Right-o. Before this gets started I must say I'm aware not everything is perfect. Not only is this just a first draft but it is a pretty shitty story, not erotic in any way by the way, but hey it is better then the nothing that's been plaguing me. Hopefully once I get this out of the way I'll be able to get back to writing decent stuff :3 with that, time to copy and paste from word. (I hate word '07 soooo much)
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Right. First chapter thing of a story done, criticize.
- Thread starter Kiwa
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The Dragon(Itâs a crappy title)
The sky was a uniform gray as clouds had blotted out any trace of what had originally been a cheerful, sunny day. There was a large clearing in the middle of a forest bordering a farming town. The clearing its self was of no importance, it is what was about to happen that was the current focus. Within the clearing were two squads of the royal knights standing on either side of the large pit that sat within the center of the clearing, weapons at the ready. One group were armed with crossbows, the bead of their sight was shifted just slightly above a small pen where there were several sheep milling about, the second group were armed with blades and shields and they looked rather apprehensive about the situation they were in. Killing a dragon was no easy feat, tales of knights doing so single handedly were but a fairytale. It common knowledge that even armies were prone to losing in a battle against a single adult dragon and yet here they were just two squads, granted they were elite soldiers, and they were expected to take on one of the fearsome beasts that had been attacking the local farms that were growing too close to the forest.
The two groups of soldiers stood on either end of the pit, the leader of each squad stood ready to command their soldiers. The commander of the larger group stood surveying the âtrapâ if it could even be called that, that was set up for the beast they were to capture. While it was simple, she no doubt figured a stupid beast would fall for it. Her name was Scarlet and she was the captain of one of three elite squads of soldiers in the kingdom, one of the few kingdoms that allowed women in the military as in most other places it was a laughable idea. Like most of the people to live on the southern half of the continent, she wasnât human. She belonged to a group of humanoid beings commonly known as âBeast Folkâ or âBeast Peopleâ amongst the myriad of other terms that the humans had coined for them. The origins of the name was obvious, the beast people were quite literally humanoid animals. In Captain Scarletâs case she was a wolf, her fur a dark crimson colour for reasons that to her were unknown, unlike the hair of humans unnatural colours werenât very common or popular in the culture of the beast people. Her fur however was not the only thing that would make her stand out in a crowd as she was tall in stature, her body carefully sculpted and shaped through years of training as a soldier as well, which gave her a rather intimidating appearance. As usual, Captain Scarlet was clad in the usual heavy armor, unlike most knights of high class she refused to get something flashy and as such her armor was rather dull in terms of appearance but far more effective then what most knights of her rank would wear. It consisted of a full suit of paint less metal designed simply for combat with no cares for comfort and most notably a lack of a helmet.
Captain Scarlet glanced across the pit, identifying the other captain only by the non-standard armor that all the other soldiers had to wear. With a sigh she noticed that none of the other squad were in position. Giving her soldiers the order to hold position until told otherwise she walked around the pit to find the other captain, she knew little about other people even of her own rank due to her habit of not working with the other captains unless forced to not too unlike this mission. Finding the customized armor that gleamed even in this dim daylight she tapped the other figure on the shoulder using one of the gauntlet-clad knuckles of hers. She looked down at the other figure as the other captain turned and was mildly surprised that the other captain that had been assigned to work with her was female as well, she hadnât been aware there were any high ranking females aside from herself. Despite being one of the few kingdoms that allowed females into the military they usually didnât get very high ranking positions and if they desired them had to work harder then a man did to prove themselves worthy of it. âYour men arenât in position.â Scarlet said bluntly, not letting the other captainâs gender affect how unkind she would be towards them âThe beast could be here any minute now and if your soldiers arenât ready the plan will fail at step one.â While Scarletâs forces consisted mostly of ground soldiers and battle mages, the second captainâs forces were archers and standard mages. âGet the twelve in position to trap the thingâs wings. Make sure your mages know to focus on supporting the troops, dragons are nearly invulnerable to most offensive magicâ She glared down at the other captain, using her taller stature to look imposing and possibly even frightening to help get her point across before growling and turning on her heel to go back to her men, wanting to make sure they were completely ready for when the beast came and hopefully fell for their trap. She let out another sigh, she hated having plans rely on people that werenât under her direct control, the risk of it all going wrong was too high to make Scarlet at ease.
Upon seeing Captain Scarlet, her equal despite the unfortunate attitude, depart to go back to her forces the other captain stuck her tongue out in a rather childish gesture, rolling her eyes as she turned to look at her own soldiers. âRight!â The younger woman said as she looked over the marksmen and support mages she had at her disposal âYou sixâ She said with a gesture to six of her stronger marksmen âGo on the opposite side, by that large boulderâ She sighed as she turned to the other six she had chosen for this âYou stay here, wait by the trees.â The first stage of their plan consisted of shooting arrows into the dragonâs wings, forcing it to land and preventing it from flying away, the twelve marksmen, chosen for their physical strength, would hold the ropes attached to the specially crafted arrowheads to prevent the beast from flying off or using its wings in any way. Of course that was a risky move in its self, considering the size and strength of the dragon. The second captain began to talk to the remainder of her forces, giving them their orders already, mostly just to appease the apparently cranky Captain Scarlet.
Scarlet nodded to herself as she watched her fellow commanders men march to their positions. She hated having to yell at people of her own level, but really they should be able to do these sorts of things on their own and not have to be told to do it after all they were here hunting one of the most fearsome beasts in the world, not out hunting rabbits. She looked to her own men, positioned around the pit, hidden under enchanted cloths to blend in with the ground. She nodded as she picked up the cloth she was to hide under as they waited for the dragon to come. She looked around up in the sky, in the distance she could see a large dark object moving far up in the air. She ducked to the ground, pulling the magical cloth over herself, her hand moving to the hilt of the battle axe that remained strapped to her back as she waited for their pray to fall into their trap so they could kill it and go home.
The dragon in question was flying over the forest, it had smelled the live pray not too unlike the kind it had been eating off of the settlements around this lair, a dragon of its age has several lairs, and was sweeping over the trees to find it as it would make for an easy meal. The sun glinted off of the emerald scales that coated the majority of its body, the softer, smoother scales that covered its lower jaw and underbelly were a deep metallic bronze. Following its nose the dragon tilted downwards and flew towards the clearing and to the pit. As it drew closer the dragon spotted the large pit with the sheep and it prepared to land. It was then that it felt the pain, twelve sharp needle points of white hot pain coursed through the sensitive membrane of the dragons wings as hooked arrow heads ripped through flesh and the creatures below stepped out of hiding, the ones holding the ropes attached to its wings began to pull the ropes as the dragon roared, frantically moving its wings to try and escape, its golden eyes looking down at the other creatures that came out of hiding, each of them unsheathing shining weapons crafted specifically to be sharp enough to cut through dragon scales. The dragon did not fear these pathetic creatures and their hides of steel, after all they died as quickly as anything else under enough heat and physical pressure, they werenât strong creatures like the dragon.
Scarlet tossed aside her cover when she heard the dragon land and saw the dust from the dragons landing had settled. As she stood she gave the command for her soldiers to arise from their covers as well, her hand reaching behind her back to pull the battle axe from where it was strapped to her body. She looked at the beast in the eyes as her soldiers split their forces in two, to prevent them all being killed in one blast of fire should the mages protection wear off, and began the attack on the large beast. Dragons were large creatures, they were rather difficult to kill from the ground with swords, axes and other similar weapons because of this fact, assuming someone was able to get through the scales they had to work on the goal as to how to get to any vital part of the creature to kill it. In this case was to attack the legs to trip the dragon or cause it to fall over, the two front legs in this plan which they would soon realize was a bad idea.
Dark clouds began to spread across the sky as the battle began, a meager army against a mythical beast. Bladed weapons clashed against draconic scales, enchantments cutting through the tough scales and slashing flesh as the dragon did its best to fight off the soldiers, claws and fangs tearing through armor like paper and arrows firing at the dragon, piercing its scales achieving little but to irritate the beast more. As the ominous clouds began to fill the sky covering the clearing everything fell apart. The dragon roared, taking a deep breath as it reared onto its hind legs, pulling its wings back at the same time, the weight and strength of the dragons body was more then enough to cause the men that had been holding the wings down to lose their footing which in turn caused many to let go of the rope.
The dragon felt its wings freed from the weight that had been keeping them down as it surveyed the ground in front of it from its raised stance, its great front claws pawing at the air as it took in a deep breath, preparing its self for a blast of fire. The bowmen fired off a final volley of arrows at the beast, the sharp arrows hitting the softer underbelly of the dragon drawing a faint crimson flow of blood but not managing to do enough damage to stop the beast as it came down onto all four feet again, crushing several soldiers under its weight. As soon as the dragon landed on all four feet it moved its wings which kicked up a gust of wind and blowing dust into the air, blinding the soldiers and their commanders. Both captains knew what was coming and the voice of the captain of the second squad barely managed to be heard over the wind caused by the dragon.
âRetreat!â She shouted, coughing as she inhaled dust âGet out of here, everyone!â She knew that the soldiers under the command of Captain Scarlet wouldnât listen, but at least she would be able to get her squad out of this before it became too late. The men threw down their weapons as they fled from the area, following their leaders command to escape.
Scarlet growled as she heard the command to retreat. She couldnât believe that they were just leaving! The plan may not have been flawless but they could still win this, there was no need to retreat like a coward. She glared up at the dragon through the haze of the dust, watching as it opened its vast, fanged maw, a pinprick of red light from deep within bloomed as it burst out of the throat and out into the air, the winds blowing the flames around rather then putting them out. Scarlet cursed the magical fires of a dragons breath as she ran to the side of the dragon, hoping her soldiers had the same idea to just get out of the range of the blast before it was too late.
The blast of flames hit like Armageddon. Roughly half the soldiers were caught within the range of the flames. The lucky ones were burnt alive, the unlucky ones survived with horrendous burns, their flesh fused to red, or even white, hot metal plates of their armor, the magical barriers of the mages were useless under the assault of such a powerful blast, mages were trained to repel human spells not dragons. Ignoring the screams of the wounded and dying Scarlet gave the order to continue the assault against the dragon, from where she stood she began to charge into the fray herself to assist her men in what was obviously a suicide mission. However she never made it to the dragon as a flick of its tail caught her midsection, knocking her back outside of the pit and breaking several ribs in the process.
Scarlet opened her eyes, staring up at the gray sky from the clearing as she felt a drop of rain fall onto her nose. As she came to her senses she began to try to get up, the sounds of the battle were still going on. Not much time had passed, thankfully, and her men, though there were less then there were before she was knocked aside, were still fighting the dragon. She winced as she first tried to sit up, a sharp gasp of pain accompanied her laying back down. She searched for a few seconds and found her axe, using it for support she eventually managed to get up onto her feet, doing her best to ignore the pain within her body. âStupid animalâ¦â She muttered as she glared at the battle, watching as the dragon knocked aside a group of soldiers like it had done to her just a few minutes ago. âThereâ¦has to be somethingâ She muttered, scanning the ground in the hopes of finding something, anything, and just her luck she saw one of the bows used to hold down the dragons wings. She smiled to herself despite the pain as she picked it up and found a spare arrow to go with it, it seems the soldiers abandoned both weapon and ammo when they fled, it was one of the hooked arrows they had used to hold the wings down. A plan formed in her mind as she looked at what she had to work with.
Bow in hand Scarlet approached the edge of the pit, ignoring the ache in her torso, as she drew the bow back, keeping one foot on the end of the long rope attached to the arrow. She found herself smiling ever so slightly, if she couldnât win she could at least cause some sort of damage. With the bow drawn she took careful timing to find her target before letting loose. The dragon had stopped to devour one of the soldiers that had been hitting it with a weapon. It was as the dragon was munching on the armored body of the man that Scarlet had let the arrow fly aimed at the most vulnerable part of the dragons body, its eye. Despite the small size of the arrow compared to the large size of the beastâs eye it penetrated the orb easily, hooking its self in the back of the eye. Scarlet watched as the rope attached to the arrow was being pulled away so she grabbed it before it was too late, gasping in pain as the rope pulled harshly against her grip, forcing her to move quickly, causing the pain of her ribs to flare. Gritting her teeth she wrapped the rope around her gauntlets once it had lodged its self in the eye of the beast. She watched as it roared in pain this was her chance. Taking a deep breath she pulled as hard as she could and with an odd sense of satisfaction she watched as the hook that had lodged its self so deeply into the back of the creatures eye did its work and with enough work the eye came free, ripping out of the socket with a wet tearing sound, falling to the ground in a shower of blood.
There was a sharp stab of pain in the dragonâs right eye causing it to roar with pain. Its eye was stinging and before it could use its claw to get rid of whatever it was things went black on the right side, half of its vision was gone. Frantically the dragon looked for what had caused this, the scent of its own blood filling the air atop the smell of the blood of the people it had slaughtered and the charred flesh. It tilted its head to compensate for the missing eye, the pain forgotten in its rage as it spotted the cause for this, one of the weak creatures holding a rope attached to whatever it was that had ripped out its eye. With a great roar that would make even the most stalwart of warriors reconsider staying there the dragon charged at the crimson âfurred warrior, reaching up with one clawed foot and slashing. Scarlet had little time to react when the dragon charged, they were fast for such large creatures, and just had the sense to leap back. She felt three white hot lines of pain cross the right side of her body, which soon settled to an odd, distant warmth. She watched, feeling like the whole world was slipping out of focus as the dragon stepped back and surveyed her and turned around. The dragon had had enough it had lost one eye to this and had taken out what seemed to be the leader of those soldiers, hopefully the red-furred one would die soon, it didnât feel the claws tear into the body as deeply as they usually did but those creatures were soft and fell easily regardless. Scarlet watched as the world swam around her, seeing the dragon spread its wings and take flight, hearing what few men had survived this cheer she looked around and noticed the blood that covered her armor and the grass, she hardly had enough time to think âis that mine or the dragons?â before the world went gray and she passed out.
That's all I have for now. I'm aware of how shitty it is but still, feel free to tell me so and please criticize me. This isn't my usual level of writing I can do much better but right now this is what my mind wants me to write so I am. I'm always looking to improve so yeah tell me stuff. Also please keep in mind most of this was written past 2AM to 5AM >_>;
The sky was a uniform gray as clouds had blotted out any trace of what had originally been a cheerful, sunny day. There was a large clearing in the middle of a forest bordering a farming town. The clearing its self was of no importance, it is what was about to happen that was the current focus. Within the clearing were two squads of the royal knights standing on either side of the large pit that sat within the center of the clearing, weapons at the ready. One group were armed with crossbows, the bead of their sight was shifted just slightly above a small pen where there were several sheep milling about, the second group were armed with blades and shields and they looked rather apprehensive about the situation they were in. Killing a dragon was no easy feat, tales of knights doing so single handedly were but a fairytale. It common knowledge that even armies were prone to losing in a battle against a single adult dragon and yet here they were just two squads, granted they were elite soldiers, and they were expected to take on one of the fearsome beasts that had been attacking the local farms that were growing too close to the forest.
The two groups of soldiers stood on either end of the pit, the leader of each squad stood ready to command their soldiers. The commander of the larger group stood surveying the âtrapâ if it could even be called that, that was set up for the beast they were to capture. While it was simple, she no doubt figured a stupid beast would fall for it. Her name was Scarlet and she was the captain of one of three elite squads of soldiers in the kingdom, one of the few kingdoms that allowed women in the military as in most other places it was a laughable idea. Like most of the people to live on the southern half of the continent, she wasnât human. She belonged to a group of humanoid beings commonly known as âBeast Folkâ or âBeast Peopleâ amongst the myriad of other terms that the humans had coined for them. The origins of the name was obvious, the beast people were quite literally humanoid animals. In Captain Scarletâs case she was a wolf, her fur a dark crimson colour for reasons that to her were unknown, unlike the hair of humans unnatural colours werenât very common or popular in the culture of the beast people. Her fur however was not the only thing that would make her stand out in a crowd as she was tall in stature, her body carefully sculpted and shaped through years of training as a soldier as well, which gave her a rather intimidating appearance. As usual, Captain Scarlet was clad in the usual heavy armor, unlike most knights of high class she refused to get something flashy and as such her armor was rather dull in terms of appearance but far more effective then what most knights of her rank would wear. It consisted of a full suit of paint less metal designed simply for combat with no cares for comfort and most notably a lack of a helmet.
Captain Scarlet glanced across the pit, identifying the other captain only by the non-standard armor that all the other soldiers had to wear. With a sigh she noticed that none of the other squad were in position. Giving her soldiers the order to hold position until told otherwise she walked around the pit to find the other captain, she knew little about other people even of her own rank due to her habit of not working with the other captains unless forced to not too unlike this mission. Finding the customized armor that gleamed even in this dim daylight she tapped the other figure on the shoulder using one of the gauntlet-clad knuckles of hers. She looked down at the other figure as the other captain turned and was mildly surprised that the other captain that had been assigned to work with her was female as well, she hadnât been aware there were any high ranking females aside from herself. Despite being one of the few kingdoms that allowed females into the military they usually didnât get very high ranking positions and if they desired them had to work harder then a man did to prove themselves worthy of it. âYour men arenât in position.â Scarlet said bluntly, not letting the other captainâs gender affect how unkind she would be towards them âThe beast could be here any minute now and if your soldiers arenât ready the plan will fail at step one.â While Scarletâs forces consisted mostly of ground soldiers and battle mages, the second captainâs forces were archers and standard mages. âGet the twelve in position to trap the thingâs wings. Make sure your mages know to focus on supporting the troops, dragons are nearly invulnerable to most offensive magicâ She glared down at the other captain, using her taller stature to look imposing and possibly even frightening to help get her point across before growling and turning on her heel to go back to her men, wanting to make sure they were completely ready for when the beast came and hopefully fell for their trap. She let out another sigh, she hated having plans rely on people that werenât under her direct control, the risk of it all going wrong was too high to make Scarlet at ease.
Upon seeing Captain Scarlet, her equal despite the unfortunate attitude, depart to go back to her forces the other captain stuck her tongue out in a rather childish gesture, rolling her eyes as she turned to look at her own soldiers. âRight!â The younger woman said as she looked over the marksmen and support mages she had at her disposal âYou sixâ She said with a gesture to six of her stronger marksmen âGo on the opposite side, by that large boulderâ She sighed as she turned to the other six she had chosen for this âYou stay here, wait by the trees.â The first stage of their plan consisted of shooting arrows into the dragonâs wings, forcing it to land and preventing it from flying away, the twelve marksmen, chosen for their physical strength, would hold the ropes attached to the specially crafted arrowheads to prevent the beast from flying off or using its wings in any way. Of course that was a risky move in its self, considering the size and strength of the dragon. The second captain began to talk to the remainder of her forces, giving them their orders already, mostly just to appease the apparently cranky Captain Scarlet.
Scarlet nodded to herself as she watched her fellow commanders men march to their positions. She hated having to yell at people of her own level, but really they should be able to do these sorts of things on their own and not have to be told to do it after all they were here hunting one of the most fearsome beasts in the world, not out hunting rabbits. She looked to her own men, positioned around the pit, hidden under enchanted cloths to blend in with the ground. She nodded as she picked up the cloth she was to hide under as they waited for the dragon to come. She looked around up in the sky, in the distance she could see a large dark object moving far up in the air. She ducked to the ground, pulling the magical cloth over herself, her hand moving to the hilt of the battle axe that remained strapped to her back as she waited for their pray to fall into their trap so they could kill it and go home.
The dragon in question was flying over the forest, it had smelled the live pray not too unlike the kind it had been eating off of the settlements around this lair, a dragon of its age has several lairs, and was sweeping over the trees to find it as it would make for an easy meal. The sun glinted off of the emerald scales that coated the majority of its body, the softer, smoother scales that covered its lower jaw and underbelly were a deep metallic bronze. Following its nose the dragon tilted downwards and flew towards the clearing and to the pit. As it drew closer the dragon spotted the large pit with the sheep and it prepared to land. It was then that it felt the pain, twelve sharp needle points of white hot pain coursed through the sensitive membrane of the dragons wings as hooked arrow heads ripped through flesh and the creatures below stepped out of hiding, the ones holding the ropes attached to its wings began to pull the ropes as the dragon roared, frantically moving its wings to try and escape, its golden eyes looking down at the other creatures that came out of hiding, each of them unsheathing shining weapons crafted specifically to be sharp enough to cut through dragon scales. The dragon did not fear these pathetic creatures and their hides of steel, after all they died as quickly as anything else under enough heat and physical pressure, they werenât strong creatures like the dragon.
Scarlet tossed aside her cover when she heard the dragon land and saw the dust from the dragons landing had settled. As she stood she gave the command for her soldiers to arise from their covers as well, her hand reaching behind her back to pull the battle axe from where it was strapped to her body. She looked at the beast in the eyes as her soldiers split their forces in two, to prevent them all being killed in one blast of fire should the mages protection wear off, and began the attack on the large beast. Dragons were large creatures, they were rather difficult to kill from the ground with swords, axes and other similar weapons because of this fact, assuming someone was able to get through the scales they had to work on the goal as to how to get to any vital part of the creature to kill it. In this case was to attack the legs to trip the dragon or cause it to fall over, the two front legs in this plan which they would soon realize was a bad idea.
Dark clouds began to spread across the sky as the battle began, a meager army against a mythical beast. Bladed weapons clashed against draconic scales, enchantments cutting through the tough scales and slashing flesh as the dragon did its best to fight off the soldiers, claws and fangs tearing through armor like paper and arrows firing at the dragon, piercing its scales achieving little but to irritate the beast more. As the ominous clouds began to fill the sky covering the clearing everything fell apart. The dragon roared, taking a deep breath as it reared onto its hind legs, pulling its wings back at the same time, the weight and strength of the dragons body was more then enough to cause the men that had been holding the wings down to lose their footing which in turn caused many to let go of the rope.
The dragon felt its wings freed from the weight that had been keeping them down as it surveyed the ground in front of it from its raised stance, its great front claws pawing at the air as it took in a deep breath, preparing its self for a blast of fire. The bowmen fired off a final volley of arrows at the beast, the sharp arrows hitting the softer underbelly of the dragon drawing a faint crimson flow of blood but not managing to do enough damage to stop the beast as it came down onto all four feet again, crushing several soldiers under its weight. As soon as the dragon landed on all four feet it moved its wings which kicked up a gust of wind and blowing dust into the air, blinding the soldiers and their commanders. Both captains knew what was coming and the voice of the captain of the second squad barely managed to be heard over the wind caused by the dragon.
âRetreat!â She shouted, coughing as she inhaled dust âGet out of here, everyone!â She knew that the soldiers under the command of Captain Scarlet wouldnât listen, but at least she would be able to get her squad out of this before it became too late. The men threw down their weapons as they fled from the area, following their leaders command to escape.
Scarlet growled as she heard the command to retreat. She couldnât believe that they were just leaving! The plan may not have been flawless but they could still win this, there was no need to retreat like a coward. She glared up at the dragon through the haze of the dust, watching as it opened its vast, fanged maw, a pinprick of red light from deep within bloomed as it burst out of the throat and out into the air, the winds blowing the flames around rather then putting them out. Scarlet cursed the magical fires of a dragons breath as she ran to the side of the dragon, hoping her soldiers had the same idea to just get out of the range of the blast before it was too late.
The blast of flames hit like Armageddon. Roughly half the soldiers were caught within the range of the flames. The lucky ones were burnt alive, the unlucky ones survived with horrendous burns, their flesh fused to red, or even white, hot metal plates of their armor, the magical barriers of the mages were useless under the assault of such a powerful blast, mages were trained to repel human spells not dragons. Ignoring the screams of the wounded and dying Scarlet gave the order to continue the assault against the dragon, from where she stood she began to charge into the fray herself to assist her men in what was obviously a suicide mission. However she never made it to the dragon as a flick of its tail caught her midsection, knocking her back outside of the pit and breaking several ribs in the process.
Scarlet opened her eyes, staring up at the gray sky from the clearing as she felt a drop of rain fall onto her nose. As she came to her senses she began to try to get up, the sounds of the battle were still going on. Not much time had passed, thankfully, and her men, though there were less then there were before she was knocked aside, were still fighting the dragon. She winced as she first tried to sit up, a sharp gasp of pain accompanied her laying back down. She searched for a few seconds and found her axe, using it for support she eventually managed to get up onto her feet, doing her best to ignore the pain within her body. âStupid animalâ¦â She muttered as she glared at the battle, watching as the dragon knocked aside a group of soldiers like it had done to her just a few minutes ago. âThereâ¦has to be somethingâ She muttered, scanning the ground in the hopes of finding something, anything, and just her luck she saw one of the bows used to hold down the dragons wings. She smiled to herself despite the pain as she picked it up and found a spare arrow to go with it, it seems the soldiers abandoned both weapon and ammo when they fled, it was one of the hooked arrows they had used to hold the wings down. A plan formed in her mind as she looked at what she had to work with.
Bow in hand Scarlet approached the edge of the pit, ignoring the ache in her torso, as she drew the bow back, keeping one foot on the end of the long rope attached to the arrow. She found herself smiling ever so slightly, if she couldnât win she could at least cause some sort of damage. With the bow drawn she took careful timing to find her target before letting loose. The dragon had stopped to devour one of the soldiers that had been hitting it with a weapon. It was as the dragon was munching on the armored body of the man that Scarlet had let the arrow fly aimed at the most vulnerable part of the dragons body, its eye. Despite the small size of the arrow compared to the large size of the beastâs eye it penetrated the orb easily, hooking its self in the back of the eye. Scarlet watched as the rope attached to the arrow was being pulled away so she grabbed it before it was too late, gasping in pain as the rope pulled harshly against her grip, forcing her to move quickly, causing the pain of her ribs to flare. Gritting her teeth she wrapped the rope around her gauntlets once it had lodged its self in the eye of the beast. She watched as it roared in pain this was her chance. Taking a deep breath she pulled as hard as she could and with an odd sense of satisfaction she watched as the hook that had lodged its self so deeply into the back of the creatures eye did its work and with enough work the eye came free, ripping out of the socket with a wet tearing sound, falling to the ground in a shower of blood.
There was a sharp stab of pain in the dragonâs right eye causing it to roar with pain. Its eye was stinging and before it could use its claw to get rid of whatever it was things went black on the right side, half of its vision was gone. Frantically the dragon looked for what had caused this, the scent of its own blood filling the air atop the smell of the blood of the people it had slaughtered and the charred flesh. It tilted its head to compensate for the missing eye, the pain forgotten in its rage as it spotted the cause for this, one of the weak creatures holding a rope attached to whatever it was that had ripped out its eye. With a great roar that would make even the most stalwart of warriors reconsider staying there the dragon charged at the crimson âfurred warrior, reaching up with one clawed foot and slashing. Scarlet had little time to react when the dragon charged, they were fast for such large creatures, and just had the sense to leap back. She felt three white hot lines of pain cross the right side of her body, which soon settled to an odd, distant warmth. She watched, feeling like the whole world was slipping out of focus as the dragon stepped back and surveyed her and turned around. The dragon had had enough it had lost one eye to this and had taken out what seemed to be the leader of those soldiers, hopefully the red-furred one would die soon, it didnât feel the claws tear into the body as deeply as they usually did but those creatures were soft and fell easily regardless. Scarlet watched as the world swam around her, seeing the dragon spread its wings and take flight, hearing what few men had survived this cheer she looked around and noticed the blood that covered her armor and the grass, she hardly had enough time to think âis that mine or the dragons?â before the world went gray and she passed out.
That's all I have for now. I'm aware of how shitty it is but still, feel free to tell me so and please criticize me. This isn't my usual level of writing I can do much better but right now this is what my mind wants me to write so I am. I'm always looking to improve so yeah tell me stuff. Also please keep in mind most of this was written past 2AM to 5AM >_>;
I haven't quite read it all, but from what I've read I mostly like it. I've gotta go to my midnight shit here soon, so I don't have too terribly much time to post, but here's what I like about it.
I like dragons, that's always a plus. you portrayed the dragon mythos you chose quite well, which was well, a Beast. From what your character Scarlet believed, they were bestial, primal creatures of fear, terror, brute strength and wreathed in destruction. Your writing did not disappoint in that respect. Your writing style seems to somehow come more alive whenever you're talking about that beast, I'm assuming that's because it interests you more than then soldiers, their pathetic tactics or any sort of chance for survival. Strength is strength, the Dragons wins, neh?
Overall, a good story. But some small things I'd like to point out, focusing on the first two paragraphs I believe.
Your writing did nothing to allude that these men were the Elite. There were no allusions as to their skill or adeptitude in any sort of magics, no prowess of arms. You only mentioned Soldiers, maybe it's just me, but if I'm going to introduce anything Elite into a scenario, they're going to be somewhat like a sore thumb. People know they're good, and when they do, they typically show it. You just seemed to mention this in an 'Offhand' way, to my ears. If I'm merely misreadiing this, then by all means forgive me.
And I've got to go. Happy writing, it's good stuff so far.
I like dragons, that's always a plus. you portrayed the dragon mythos you chose quite well, which was well, a Beast. From what your character Scarlet believed, they were bestial, primal creatures of fear, terror, brute strength and wreathed in destruction. Your writing did not disappoint in that respect. Your writing style seems to somehow come more alive whenever you're talking about that beast, I'm assuming that's because it interests you more than then soldiers, their pathetic tactics or any sort of chance for survival. Strength is strength, the Dragons wins, neh?
Overall, a good story. But some small things I'd like to point out, focusing on the first two paragraphs I believe.
Your writing did nothing to allude that these men were the Elite. There were no allusions as to their skill or adeptitude in any sort of magics, no prowess of arms. You only mentioned Soldiers, maybe it's just me, but if I'm going to introduce anything Elite into a scenario, they're going to be somewhat like a sore thumb. People know they're good, and when they do, they typically show it. You just seemed to mention this in an 'Offhand' way, to my ears. If I'm merely misreadiing this, then by all means forgive me.
This quote is as pertaining to Scarlets Armor. I don't quite get the image of the armor from the description. You say the armor was not built for comfort, yet full plate in the Traditional english/Saxon/Brtinnica style that is most often shown on movies is a very weighty thing. If it's not built for comfort, all sorts of health issues may arise from it's wear, no matter how strong or tough one is. In my humble opinion Scarlet could have used a bit more introduction, but the basis is very well set.
And I've got to go. Happy writing, it's good stuff so far.