Omoonchild
Moon
- Joined
- Jun 23, 2020
Day one: SHAME
________________
Before you dive deep into this thread it is important to know that I am the type of person that comes and gos... a libra with no true destination in life just yet...
so, lets talk about shame
I have people in my life who are toxic and dont accept the side of me that is in love with writing erotic scenes and stories.
It has been hard navigating it because it was all from a long time partner that always somehow found out if i was still writing or not but... those days are over and i have finally separated from that area and want to rebuild my skills and my passion for it has not changed. Ill always keep coming back to it because this is a community that i love.
Anywho, i felt a lot of shame when he would talk to me about my kinks and pleasures. I feel like he was disgusted with how much i liked to explore but also how i denied the things i didn't like. Anal hasn't been something I've ever wanted to try but he pressures me and when i still say no he gets angry.
In reality we just didn’t have sex and when we did it would be vanilla, small biting and hairpulling. I have vasts interests but he couldnt get past no anal and it was hard.
he is the main reason ive been on and off of this site. When i seperated from him I couldnt get over the fact that so much of who i really was was subdued and diminished and coming back to a place of accepting my own sexuality again. Man, it was a journey and it was rouuuugh.
So, here i am again on this site. With full intentions of honouring myself as an erotic writer and i have started writing my first collection of short stories that i hope to have out by the end of the summer.
Ill try to post here once in a while to log hoq im doing and feeling. Youll see characters once in a while on this thread and I wîl lwave a space to tell if im around or not here too. Good to be back and putting energy into the things that I love.
________________
Before you dive deep into this thread it is important to know that I am the type of person that comes and gos... a libra with no true destination in life just yet...
so, lets talk about shame
I have people in my life who are toxic and dont accept the side of me that is in love with writing erotic scenes and stories.
It has been hard navigating it because it was all from a long time partner that always somehow found out if i was still writing or not but... those days are over and i have finally separated from that area and want to rebuild my skills and my passion for it has not changed. Ill always keep coming back to it because this is a community that i love.
Anywho, i felt a lot of shame when he would talk to me about my kinks and pleasures. I feel like he was disgusted with how much i liked to explore but also how i denied the things i didn't like. Anal hasn't been something I've ever wanted to try but he pressures me and when i still say no he gets angry.
In reality we just didn’t have sex and when we did it would be vanilla, small biting and hairpulling. I have vasts interests but he couldnt get past no anal and it was hard.
he is the main reason ive been on and off of this site. When i seperated from him I couldnt get over the fact that so much of who i really was was subdued and diminished and coming back to a place of accepting my own sexuality again. Man, it was a journey and it was rouuuugh.
So, here i am again on this site. With full intentions of honouring myself as an erotic writer and i have started writing my first collection of short stories that i hope to have out by the end of the summer.
Ill try to post here once in a while to log hoq im doing and feeling. Youll see characters once in a while on this thread and I wîl lwave a space to tell if im around or not here too. Good to be back and putting energy into the things that I love.