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Planning and Expectations

Seranda

Seranda

🎵 Fighting Evil By Moonlight 🎵
Joined
Jan 20, 2013
Location
The House of Hades
I apologize, I'm in a bit of a rut lately, but maybe some conversation will help pep me back up. Taking on new partners has become a bit of a chore for me. As with the entrance interview and plethora of questions, I find myself regretting ever even having the idea. Then there are expectations. I see a character, an image, have a fabulous idea while listening to a song, or watching... adult entertainment... and say, wow... that would be really fun to play if... so and so does this and that, in the here and there... and a very specific scenario is drawn into your head. It's good. It's sexy. You want to play that out, badly.

Having expectations like that is usually going to lead to disappointment. Your future partner may have a different view of the same scenario, and they will hopefully try to make it interesting for you, but if you expected the woman to react in anger when the player has no reason not to have her react in pleasure, your whole scenario could be thrown off, and you get upset, and lose interest as your dream expectation is now ruined. You slow your replies, ignore the partner and maybe even stop responding altogether. Keep your expectations in check. If you want everything to play out as you ordain.. write a story.

Planning can be a painful process. You go back and forth between what you want to do, and discuss your kinks - I'm starting to hate this question- and other ideas. You bounce back and forth for far too long, and when you feel ready -sometimes- you dive in. After all that planning the RP lasts a whopping 8 posts before one of you fizzles out, the wonder of the RP gone and all that planning really being for nothing.

Maybe I should only keep to my current roster of partners who know me and already understand me. People I know will try their best to continue to deliver. A new partner is simply too risky, too time consuming, and the chances of that person being someone who is consistently reliable is pretty low. Some folks just come here to have a sex scene then leave for months at a time. This may be the end of the line for me. But I'm going to slow down on planning, as it's barely even worth it to me, and expectations are non-existent. Expect your character to have sex a couple of times. That's really the only expectation you should have.
 
Planning and starting a new RP is a tricky exercise, it's hard to do right, I won't deny that. Too much planning, and why bother writing out a story? Too little planning, and it becomes difficult to really plan out a collaborative writing effort. And then as you say, some partners are not able to post as much as others, or there's the issue of ghosting, or just an RP not working out. Lord knows I've been in those positions on some end quite a few times.

I get that finding new partners can be a struggle and it's easy to look inwards and try to use the partners you currently have. The people you know to be consistent, quality, and those who 'get' you. I too have fallen into that sort of 'rut' (Not that I'd call it a negative thing) before as well. Of course, I feel doing that too much can lead to the proverbial well running dry. Too many stories, not enough time to do them all with one partner.

I don't think there's an easy way to solve an issue like this. Perhaps there's an issue with one straining themselves a bit too far with ideas and setting up RP's. I know if I'm trying to set up 3-4 RP's at once, just doing so can feel exhausting and makes me want to stop altogether. Some people may be more tolerant or capable of planning out RP's and setting something up, but I do feel that if you're just not enjoying the creative spark of making a new RP with someone, it's a good idea to step back, and then try to assess why you're not enjoying the planning stage of an RP. Or perhaps it's just a good idea to take a break from finding new partners. There's nothing wrong with that, it's just a matter of finding out what works best for you in the moment I feel.

Sorry, this probably came off as rambly.
 
I've had this happen to me once or twice. I think part of the problem with the fizzling out is that amount of effort you both put into coming up with the roleplay in the first place. So much so that by the time you actually get to doing it; you're already exhausted. Not sure what to suggest in that regard, though. But, there's my two cents.
 
The first paragraph is uncanny, the second admittedly turns up; sometimes it's not even having the scene, but instead not planning it out to the point where I can tell what's specifically cool about it save the tangential aspects that made me interested in the first place.

I'm already a bit of a minimalist in requests and all that, but I'm also thinking of steering from new stuff to try and keep the muse for people I can at least write out things with. Sometimes I've found my interest quits the moment I see what I'm working with, not because it's bad, but the mental barriers in actually proceeding both with it and the style. Not even expectations, just a better vision of a muse that was never strong in the first place.

For now my take is basically retiring from roleplay for stretches of time, at least right now and seeing if it builds up well enough for the things I do have in the door.
 
A lot of this is chemistry to me. You can bypass the tedium if you go in knowing your niche, having good conversation and letting that turn into something. Otherwise it can be too formal...

...but if it's not that, having as much laid on the table as possible to avoid dealbreaking surprises is good. Especially if you are going to make a nice thread that appeals to a lot of people, but then you say 'oh and I only write on google docs' and you're not gonna budge.
 
I want an arc and yes/nos before I start. If it's going to be unpleasant for me, why bother? I find someone who wants the same things.
 
To me, the most important element to figure out are the expectations, planning be damned. If we don't expect the same thing from the RP, no amount of planning is going to save those two diverging paths we're writing. And if our expectations align perfectly, then we won't have to talk too much about planning in the first place, as we're both aiming in the same direction to begin with. Not that I mind planning, but aligning expectations is alpha and omega. Of course, planning can help figure out one's expectations, so there's that, heh.
 
Laa said:
To me, the most important element to figure out are the expectations, planning be damned. If we don't expect the same thing from the RP, no amount of planning is going to save those two diverging paths we're writing. And if our expectations align perfectly, then we won't have to talk too much about planning in the first place, as we're both aiming in the same direction to begin with. Not that I mind planning, but aligning expectations is alpha and omega. Of course, planning can help figure out one's expectations, so there's that, heh.
Click to expand...
I like this take.
 
It can be painful I agree. Recently I thought I found a great partner, we spend a while planning out the RP and then started it, they wrote epic posts which is fine but I have found people who do that tend to burn out. After about 6 or so turns they tell me they would rather not continue! WTF?! There was nothing that I could tell that I did wrong. I think they just lost interest or didn't want to RP at all as I didn't see them on the site again.

Sometimes over planning an RP can also lead to a situation of "Do we still really need to play this out?" although I do like it when it takes on a life of it's own and characters do things that neither partner planned on.
 
That's why I sound "demanding." I just want someone who wants the same in a game.
 
Less planning more chemistry to me. I've got a peculiar 'gait', so I know people are gonna make a lot of choices off just that. If we get to more details, we can talk and see what our priorities are. If they mix - we really don't need that much planning (although it can be quite fun!) and I feel most expectations end up implied after a serious chat, a bit of research and if we just click. The exception doesn't bother me, it's a quick chat away to fix. If we get along, whats the hurt in just trying?~
 
I like to know that my partner and I are on the same page that they can provide ideas and I won't be carrying the whole thing myself. So that takes some discussion and planning. That doesn't mean it's written in stone though and I like sensible plot related surprises like when the characters start growing a life of their own and do things you didn't count on - even your own character!

New ideas come up all the time.

Chatting to new people though can be painful and tedious but I think after a while you develop like a 6th sense where you can just tell almost instantly if you will click with them or not.
 
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