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Sheena-Tiger
Star
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2014
- Location
- Germany
Hello dear reader,
if you popped up here, you might wonder what happened to me, where am I, why am I not reacting/posting.
Well, one issue might be my psychological state which is fluctuating with bad and good times.
At the beginning of 2016 I was diagnosed with weak depressions but depressions nevertheless and meanwhile the diagnosis was upped to medium during my rehabilitation during November/December 2020.
Up until then I did not know I might have that kind of illness and thus, fighting them or reacting in a better way was hard to impossible and I think, they were the reason why some really good plays in the past had failed.
If I stop our play, I might have fallen into one of these holes, clawing to the walls while attempting to avoid the really big ones while I feel... it is hard to impossible to describe, but let's just say, the muse for some quality writing hardly could be more far away in those times.
All I can do is asking for some patience, some of these holes are really deep and large, blocking all my writing and happy thinking for quite some time, others are shallow and small and a new post (which satisfies me as well) might "only" be a week or two away.
During my stay in the clinic we worked on some tools for me to fight these downtimes more effectively and a bit of adjustment to my medication is definitely helping with a better mood, as in "I never felt so lively and happy in the last 10 or so years". I know this is nothing which will simply leave me alone. There might be years with nothing effecting me in a negative way and then there might be, out of nowhere, another long period. What I am taking with me from the clinic will help but there is sadly no miracle to make it vanish.
So, long story short: if I lack any replies to an ongoing RP without telling you what is up there are 4 options:
if you popped up here, you might wonder what happened to me, where am I, why am I not reacting/posting.
Well, one issue might be my psychological state which is fluctuating with bad and good times.
At the beginning of 2016 I was diagnosed with weak depressions but depressions nevertheless and meanwhile the diagnosis was upped to medium during my rehabilitation during November/December 2020.
Up until then I did not know I might have that kind of illness and thus, fighting them or reacting in a better way was hard to impossible and I think, they were the reason why some really good plays in the past had failed.
If I stop our play, I might have fallen into one of these holes, clawing to the walls while attempting to avoid the really big ones while I feel... it is hard to impossible to describe, but let's just say, the muse for some quality writing hardly could be more far away in those times.
All I can do is asking for some patience, some of these holes are really deep and large, blocking all my writing and happy thinking for quite some time, others are shallow and small and a new post (which satisfies me as well) might "only" be a week or two away.
During my stay in the clinic we worked on some tools for me to fight these downtimes more effectively and a bit of adjustment to my medication is definitely helping with a better mood, as in "I never felt so lively and happy in the last 10 or so years". I know this is nothing which will simply leave me alone. There might be years with nothing effecting me in a negative way and then there might be, out of nowhere, another long period. What I am taking with me from the clinic will help but there is sadly no miracle to make it vanish.
So, long story short: if I lack any replies to an ongoing RP without telling you what is up there are 4 options:
- I forgot to reply after reading and wonder why there is no answer (I tend to check rather often where there are open replies so... least likely)
- there is something I could not foresee like a major and unusual long outage of all network where I am, including mobile phone availability
- I forgot to inform you about some major timesink or that I lost interest (the second is very, very seldom... I love the RP's)
- one of these bad times sneaked up on me and I am fading out of everything with growing anxiety that I might have angered you with the time it takes me or some other stuff that is running through my head