Broken...Empty... Dead

[TheDarkerMe]

There is a feeling slipping through me. It's chill and kind of empty. It slips through me like ice. Makes my bones feel almost numb. All of me feels numb, it's kinda of nice... I don't know why I say that, but now that the numbness has hit, I don't feel pain anymore. It's kinda gone. At first I cried, but now it's just kinda... Gone. I don't know how to say it, the way I feel now. It's just... numb.

Even as I type, I try to smile. Think of the happiness that my ex-lifepartner should have. My ex-lifepartner can do better then me. Much better then me, I am such a terrible person. We don't mesh, anytime they tried to be affectionate with them I shut them down. I'm a bad person, that must be it. It seems I just cause a lot of pain to those around me. A lot of unneeded pain.

Maybe now that the one I love is free, maybe they can find someone that will truly appreciate them. I'll always love my ex-lifepartner. That won't change overtime, the kind of love may change... But I will ALWAYS love them. We where friends for many years before we hooked up, and I am hoping we continue to stay friends.

It feels different now, as I sit here and type. Almost blank, empty... distant. The numbness has spread to my skin. I'm a bad person, it keeps echoing in my mind. What kind of person breaks up with their partner of almost two years, over the phone? I did... I'm that kind of person apparently...

I'm a bad person...


I guess what I am saying is... I'm probably not going to roleplay for awhile. Not till the numbness is gone.

Oh dear, the laughter has started again... I think I'm gonna go off and die in a corner somewhere.

 

[Raziel99]

*hugs* poor girl. Go rest, you need it.

I know that eternal numbness too well. From just before darker fell before. But... that's the past. And you will find someone else.