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Detailed Male into Smut, Story and Mature Women - looking for feedback on my thread!

Mr. Ross

Planetoid
Joined
Sep 30, 2020
Alright so here it is. Mx Female - Teasing! ...can you ever have enough? [writing excerpt included]

I wrote this when I rejoined BMR a while back and I got some pretty good partners right off the bat. Got busy and just automatically bumped it without paying it a lot of mind. Now I'm seriously looking once more, so it'd be good to actually improve my thread.

The title is atrocious, I'm aware. I was never good with titles. I'd welcome some feedback or even general tips with regards to having an eye-catching title.

Other than the structure if quite simple, first part is about me, preferences, logistics and so on. Included a writing excerpt too. Don't know if I should have the excerpt embedded into the post, rather than have it link out to Google Docs?

With regards to the setups I have given...thoughts?
 

Our Father

Super-Earth
Joined
Dec 15, 2017
Obvs I am not your target audience, but I suggest getting rid of all the colors. In the forum's default theme the purple text is a bit difficult to read; anyone seeing it is likely to just gloss over it entirely. It doesn't seem as if this forum supports other themes, but if it does that's something to be aware of.
 

The Goodman

Filled with a brilliant madness
Joined
Oct 12, 2017
Location
Elliquiy
Obvs I am not your target audience, but I suggest getting rid of all the colors. In the forum's default theme the purple text is a bit difficult to read; anyone seeing it is likely to just gloss over it entirely. It doesn't seem as if this forum supports other themes, but if it does that's something to be aware of.
It does. At the bottom of every page, underneath the "Share" options and underneath the listed forum and subforum we're currently in, a little paintbrush sits next to the words Shades of Blue. The listed Default style skin is a white background. But the actual site's default skin, "Shades of Blue" is the blue and grey. Those are the only two.
 

Trussed Maiden

Planetoid
Joined
Oct 5, 2020
I saw another thread recently that really strains the eyes; in comparison this one's use of darker shades isn't too bad, although as a general rule I caution against it. Sensitive eyes are real, although mine are quite sensitive to contrasts and I don't have a problem with it. But it might be worth dropping or reducing that flair, especially if it wouldn't be reflected in the text itself.

Embedding the text into a spoiler instead of linking out is a good idea. The fewer third parties the better, I think.

As far as structure, expressing intent, and so on - I think you sell your goals quite well, and if the people you do find on average seem to 'get it' (ie, not approach you with irrelevent things or no's you would probably want to bake into the thread), I'd say you are pretty optimal. Maybe it could be better, but to be honest, I find it honest and authentic. For my priorities, that's plenty.
 
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