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Leaving Conversations

Seranda

Seranda

Fighting Evil by Moonlight 🌕
Joined
Jan 20, 2013
Location
Aterno City
I've been doing this a long time now, and leaving conversations is a great feature. However, I have noticed that the rate at which people leave conversations without resolving an issue is rather staggering. We disagree about something in a RP we talk about it in OOC, you leave the conversation? Why? Let's fix this or tell each other that we have reached an impasse. Why does this happen so frequently and why are people so afraid of just trying to fix issues?

The best are the ones that ask you to resend the conversation after they've blown off heat and do want to work something out. It's one of the rudest things I've seen on here. Not quite as bad as ghosting, but still pretty bad.
 
Seranda said:
The best are the ones that ask you to resend the conversation after they've blown off heat and do want to work something out. It's one of the rudest things I've seen on here. Not quite as bad as ghosting, but still pretty bad.
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Lol, especially since they can retrieve the conversation themselves. You can go into the Ignored/Left conversation filter, select the message, and return it to your inbox.

Anyway, agreed that this is a rude way to interact with someone. Especially asking to resend the convo or wanting to reenter it after the fact. I don't know why but there's a big part of me that feels like you should commit to it if you're going to block someone from being able to reply. Nope. We're done. Heaven forbid they reenter the conversation to send a reply and end up doing it again.

Very rarely do I leave a conversation and select "ignore replies". I leave a lot of conversations though, after they're finished, to keep the inbox clear and orderly. I can't imagine leaving a conversation from someone I'm writing with or talking rp with without there being a clear parting ways.

One of the questions I see come up in chat or asked in the question forum often is "what does it mean when someone has a strikethrough their name in a message?" So, I doubt you're alone in your experience of people just up and ignoring the convo without explanation.
 
Well like all things around here from when people ghost and don't resolve to at least say they are done with the conversation. It probably mostly comes down to confrontation, I do notice a lot of people here just can't handle it and rather just stop replying or not replying then bother to say I don't want to talk about this anymore. It is unfortunate but it is the way of writing online, that you can just ignore someone you don't want to deal with anymore.

While I don't do that, and I always make it pretty obvious that I am done with the conversation or if I am going to plain out block you. Sometimes and this is from my experience is, especially when it comes to an issue with a story and wanting to end it. Some, not all but some can get pretty pushy about fixing it so you can go on. And if that is what might be happening to some of these people, I don't blame them at all for just cutting it off. But for me I don't, I always give someone a chance to back off and if they don't and they come back at me I will block them.

So really there are so many reasons for this to happen, and it really sucks when it does but sometimes especially if people are putting you on Ignore. And I am not saying this to anyone specific, or pointing fingers or saying this is what happened to cause it. But sometimes you might want to consider and look back at how you handled things, and if this is an ongoing issue for you maybe tweak how you are handling stuff going forward.

I will also leave a lot of conversations without saying anything because we start get a few posts out then....nothing for weeks. The stories are not important enough for me to plead with the other person to continue or PM them to see what is going on. So I just leave them, it is still open for them to come back to me and say hey sorry about being gone but would you like to continue which I would have to figure out if I want to at that point. But if I don't hear anything for weeks from you, I am just going to cut my loss on most of them. There are a few which I will poke to see if everything is ok but at that point we have an understanding and I care enough about the story that I don't want to lose it if I don't have to.

So someone just leaving a PM isn't automatically them not wanting to write anymore, especially if for some reason you haven't been able to reply for sometime. It is just them clearing out things because they figured you just got to busy or don't want to write anymore.
 
As a newbie, I wasn't aware there was a connotation around 'leaving'. I was doing that obsessive/compulsively just to keep my mailbox clean. To those few conversations I 'left' - sorry, nothing personal! In my defense 1) I am new and 2) I didn't block any of you!

~
 
Island Gwen said:
As a newbie, I wasn't aware there was a connotation around 'leaving'. I was doing that obsessive/compulsively just to keep my mailbox clean. To those few conversations I 'left' - sorry, nothing personal! In my defense 1) I am new and 2) I didn't block any of you!

~
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I don't think anyone is saying there is something wrong with leaving a conversation. It is the abrupt "leaving and ignoring further replies"(which essentially blocks that conversation from being replied to) in the middle of trying to work through the rp or discuss any issues.

You can feel free to leave conversations if those conversations are done or no longer active. But if someone is like, "Hey, I'm having trouble with something in the rp, can we talk about it?" and you just leave and ignore further replies, it's just not very polite, that's all.
 
To be honest, I find the forum’s ‘blocking’ feature a bit confusing. Before the update, the big one, it was simpler. I only leave conversations when I ignore someone, since that’s kind of necessary to properly block someone. But that’s quite rare for me, putting people on ignore.

My partner leaving the conversation, I believe I encountered this only one or two times. There are some exceptions but I take it as “I don’t want to talk with you anymore.” If that’s the case, why should I, right? So, I ignore people who do that.
 
I have done so, leaving conversations after spending a while without a response. It is kinda like this.

I am interested in certain RT so I message about it. Perhaps ask if the person might accept doubling if it doesn't quite scratch my itch.

If the person doesn't reply (people are in their right to turn down others) after certain amount of time. I will just leave the conversation, specially since I said "hey, if you don't wanna rp with me just turn me down. Even if it is in a cold way".

Hear nothing, neither yes or no so I leave *shrugs*

Nothing personal, but I am not going to let that message sit there if not in use

Now, if it is about fixing something already planning the roleplay or into the roleplay and leaving out of the blue? Yeah, that's rude.
 
I have developed a rather thick skin in regards to dealing with people on the internet. It really doesn't bother me or offend me at all that some people do this, nor does it surprise me. In a lot of ways, I actually get it, what else is there to say if they aren't happy with something or have decided they don't want to RP with you?

It's no different to communication in person. We don't always get to find out why someone is upset with us let alone get to resolve issues. You just have to deal with it.
 
How is
LifeInterrupted said:
I have developed a rather thick skin in regards to dealing with people on the internet. It really doesn't bother me or offend me at all that some people do this, nor does it surprise me. In a lot of ways, I actually get it, what else is there to say if they aren't happy with something or have decided they don't want to RP with you?

It's no different to communication in person. We don't always get to find out why someone is upset with us let alone get to resolve issues. You just have to deal with it.
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a banned person online?
 
At this point I really never try to leave conversations. Sometimes I like to look back at what I’ve done with that person perhaps years ago. I know people develop but if things go sour and I for some reason don’t ignore that person, I can get a feel for how things ended. Or if they ghosted me.
 
Quite understandable. If things go very sour and my partner was petty I sure as hell will hit ignore and block. If it is just parting ways, leaving the conversation is understandable. But I can also understand why you would want to go back to a story or PM and read it again
 
I kinda leave a lot of things, though rarely do I leave without leaving it open for replies if someone wants to come back to it. I just have the urge to have a clean inbox because sometimes you feel like it'd look better if you only had what you needed.
 
I leave conversations when the plotting reach a standstill (this doesn’t include when their life spirits them away with its constant demands), or when we agree that a story or we find that we’re incompatible.

Also, it is best to leave a conversation rather than persist. While I love to work things out with any potential partner, I tend to be wary of over-stepping boundaries when said partner didn’t show any enthusiasm towards extending our ongoing exchange. Sometimes its best to just give them space.

Though picking up an old conversation is not far fetched, assuming the partner found the enthusiasm for it.
 
I do agree that leaving an active conversation without trying to resolve the problems, or even saying "not interested" is rude, but only if the conversation is actually an active one.

Outside of obvious roleplay ending for whatever reason I tend to leave conversations if I haven't heard from the partner for about two months. Of course if I'm informed beforehand I can keep waiting for them for as long as they want really. But since I want to keep my inbox relatively clean and 60-ish days is in my opinion pretty generous time-frame to hear back from someone I just assume they lost their interests at that point and leave. I've pretty much given-up on poking, since all that it manages to do is keep a dying RP on life-support for two or three more answers till it dies again creating a cycle of poking and waiting while prolonging the inevitable.

However I always leave the conversations I leave open for further replies. I'm more often than not open to pick-up something I've started with someone again if they are still interested. I never mean to say "I will never want to talk with you or engage with you again" with my leave. I just don't want to artificially prolong the RP or convo if I get the feeling that they are over, and at the same time I think it's easier for both me and my partner if I just leave in silence and move on. I never burn the bridges for future collaborations and chats intentionally when I go. I'm always open to pick things up again or start something new if my partner wishes so.

I definitely understand that my weird way of operating might seem rude to someone, but I also don't see any sense on leaving inactive convos to rot in my inbox, or to try keep things going when I feel that the play is done for. I've gotten people reviving convos or hitting me back up with a new one after I leave, so I want to believe that most people who want to pick things up again see these as options, and use them.
 
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I don't actively leave conversations, nor do I set conversations to "ignore replies". I just let conversations die and fade away to the bottom of my Inbox. If someone doesn't want to reply, that's their business, and once a person has decided they don't want to reply then no amount of pestering on my part is going to change that.
 
MatchaMochi said:
I definitely understand that my weird way of operating might seem rude to someone, but I also don't see any sense on leaving inactive convos to rot in my inbox, or to try keep things going when I feel that the play is done for. I've gotten people reviving convos or hitting me back up with a new one after I leave, so I want to believe that most people who want to pick things up again see these as options, and use them.
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That's not weird at all. I do that too. I don't think anyone else can see if you've left a conversation unless you leave and "ignore further replies". Because that strikes through your name in the sidebar and blocks the other person from being able to send any more messages in that conversation thread. When you just leave the convo but accept further replies, their ability to reply isn't blocked off because you have "left it open to accept more replies". Thus, you still show up on their end in the sidebar and the bottom reply box is still accessible to them. So, they really have no clue that you left the conversation.
 
I don't really see any use in keeping dead RPs/OOC threads intact, so what I've taken to doing is basically copying & pasting what I could salvage in a Word Doc in case I wanted to read a certain story again, or just left before I didn't get too attached/the RP was probably never going to resume after a rather lengthy hiatus on either side of the partnership that compromised their muse.

I do prefer being told 'No' or that it's over as opposed to having 300 unanswered messages in my inbox, that way I get some sense of closure, but I don't let it get to me. If that doesn't happen though, it's not as big a deal to me unlike it is for others.

Usually I give anywhere from a week to a month for someone whose RT interested to get back at me, send a poke, and wait for an additional week or so if I feel like the plot could work out really well (rare exceptions), but lately I've been way less patient due to my schedule changing and time being limited. Not open to chasing people anymore.
 
Jericho Z. Barrons said:
That's not weird at all. I do that too. I don't think anyone else can see if you've left a conversation unless you leave and "ignore further replies". Because that strikes through your name in the sidebar and blocks the other person from being able to send any more messages in that conversation thread. When you just leave the convo but accept further replies, their ability to reply isn't blocked off because you have "left it open to accept more replies". Thus, you still show up on their end in the sidebar and the bottom reply box is still accessible to them. So, they really have no clue that you left the conversation.
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Didn't know that it doesn't show you leaving the conversation if you leave it open for replies. I somehow always thought that it at least shows in the "participants"-part when you go and view all your conversations. Personally wouldn't mind some indication that shows that the conversation is abandoned by my partner, but I guess the long silence itself is a pretty good indicator of the play and/or OOC being left already.
 
MatchaMochi said:
Didn't know that it doesn't show you leaving the conversation if you leave it open for replies. I somehow always thought that it at least shows in the "participants"-part when you go and view all your conversations. Personally wouldn't mind some indication that shows that the conversation is abandoned by my partner, but I guess the long silence itself is a pretty good indicator of the play and/or OOC being left already.
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If they've left the convo but allowed for further replies (the prompt comes up everytime you choose to leave a conversation, so, they're making a choice to leave it open) then....I dunno, could just be me, but I take that to mean that they're open for more replies to that conversation. XD lol
So, just like how you leave without a word but accept they might message you again in the future, if someone has left the conversation but will accept further replies, they too are still open to communication from you?

The thread topic itself is about those who you're still talking to, still discussing rp with, all of a sudden leaving the conversation and selecting "ignore further replies" blocking off the partner's ability to respond with no prior indication that anything was amiss or that the talks were over. It can be a bit disconcerting to someone who wasn't aware the person was unhappy about something and now has no avenue to inquire why. It's a discussion on the inconsiderate nature of that kind of interaction. Both parties just quietly leaving a conversation but remaining open to further communication is a humorous, albeit passive way to indicate a partnership is over, especially if the communication is that bad that they're both simply waiting for the other to make the first move.
 
Jericho Z. Barrons said:
If they've left the convo but allowed for further replies (the prompt comes up everytime you choose to leave a conversation, so, they're making a choice to leave it open) then....I dunno, could just be me, but I take that to mean that they're open for more replies to that conversation. XD lol
So, just like how you leave without a word but accept they might message you again in the future, if someone has left the conversation but will accept further replies, they too are still open to communication from you?
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That's also very true yeah. Only thought this from my own cynical perspective without realizing that my partner might actually just be doing the same thing as I do lol

Jericho Z. Barrons said:
The thread topic itself is about those who you're still talking to, still discussing rp with, all of a sudden leaving the conversation and selecting "ignore further replies" blocking off the partner's ability to respond with no prior indication that anything was amiss or that the talks were over. It can be a bit disconcerting to someone who wasn't aware the person was unhappy about something and now has no avenue to inquire why. It's a discussion on the inconsiderate nature of that kind of interaction. Both parties just quietly leaving a conversation but remaining open to further communication is a humorous, albeit passive way to indicate a partnership is over, especially if the communication is that bad that they're both simply waiting for the other to make the first move.
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Also agreeing with you on this one as well. Haven't happened to me here yet, but been the victim of just suddenly getting blocked while there wasn't indicators that anything was wrong with me and my partners planning. It sucksed and was pretty disheartening and rude to say the least.

Not gonna lie. The thought of two partners both being open to keep playing, but assuming the other didn't and thus both leaving the conversation and never talking to one another again is pretty funny:
"Well... If you really want to play and chat with me in the future then I guess I'm open for it... But only if YOU want to make the first move next time."

They both think and leave the conversation. Though if both partners are passive about the play and planning then the RP was pretty much doomed from the start in my eyes.
 
ƒeral said:
I personally don't perceive clutter with just having read messages left there. But then again, I also tend to prefer rp'ing in threads.
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For me it's mostly got to do with having to scroll past dead PMs that haven't seen an updates in months. Sometimes as organized as you can be, they just stack and having 20-30 as opposed to 50 can be a pretty noticeable improvement. Also helps from a muse standpoint IMO, seeing successful, thriving storylines as opposed to a literal virtual graveyard can do wonders.
 
Who cares? I don't care if some random person I was plotting with blows a gasket and leaves the convo. I also don't care if someone just leaves when things seem to be going okay. Most of the time my conversations over PM are very short, and anyone I'm exclusively talking to through PMs isn't going to be someone I put much value on. I struggle to consider a real friendship contained solely to this website in an age of unlimited communication options. If someone wants to contain me here, then that tells me they aren't very interested in getting to know me beyond the username: Mitsu. It tells me that they're ashamed or embarrassed by the association they have with me through this website, that they don't trust me, or they aren't comfortable with me as a person. That's their prerogative, and that's perfectly okay with me, but I won't consider that person a friend. Whether it's planning a role-play, actually role-playing, or just a casual chat; I don't value PM conversations very highly. Those people are complete strangers that I don't actually care about on any kind of intimate level.

Besides, I don't think I'm so important that I should act with indignation that someone wants to hit the eject button and not talk to me-- for any reason. Despite what this message may lead some to believe, I don't have that kinda ego.

To that effect, if I don't really care about someone, I don't have any qualms with just leaving the conversation on them. I won't feel like I have the need to do so without a concise "good-bye", but if I feel the need to I will. If I'm not vibing with someone and they're annoying me, then I will just skedaddle. It's a lot better than me giving them a tongue lashing over what I dislike about them and why I think everything they're saying is grossly stupid. If I'm at the point where I'm going to just leave a conversation, then that's likely what my next message will be if I don't just Batman my way out of the convo.

I'm not so important or desirable that people will be weeping for weeks if I leave a conversation on them. They'll stop giving a damn within days if not hours. Sometimes human interaction isn't pleasant, and the quicker we learn to process and move on the better. I have zero issues with treating people in a civil or polite manner, but if they're annoying, frustrating, disgusting, or creeping me out then I will grab my ball and go home. It's not worth the mental energy, and I don't let anyone live rent free in my head.
 
I actually enjoy leaving conversations, especially if I get no reply because it's like...no time lost for me. I always leave it open for them to message me in case they change their mind. I have a whole script I give semi active PMs that haven't replied within a month that gives them the chance to reach out, sort of like a warning. Makes me feel better about leaving cuz hey, I gave you a chance.
 
I just don't. It's no bother having them. But if you get mad I asked you to read my ons/offs, well then... (my experience is that it only happened then)
 
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