Thread Feedback! can someone tell me if my plan, and my characters, are believable?

[Arkwright]

hey guys. can someone take a look at this thread: (in the storytelling section)

... None may challenge The Brotherhood! [A World of Warcraft Story]

Fools! Our cause is righteous! - Edwin VanCleef to his would-be assassins. Plot Beats For This Story: Trigger Warning: Violence and death, unscrupulous characters, cynical abuse. 1. Edwin and the Stonemasons cross the river into Westfall. They are soaked, hungry, and thirsty, and have already...

bluemoonroleplaying.com

so far, this is just a line-by-line plan of what i will write, the actual piece will have more descriptive detail: meanwhile, i'd really appreciate some feedback about the following:

1. Does the plot make sense and flow? is it comprehensible?
2. Are there any points where you think the characters act out of character, or unusual, given what's happened to them up until that point ?
3. Can you suggest anything you'd like to see more of, or know more about? e.g. motivations, the farm, Westfall (the wider location), the gnolls/farmer/daughter, or VanCleef himself?
4. what would you like to see next?

a bit of background for those who dunno about Warcraft: Edwin VanCleef rebuilt the city walls for the capital city after an extended period of war, but the King didn't pay him or the other masons for his services. Edwin started riots, which got the King's wife inadvertently killed, and is now on the run. see more here (it's a very cool and intriguing story about an anti-hero)