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When I turn my back...I always get stabbed

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Planetoid
Joined
Mar 3, 2009
A recent event has caused me to remember all the times I have been stabbed in the back. I don't have friends. I have wanted them and tried to have them but......everytime I make a friend... they stab me in the back. They turn their backs on me and break my trust. I have one person right now...I hope she does not stab me in the back because it will hurt so much more.

Through my short lifetime I have achieved small goals. I have had projects in school that I have always done ALONE. I care about everyone that I meet. I have had my heart broken. Love and friendship have never brought me luck and never has worked out. I always feel alone. When I call someone a friend I dont take it lightly. I put trust in the person and they only stab me in the back.

I trust too much. I give too much. I care too much. But I never try enough. I want friends but all of the time I tried I failed. The failures cause me to hesitate when I have another chance.
 
Re: It hurts to think of the past

*Hugs tightly and holds*

I've never really had a real friend. Any i've got are online. I always thought I had friends but figured out it was most likely out of pity. And the others, I have no idea. They always made fun of me and such at times and made me wonder with things they've said if they were really friends. As far as relationships go, never experienced one.

Hopefully this friend of yours stays a friend. And perhaps if I get to come to this con, we can become friends. It'd mean quite a bit and I am far too nice to stab anyone in the back.
 
A little poem. It does not always rhyme, but it shows how I feel.


Will you turn your back on me
Stab me like the ones before
Break the trust you worked to earn
Like everyone I chose
Will you smile like in the past and be my closest friend
Will you choose to be an enemy
That would make me sad
Is my trust so easy to break
Is my trust not worth your time
Is my trust so easy to dismiss
That you would choose to turn away
Would you prove the past so true
Would you show that like stated before I dont have no friends
I chose to trust
The fault is mine
But do you care none for how I feel
Is it that easy to dismiss the friendship I thought I deserved
Really is it so hard
For me to make a friend that you would do this to me
Is this really the end
 
It takes allot to earn it to begin with. It takes time and allot of conversations. I have an ex-friend whom I trusted straight of the back. Lets just say that, that Nilt lacks the intelligence of a deku nut.
 
I'm not sure why. But people seem to feel trusting around me and I get told a lot of things they'd never tell anyone else. Even if i've just started talking to the person. And gladly, most of them are still friends. The others just slowly disappeared off the net.
 
but....but....
*stammer*
Deku nuts are awsome.....they cant be used as a bad thing.....

T_T

And the internet provides a place to meet lots of people....as with all of us...just read our posts and you get a pretty decent idea of who we all are....it sucks that you have gotten the short end of the stick a lot but if you keep trying sooner or later you'll meet some awsome people...happened to me.
 
Aye, indeed it is very sharp. But I am sure you will find someone that just pushes past the pain. And if not, then you'll get plenty of friends when you heal. I always have people disappearing on messengers. Not quite the same as real life, especially if they don't do anything but disappear. It still hurts some though. And it happens constantly.
 
I'm just too giving I guess. I have some old friends from when I used to live in florida. I have been in contact with them recently. They never turned their backs on me even after I did on them. I have always thought of myself as that annoying girl in class. I think back to florida and I remember EVERYONE in school knew my name. Well just about. When I was little I had tons of friends. Even though I was teased allot I got over that. Im sure I will get over this too. What has happened is in the past and each step I take helps me get closer to the true me. The backstabbing helped me to learn caution. I now know it helped to make me, me.

Its hard to earn the power friendship gets, but it is so easy to lose.
These short words are oh so true. Earning friendship gives you power, but if you turn your back you lose it all in a flash.
 
Indeed that is very true. Everything you work on in the friendship goes down so fast if things go wrong.

Where in Florida was you? ^^
 
It was seven plus years ago. We lived in Homosassa Fl... it was a small area. I lived on a street with no kids.
 
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