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Squirecus Maximus
Freedom Lady
- Joined
- Jun 28, 2020
- Location
- Gacha Hell
Welcome, valued customer, to my Euphoriam Emporium! A land of delectable delights, wondrous wares, and pseudo-philosophical pontification, all at your fingertips!
Here, there’s a little something for every...well, okay, maybe not everyone...y’know, I’m actually not sure how many people are even interested in the products I have on offer. Maybe I should’ve done some consumer surveys first. Yeah, that probably would’ve been smart.
...Huh? While we’re off-topic, you wanted to mention that “euphoriam” isn’t actually a word?
...
Please, right this way to the showroom!
Before we begin, let us review the store’s ground rules!
Feast your eyes upon our wonderful offerings, conveniently organized in descending order of my enjoyment! Just because they’re what we have on offer doesn’t mean they’re all we sell; it’s the Euphoriam Emporium’s job to ensure every customer has a pleasant experience, after all!
...What’s that? You think a good business bases their stock off supply and demand rather than the owner’s whims?
...
Behold!
-Romance (I’ve been known to get pretty sappy with it on occasion)
-Pregnancy and pregnancy-related content (impregnation, breeding, etc.)
-Loose, gaping, altogether-well-developed holes
-Exhibitionism (and total nudity in general)
-Footplay (a lot of the time, but not always)
-Sizable endowments (especially if they’re very sizable)
-Lactation
-Tomboys
-Crossdressing females
-Combat (actual combat, but bonus if it’s sexy)
-Incest
-Humiliation (carefully)
-Genderbent male characters
-Drawn references
-Consensual hand-holding (I’m ashamed to admit this one, but it needs to be put out there, for transparency’s sake)
There aren’t many things we go out of our way to avoid, but here’s our current blacklist!
-Scat
-Rape
-Really dark themes (didn’t used to be an issue, but after Emergence Metamorphosis, I don’t have the stomach for it anymore)
-Characters under 18
I might shift the store’s offerings around, both in-stock and stock-avoidant, so feel free to keep an eye on things! Savvy shoppers get the best deals!
Say, you’re looking mighty curious about who’s keeping us afloat! I don’t tell everyone about this, but the Euphoriam Emporium actually enjoys the support of a select number of character archetypes! Feel free to let me know if you’re interested in knowing more, or even getting into contact with any of them. Ol’ Maxi’ll give you the hookup!
Thanks again for reading through this mess, and remember, no refunds!
Here, there’s a little something for every...well, okay, maybe not everyone...y’know, I’m actually not sure how many people are even interested in the products I have on offer. Maybe I should’ve done some consumer surveys first. Yeah, that probably would’ve been smart.
...Huh? While we’re off-topic, you wanted to mention that “euphoriam” isn’t actually a word?
...
Please, right this way to the showroom!
Before we begin, let us review the store’s ground rules!
- As far as gender preferences go, I’ll almost always play female/futa! I generally prefer going up against the same, but if you get lucky, you might catch me willing to play opposite someone without boobs! I, uh...wouldn’t really count on it, though. Sometimes I can make plot concessions, but I’m not into guys at all.
- I’m pretty subby by nature, but I think I’m closer to a switch overall! I think. I mean, I’m not quite sure myself. I’m a lot more comfortable as a sub and I feel like I churn out much better content that way, but I certainly don’t want to do it all the time! What do they call that? Indecisiveness?
- I prefer RPing with OCs, since playing canons makes me really anxious about whether or not I’m doing the character justice. That said, I’m not entirely opposed to the idea! Just, uh...don’t go too hard on me if I can’t quite manage a one-to-one recreation, yeah?
- I tend to enjoy long-term RPs with a healthy mix of story and smut! Or even...both at the same time!?
- Fair warning, I have severe social anxiety; in a perfect world, that wouldn’t be especially noticeable on your end, but sometimes it can be a little hard to control. All I ask is that you keep things chill, and let me know if you’re not really feeling it!
- Uh...I don’t think there’s anything else? Make sure to remove this from the actual document, I don’t want people thinking I’m padding this out.
Items the Euphoriam Emporium stocks!
Feast your eyes upon our wonderful offerings, conveniently organized in descending order of my enjoyment! Just because they’re what we have on offer doesn’t mean they’re all we sell; it’s the Euphoriam Emporium’s job to ensure every customer has a pleasant experience, after all!
...What’s that? You think a good business bases their stock off supply and demand rather than the owner’s whims?
...
Behold!
-Romance (I’ve been known to get pretty sappy with it on occasion)
-Pregnancy and pregnancy-related content (impregnation, breeding, etc.)
-Loose, gaping, altogether-well-developed holes
-Exhibitionism (and total nudity in general)
-Footplay (a lot of the time, but not always)
-Sizable endowments (especially if they’re very sizable)
-Lactation
-Tomboys
-Crossdressing females
-Combat (actual combat, but bonus if it’s sexy)
-Incest
-Humiliation (carefully)
-Genderbent male characters
-Drawn references
-Consensual hand-holding (I’m ashamed to admit this one, but it needs to be put out there, for transparency’s sake)
Items the Euphoriam Emporium doesn’t stock!
There aren’t many things we go out of our way to avoid, but here’s our current blacklist!
-Scat
-Rape
-Really dark themes (didn’t used to be an issue, but after Emergence Metamorphosis, I don’t have the stomach for it anymore)
-Characters under 18
I might shift the store’s offerings around, both in-stock and stock-avoidant, so feel free to keep an eye on things! Savvy shoppers get the best deals!
Our current sponsors!
Say, you’re looking mighty curious about who’s keeping us afloat! I don’t tell everyone about this, but the Euphoriam Emporium actually enjoys the support of a select number of character archetypes! Feel free to let me know if you’re interested in knowing more, or even getting into contact with any of them. Ol’ Maxi’ll give you the hookup!
The vulgar, standoffish punk, desperate to push everyone away...
The coldly calculating mech pilot, hungering for something more than glory...
The noble knight, eager to uphold justice, protect the innocent, and serve to the best of her ability...
The vengeful wanderer, desperately seeking closure to a decade-old grudge at the cost of her humanity...
The eternal swordsman, who rises from the ashes no matter how many times she’s burnt to cinders...
Now, their circumstances are somewhat...fluid, and they’re far from our only supporters! If you have someone else in mind, or would rather see who else you can find, feel free to say so! Rather than proposals truly set in stone, these are more intended as a base to build off of! (That said, I do have more for each of these characters than single sentence concepts, so don’t hesitate to ask if any somehow catch your eye!) The coldly calculating mech pilot, hungering for something more than glory...
The noble knight, eager to uphold justice, protect the innocent, and serve to the best of her ability...
The vengeful wanderer, desperately seeking closure to a decade-old grudge at the cost of her humanity...
The eternal swordsman, who rises from the ashes no matter how many times she’s burnt to cinders...
Wrapping up the tour!
If you’ve read this far, thank you for indulging this thread’s obtuse execution! I dunno why I decided to go with something like this, especially since it’s probably too gimmicky to be worth the effort. But, inhibitions aside, I appreciate your attention! I’d like to close off by mentioning the fandoms I have experience with that I’d be open to potentially RPing around!
Fate/Grand Order (and Extra/Extella)
Granblue Fantasy (sort of)
These are fandoms that I believe I know well enough to reasonably RP characters from, but as I said waaaay above, don’t judge me too harshly on my accuracy!
Granblue Fantasy (sort of)
These are fandoms that I believe I know well enough to reasonably RP characters from, but as I said waaaay above, don’t judge me too harshly on my accuracy!
Danganronpa
Mobile Suit Gundam (preferably UC, or maybe Build Fighters)
Persona 3, 4, and 5
Pokemon
Super Robot Wars OG
Cytus II
These are fandoms I’m a bit iffy on RPing for one reason or another, but ones I’d still love to play out!
Mobile Suit Gundam (preferably UC, or maybe Build Fighters)
Persona 3, 4, and 5
Pokemon
Super Robot Wars OG
Cytus II
These are fandoms I’m a bit iffy on RPing for one reason or another, but ones I’d still love to play out!
Thanks again for reading through this mess, and remember, no refunds!
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