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Canonfan
Star
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2020
Welp. If I were to vent anywhere, this is probably where I'm going to vent. *Ahem.* I've spent most of my life feeling like everything I do just makes things worse, like family getting into a shouting match when I was younger could be my fault. I thought that it was always my fault every time, especially when I woke up in the middle of the night to hear an argument downstairs.. Meanwhile, I never had any childhood friends, and now.. Ho boy. Banned from a chat site I used for years, my family is slowly and painfully tearing itself apart, I still don't have a job, and my IRL friends who have all had lives better than my own, trust me I checked.. Have basically said I should quote: Get my life sorted out and provide them with proof, or they won't talk to me.
On top of all of this, I was conceived a few months after my mother lost a pair of twins, and I can't help but think; why did I have to be born? I'm sorry if this is off putting to anyone that reads this, I just NEED to put this into words somewhere. I'm not looking for pity, I'm not looking to get a sympathetic look from a relative, or have my woes treated like some excuse for attention. (Blame my IRL friends for that last one.) I just want someone to UNDERSTAND.
On top of all of this, I was conceived a few months after my mother lost a pair of twins, and I can't help but think; why did I have to be born? I'm sorry if this is off putting to anyone that reads this, I just NEED to put this into words somewhere. I'm not looking for pity, I'm not looking to get a sympathetic look from a relative, or have my woes treated like some excuse for attention. (Blame my IRL friends for that last one.) I just want someone to UNDERSTAND.