It's frustrating that I don't like abusing women

[Extremeophile]

Hello everyone!

I enjoy writing a variety of different scenes with different themes and genres, and I have a large amount of territory I enjoy working with. There are very few things I do not enjoy writing about or including in my work and I often enjoy extreme things purposefully. But one glaring trend I can't fail to notice is the disparity between scenes which include even consensual abuse towards women to me. It is especially interesting considering that I very much enjoy scenes where men are abused, even when those men are submissive or bottoms or playing a feminine role. It seems to be perfectly fine to flay any flavor of male from macho man to girly boy. I suppose I don't mind the occasional good slap, I'm not squeamish, in fact if can be very hot when a woman can take something like that. It's the tying someone up and keeping them helpless while I torture them thing that just... doesn't

What is frustrating about this is it feels like overwhelmingly what I am approached for from women are these exact kinds of roles. Bondage, punishment, and heavy domination seem to be very popular among women role players I have noticed. I want to be able to do these types of roles because it would open up a lot of opportunities, but something about them feels cringy to me on a fundamental level. I can certainly play strong and dominant characters, typically handsome ones, but I don't like role playing cruel or sadistic characters when the victims will be helpless women. I don't like the idea of preying upon them, or causing them anguish. I can enjoy corruption type scenes, but that is only because the women in them are happy and enjoying themselves! I don't even like to play impregnation scenes with single women who I have no intention of seeing again, leaving them with the burden of responsibility. Yet this is most of what I see requested. It sometimes makes me feel like my interests are not sexy or interesting to their intended audience.

It seems like such a strange line to draw, I would love to know what it is about women that makes torturing them seem unappealing to me. I am always looking for people willing to play victims in horror type scenes of all kinds, or to roleplay mean characters against males who I am playing to be abused as victims. Even on those rare occasions where I play female characters myself I don't like playing them as victims. All of my female characters range from slutty to extremely dominant, and playing one who is overly submissive is a dead zone for me. It doesn't feel revolting, or rage inducing... It feels dull, almost like watching a stereotype or cliche that is played out. Helpless men I find interesting, helpless women I do not.

 

[ElaineSubRP]

As you can tell from my name, I’m a submissive. However, I honestly don’t have much of an interest in bondage. The reason for this is because I find it to be quite debilitating when I role play. I can’t make any big, surprising moves, or even add something that I perceive to be sexy and unexpected.

I typically enjoy playing emotionally desperate, needy women against aloof men who don’t give a care in the world about the woman. I find this adds more depth rather than the whole “yes, sir” thing the whole play. With that said, I am inclined to be turned on by abusive behaviour, such as verbal and physical humiliation. Usually, I can tell if my partner is into this or not.

Please, do not push yourself to like something that seems not to be in your nature. Most women have some kind of fantasy revolving around a mean, sadistic man (myself included), but that does not necessarily mean that most men were designed to fit that role.

 

[PhoenixRising82]

I am definitely not most women. I don’t find abuse sexy or interesting in any shape or form. The occasional slap, sure but my girls would always “fight” back, be it a right good tongue lashing in return for laying hands on her or some physical repercussions returned, a slap of her own, a push or depending on how much of a spitfire my girl is, she’d deck him. (Unless of course I were intentionally playing in a true and genuine Dom/sub relationship....which I don’t because I have yet to find someone that I would feel comfortable doing so with.)

Non-con as a whole just isn’t my forte. Dub-con....given the right partner and occasion, maybe but it’s always a touch and go situation.

And bless you on the impregnating stance. Seriously, I don’t understand what some people see in that, personally. It’s not fun to go through.

At any rate, it is not a strange line to draw, not in the least.

 

[Extremeophile]

Thank you both for your support! I am very used to people telling me that there are no trends in what people like which always feels a little like gas-lighting or a complete disconnect with reality. All too often we like to say things like "Your problems or feelings aren't valid". Both of your responses acknowledged that there are a lot of people out there with interests I can't cater to and it made me feel like I was being listened to.