Slightly more innocent thoughts

[missnotsoinnocent]

Saturday 28th March 2020

Hello Bluemoon

So the world is a little crazy at the moment... I sadly had symptoms of the virus back on the 16th of March, so I'm a week longer than anyone else into quarantine in the UK. Mostly it's fine. I'm discovering new hobbies and giving my house the deep clean it deserves. However as someone who has depression and anxiety... it's not helpful. I have only recently found the strength to venture outside on my own after an incident that happened in the later months of last year. Now I'm being forced to stay inside. Not great for my progress.

Another downside... I'm separated from my partner. We're a very new relationship and while I have no doubt we will easily cope with this obstacle, it's not an idea situation to be in so early on in our relationship. It get's harder every day and I'm just glad that I do have a friend to rely on in these dark times. If I lived alone... I don't know how well I would be doing right now.

However I am here and right now there is no more on my mind, so until tomorrow dear ones.

A x

 

[missnotsoinnocent]

Tuesday 31st March 2020

Hello again

So today I have done a lot of drawing and I am finding that it is a good way to distract me and help me unwind. The eventual hope is to keep doing it until I am able to draw my own face claims and hopefully at some point, others as well.

We did a shop today, and finally got some of that magical item we've all been going mad for, toilet paper. However I can say things were starting to look desperate and currently we are able to get by with fortnightly shops with a smaller weekly one in for good measure. Planning on doing some baking at some point in the week in order to keep myself occupied, I'm discovering a creative streak I hadn't let blossom.

Missing being sociable and I miss seeing my friends. I especially miss my weekly trips to our local board game cafe. Instead our group has taken to online gaming with one another once a week

A x

 

[missnotsoinnocent]

Monday 6th April

Hello again friends

I'm sorry I've been gone, had a very low few days and theres no point me writing when I'm in that head space. However I seem to have turned a corner... for now.

I always sympathized with people who had a mental illness but now I am experiencing it myself I realise even then how wrong I was. How little I realised it effected everything you do.

For me it's the sleepiness, the difficulty to want to get up in the morning. This is what I find the hardest. I used to be so full of energy and now it feels like a huge effort to do the most basic of things.

I used to be here under a different name things went downhill then. There were those I met that supported and loved me regardless and despite my long departure still do. So I consider these people lofe long friends and I hope they do too.

It's strange how you can so easily discover people's true nature. When you do its amazing to watch them lie. To try and turn others against you. This has happened both here and in my real life.

I give my heart to easily. I've always been the same. Now I'm far better at keeping my distance until I'm sure. I dont ignore the red flags. I recently forgave two people who betrayed me. One replied, the other read it and ignored. To me it shows they know they did wrong and can't face it.

I'll talk about this particular betrayal another time.

For now, stay safe and care for those that are in your life. Appreciate them and also see the good they give you. Dont be afraid to be loved