How do you handle non-activity?

[RestlessPanda]

If this is not a good topic please delete. I'm not complaining, I'm geniunely curious how others handle this.

As someone who suffers from mild paranoia and general anxiety, I overthink things a LOT. And while I do RP to relax, there are times I don't really know if someone has lost interest, life got in the way, or they just plain forgot.

When it comes to RPs, unless specifically stated, I tend to poke someone if in 3 days they haven't responded, and poke at 7 days to see if they are even interested anymore. But is this a good idea? I get it, people have lives, and I know I"m not the most interesting writer on the internet but... I can't help but wonder.

After day 1. After we establish the RP and we move forward, it typically dies after that. And I can't understand why. And I don't want to be that nagging desperate person who is constantly begging for someone to post, but after 5 days of non activity, I kinda feel left out in the cold.

I've had some amazing partners and they've told me when life gets in the way, or when they will only be able to post every now and again. And I respect that. But when it goes from back and forth RP to the well running dry... How do you handle that?

 

[Xanaphia]

Personally, when my rps are slow, I work on solo writing projects. Its a great way to improve my writing skill, and keep my muse at least partially satisfied. Otherwise I think being upfront about your expectations is your best bet.

I'd say 75% of the time, someone ghosting you is about them. Either their real life got busy, or they lost the drive to continue the story. I would really try not to take it so personally when it happens.

 

[skyfetcher]

I think poking is key. Most of the time people, myself included, find it rather difficult to articulate what's up until actually asked what's up. Get the scoop, and if it's positive, have patience; if they're active and give nothing or the appropriate contrary response, it's probably time to move on, all dependent on the activity schedule you've at least informally agreed on in the first place.

 

[obieblu]

I assume they've ghosted me, and like 50% of the time, I'm pleasantly surprised that they didn't. I spare 20 seconds of my time to let someone know I'm unexpectedly on pause, and if someone else can't keep our agreement to do that, I'm not going to saturate myself in the negativity of fretting about it. I'm forgiving if they come back and apologize, but most repeat, so I don't re-invest heavily.

Also being on 4 forums and some discord groups thins out the void left by someone disappearing. I go as the wind of engagement directs me. All my partners on here disappeared, only one 1 with notice. So, I'm very busy somewhere else now until I get dinged on here.

The key is not to very get too invested in one location (unless you're into random chat friends). Keep you're eggs scattered around.

 

[Dirty Fingers]

I've had so many RP's dropped over the years that I start them now with the expectation that they will be dropped! In fact just the other week I started one which was the other person's idea and we played consistently for a few hours and then they never responded again.

I've also written many RP starters which never got responded to at all.

I guess it has made me very particular and fussy about who I RP with and I don't think I am the only one. It becomes a vicious cycle in this hobby where you then get newbies complaining that no one responds to their messages or request threads. It is usually because they are failing to engage or not presenting themselves well in a RT.

Overall if I don't get a response within 3 days I assume the RP is dropped. I never bug people with follow up messages as I hate that myself.

 

[WaveVelour]

I’m sure this happens to all of the players. Ghosting is a common thing. You shouldn’t overthink it. Your partner could simply forget to reply, not find the RP interesting anymore or most commonly held back by RL concerns. But if I may, I think 3 days is too soon to poke someone, unless you agreed to share daily posts beforehand.

Hmm, how do I handle inactive RPs? I kinda don’t. There isn’t really much you can do about these =) I don’t give my partners a poke. But after a certain period of inactivity, I consider the RP dead. And search for new partners. If I get a reply by then for a RP I thought to be over, I don’t respond, since I most likely wouldn’t be remembering what I was doing anyway.

 

[Lekhika]

It happens. It’s part of the hobby and we learn to deal with it. Sometimes I try to figure out why a story didn’t go to completion and then make sure I don’t get into something like that again. Otherwise I just look for other partners.

Having a few ongoing rps helps where if ones busy or gone for a while, the others help you keep writing. Sometimes solo projects fill the gap. I know people have ghosted on me, I have missed responding to some, it happens when stuff gets crazy in life. A gentle poke without being rude, helps. If that goes ignored, then I tend to close that rp and move on or re use the character idea in another plot.

 

[vJack]

It always sucks when an RP thread you're really into gets dropped! I usually wait 5 days before sending a message, and if I don't get anything after that, I just assumed they've ghosted.

Although I have gotten people who come back literally months later with, "Sorry work got busy, can we pick up again?" although, even in those cases, they still don't last long.

 

[Degusaurusrex]

I tend to set expectations during the plotting stage. Even just a 'Hey, I'm the type of person who prefers responses within 1-4 days, if you're going to need longer a heads up would be appreciated.' I can be quite an anxious person as well, so I make these things clear from the start. If I don't hear for a week or more, I'll send a poke checking in, making sure the partner is alright. Their life / health comes before the story. Generally speaking though, I don't bother poking more than once unless it's something I'm seriously invested in, or I'm friends with the partner and am concerned. Sometimes people really do just forget to reply.

 

[ThatOneOtherFox]

If this is not a good topic please delete. I'm not complaining, I'm geniunely curious how others handle this.

As someone who suffers from mild paranoia and general anxiety, I overthink things a LOT. And while I do RP to relax, there are times I don't really know if someone has lost interest, life got in the way, or they just plain forgot.

When it comes to RPs, unless specifically stated, I tend to poke someone if in 3 days they haven't responded, and poke at 7 days to see if they are even interested anymore. But is this a good idea? I get it, people have lives, and I know I"m not the most interesting writer on the internet but... I can't help but wonder.

After day 1. After we establish the RP and we move forward, it typically dies after that. And I can't understand why. And I don't want to be that nagging desperate person who is constantly begging for someone to post, but after 5 days of non activity, I kinda feel left out in the cold.

I've had some amazing partners and they've told me when life gets in the way, or when they will only be able to post every now and again. And I respect that. But when it goes from back and forth RP to the well running dry... How do you handle that?

I do what you do, but usually I end it around a month of the silent treatment.

 

[Lucydoll]

I actually don't typically notice unless the rp is going really well. I respect people's personal lives, and there are plenty of proverbial fish in the proverbial sea.