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The Hero Becomes Me

Hero

Hero For Everyday
Joined
Jan 13, 2009
Location
Space
I am Hero, it's my web handle and it's also what my friends call me. Very rarely do I feel myself worthy of the title they've bestowed on me, but I have my moments.​
Today I felt much like tying after a long day on the road. Returning to my home feels lovely as is the catching up I had to do with friends that seem so bored without me kicking their spirits up.

So for my first entry I think I'll do a bit about how I got my nick name.

The original story of my nickname dates back to when I was forteen years of age. At the time I was a lanky tall kid with little muscle or fat, so I was just kind of a bone back then. I filled out a lot in six years ya? At the time my best friend from then had just outed himself publicly and announced his homosexuality in a grand bravado. And truely I mean he actually started smooching his boyfriend in the middle of a crowd of our peers. Needless to say where we live things such as that aren't taken kindly. Conservatives abound and the ritualistic hazing of freshmen was in fact still acceptable at our school.

We were Freshmen at the time and would walk home every day. But slowly into a few weeks of the school years upper classmen continued to hastle my friend. They ridiculed and taunted him, they acted as bullies and imbociles on a daily basis. On the rare occasion they would skulk after us on our walk home and throw insults from afar, but it didn't stay far forever. One day as we were heading home, we took a usual turn and headed down one of the back roads, and these upper classmen jock types had been following us as they randomly tended. But they were quiet until we got out of sight.

It was then that they became active again. They shouted and jeered. Their harassment was more obscene than usual. And it was at that point that one of the larger ones crept up behind us and slammed a rock solidly against the back of his head. It floored my friend. He scrambled to stand again but the jocks would have none of this and kept pushing him back down. I couldn't stand it. I took the moment to make contact with one of them, my fist connected cleanly with his jaw. Now if you recall I wasn't stupdendously imposing at the time, so from there the attention of their cruelty shifted from my friend on to me, their new aggressor. I couldn't put up much of a fight against multiple opponents like that, in fact I'd never been in a fight in my life. But while they were beating me senseless my friend managed to get up and run. When their rage ended and they finally realized what they were doing in the first place my friend was gone and they left.

It took me a while to get up, I was bleeding but thankfully not broken. Bruised and bloodied but I stumbled on home and cleaned myself up before anyone else got home.

And from that day my friend called me Hero. And it became a popular name for me through all the people I knew.

KyleRayner.jpg
 
The Making Of A Hero

A Hero just doesn't decide one day he wants to go out and protect those that need it. I will not deny there are good people in this world, but heroes a created from opportunity and tragedy. They are raised into the people we see in the media, the firemen that saves lives at the risk of their own, the strangers that protect the week, the masked men that save the day, all these people find their motivation somewhere, a greater feel of justice, a great tragedy that spurrs them forwards...

As a Hero I am driven by my own complexities to protect those I care about, and given opportunity to save any life that I find in peril. Today I felt like writing, but no topics would come into my mind save for this...So before I get into my own motivation as a Hero I'd like to outline a few of my exploits, they are few and far between but they make me proud.

In my first entry here I detailed how I got my nickname. That was the first time I acted as the Hero of this story, but it was not the last. I've been known to do a number of things like an every day Hero, I'm always there for my friends, I listen and provide aid when necessary, I give money when my friends need it and I offers hugs constantly. But those aren't usually worth detailing aside from mentioning them as I just did. My one of my more recent exploits involved a stranger.

I was driving myself to dinner to meet with my mom. I was starting to turn from the back roads to the main streets when I saw an older gentleman across the street riding his bicycle. Nothing out of the ordinary till the fellow collapsed onto the side walk. My eyes widened and heart stood still for a moment. Worry began to creep up my spine as I witnessed this. No cars were stopping, no people were walking by. In the middle of the road in a moment of panic I parked my car as close to the curb as I could and hopped out in traffic, I slid over the trunk of my thunder bird and ran as fast as I could over to him. When I arrived he was gasping for air and clutching his left arm. I watched enough television and movies to recognize something bad and I dialed 911 from my cell phone. I wasn't trained to really help him so I did my best to keep him calm. I made bad jokes and told him he'd be ok. The ambulance took a few minutes to arrive despite there being an emergency center not even a mile away from where he collapsed.

The EMS made the scene and carted him off stating he was suffering from a heart attack. That day I saved a man's life just by being there for him and taking time out of my day.

I've always been over protective of my friends and sister. She may be older than me but I am much larger and thus feel the big brother effects. When she broke up with a soldier and he started stalking her I took it upon myself to end this. He camped in his car outside of our house one night...She was terrified and crying half the time, and eventually I went out to the garage and grabbed a shovel, I ignored the bats. I took my shovel and marched out to his car, he was texting someone and didn't see me coming when I took the shovel and tapped the driver's side window. He's a large guy, but when he turned his head and I rear my arms back and thrust foreward spearing the tip of the shovel through his window and lodged it within the glass I could see his eyes widen. When I drew back for another strike he drove off as fast as he could, and sent me a bill for the damages before my sister took him to court for stalking charges.

He hasn't come around since.

And with that said I think it's time I went into the real topic of this journal: why I feel compelled to defend.

I didn't stem my drive from a need to fight for the greater good, I developed it through complexes and tragedy.

At a young age I was present during the not only molestation but rape of my older sister. She was just hitting puberty and we were visiting friends of our parents and they had kids just a little older than us, two boys. They were both poorly behaving and disgusting scum...but I was young and didn't know what was happening, it scared my sister to this day despite therapy and any help my parents tried to give her. Because I was there my father blamed me for what happened and until I got older I never knew why he hated me, but I understand entirely now. I failed as a brother and protector...But that won't happen again. Never again will I let someone I care for be hurt by the viciousness of others, never again will I stand idley by when I could save someone that needs me.

I wear many masks but the only one that matters is the face I put on when I do what must be done.

It's this reason I have a distrust of people, I see wickedness and I see sadness. And I'll always feel like it's my duty to strive against the cruelty of the world, if not to actively helping people then to be a beacon of hope for those that know me or see me.

A mask is what we put on to hide ourselves, mine is what I put on to let myself shine.

KyleRayner.jpg

 
I am afraid.

It's what no Hero should be when it comes to the choices that they make but I am afraid.

I'm not afraid of the path ahead of me, I face it with great spirit and eagerness like I rarely feel anymore.

I am afraid of myself.

I am not dangerous nor morbid, but I am a failure. I constantly belittle my own abilities with pocks of failure and gestures of nothing. I speak loudly and carry nothing.

I fear that I will not push myself to be what I know I can become. I fear that my mind and body will let my spirit down. I fear that I will fail in my endevours.

It keeps me up and night and makes my heart pound more rapidly then I care to admit.

But it's true.​
 
The incedent yesterday was more than just humiliating. My superiors have given me a month and a half to shape up physically or their going to discharge me from the Navy.

That's 45 days to drop another twenty pounds. 45 days to work my endurance to a point it hasn't been in my life.

The possibility of that happening even if I work out every day is slim in such little time. But I have to do it.

And I'm going to do it even if it kills me.

So I'm not sure if you'll be seeing me around as much.

Thanks for the chatter.
 
Behold my works ye mighty and despair.

The Hero becomes me as I become the hero.

In the past three months I've been through a myriad of violence and pain.

I will not say that boot camp was hard, it truly wasn't.
Having petty officers yell at you was demoralizing but laughable at best.

The training was intense but easily managed with the slightest effort of common sense.

I qualified as a sharpshooter. So know that I just won't miss you.

I graduated top ten in my division and laugh heartily at the people that whined and cried.
We had people in my division attempt suicide, we had others discharged for being horrible at life.

I rose above.

I came close to death as my carotid artery bled and bled and I pushed myself harder because of it.
I had three holes within my neck one large as a quarter and nestled into my artery and I bled freely for a week before it completely sealed.
In that week I passed fire fighting training, I managed to do better on my physical readiness test than I ever had, and I made it through the final test of Basic Training as one of the best sailors aboard. The experience was agonizing because of my injury but I grinned broadly and terrified the instructors with just how twisted a grin it was.

After transferring to my new station the wound re-opened and I once again put forth a smile. I was held back from class for some retarded over bookings along with seven other ship mates and now I work in the public affairs office of an army division for on the job training.

I love being behind the lens of a camera, I love interviewing and filming, and I've met more generals and Colonels in the army than I've even seen captains and admirals in the Navy.

My career in the Navy is starting off brightly, and looks like it will be one hell of a trip.
 
I am prone to being a hopeless optimist.

This quality is both wonderful and nightmarish, as it leads me to both joy and dread.

Most days hope makes you believe in the quality of people.

But people are not of quality.

It's in their nature to be painful, as it wouldn't be human to be kind.
 
I feel as if the world enjoys Karmic bitch slaps all around.
 
Recently I was placed in a position of authority within my Navy detachment, hooray for me! I'm excited and I'm falling into my roll quite well as it seems, but I can't help but feel bitter about it because now I'm on Duty during all the delightfully long weekends that happen over the summer, and more specifically the fact that my plans to go to New York and see the fire works on the fourth of July have been dashed against the rocks because of it.

Damn you responsibility. I may try to reason with my superiors as I was already on duty for the longest liberty weekend we'll have this summer, but odds look poor to say the least. Oh well....alas, no bright and shinning city for my eyes.

But! Good news is, I am still quite spectacular and assert myself thusly.
 
Christ somebody beat me with a stick and put me out of my misery.
 
Ha...Ha ha...Ha ha ha ha ha...HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


 
Recently received word that Cancer has defeated my best friend. I did not get to go to the funeral.

I am without a doubt the saddest I've been in a long long time...
 
I'm a globe trotting wonder of the modern world.

I make works that reach people across the planet and my voice sooths the souls of all who listen.

What monster has praise from my command created?

Oh it's Hero darling, you know I light the world on fire.
 

As of January 31st I will not be here. I'm not quitting the site, I'll only be on a government mandated hiatus while I deploy to various parts of the world. So to anyone I'm rping with, I apologize for the lengthy away. And to everyone I chit chat with and do so lurve, I'll see you when I come back.

I do promise to try and avoid bullets, pesky things as they are.
 
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