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pruning roses ;; rose's a/as, thoughts, characters, etc [potentially nsfw; please do not post]

roselie aureate

Meteorite
Joined
Oct 12, 2019
most important thing first.

while it is true that real life gets in the way for me just like with anyone else, there is one major condition i have that can quickly, and without warning, take over my life, and make it very hard for me to post as quickly as i would like.

this condition is called ROSACEA

for those that do not know, rosacea is a skin condition. it can manifest in a few ways, but it manifests for me as dry, red/pink skin on my nose, forehead, cheeks, and in my eyebrows and my hairline. on my best days, it kind of looks like i've just been working out in the wind. on my worst days - well, people don't see me on my worst days.

rosacea is debilitating for me because i already have self-esteem issues. on my best days, i can get by. on my worst days, i feel like a horrible monster.

i don't bother with make-up or trying to hide it, because to me, there's no point. i will live with this condition for the rest of my life, because it's not really high on the list of things to be cured in this day and age.

now, rosacea by itself - well, it is a big deal, for me, but it by itself isn't what gets in the way of my writing. no, what does is when my rosacea decides to crawl up into my eye.

yes, you read that right.

ocular rosacea is what happens when, on occasion, rosacea spreads to the eye. this causes inflammation, blurry vision, leaking, sinus troubles, and a lot of other things i don't really want to go into. essentially, it makes my eyes - well, one of them, anyway - extremely sensitive to just about everything.

that includes the computer screen.

so, if i post in one, or a few threads, and not another - it's not because i'm playing favorites. it's because i literally had the fortitude to grit my teeth and write that much before it got to be too much for me to stand.
if i'm slow in getting back to you - it's not because i'm ghosting you.
if i make odd typos in my post - well, alright, those happen. but it's probably because there's only so much i can do to be able to see the words as well as i need to, and i didn't catch a mistake i normally would.
if i disappear for a day or two, it's probably because i'm in the worst period of my ocular rosacea and i'm miserably sleeping about 12 hours a day, because that's just about the only thing that helps - even the drugs the doctors prescribe me don't help that much.

roleplaying, writing collaboratively with people, is how i get through a lot of my troubles. it's one of my favorite hobbies. so i ask you to be patient during these times. thank you.​
 
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