I want to say how much I have loved being on Blue Moon, both the first time and since I have come back and rediscovered the site. I have had a lot of positive reactions and interactions with the denizens here and have enjoyed my time here. However, I have noticed a lack of patience in some of my RP partners, their inability to wait and to show any understanding with the fact that this isn't life, not actually. Real life often gets in the way and can take someone away from the site for a few days or even a week or more. I have tried to be upfront with as many people as I can when I start a RP because of the fact that my location isn't the best connected in terms of internet/WiFi and my work schedule is not conducive to instantaneous responses all the time. I appreciate that if a story is going on, that they want to be invested in it and in order to write successfully, they need to be in the flow of the story to produce their work. I get that. I just wonder at what point our desire and need for instant gratification supersedes and supplants humane, considerate and thoughtful understanding with other people's situations and that they may want to write, but cannot. I wonder at how often those of you on here deal with the frustration of impatient and inconsiderate partners.
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Responsive Responses and Timeliness
- Thread starter latexwyo
- Start date
The internet presents an environment of anonymity and isolation that fosters a sense of being god of your own bubble and dehumanizing the things that produce text from somewhere outside of that bubble. I get ghosted, flaked on after world-building with no explanation, and put on long pause without communication by others that ask for me not to do those exact things in their own ads. Unfortunately, the only way to avoid rude humans is to avoid humans.
So, with that said, I am explicit in my ad about what manners I expect from others and will reciprocate, as well as my expectations of timeliness. I prefer chat, but have resigned myself to 1 or 2 responses a day is at the high end of I can expect now that online RP has moved onto forums from chats in my long absence. If someone puts in their ad that they reply once or twice a week, I just don't contact them. We're not compatible, and it's not a crime. I'm not my partner's manager, but open and honest communication is the way to prevent conflict and resentment, and I take 'verbal' agreements seriously. Someone says they want to chat RP from 2-4pm weekdays, awesome. When I'm getting one response a day over the long term, they're not keeping up their end of the bargain. Tell me that circumstances changed or whatever else is going on, or I'll just think you tricked me into investing my time into something I don't want. If I know what's going on, at least I can make an informed decision about what I'm doing with my time. I will do the same for you.
Honest, Integrity, Manners. These are not things to be shamed and condemned as I see others doing in response to complaints like yours about general courtesy in partnerships.
I saw in your ad that you're in the military. You've done your part in stating that explicitly. I would appreciate that if we were playing, and if I chose to invest in you, I would be accepting of your absences because I knew it going in. I'm a mature, reasonable person. Telling people is all you can do. If they won't accept it, they're toxic, and you're better off without them.
Best of luck
So, with that said, I am explicit in my ad about what manners I expect from others and will reciprocate, as well as my expectations of timeliness. I prefer chat, but have resigned myself to 1 or 2 responses a day is at the high end of I can expect now that online RP has moved onto forums from chats in my long absence. If someone puts in their ad that they reply once or twice a week, I just don't contact them. We're not compatible, and it's not a crime. I'm not my partner's manager, but open and honest communication is the way to prevent conflict and resentment, and I take 'verbal' agreements seriously. Someone says they want to chat RP from 2-4pm weekdays, awesome. When I'm getting one response a day over the long term, they're not keeping up their end of the bargain. Tell me that circumstances changed or whatever else is going on, or I'll just think you tricked me into investing my time into something I don't want. If I know what's going on, at least I can make an informed decision about what I'm doing with my time. I will do the same for you.
Honest, Integrity, Manners. These are not things to be shamed and condemned as I see others doing in response to complaints like yours about general courtesy in partnerships.
I saw in your ad that you're in the military. You've done your part in stating that explicitly. I would appreciate that if we were playing, and if I chose to invest in you, I would be accepting of your absences because I knew it going in. I'm a mature, reasonable person. Telling people is all you can do. If they won't accept it, they're toxic, and you're better off without them.
Best of luck
skyfetcher
playing dangerous games
- Joined
- Sep 17, 2019
- Location
- A high wooden horse
If you miss the part where I articulate that once a day or two plus occasional delays for more is just a straight up given, we're really not going to get on. Plus the part where I need to get into mindsets to play certain ways, plus a solidly full roleplay book, and plus a number of hobbies, because roleplay is not and will not be the full time usage of my free time. If there's a delay unusual to what I just posted and what I indicated in our OOC discussion, sure, send me a poke. But hounding just tells me we won't work and that your stretch of time is one I could give to someone with a bit more patience. Conversely, if we're still organizing things, I tend to wait about a week before making a check and a few days later dropping if no response, and I give a wider margin when we're still going. Clarity is key.
And just because I'm online at a time I can reply doesn't mean I can offer a post. I have this thing in its own tabs alongside other things. Sometimes I need to word soup just so I can have the want to write out in character. Maybe I'm having a brief motivation delay. There's just a lot of things I sift through even in a roleplay where I produce my average content and it all adds to a particular kind of stress I like to have, but that I have to manage carefully.
All that said, some don't and won't get it, not uncommon, and I either need to remind if it seems benign or part ways if it's at a level indicated in the OP.
And just because I'm online at a time I can reply doesn't mean I can offer a post. I have this thing in its own tabs alongside other things. Sometimes I need to word soup just so I can have the want to write out in character. Maybe I'm having a brief motivation delay. There's just a lot of things I sift through even in a roleplay where I produce my average content and it all adds to a particular kind of stress I like to have, but that I have to manage carefully.
All that said, some don't and won't get it, not uncommon, and I either need to remind if it seems benign or part ways if it's at a level indicated in the OP.
I agree with this. I appreciate honest and open communication. And I dont really let it get me down, but it is a little frustrating when you thought you had established your expectations. Thank you for your insight.
I agree with this. I appreciate honest and open communication. And I dont really let it get me down, but it is a little frustrating when you thought you had established your expectations. Thank you for your insight.
Very true, you are right and I do feel that is how a lot of people are on here because of the flakes and the fakes. I just hate to perpetuate their notions of new users on here when so much of it is out of my hands. But, at the same time, it more annoys me...I am not too upset about it, just annoyed!
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2019
I've had partners "bump" threads even after I have told them I will be late to respond. Had one throw a massive tantrum and have her character dump my character which ended the RP lol.
The other thing I am getting at the moment on another site is a partner just PM'ing me with "Hi!" ummm yeah and, what do you want? Say something!!
On the flip side if someone is consistently taking a week or more to respond to a RP then yeah that can really get in the way of continuity and my interest can wane. Although sometimes I have found having some time apart can reinvigorate the RP and take it places it may not have gone if the posts were back to back.
The other thing I am getting at the moment on another site is a partner just PM'ing me with "Hi!" ummm yeah and, what do you want? Say something!!
On the flip side if someone is consistently taking a week or more to respond to a RP then yeah that can really get in the way of continuity and my interest can wane. Although sometimes I have found having some time apart can reinvigorate the RP and take it places it may not have gone if the posts were back to back.
Time is a catch twenty two. I know it is frustrating and it is no fun for me either because I get caught out of the loop of the story as well and then I have a lot of story to respond to. Understanding and patience is always the key.