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Let me know your opinions and thoughts on Poly/open relationships

XxSpook

XxSpook

Planetoid
Joined
Mar 4, 2013
Location
Somewhere beyond the sea
Bored again so I was curious what people on here think about polyamory and open relationships. I've been trying the open relationship thing for a few months now and am so far enjoying it. I have two primary partners and one just sexual partner. Though I don't think I could stay poly forever.

Tell me things!

Feel free to ask me questions too or dm me if you want to talk more privately. I'm very bored and an open book.
 
I was having an open relationship with my now ex bf for several years. I feel among gay/bi folk it's way less uncommon than among your classic straight people, but it's not like I have statistics for that.

To me romantic love and physical sex was always disconnected. I never quite saw why I should mind my partner letting a kinky itch scratched by someone else if I don't enjoy that certain thing.
But that's all open relationships, polyamory is something that wouldn't work well for me I think. Sure, love isn't a finite resource, but I'd had a hard time getting this deep and emotional intimate with several people at once.
 
Not my thing and personally wouldn’t/couldn’t ever consider it.

I’m a one man kind of woman and I hope and expect to have a one woman kind of man.

Plus, I’m loyal to a fault. Even in simple, platonic friendship relationships. I get heartbroken way too easily, I’ll admit. So....I wouldn’t survive in the world of poly/open anything.
 
Sophor said:
I was having an open relationship with my now ex bf for several years. I feel among gay/bi folk it's way less uncommon than among your classic straight people, but it's not like I have statistics for that.

To me romantic love and physical sex was always disconnected. I never quite saw why I should mind my partner letting a kinky itch scratched by someone else if I don't enjoy that certain thing.
But that's all open relationships, polyamory is something that wouldn't work well for me I think. Sure, love isn't a finite resource, but I'd had a hard time getting this deep and emotional intimate with several people at once.
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I do agree that it seems to be more common on the lgbtq+ community and the BDSM community as well. Wonder why that is? Perhaps because they are more accepting of nontypical lifestyles?

I never thought in my younger years that I would ever be ok with an open relationship. But here I am. Full on polyamory I think would be more difficult though. And I would always be afraid one person was feeling like they weren't getting enough attention or what not. But props to those who can do it for sure. I imagine if done right it would be very fulfilling.
 
PhoenixRising82 said:
Not my thing and personally wouldn’t/couldn’t ever consider it.

I’m a one man kind of woman and I hope and expect to have a one woman kind of man.

Plus, I’m loyal to a fault. Even in simple, platonic friendship relationships. I get heartbroken way too easily, I’ll admit. So....I wouldn’t survive in the world of poly/open anything.
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It definitely isn't for everyone. I didn't think it would ever be something I could want or so until I ended up in my current situation. I don't think I could do it forever though. It's a lot of try and balance and I would eventually want to dedicate myself to one person. I'm a romantic and want that cheesey sappy love life with some kink thrown in.

I don't think loyalty really effects anything though. I am also loyal to a fault and would never cheat or do anything to intentionally hurt someone I care about/am in a relationship with. Though I can see how the heartbreak fear would be a bigger problem with multiple parters. I definitely share that fear, but I'm willing to take the risk for now.
 
I've never had a poly relationship before but I do know a few people who were in a poly relationship (romantic and/or sexual) but it didn't turn out well for them in the end.

For myself, I think I would like to try a romantic poly relationship because I feel like Im capable of caring and loving for more than one partner but of course this also depends if the other people in the relationship can do the same. It's difficult but if you all can learn to love equally, then it's possible for it to work out. ^^
 
For the physical stuff, I'm not utterly opposed, but it doesn't feel right to me if I'm committed romantically. All parties in mutual agreement of the idea would be needed. Romantically it's a straight nope for me, but I guess that's partially because there are so few people in life I'd even share the first steps with that I haven't had the experience to be tested. Guess I can't really say.

Unclaimed as I am though, the former above I have no issue on aside from keeping an eye out for health and stuff.
 
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In theory I suppose it can work with mature individuals who all love each other. In practice I'm too possessive and also do not date men who would be opened to sharing, from what I know.
 
If that is what people want to do than whatever I guess. I think it can work or not depending on the couple involved and probably a great deal of luck just like a monogamous relationship.

It does make me think of one Poly couple I knew though. The wife was telling me all about their set up and how they like to invite their "extras" over for dinner and they all hang out together. She then told me that one of her husbands "extras" left him and she was feeling guilty about it. To me it was obvious, there were just too many people! Not to mention expecting everyone to meet and get to know each other which was probably their real downfall.

For me, personally, that would be kind of odd. I wouldn't be needing or wanting to meet the husband of the (basically) attached woman I am having sex with. I think they over complicated things. Not saying that can't work for others but for this particular couple, it clearly wasn't.
 
Just the thought of it gives me anxiety. I don't feel that people are capable of avoiding favouritism, and I wouldn't be able to stand the thought of being the underachiever in the relationship. Paranoia that I'd be the one cut out and they'd just continue the relationship without me.

Power to the people that make it work, but it would just make me miserable with minimal effort.
 
Taelir said:
Just the thought of it gives me anxiety. I don't feel that people are capable of avoiding favouritism, and I wouldn't be able to stand the thought of being the underachiever in the relationship. Paranoia that I'd be the one cut out and they'd just continue the relationship without me.

Power to the people that make it work, but it would just make me miserable with minimal effort.
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I guess it all depends on how the couple want to work it. But I do agree with you, Poly is about loving multiple people so unless we all hang out together someone might miss out especially if that person(s) isn't in a Poly relationship themselves. The woman I mentioned in my other post who was in a Poly relationship only liked to see men who were also in a Poly or open relationship. I think that was her way to safeguard against someone feeling like they were missing out.

Overall it seems like a hell of a lot of work to me too.
 
Taelir said:
Just the thought of it gives me anxiety. I don't feel that people are capable of avoiding favouritism, and I wouldn't be able to stand the thought of being the underachiever in the relationship. Paranoia that I'd be the one cut out and they'd just continue the relationship without me.

Power to the people that make it work, but it would just make me miserable with minimal effort.
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I guess it all depends on how the couple want to work it. But I do agree with you, Poly is about loving multiple people so unless we all hang out together someone might miss out especially if that person(s) isn't in a Poly relationship themselves. The woman I mentioned in my other post who was in a Poly relationship only liked to see men who were also in a Poly or open relationship. I think that was her way to safeguard against someone feeling like they were missing out.

Overall it seems like a hell of a lot of work to me too.
 
My wife and I love each other but there is special occasions such as my birthday when she will bring home a domme friend of hers along with the woman's slave and give the slave to me to have sex with while our owners have coffee or wine in the next room. Occasions such as those is merely sex with no emotional involvement and isin't unusual for those of us in the BDSM world
 
I like a bit of group fantasy generally (or perhaps some mystery), so I'm pretty good with these that I have seen. But I haven't seen or shared that many unfortunately. I do get pretty involved when I get down to being with anyone, but I think it's a matter of coordinating what people expect (like most everything). With a more regular partner I probably wouldn't want to know everything, but I'd be most concerned that they were staying healthy/safe and I'd probably like them to share something of what sort of fun they were having "over there." That way I'd feel aware of their likes and good times too, even if I wasn't in that particular corner with them. I haven't gotten to do it long-term though, so it's more what I imagine.
 
My Opinion is simple, if it doesn't do any harm to anyone else and you're happy then it's none of my business. And fact is I don't see any harm being done so it falls under none of my business or anyone else's business. Weather I agree with it or not is irrelevant, freedom of choice is a basic human right and it's one I whole heartly support.

but as for weather I'd be willing to try it.....Hmm I'm not sure. Maybe but only with the right people and it'd be a big step so I'd probably go with no.
 
I personally see no problem so long as all parties involved in the relationship are happy with it and no one is getting hurt. It's not my place to judge something I have absolutely no experience in, especially when they're happy with it themselves.

Open relationships wouldn't work for me since I'm incredibly insecure when it comes to romantic and sexual relationships. I'd be constantly afraid that my partner/partners prefer other people over me and it would be one big mess of a thing.
 
I personally think it does work for some people, for me it wouldn't work. I'm just not built that way. However I've known people who are in such relationships and they're happy and healthy. I think that if with the right person you can have a healthy poly/open relationship. I know I can't share my romantic partner in such a way, but I do believe that they need time away from me and with their friends and such because you cannot give them everything they need to be a healthy and happy person.
 
If everyone is on the same page, I don’t see anything wrong with it. In the BDSM lifestyle you have your D/s relationship and you can invite others to join in, maybe a regular thing develops. However, the D/s is still intact, the rest are just for play. The run happens when someone catches real feelings and starts thinking of them on a one to one basis.
 
Communication is everything in any relationship. Polyamory more so since you have to manage everyone's expectations and times. No two Poly relationships are the same so it makes things interesting.
 
It's something I'd love to have, and my girlfriend might even be open to it, but I think it... just really isn't practical.
 
I personally feel that so long as everyone involved is a consenting adult, and the relationships are built on honest communication, all is well.
XxSpook said:
Bored again so I was curious what people on here think about polyamory and open relationships. I've been trying the open relationship thing for a few months now and am so far enjoying it. I have two primary partners and one just sexual partner. Though I don't think I could stay poly forever.

Tell me things!

Feel free to ask me questions too or dm me if you want to talk more privately. I'm very bored and an open book.
Click to expand...
 
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