Mx Female (OR FxF) Welcome to the Bureau

[CasualVelociraptor]

The Bureau Logo

Welcome to orientation, recruit. My name is Elijah Turner, and I've been the Director of The Bureau since 2087. We don't accept general applications, and are very selective about who visits the Tower, let alone gets hired, so since you're here it's because we saw extraordinary intellect, courage, strength, and compassion in you and reached out to you, so consider yourself part of an extraordinary and exclusive club. You likely already know some of our history and activities from what the Federation requires us to disclose to the Parliamentary Assembly and the public, but that's just a small piece of it.

You see, what most people don't know is that since the dawn of history, our world has been subjected to countless supernatural and extraterrestrial threats. Threats such as the Hellish Armada in the year 1000 or the Roswell War of 1947. But we've had a powerful ally; the Tower, a building that has shifted its form and location many times, is larger on the inside than the outside, can communicate its will telepathically with whoever it chooses as its speaker from among three candidates that the President, the Prime Minister, and the Security Council submit (in this case, I was chosen) and has gone by names such as Jericho, the Hanging Gardens, the Temple of Jerusalem, and the Mausoleum of the Qin Emperor. Those it chooses to bestow with superhuman powers have also gone by many names and wielded many objects it has created- the Templars and the Holy Grail, the Royal Guard of Sundiata and his magical balafon, the Illuminati and the All-Seeing Eye. For many thousands of years, we hid in secret so as to protect mankind while it was still in its infancy, until the Tower decided to appear in the middle of New York City in 2020 to allow us to become the Bureau, help stop World War III, turn the United Nations into the Terran Federation, and willingly submit itself to oversight by the Federation government as a result.

I know how this all sounds, and I won't blame you if you choose to walk away, as long as you don't disclose this or anything else classified you may have heard along the way; just remember, the Tower is always listening. And if you're uncomfortable with superpowers and would rather just help the Federation Peacekeeping Force solve ordinary crimes as a non-powered Bureau agent, then ask for General Orientation. But if you've always dreamed of having the power to save the world inside of you, Special Orientation may be for you. Tap the next button on your device to learn more.

*****

Since you've tapped to continue and signed the liability waiver and non-disclosure agreement, here's what you need to know about Special Orientation. Usually passed by less than 1% of those we hire, Special Orientation goes like this. You enter a room with six other people, and you all each place your dominant hand on a Service Weapon, a special gun made of the same shiftite as the rest of the Tower. Then you place the gun against your temple and recite the following Oath:

"I, [Name] do solemnly swear (or affirm) that, if I am enhanced by the strength of the Tower, then I shall never use that strength to do harm to the innocent, that I shall strive every day to seek virtue and knowledge, that I shall oppose myself to all enemies of humanity foreign, domestic, and interdimensional, and that I shall bear true allegiance to justice, liberty, and to my colleagues in the Bureau."

(We also used to have a section where an agent, knight, etc. would forswear all romantic and personal entanglements other than generalized compassion, but even the Tower, a being potentially older than the universe itself, is not omniscient and saw the futility of trying to stop office relationships; now it just asks that any sexual activity be between consenting adults and that there be no blood, gore, scat, or incest involved, but you agreed to that in the waiver and so don't need to disclose it out loud.)

Then you place the gun to your head, you pull the trigger and if you are deemed unworthy, a single shot is fired. Don't worry, you won't die, but you will have your memory erased, be deposited back at home, and think all this was just the result of a bad acid trip. If you are found worthy and the gun doesn't fire, then the Tower will grant the strength you most desire. Depending on the user, some Service Weapons become absorbed into the agent's body and alter and enhance their physical attributes, others become suits of powerful armor, and still others turn into guns, swords, and other weapons that serve as a crucial alternative to our arsenal of human weapons if those prove inadequate.

If that sounds good to you, step right this way.

Welcome to the Bureau.