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Here comes the Fuzz [Goatse and Blue]

B

blueraccoon

Star
Joined
Jan 9, 2009
Sometimes, it didnâ??t pay to overachieve. Actually, it hardly ever did. Socially, at leastâ?¦Sure, having high credentials could get one a better job and salary, but was it worth being the object of abhorrence of your coworkers? Maybe. But did it really warrant to be sent away? It wasnâ??t his fault that the other officers chose not to do their job to their highest potentials. But he wasnâ??t a complainer, of course. Sure, he fought his best to avoid his transfer, but when the brass was so set on sending you away, itâ??s hard to resist. They even through a going away party, how precious. Sergeant James Saint didnâ??t have to graduate top in his class to recognize the glee on every officerâ??s face as they knew that theyâ??d be rid of the â??over achieving twatâ?? in a day. Joy.

The ride there was long and arduous. His personal possessions were few- all of his clothes in a single suitcase- but the constant changings of busses and metros grew to be a bother. But once again, James wasnâ??t a complainer. After all, he had a lovely hotel room to sleep in until his permanent residence was completed. They even would provide him with his own car as a welcoming gift. He doubted it would be anything fancy, but it was much appreciated.

Once he finally arrived at theâ?¦ well, rural was an understatementâ?¦ village, a visit to the pub was very much necessary. Although it was only nine at night, James was tired as hell and a nice, cold drink would be nice. James was greeted by a kind, elderly lady when he stepped out of the final bus- the town probably sent her to wait for him. She showed him to his car and gave him directions to the pub and the hotel- he tried to give her a tip, but she refused.

James threw his belongings into the trunk of the car before stepping inside and turning it on. It wasnâ??t long before he was driving through the streets on the way to get that wonderful, well-anticipated drink. And- oh, why now? The sergeant nearly smacked his forehead on the wheel in utter exasperation as he was passed by an obviously impaired driver. By the excessive speed, reckless turns, and constant swervingâ?¦ definitely inebriated. A low growl escaped his lips as his features hardened. He didnâ??t even have a siren or lights to signify his status- oh well, hopefully this place had an undercover cop every now and again. It took a little longer than usual, but James finally managed to pull the man over. He stepped out of his car, quite agitated. Oh, the things he did in the name of justiceâ?¦ putting aside his future cold drink when he didnâ??t even start work until the next morning.

The officer made his way over to the other car, heaving a heavy sigh and tapped on the window.
 
This driver seemed to be much less than responsible on the road, which perfectly represented how he seemed to carry himself. Yes, this man was someone of the law as well... though he was much lazier about his job. After all, not much happened in this village, and it seemed to be relatively boring. Sure stuff happened from time to time, but not anything to warrant actual arrests. That is, unless it was some parent trying to teach their kid a lesson, though that was rare as well. So his driving about like a reckless idiot didn't seem like a problem to him. The streets were mostly empty, and no one really seemed to care about someone speeding around. As long as they got home safe, and no one got hurt, things were fine. Plus, they liked him anyways, and seemed to just find him to be someone to brighten up their day.

Driving this car was a man named Gael, a relatively simple name for a simple looking man. He was a lazy sort of fellow, though he had only a bit of baby-fat to show for it. The young man had red curled hair that was pulled up into a pony tail, and he had hazel eyes. Unfortunately, those charming freckled cheeks couldn't be seen in the middle of the night. Which means that the man who had pulled him over could hardly see what he looked like. However, he seemed to be all fun to the poor officer who had the misfortune of seeing him speeding about in the middle of the night. Looks like this was going to be a very long night.

Rolling down his window, Gael seemed to be all giggles as he spoke lightly, "Are you the new officer? Hi office, how are you? You know, I'm a policeman too." Snickering, he had pawed around the car for a few moments, holding out a badge as he leaned upon the window rim of the car. Smiling a contented smile, those soft lips showed he was quite in the good spirits. "Let's have a drink. I can turn around the car nice and easy. I'm such a good driver, yanno? It's very difficult. But I got the handle of it now." Leaning back into his seat once more, it wasn't long before he had leaned upon the wheel of the car and spoke again, "Feels like I'm driving on butter... yanno? Are the roads made of butter?"

Snorting a bit, it seemed as though he had found the situation to be perfectly amusing. Apparently the driver and apparent officer didn't seem to take his duty too seriously. "Oh, my name's Gael Barclay. I used to remember your name, guess I forgot!"

(I'll be more consistent now. The first one's always the hardest to get out for me. D; )
 
Gael's welcoming, kind words and friendly smile was met with a scowl coming from James. Although he was a bit on the short side, he could pull off a hell of an intimadating look. He made up for his small stature with well-toned muscles and a will of steel to carry out the law. He figured that the guy was just kidding around at first, saying that he was an officer- it wouldn't be the first time that someone claimed to hold a respectable job in order to get out of a ticket. However, in James's eyes, the law was not biased. He'd hit the hammer on anyone who dared risk danger by not abiding by rules laid out specificly to save lives. Upon inspection of the other's badge, he concluded that the man was an officer... a very, very drunk officer. "No, thanks. Seeing as you've probably just came from the pub, I'd hate to have you make a second trip," he replied sharply. He wouldn't encourage the man to another drink, nor would he show any signs of comradery to any officer or man who breaks the law... even though he could really go for a drink right now.

It wasn't until now that he realized that he had no means of performing a sobriety test- no breathalizer, no chalk to draw a line for the guy to walk out... sure, he could still get the man for reckless driving and exceeding the speed limit- well, that should be enough. Surely, this had to be a one-time thing... no officer would make drunk driving an excusable habit.

"It' Sergent James Saint," he introduced, but the timbre of his voice had everything but a cordial nature to it. "I'm going to have to ask you to step out of your vehicle, Officer Barclay. We're going to have a visit to the station and you're in no condition to drive."


(X3 it's fine).
 
"You know.." He spoke softly, giggling like some sort of schoolgirl. "I like butter, on my buns... Oh dear, did I say that?" Snickering, he slapped his knee like some sort of idiot. His words were a bit slurred, which was a worrisome indicator he was rather used to talking while drunk. "Officer.. Officer are you going to butter my buns at the station? I'll be a good boy." Opening the door, he had stumbled out a bit. Gael felt as though he was walking on a tightrope, but still found himself to be incredibly amused by the situation... unfortunately, his fellow officer of the law wouldn't find his next gesture to be so funny.

Leaning upon James, he had pressed soft lips against the other man's, cackling. "See? I smell like alcohol, like the pub. C'mon, let's go get a drink, man!" Yes, it seemed as though this officer was very... touchy feely when he had a few too many to drink. "We can get so drunk... it'll be fun, you'll love this place. We work hard for our reputation, yanno." Trying to walk towards said pub, it seemed as though he wasn't too eager to go back to the station. By the way his arms were in the air though, and how he attempted to walk in a straight line; it appeared as though he was off handily mocking the other officer. That, or just having a bit of fun at the newcomer's expense. "No one's been arrested in ages. Everyone's so nice, it's like.. well, arresting family!"

"Even if I don't know you, you're still family." At that, he stumbled a bit and nearly fell on his face, though he had soon regained his balance. "Family...le.. fam.. ily.. lily illy.. Family." Seeming rather satisfied with himself, he nodded and looked back to the other officer, a faux serious expression upon his face.
 
Well, there was hardly anything about Gael that James found amusing... and by 'hardly anything', I mean 'absolutely nothing at all'. His eyes simply narrowed at the man at the jouvenille comments and drunken attitude he was giving him. His lips were set in a stern frown- it came most naturally to him. He almost never smiled; James's face had a stern expression upon it more times than not. The sergeant stepped back as Gael stumbled out of the car, having a strong feeling that the man would need a bit of room. However, what room was given was soon taken away on Gael's accord as the drunk leaned against James.

His icy, blue eyes widened in shock as those soft lips touched his and he stepped away quickly as if electricuted by the touch. He put his fingertips against his lips, shocked at what had just happened and unable to believe that his personal bubble was intruded so quickly and effectively so soon upon his arrival. After a few moments, the shock wore off to a dull tingling surprise and his features hardened once again. Sergeant Saint was not amused.

No one arrested in ages? Family. So everyone in the village was close, he could respect that. Privacy didn't seem to be top on the priority list. But to excuse detainable offenses simply because they knew each other well? Inexcusable. The law knew no family ties. A normal person would have found the quick acceptance into their 'family' endearing, but a man with a work mindset like James's didn't think twice about it. James reached to his belt, where he held his own, spare gun and handcuffs for emegencies and whipped out the cuffs. He made his way over to Gael, still not amused by the feigned seriousness, and snatched his wrists, snapping them into the cuffs.

"Officer Barclay, I'm going to have to arrest you for driving under the influence and reckless endangerment."
 
"Officer...." He whined in surprise, when he was suddenly cuffed, "I.. I gotta pee, sir. I gotta pee and I can't pee. Can you do it for me?" Unfortunately, this wasn't a joke, he really had to go. In this drunken state, he might not have been too picky about just peeing right then and there. Something like that would obviously ruin James' car quite a bit. Squirming around impatiently, the young man didn't seem happy to be cuffed at all. "Why are you arresting me anyways? Everyone's fine, let's just go down to the pub. No one walks along here at night." He pulled at the cuffs a bit now, thinking this man might be a little more lenient.

Apparently this man wasn't just going to be arrested and be quiet. Nope, he had to be loud about it. "You know... they're not going to keep me in there for long. They only care about other problems, not my having fun." Giggling a bit, he continued, "Lighten up officer, this isn't the kind of place for all sorts of serious things. That's silly, and for the city." Tracing the tip of his shoe about in the dirt, he nearly stumbled over and continued, "We're in the country.. this village is nice, so we might as well enjoy it.. You're new, you'll like it.. it's like..." There came that word again, the word that always seemed to be his favourite, "Family. We're like family." Rambling to himself, it seemed as though he wasn't phased in the least. He was just assuming to get back to his car, or home eventually.
 
When Gael announced that he had to pee, James's eyes snapped up with a look that seemed to silently beg that the man was joking. He wasn't joking. Although seriousness was clouded by drunkenness, he had a feeling the guy wasn't kidding around now... and James didn't want to have piss all over his newly-given car and to hell as if he'd want to clean that up. The night was getting later and he was getting even more tired than he thought was possible. His brain was fried and arresting Gael was becoming more work than he thought. He wouldn't let up, though. "Can you hold it in until we get to the station?"

The constant squirming and talking was beginning to get on the sergeant's nerves. He was tired, cranky, hungry, thirsty, and for god's sake, he just wanted to lay down in bed right now. He'd even settle for sleeping in the back of his goddamn car. However, Gael seemed to hit a switch when he told James to lighten up. He scowled, shaking his head furiously. "I won't lighten up, officer. The geographical location nor personal relations shouldn't determine the treatment of crime. What if someone happened to be walking the streets tonight? You could have killed someone! If everyone here is like family to you, the least you can do is make sure they're safe by not drinking and driving! Drunk driving is a problem- not you having fun." He grasped the collar of the man's shirt and began to tug him in one direction. He'd walk to the station- pick up the cars later. "Where's the station?"
 
Gael seemed rather out of it, and spoke, "No... I can't wait... I gotta go real bad.. Officer, let me have my hands back so I can just piss in the bushes. I can't handle not going pee right now. I really really have to. I had a lot to drink at the pub, and I just have to go now." He was rather determined to finally get his shot at using the bathroom. The young redhead wasn't going to be smart enough to wait to get to the station either. Unfortunately, he was rather close to just relieving himself right here and now. At least he had enough restraint to stop himself from doing that, for now. But, James didn't have the advantage for someone who would give him an easy trip back. Normally the guy would be much more accommodating, but the drinking had done too much to him for now.

Though he didn't seem to be paying attention when James was talking about the dangers of drunk driving. "I like having a family." Was his simple comment as he continued fidgeting and moving about. Apparently he didn't enjoy having this sudden difficulty in using the restroom. "I don't know where the station is, either." He spoke honestly, being to disoriented to really remember where it was. However, it seemed as though he was moving to try to sit down now, getting tired of this standing. He was thinking about either wanting to go back to the pub for another drink, or just wanting to go home and go to sleep. Either way, he was making it obvious to the officer that he was going to be sitting, and that there was nothing he could do about it. Apparently that scare talk didn't work good at all.
 
"Relieving yourself anywhere other than a lavoratory is disrespectful to the town," he growled, glancing over to a line of buildings. A convenience store was still open. Surely, the rest rooms would be available there. He grasped the man's collar and began to tug him across the street. "How can you not know where your own work place is- oh, nevermind it all-" He huffed, not sure whether to be more annoyed at the fact that he was missing out on an opportunity to rest after a long travel or the fact that he had to arrest one of his own coworkers the night before he started.

Once inside the store, he was confronted by the clerk that the bathroom was for customer use only. Couldn't he make an exception for an officer? Whatever, it wasn't like this was the first bump in the road he came across today. He bought a pack of gum before dragging Gael over to the bathrooms. He unlocked the handcuffs and opened the door, motioning for the redhead to go inside. "Well, get on with it."
 
Gael had seemed to be not all there as they traveled to the bathroom. Apparently he was still very drunk out of his mind, and thinking about what they were doing just seemed like too much of an effort. Yawning a bit, he looked to the beef jerky and off-handidly mentioned wanting some of it. He defiantly would cut into that gum thing when he was finished peeing. When escorted into the bathroom, he had hurriedly gone in, relieving himself the moment he had gotten to the urinal. However, it appeared as though he wasn't getting any farther. Washing his hands, he felt rather exhausted, and soon he felt his eyes growing rather heavy.

It wasn't much longer until the young man had curled up upon the bathroom floor, sleeping in the corner of the bathroom. Apparently James would have to go after him, because he wasn't going to be coming out any time soon. What a terribly incompetent drunk man. Snoring softly, he was loud enough to be heard by his fellow officer, signaling him that this wasn't exactly going to be an easy trip at all. He would be best taking him back home, as opposed to trying to find the station.
 
For a few minutes, James waited patiently outside of the bathroom for the other officer to hurry up. By the constant glances and frowns from the clerk, it seemed like he wasn't the only one who didn't want to be here. The few minutes turned into fifteen and the sergeant concluded that not even the most painful spell of constipation could warrent beng in the bathroom for this long and- oh, lord, was that snoring? James pushed the door open carefully at first before shoving it open the rest of the way once he saw his future coworker passed out on the ground.

So much for taking him into the station. He didn't want to look foolish, carrying an unconscious officer to be put in a cell for the night- what's the point in that punishment when he wasn't even awake to see his just reward? But at the same time, he couldn't just leave the guy here and he didn't know where he lived, either. That left one option.

How goddamn precious, a slumber party.

Swearing beneath his breath, he stuffed the gum into his pocket and picked the officer up with such skill and ease that earned him his high marks back in London. He carried Gael out of the store, earning him odd looks from the clerk, and across the street into his car. This really wasn't worth his time.

After a quick car ride, he found himself outside of the cottage he was offered for his transfer. Deciding that he'd just get his things out of the trunk in the morning, James carried Gael out of the car and into his new home. He laid the man face down on the couch, not wanting the man to drown in his own spit or vomit if he were laying on his back. Once the task was done, James straightened up and cracked his neck. This was going to take a lot of getting used to.
 
Allowing himself to be a potato sack, the young boy didn't seem to move or get up. He was far too tired to do such a thing, and just allowed himself to rest upon the floor. He also allowed himself to be carried off to his newfound friend's home as well. Apparently he wouldn't be in for a nice wake-up call when the time arrived, but for now this was fine. He might be a little frightened though, when he finally got to waking up and found he was in a completely different home. That would surly be a surprise for him. Gael had woke up in worst places though, after all this getting drunk thing wasn't exactly brand new to him.

The whole trip he remained asleep, even when he was set upon the couch. Though he had pulled some blankets close and buried his head even further into the pillow. At least he approved of James' home and found it to be quite comfortable. Like hell he was going to get up now. Now though, he was able to get out of his jail obligation, because there would be no point in detaining him the next day. Looks like he was able to get off the hook for now.
 
No more than a minute passed between the time he had set Gael on the couch and the time he fell asleep. All James had the energy left to do was walk into his bedroom, kick off his shoes, and collapse into bed. God, what a good sleep that was. Strangely, as tired as he was that night, he woke up the following morning as ready for the day as ever. Of course, it did feel a little empty today solely for the fact that he was not used to waking up in his strange, new house but he was sure that he'd get used to it soon enough.

It was a good hour and a half before he'd have to leave to get to the station and James had been all set to take his morning shower before he realized that he left all of his things in the trunk of his car thanks to a surprise guest. He grumbled to himself, still agitated at how Gael had thrown a wrench in his evening and now his morning and made his way out of the bedroom. He shuffled through the living room, past the sleeping figure, and out the door into the cool morning air. He opened the trunk to withdraw the small amount of belongings he had. James re-entered his house, setting his belongings down by the door and walked back to the couch. He figured he may as well try to wake Gael up- he didn't want the guy to be late for work, after all. He huffed a sigh, looking away for a moment as he grabbed the other's shoulder and gave him a quick, rough shake. "Wake up."
 
Gael had of course been perfectly calm and asleep. He hadn't even remembered the trip all the way to his new co-worker's home... which would present a problem. After all, when he woke up he didn't even know where he was, or what he was doing in this new unfamiliar home. Blinking a few times, those eyes were struggling to find focus when a pounding hangover interrupted all thought. "O..oh hell..." He growled, rubbing his forehead a little bit. When he had seen the other male though, he practically jumped out of his skin.

"W... who the hell are you!?" He cried out, suddenly sitting up upon the couch and staring the other right in the eyes. "Are you going to rape me or something?" He stupidly asked, obviously still very very out of it at the moment. After all, no one in their right mind would ask a question like that. "W..wait..." He scratched his head a bit, starting to recall a few events of the previous night. The most prominent thoughts in his mind were passing out in the bathroom, and the word 'family.' This clearly was confusing, as that dumb look remained upon his face.
 
James was prepared for this sort of response. Although he doubted the man would be violent, he was still at the ready if Gael had decided to lash out. Naturally, the barely-conscious man had little recollection of the previous night's events. The sergeant's lips were set in a stony frown, his usual pout plaguing his features. The stoic face was broken only once to give a roll of his eyes at the question. "No, I am not going to rape you," he said in an exhasperated tone. Gael was proving to be more of a headache for James than the one Gael most likely had from a hangover.

Once deeming that Gael was too shocked and drunken with sleep to be a threat, James stepped back to pick up his suitcase that remained at the door up until this point. "I'm sergeant James Saint. Last night, I learned that you are Officer Gael Barclay and you were too drunk to make sense of your head from your arse. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to get ready for work. Make yourself at home if you must, but there's nothing here besides empty cabinets and some furniture."
 
Gael nodded a bit, seeming content with that. "Good, because you would've raped me.. Well, that would just be an awful way to say hello, wouldn't it?" Somehow, he wasn't embarrassed about waking up at a stranger's house though. He was more concerned about the fact that he smelled like vomit. Being drunk out of his mind apparently wasn't a new enough happening to get him worried or anything like that. "So, I think we met nicely then, James. We're going to be great friends, I know we will be. I think we have a lot in common." Could he still be drunk?

He did have a bit of a hangover though, and his head was a little sore. But he knew that he would get better after a few hours. "I have to go to work, too." The young man replied, scratching his head a bit. "I really don't want to right now, though. It's not like anything happens in the morning anyways. I'll probably meet you up later, after I have some breakfast and relax a bit." Yep, things were pretty lax here.
 
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