Foxy Lady
Star
- Joined
- Jan 30, 2014
- Location
- United Kingdom
‘Sheila, do you mind if I ask you something, just out of curiosity you understand?’
Yes, I did understand. Felicity never asked anything just out of curiosity and when she said that was what she was doing, you could be sure it was anything but. So this explained her sudden visit this sunny afternoon carrying a bottle of cold Pinot Grigio for us to share by my pool.
‘Of course not,’ I replied, ‘ask whatever you like, fire away.’
I took a sip of wine and waited for her question.
‘Have you ever screwed a virgin?’
That was it, like all her important questions, short, direct and never what you would have expected.
‘Well,’ I took my time as if having to think back over my entire sexual history, ‘I can’t be sure, because guys don’t like to admit that it’s their first time. but there was one for certain and another I suspected at the time, because he didn’t have much of a clue. But,’ I added almost as an afterthought, ‘that was a long time ago now.’
I didn’t bother asking her why she wanted to know. There was no need; she was going to tell me anyway.
‘I’m only asking because I know you’ve been on your own for a while now and there is a bit of a favour I want to ask, a big one actually.’
Right. She was worried about getting to the point, so this must be really important for her.
‘Don’t worry,’ I tried to sound reassuring, ‘favours are what friends do for each other. Just tell me what you want.’
Once again, what she said was a complete surprise.
‘It’s Fynn.’
I waited but there was nothing more. So I put two and two together and tried to make them come to less than 28. If this was about me being on my own, and screwing a virgin, and her son, there was only one connection I could make. She wasn’t accusing me of picking his cherry, because I hadn’t. I’d barely seen him since he went to uni and a good looking kid like him would have clocked up more experience than I had at nearly twice his age. So what was it that she was asking me?
‘It’s a bit late for me to pick his cherry, Felicity, so what are you asking?’
‘No, it’s not, you see, Sheila, that’s just it, it’s not.’
‘Are you seriously telling me that Fynn is still, that he hasn’t, that-’
For once I was speechless.
‘He admitted it last week, when he came back from uni. I asked him if he had a girlfriend and he said no, he didn’t bother with girls, which naturally made me ask if he was gay but he said no, he wasn’t. Anyway, after a lot of questions, he admitted that he had never actually had sex. Everyone assumed he was experienced, just like you did and I had, and that made him nervous because he was sure that it would be obvious that he hadn’t done it before. You see my problem?’
No, I didn’t see her problem. Fynn might have one, but his mother didn’t. He was an adult and could arrange these things for himself.
‘So where do I come in?’ I asked as if I didn’t know.
‘I was wondering, that is it would be a weight off my mind, as a mother, if you could, if you wouldn’t mind, you know, doing it with him, for his first time, just to give him confidence. Please.’
Shit. What was I supposed to say? Had she asked Fynn? Would he fancy someone my age? How would he feel if he couldn’t perform with me? And how would I feel for that matter?
Felicity never could cope with silence, so she quickly fired off more questions.
‘He’s 21 next weekend, so that would be a good time, wouldn’t it? Could you do it with him? As a surprise present?’
So this is what friends were for.
Yes, I did understand. Felicity never asked anything just out of curiosity and when she said that was what she was doing, you could be sure it was anything but. So this explained her sudden visit this sunny afternoon carrying a bottle of cold Pinot Grigio for us to share by my pool.
‘Of course not,’ I replied, ‘ask whatever you like, fire away.’
I took a sip of wine and waited for her question.
‘Have you ever screwed a virgin?’
That was it, like all her important questions, short, direct and never what you would have expected.
‘Well,’ I took my time as if having to think back over my entire sexual history, ‘I can’t be sure, because guys don’t like to admit that it’s their first time. but there was one for certain and another I suspected at the time, because he didn’t have much of a clue. But,’ I added almost as an afterthought, ‘that was a long time ago now.’
I didn’t bother asking her why she wanted to know. There was no need; she was going to tell me anyway.
‘I’m only asking because I know you’ve been on your own for a while now and there is a bit of a favour I want to ask, a big one actually.’
Right. She was worried about getting to the point, so this must be really important for her.
‘Don’t worry,’ I tried to sound reassuring, ‘favours are what friends do for each other. Just tell me what you want.’
Once again, what she said was a complete surprise.
‘It’s Fynn.’
I waited but there was nothing more. So I put two and two together and tried to make them come to less than 28. If this was about me being on my own, and screwing a virgin, and her son, there was only one connection I could make. She wasn’t accusing me of picking his cherry, because I hadn’t. I’d barely seen him since he went to uni and a good looking kid like him would have clocked up more experience than I had at nearly twice his age. So what was it that she was asking me?
‘It’s a bit late for me to pick his cherry, Felicity, so what are you asking?’
‘No, it’s not, you see, Sheila, that’s just it, it’s not.’
‘Are you seriously telling me that Fynn is still, that he hasn’t, that-’
For once I was speechless.
‘He admitted it last week, when he came back from uni. I asked him if he had a girlfriend and he said no, he didn’t bother with girls, which naturally made me ask if he was gay but he said no, he wasn’t. Anyway, after a lot of questions, he admitted that he had never actually had sex. Everyone assumed he was experienced, just like you did and I had, and that made him nervous because he was sure that it would be obvious that he hadn’t done it before. You see my problem?’
No, I didn’t see her problem. Fynn might have one, but his mother didn’t. He was an adult and could arrange these things for himself.
‘So where do I come in?’ I asked as if I didn’t know.
‘I was wondering, that is it would be a weight off my mind, as a mother, if you could, if you wouldn’t mind, you know, doing it with him, for his first time, just to give him confidence. Please.’
Shit. What was I supposed to say? Had she asked Fynn? Would he fancy someone my age? How would he feel if he couldn’t perform with me? And how would I feel for that matter?
Felicity never could cope with silence, so she quickly fired off more questions.
‘He’s 21 next weekend, so that would be a good time, wouldn’t it? Could you do it with him? As a surprise present?’
So this is what friends were for.