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BlueMoon and Relationships

Showmeyouloveme

Of all the witches working, I'm the worst...
Supporter
Joined
Sep 13, 2013
Location
USA
I have been dating a guy for about three months now and I want to tell him about what I like to do in my free time, which is write on BlueMoon. I know that I want to do it by the six month mark because I think that is a pretty significant amount of time to be dating someone and it’s a first step to being in a serious relationship (one that leads to marriage [after more months of dating of course]).

I have thought about just showing him the website and letting him click through things on his own. This is not a good idea because this place has an overwhelming amount of furries, Futas and other things that I know he doesn’t like. I don’t want him to see that and immediately think I am into that. He likes action and war movies and I do have one roleplay he might like to read if he ever sat still long enough to read it. Again, that is something I would probably print for him to read rather than let him have my password.

Once we get passed the basics of hey I like to write with other people on a website. Sometimes it’s sexual, sometimes it not. I have formed friendships with some of these people but not romantic relationships. There are a wide array of things (kinks) that I don’t partake in that go on on the website and a few that I do. It’s a creative thing that I like to do in my free time.

I know my big neon sign that I need to make him completely aware of is that I am not a furry. He knows I have a fascination with all of these weird documentaries and when I watch Furry ones he is completely put off. I don’t even think I should bring it up but if he gets curious and creates a profile and looks around I know that is the first thing he will see since the website is full of furries and that will be a shit show. I guess I should explain that to him beforehand. Answer his questions and then let him explore. I don’t know. Help me. I may be blowing it out of proportion but I may not be.

I need some advice because in my head the conversation is easy. In real life when it’s time to tell him, I don’t know how he is going to take it. So tell me, how did you tell your partner that you roleplay? What questions did they have? How did you assure them that there is a separation between the stories you write and the life you live? What would you do differently?


Thank you in advance.

And don’t say it doesn’t matter, if you don’t think it matters good for you but I do and I want to be as open as possible with him.
 

Dixon Steele

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Joined
Jun 29, 2019
Location
Behind you
Two schools of thought here. In either case the thing to keep in mind is you don't know how your partner will react to this and it could end your relationship.

School 1 - Does your partner really need to know everything you do? Especially if it is innocent? Will they understand the concept of their partner writing (sometimes) erotic stories with someone else? What if they decide you are guilty by association due to all the other stuff on sites like this?

School 2 - Reveal all and if he can't handle it/doesn't like it than perhaps you weren't meant to be in the first place. Not everyone likes to keep secrets.

Not trying to be vague or anything or make light of it but that is what it comes down to. Personally I have been in situation where I have overshared and regretted it. I wouldn't share this hobby with a partner unless I knew they were writers or RP'ers themselves. I come from School 1. But that is me.
 

CindyHarrison

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Joined
Apr 23, 2018
Location
In your most sexually depraved fantasies
My relationship is.....well, unique, to say the least. My wife/owner/Mistress has my password and frequently reads not only what I write but others as well.
For other people however, I think people should have the right to privacy and frankly, if I wasn't in the relationship I'm in, I would say 'mind your own business'.....
Bluemoon is a sexually oriented writing site and I don't think it's for everyone
 

Buffeted by the Aether

A S Y C H R O N O U S
Joined
Jul 5, 2019
Keep the not being a furry thing as a back up tension diffuser. If he's looking perplexed or stressed use it as a joke, if he's getting more interested in it than you would like use it to put him off?

(Disclaimer: Some furrys are fine people, and I like a lot of the art, but yeah, as a whole...)
 

Shimmi

The skirt of yours...it bothers me...take it off..
Joined
May 2, 2019
Location
The Land of Unfulfilled Desires
Let me give you look of a guy with similar issue. I have a girlfriend and we are nearly 8 years together. Last year we married so we are now husband and wife.

I have interest in roleplaying before and during our time and it doesn't matter if something like here or dungeons and dragons.

D&D she was able to understand. When I describe her this kind of RP she wasn't really thrilled and I didn't spoke about smut, kinks and so on.

When she realized what it really was, she was in very bad mood and she practically banned me to play.

So now I keep it a secret. Write only when she is away or from work if I have no project in that moment.

So two options:
Firtst, you will tell him and try to explain and he will be cool or he will let you choose between him and RP

Second, you will keep it a secret, but you need to behave as he will never found out. And it is fucking hard, trust me. But that is my only secret, so if you planning to have more. Good luck
 
Joined
Jul 14, 2015
You could always mention first that you write erotica as a hobby. See how he reacts to that. It should let him think of it as an artistic pursuit (like if you were painting nudes).

Then if you mention you collaborate with other people, it will seem less like cybering and more like something you're working on with close friends. That there are definite boundaries against that sort of thing.

You don't necessarily have to show him the site unless he asks. If then, you can earn him that people on here like some stuff he might not want to know about.
 

Victorian_Virtue

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Supporter
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Dec 1, 2014
Location
US
I don't know if you should show him this site. Perhaps a possible starter is to move the Roleplay (action/adventure) that he might like to a document and then tell him you have a hobby writing stories. Let him read it and take it from there? If it leads to this site then fine, if not, you have at least broached the subject.
 

NadiatheTinkerer

Bored Maid
Joined
Sep 28, 2016
Location
Canada
Ok, here I go.

So, the situation is pretty perilous. I usually start my relationships with “I write erotic fiction, often collaboratively with others.” I have had responses ranging from weirded out to wanting to try it, but that’s my policy. I write stuff that, while legal, is not standard sexual fantasy, so I can relate with your fear of them seeing the more out there fetishes and getting turned off. Best thing to do is always BE HONEST. in relationships, it’s sad, but sometimes who you are is not who they want. If you can live without rp and are happy to be with this person, it may be best to drop rp altogether, but if you are like me and this is a passion, you need to come clean. Printing off your plays is perfect, since that way they see you, not the community of degenerates like me.

Always be accepting of how they feel, but make the right choice for you. I have lost a few good looking guys and girls before, but I love role play, and sadly it’s part of who I am.
 

Dixon Steele

Withdrawn
Withdrawn
Joined
Jun 29, 2019
Location
Behind you
So, the situation is pretty perilous. I usually start my relationships with “I write erotic fiction, often collaboratively with others.” I have had responses ranging from weirded out to wanting to try it, but that’s my policy.
Good point there. If you feel you are the type who wants to share everything with your partner than the longer you leave it the harder it will get to come out with it. Better to reveal it early on so at least if they are put off by it you haven't invested too much emotion and time into it all.
 

Dixon Steele

Withdrawn
Withdrawn
Joined
Jun 29, 2019
Location
Behind you
I have been dating a guy for about three months now and I want to tell him about what I like to do in my free time, which is write on BlueMoon. I know that I want to do it by the six month mark because I think that is a pretty significant amount of time to be dating someone and it’s a first step to being in a serious relationship (one that leads to marriage [after more months of dating of course]).

I have thought about just showing him the website and letting him click through things on his own. This is not a good idea because this place has an overwhelming amount of furries, Futas and other things that I know he doesn’t like. I don’t want him to see that and immediately think I am into that. He likes action and war movies and I do have one roleplay he might like to read if he ever sat still long enough to read it. Again, that is something I would probably print for him to read rather than let him have my password.

Once we get passed the basics of hey I like to write with other people on a website. Sometimes it’s sexual, sometimes it not. I have formed friendships with some of these people but not romantic relationships. There are a wide array of things (kinks) that I don’t partake in that go on on the website and a few that I do. It’s a creative thing that I like to do in my free time.

I know my big neon sign that I need to make him completely aware of is that I am not a furry. He knows I have a fascination with all of these weird documentaries and when I watch Furry ones he is completely put off. I don’t even think I should bring it up but if he gets curious and creates a profile and looks around I know that is the first thing he will see since the website is full of furries and that will be a shit show. I guess I should explain that to him beforehand. Answer his questions and then let him explore. I don’t know. Help me. I may be blowing it out of proportion but I may not be.

I need some advice because in my head the conversation is easy. In real life when it’s time to tell him, I don’t know how he is going to take it. So tell me, how did you tell your partner that you roleplay? What questions did they have? How did you assure them that there is a separation between the stories you write and the life you live? What would you do differently?


Thank you in advance.

And don’t say it doesn’t matter, if you don’t think it matters good for you but I do and I want to be as open as possible with him.
So it's been a week, which course of action do you think you might be leaning towards or perhaps have already taken?...
 

Showmeyouloveme

Of all the witches working, I'm the worst...
Supporter
Joined
Sep 13, 2013
Location
USA
Well I’m not going to hide it that’s for sure. I haven’t told him yet but I am going too baby steps. Tell him that I like to write with other people. Bring up that some stones the characters have sex but I focus mainly on the story aspect because I don’t really do pure smut. Let him look at my stuff (if he wants) but try to keep him away from the full website because that is a lot to take in if your aren’t prepared for it.

I doubt he would be interested in joining. His interests and hobbies are mostly outdoor things; hunting, fishing, shooting. He barely likes to write emails, he wouldn’t write here. I think I’m pretty safe on that front. So I will see how he takes it one of these days.
 

Dixon Steele

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Withdrawn
Joined
Jun 29, 2019
Location
Behind you
Fair enough, sounds like a good plan. I guess it depends on how he feels about the whole thing. Probably best to expect a bad reaction just in case although he might just shrug and not care at all/not even fully understand what your hobby is without wanting to either!

Best of luck with it.
 
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