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Bondage: I don't get it

The Goodman

A RIDICULOUS human being
Joined
Oct 12, 2017
Messages
633
Location
EDT
#1
Hey, so, I'm curious. I've never been into bondage or the sado-masochism that is often paired with it. I just don't understand the appeal in a sexual context. I skip right over anything that has to do with restraints and those intricate rope patterns some people get tied with...it's all very boring in my eyes. And some imagery, like drooling around ballgags or women's breasts tied so tight they turn purple and bulge, is very unappealing to me. But I am intrigued and open to learning. I like to hear about other people's experiences to get more understanding of their perspective.

Is it seeing someone tied up that gets you going? Is it a loss of control that makes you excited? What type of bondage do you like?

Why do you like bondage?
 
Joined
Apr 23, 2018
Messages
716
Location
In your most sexually depraved fantasies
#2
As anyone here that knows me knows, I'm a submissive in real life. I'm married to a wonderful yet dominant woman who also happens to be my owner and Mistress. Both of us have been in the BDSM 'world' for probably 8 years or so, although Miss Tina has been a Domme for at least 5 years longer.
Bondage and the almost always accompanying ballgagging and often nipple clamping has been a staple of our rather unique relationship.....for Miss Tina, bondage serves as a physical reminder of her dominance and control over me, just as I feel that it serves as my promise of total submission.
If I have a favorite style of bondage, it's what is called being hogtied, where I lay on my belly, hands bound behind my back, ankles bound and legs bent up toward my back....a short rope or handcuffs are then used to secure the feet and wrists together.....the other is when she ties my wrists together, attaches them to a ceiling hook, binds my ankles so I'm suspended, feet barely touching the floor.
 

The Goodman

A RIDICULOUS human being
Joined
Oct 12, 2017
Messages
633
Location
EDT
#3
Hm, very interesting. Thank you for responding @CindyHarrison . What is it about being tied that you like? Why do you like to be tied up? Why those positions?

What happens when you are tied? I'm trying to connect it, to visualize it, because I'm not sure where the "sexy" or the excitement comes from. So, you get tied in, let's say, the hog tied position. Then what? What does Miss Tina do with you motionless, inactive on the ground?
 
Joined
Feb 15, 2013
Messages
561
#4
In my personal life, with my job and being the only person in my family that got out of high school and the only one with a real home of my own and taking care of a dying father, I have to be in control about every aspect of my life. By giving into my BDSM love even just a little, I get to let that control go and put my trust in someone else. When I can give up some control and am tied up I get to relax in a way, there is a part of me that doesn't have to be in absolute control and it helps me relax more than I realized it would. That's really why I like bdsm, plus I've learned that I really love to see a woman in control so that's a big plus!
 

Pazzo

Mr. Crazy
Supporter
Joined
Jan 4, 2015
Messages
731
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In front of my computer, or on my phone
#5
Interesting discussion topic. I have a few theories.

The problem is that my theories are all based upon my own speculation, and there is no way to really prove any of it with humanity's current level of technology.
Anyways, I shall offer my ideas for consideration.

So lets start with the brain. My idea is that it's effectively an asynchronous electro-chemical analog computer, and like any such machine, some things are hardwired into it, which we call "instincts".
The instincts that drive us to be aroused and seek qualities in a mate, which are in effect different on some level from one person to the next. I want to say that everyone's kinks work in a similar fashion.
The one thing they have in common is that they stimulate arousal and excitement. As to what factors decide what is arousing from one person to the next, I guess the easiest answer is: "It just depends on the person."

As for Bondage, I like both ends of the spectrum. One the receiving end, I find it arousing and exciting that my own personal dominant milf finds me desirable, and that she desires to take my freedom and power away, to make me hers and hers alone, and to make me love it and beg her for more. From the other side of the ropes, cuffs, gags, blindfolds, and whatever other delicious little implements we decide to play with, its an ego boost. Here is this lovely, gorgeous, erotic woman who desires to submit her freedoms to me, to have all of her power stripped away. She desires and trusts me to let her ride the adrenaline and excitement that comes from being helpless and at my tender mercies, having erotic things done to her, with nothing she can do to stop me.

It just works for us, using the power and sensation dynamics to excite and arouse one another.
 
Joined
Aug 30, 2014
Messages
856
#6
I understand the power, the letting go… But really don't like the all tied up, cannot talk thing at all.
 
Joined
Apr 23, 2018
Messages
716
Location
In your most sexually depraved fantasies
#7
My Mistress knows that when I'm tied up, I'm at her mercy and as my owner, she loves taking advantage of that. She often does her hogtying of me during the evening. She'll put the ballgag in my mouth then put a vibrator in my vagina and a dildo up my ass, then use me for a footstool. Bondage, like being a slave, is all about surrendering yourself to someone else, to give them control over you, but a good Mistress (or Master) appreciates that the surrendering of a submissive is voluntary, a willingness to please and serve and the wise Dom/Domme appreciates it for what it is
 
Joined
Apr 26, 2019
Messages
13
#8
I share your aversion to ropework that causes unflattering bulging, discolouration, etc, or things like excessive drooling.

I tend to prefer bondage with a more simple and straightforward purposes. Handcuffed to the bed? Shackled to the wall? Ring gag? It's all about the helplessness. Restrained, vulnerable, exposed. Yum.
 
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