- Joined
- Mar 30, 2019
"So, TJArmy, TJ here with a very short but important message. It is with slightly somber new that I have to disappear for a week. I know, it is quite a shame. But my super cute baby sister is getting married and as you know, the big bro has to be there to lay the smackdown if some jack ass wants to run in" TJ was currently doing a little bit of overacting in front of a camera as he recorded himself. TJ looked to be no older than twenty five, he sported a coolly shaved head and an incredibly smooth goatee. He has sun-kissed skin and his body is strong. His arms and chest are broad for his general size. While he was recording himself he wore a tank top that allowed him to show off a stunning pair of tattoo sleeves. It was a pair of dragons; the right arm was red and the left arm was blue. He even wore a pair of sunglasses to cover his face a little bit. But one thing that wasn't covered was his winning smile.
"I mean what will all of do without your guru? Don't worry, you can still find me on the gram. I have over two years of videos for you to watch if you really need a fix so don't worry you are covered." The young man moved back and forth with over acted, hammed up hand gestures. He picked up the camera and brought it very close to his face and tried to look sincere. There were shit-eating grins all over the world but this one was almost excessively funny.
"And I know what you are saying, why not take a plane its so much faster! Well my sister's maid of honor is a friend who wants to accept as little kindness as possible because she makes the average stick in the mud look like the life of the party. So a cross country trip for me with someone who I can't stand and can't stand me! I love having to bring my baby sister's "maid of honor" and her "best friend" I just Love" being so nice." And yes, this young man did do the air quotes to add emphasis to his statement. "I know my sister is getting married and I have to be happy for her but you know what I say about marriage, right? If they are going to be your player two they better have a kick ass k/d ratio. And my sister is such a good player 2 she can be a player 3 and 4." TJ's face curls into a wide grin as he begins laughing uproariously.
"Let me stop lying, this is going to be a total disaster. This is a marriage of convenience because of kids or money or whatever have you. You either get married when you truly find someone worth your time, who works to improve for you as you improve for her, who stands up for you, who pulls your hair back for you while you vomit from taking to many shots of tequila. This is a favor because my sister and this "friend" are like tighter than a pair of polyester pants. But let me remind you of something important; if you want this smooth shave, check my sponsor today," TJ emphatically pointed at the recorder "But even more importantly, do not forget my 3 main rules of life: 1: Be your number one advocate because no one else will be. 2: F society. Society wants you weak, complacent and meek. DO not be some quiet puppy. Be the baddest bitch. And 3: when life wants to kick you in the groin, tell life thank you and then kick that MFER back! Life is your bitch! You are not life's bitch! Live life to the maximum! TJ out!"
The recording soon ended and TJ put away his camera. Tyler James, or how he was known as TJ, is a social influencer on various social media platforms. He made a decent living and he was posting his final video before he had to go pick up someone. Someone he was not looking forward to seeing. The only reason he was honestly going to the wedding was for the easy tail. Women in weddings normally get emotional, a little nice word and four glasses of wine later and there will be more than one person being blessed that night. Though TJ had many doubts that he would be able to pull off such a task, his arch nemesis would ensure his failure with her holier-than-thou, her shit never stinks attitude. This was going to be one fabulous disaster.
TJ drove up to her apartment. He got out of his car and almost began to rehearse how he would interact with her.
"Hey what's up bitch?" No that was a little too on the nose. "Sup?" That was too nonchalant. "Yo?" That was just terrible. "My lady, your chariot is here?" The heck is this some Disney Rerun? "Que lo que?" Even TJ knew he didn't have that much swagger. "Konnichiwa, watashitachi wa watashi no ane no kekkonshiki ni ikimasu ka?" She doesn't even speak Japanese. Well guess bitch it is. He walked into her building and knocked on her door.
"Sup bitch, lets go." This was why he needed to improv more. It almost always worked out better.
"I mean what will all of do without your guru? Don't worry, you can still find me on the gram. I have over two years of videos for you to watch if you really need a fix so don't worry you are covered." The young man moved back and forth with over acted, hammed up hand gestures. He picked up the camera and brought it very close to his face and tried to look sincere. There were shit-eating grins all over the world but this one was almost excessively funny.
"And I know what you are saying, why not take a plane its so much faster! Well my sister's maid of honor is a friend who wants to accept as little kindness as possible because she makes the average stick in the mud look like the life of the party. So a cross country trip for me with someone who I can't stand and can't stand me! I love having to bring my baby sister's "maid of honor" and her "best friend" I just Love" being so nice." And yes, this young man did do the air quotes to add emphasis to his statement. "I know my sister is getting married and I have to be happy for her but you know what I say about marriage, right? If they are going to be your player two they better have a kick ass k/d ratio. And my sister is such a good player 2 she can be a player 3 and 4." TJ's face curls into a wide grin as he begins laughing uproariously.
"Let me stop lying, this is going to be a total disaster. This is a marriage of convenience because of kids or money or whatever have you. You either get married when you truly find someone worth your time, who works to improve for you as you improve for her, who stands up for you, who pulls your hair back for you while you vomit from taking to many shots of tequila. This is a favor because my sister and this "friend" are like tighter than a pair of polyester pants. But let me remind you of something important; if you want this smooth shave, check my sponsor today," TJ emphatically pointed at the recorder "But even more importantly, do not forget my 3 main rules of life: 1: Be your number one advocate because no one else will be. 2: F society. Society wants you weak, complacent and meek. DO not be some quiet puppy. Be the baddest bitch. And 3: when life wants to kick you in the groin, tell life thank you and then kick that MFER back! Life is your bitch! You are not life's bitch! Live life to the maximum! TJ out!"
The recording soon ended and TJ put away his camera. Tyler James, or how he was known as TJ, is a social influencer on various social media platforms. He made a decent living and he was posting his final video before he had to go pick up someone. Someone he was not looking forward to seeing. The only reason he was honestly going to the wedding was for the easy tail. Women in weddings normally get emotional, a little nice word and four glasses of wine later and there will be more than one person being blessed that night. Though TJ had many doubts that he would be able to pull off such a task, his arch nemesis would ensure his failure with her holier-than-thou, her shit never stinks attitude. This was going to be one fabulous disaster.
TJ drove up to her apartment. He got out of his car and almost began to rehearse how he would interact with her.
"Hey what's up bitch?" No that was a little too on the nose. "Sup?" That was too nonchalant. "Yo?" That was just terrible. "My lady, your chariot is here?" The heck is this some Disney Rerun? "Que lo que?" Even TJ knew he didn't have that much swagger. "Konnichiwa, watashitachi wa watashi no ane no kekkonshiki ni ikimasu ka?" She doesn't even speak Japanese. Well guess bitch it is. He walked into her building and knocked on her door.
"Sup bitch, lets go." This was why he needed to improv more. It almost always worked out better.