You think the weathers cold, Wait till you meet her (me/Hat)

Senka Deshinov looked somewhat disconnected with the world as she walked around the camp. The snow fell down slowly from the heavens, occasionally landing on her but she didn't mind, she liked the snow, expect when it was stained with the blood of fallen comrades and enemies. She looked about herself; everyone else was probably in their quarters or in the mess hall. She sighed to herself her hot breath creating a mist in the coldness of the outside air. She walked over to one of the snow covered benches. Clearing away some of the gather snow she made a place for herself to sit.

She sat down gently on the bench and leaned back in the chair and looked up at the sky. She wasn't the only women at this camp, but offcourse in the army the men would always outnumber the women. She wasn't a front line solider, no. That "privilege" was only given to the men and with good reason. She was a sniper in the Russian army. At first she had worked alone, having no partner with her on tasks and missions. She was probably one of the best snipers in the army, or at least this camp, with a confirmed 77 kills. The men had taken to calling her "Hawk Eye". However most of them stayed away from her as she was cold and disconnected, it seemed, of having any emotions. The men saw this as somewhat irrie. Pretty soon the high ranking officials got word of it and assigned her a partner for some sort of companion ship and perhaps a vent for any emotions that she had. So far it hadn't really helped. She'd manage to crack a smile or to, or chuckle once in awhile but not much else. Still, they considered that her psychological health was at a higher standard than it had ever been before and to this day she still had a partner.

Why had she joined the fight in the first place? Women tended not to be known for their service on the battle field. The Russian army was one of the first to allow women to join their ranks. When the war fist began, the Nazi's had invaded her town. The burnt the whole town to the ground and slaughtered all the men of their village right before their eyes. Even the smallest of male children not were spared. Any women that objected was captured and most likely raped. Those that kept their mouths shut, lived and escaped. Her family knew that the germans were coming and had feld. Just before they had locked down the town they had managed to escape into the night, however, they had nowhere to go. So instead of standing around waiting for the Germans to capture the again, they ran to the nearest army base. They were given food and shelter and offered the chance to join the fight. They were probably the easiest people to enlist. The hurt they felt in their hearts would have them lust for vengeance

She was trained in how to use a sniper rifle, and a hand gun. She learnt tactics, how to move around silently and other skills that would assist her. Then she was shipped of with other female soldiers to the camp they were in now. Senka's Fiancé had been sent to another unit, but they aw each other from time to time. Her family now resided in Moscow,

Senka sighed to herself. She was dressed in her military uniform, designed to combat the harsh Russian winter. Her red hair was up in a messy bun and stuff up inside her fury woollen cap. Her uniform was marked with a few decals, denoting her rank of lieutenant. Her uniform consisted of a large over coat, then a jacket, a shirt, a pair of thick trousers and black boots. Hardly faltering, however that was not its purpose. Its purpose was to keep her alive in the cold.

Looking around, she wondered exactly where her partner had actually run off to. He was probably inside stuffing his face as usual. She sighed a little and looked at the snow falling making her content once more. She reached inside her shirt and pulled out a ring on a chain. It was her engagement ring, only simple in design, but what it represented way the complete opposite. It was made of a sliver band with a large green stone in the middle and smaller white ones around it. He had told her he had chosen green because he loved her eyes. She held it in her gloved hands for a moment, her mind drifting back to those somewhat happy days before the war, in a somewhat blissful state for a moment. However, footsteps approaching made her quickly put it away from view once more and she was back in reality, in the cold snow.

Vladimir was NOT stuffing his face.
He was eating. Sure, he ate a lot at, but in his own words, "Getting shot at is tiring." and it wasn't like the food they got was the best, either. If the Germans didn't kill them, the rations surely would! Blech! He sighed as he finished his black coffee, his half-lidded blue eyes under shaggy blonde hair. He wore his hair longer than usual, because it kept the back of his neck warm. And many woman loved it. At barely 23, he'd fallen in and out of love with many women, and in and out of many beds. It was a pride to him that he had pleased every woman he had ever slept with, in and out of bed, before and after the act. He was known around the base as a ladies man. Many of them grumbled about his assignment to Senka, but he didn't care. To him, she was more than a woman. She was his real comrade. A true compatriot, competent and beautiful like a warrior angel.

His mother hadn't liked that her little Vlad was running off to fight. She'd tried, oh, she tried to keep him close and tied to her, but he wouldn't have any of that. Vladimir saw himself as free, undiluted, doing as he pleased how he pleased when he pleased. So when he wanted to fight, he joined, rather than waiting to be picked up. He was an only child. Even so, he was brothewrs to all the boys in town. They had grown together, they had joined together, they fought together. But...

Technically, Vlad wasn't part of her unit at all. His original unit had been... brave. Running low on munitions, they'd pulled out bayonets, knives, anything, and rushed forth to beat the Germans to death like the beasts they were. And one by one, without even reaching the enemy, they fell. Yeah, they were brave alright. Brave and stupid. He had ran. Ran and ran and ran, though snow and woods and cities torn apart, until he had met her. Senka. A beautiful woman, a real daughter of the Bear. He had grown to like her, even love her. But she was engaged, so... he sighed heavily. The postmaster had arrived. He looked up, of course there were no letter for him or from him, so he passed by.

Then he saw it. The manila envelope. A chill ran down his spine. He saw the name of a law firm on it, and knew instantly what it was. A will. Somebody... a father, a mother, someone close to someone in the unit had died, and rather than pulling them out to attend the reading of the will, or the funeral, the will was sent out a week later. The postmaster was a big, jolly fellow. He didn't get much exercise, and was usually in oddly high spirits. So to see him carrying that envelope... it was chilling and sobering. Vlad rose and followed him, morbidly curious as the large man stepped outside.

"Don't tell me..." Vlad murmured as the big man approached the woman sitting outside. Boris sat dwn beside her and sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "No..." the big man bowed his head, handing her the envelope. He could hear the words, laced with regret, on the wind.
"It would have been a lovely wedding, Senka. I... I am truly sorry for your loss. He died a brave man's death. Here..." and a soft jingle as the dog tags fell in her lap. The wind died down instantly and everything was still as ice. Vlad took a few steps out into the snow, but didn't know what to say. Senka had hid the fact from most everyone. Boris and he himself knew, but that was it. Unconsciously, he gripped the tags that hung around his neck, the bent tags of his brothers. The pain wasn't the same, but he was feeling it again all the same. She'd never see him again. Hear his voice. Hold his hand. Feel his warm embrace.
"If you desert now, I doubt anyone would shoot you." Boris said as he rose and adjusted his cap.

Senka looked up as Boris approached her. He sat next to her and she looked at the envelope. If their was mail he would have just left for her in her quarters. The fact that he was personally delivering it to her scared her. The name of the law firm made it that much more intimidating. She looked at him and said nothing, waiting for him to speak. The words that were about to come would haunt her for ever.

After the words "He died a brave death" were uttered, the rest of what he had to say didn't matter. His voice faded into muffled as he dropped the tags into her lap. She looked down at them, starting at his name that has been pressed into it" Dmitri Mihailov". She heard him stop speaking and walk away but she didn't care. She was in shock. He couldn't be dead. He had promised. They had promised. The few times they did get to see each other, they promised each other that they would see each other again.

No, she wouldn't believe it. They were going to get married. They would have children and go old together. She had imagined so many times in her head it was almost like it was real. She reach down to her lap and clenched the tags in her palms and held them to her chest. "He carn't be dead" she muttered to her self.

Her heat told her he couldn't die, but her brain told her that he was gone. Slowly the grief set in and slowly, from one tear, they became many. She began to sob. She hunched over a little and and began to repeat over and over again "Why is he dead...He carn't be dead...we promised....". She was crying in the middle of the camp, it wouldn't be long till people noticed. She looked down at the tags and shook her head. "No...I carn't...I won't believe it..."

Vlad walked up to her as Boris walked away, unsure what to say, what to do. he placed a gentle hand on her shaking shoulder, sitting beside her. He didn't say a word, he simply let her know that he was there, and that he cared. But he knew in his head that it was wrong to hang around, he had to give her time alone. He doubted she wanted to be seen like this, the strong Senka in tears. So he stood, walking back indoors with heavy steps.

It was quiet there. He sat down, resuming his meal, and a few men sat beside him. they exchanged knowing looks behind Vlad, smiling. Something wasn't right here...
"So her boy's dead, eh?" one asked, quietly. "I heard from Boris. Tragic, really."
"Yeah." the other replied. "It's too bad. This war's hurting us all. Boris 'imself lost his mum a couple of months ago."
"Yeah, well, I suppose it's good news for you, Vlad, eh?"

Vlad looked up. How could this ever be good news?His partner was in shambles, she had nothing to go home to anymore! He'd wanted to see the two of them together, their love was rare and honest. Not like what he knew at all, really, it was the kind you built a family on. So how was this good for him?
"Yeah, now he can finally get in her pa-"
The punch seemed to come from nowhere, sending him flying back against another table with a crash. He rose, picking up the man by the collar and lifting him up to see a face with murderous intent.
"I never want to see you or hear from you ever again, am I clear?" he growled, softly. "Senka is my dearest friend and comrade. I would never dream of taking advantage of her like that!"

The one behind him, sitting idly and smiling, spoke up.
"You wouldn't give yourself time to dream, you'd just do it!" he said, his laugh cut short when the one in Vlad's fist was tossed into him. "Ha." he said, pushing his friend off of him, standing up. "You want to go, comrade?"

"Sorry. I'm in no mood to dirty my fists with the likes of you." he said, picking up his things and heading back to the sleeping quarters.
"We'll report you, you know!" the punched one yelled. He recieved a middle finger in response.

Senka felt Vladamir's hand on her shoulder, but she was disinterested. Her whole body had gone numb. She was overwhelmed by the intense grief and sadness that she felt. After awhile he got up and left her be. Once he was gone she was alone again. She stopped crying for a moment just so she could go to her quarters. Her cap sat low on her head and she looked down at she made her way inside.

Once she arrived she opened the door and walked inside. She locked the door and took off her hat and tench coat. She sat down on her bed, the tags still clenched in her fist. She opened up her fist and looked down at them and she began to cry again. She couldn't believe it. She didn't understand. He had...basically been her whole world. Every decision had involved him in some way, weather it was only in a small way or a major way. He was always on her mind.

She huddled up in a ball, kicking off her boots. She sat on her bed crying quietly. She had his will left on her desk, un-opened. She didn't care about it now. It wasn't relevant. She stayed in her quarters for hours, not leaving her spot. Dinner time would come but she would not be seen in the mess hall. None of those close to her expected her to either.

As time wore on, he too skipped dinner, looking at the tags of his 'brothers'. He knew Senka was probably crying herself to sleep. He wanted to help her in any way he could, hold the crying woman in his arms. He'd done that many times before, consoled a woman. In a pub. On the street. Even in his own home. For some reason, it would be different with Senka. He knew out here he was all she had. He should be going to her.

So why did the little voice in the back of his head scream at him not to?

Was it because he knew he might not be able to resist the urge to take advantage of the situation? Was it more because he was afraid of her? He sighed softly, looking at the picture Boris had taken when he had transferred in. He hadn't noticed in the past, but she was smiling. He was still haggard and unshaven, his old jacket tattered and beaten. He looked homeless, dirt caked on his face except for where the tears had flowed. He remembered what she had told him then:
"They may have passed from you, but think not on what you have lost. Instead, think of what they gave you while they were alive: The memories, the love, and the time you shared with them has not vanished from your mind or heart. Unless, of course, you let it be so."

He sighed, putting the picture back. Their next mission was in a week or so. It was his duty, as her partner, to make sure she was back to... if not her old self, then at least a competent soldier again. He groaned softly. This would not be an easy task.

Senka was still on her bed, huddled in a ball, hugging her self as the tears continued to fall down her face. They were silent tears now, she made no noise as they fell. She just stared into face as if trying to will her self to be somewhere else, maybe she was willing her self to be in a time when he was still alive, when she could still feel the warmth of his hand on hers, hear the sound of his voice and see his smiling face.

She moved and lay down on her pillow but she didn't close her eyes, she continued to stare, as if watching a television, expect she was replaying her memories in her mind. She remembered a time back in her home town. The lake near by had frozen over and she her fionce, and the rest of her family had gotten their ice skates out and had spent the entire day on the lake, jsut having fun. She replayed the memory in her mind, wishing it was real.

Time passed, and in the end, Vlad had decided to go with his gut feeling for the night. His eyes closed, and he dreamed about what he usually did. He woke up to... Senka... opening... his door? Something wasn't right. Was he still dreaming? He had to be...
"Senka, are you-"
"Hush, Vladimir." she said softly, placing a slender finger on his lips. "It's just us now..." she pushed him back onto the bed and he blinked. "S-s-senka, h-hey, w-wait..." he managed, as she kissed his neck and nibbled on his ears. "Senka, this isn't right..."

"What's so wrong about it?" she murmured as she began to unbutton his uniform. "So long as we're both enjoying ourselves..."

"N-no, Stop!" and then he woke up, truly. He panted, clutching his racing heart. This was bad. He had to have a word with her. He had to clear this up. He had to make sure that no matter what, nothing happened between them... at least not because of the void left by her fiancee. If Senka came to him like that, he wanted it to be because of his personality, or something she liked about him. Not as a replacement. He shook his head and went out to the mess hall.

He soon discovered that Senka hadn't come in for breakfast, and so after he was finished, he took one to her room, knocking on the door gently.
"Senka, are you awake?" he asked. "Are you dressed? I brought you breakfast."

Senka had cried her self to sleep the last night. Her dreams were torn. One moment she was with Dmitri, the next the was either watching him being put in his grave, or being shot down in the battlefield. She had woken up a few times during the might, only for more tears to come.

When he knocked on her door, she roused her from her fitful sleep. She was still dressed in her clothes from the other day. She sat up slowly and stood up and walked to the door slowly. She had a disheveled appearance. Her hair that was usually put up in neat bun underneath her cap, however now loose stands hung about the sides of her face in bangs and the bun looked messy. Her eyes looked hollow and tears had stained her cheeks.

She unlocked the door and opened the door slowly. She looked up at him. In her hand she still clutched the tags and during the night she had removed the chain around her neck which held her ring, it had joined the tags. She looked at him and said "Yes..."

"Senka..." he said quietly, setting the tray aside. "Senka, we need to talk." he said, looking into her eyes. "When.... when we met, you told me something." he pulled the bent dog tags from his neck. There was five. "You told me that... when someone dies... they don't leave entirely. A part of them stays." he took her hand in his own, looking into her eyes. "You said... to treasure what you still have, to... not regret what you lost."

He sighed.
"I'm sorry, I'm not good at this sort of thing. I thought you might want to see me. If you like, I'll ask Boris to send along that... you won't be viable for our next assignment due to emotional damages." he looked at the floor and scratched his arm. Shaking his head, he placed a hand on her shoulder.
"If you want to talk, I'll be in my quarters, comrade." he said softly, walking past her. "I'll let you enjoy your meal in peace."

Senka closed the door behind him. She looked at him when he spoke. She remembered when she had told him that. It had been so easy for her to say something like that to him, to comfort him, but when he said it to her, it was harder to feel and apply the concept.

She looked down when he said he wasn't good at these things. She heard him talk about the mission. She felt his hand on her shoulder before he walked out again. She looked over at the food and she walked over to it and sat down. She picked up the fork and stared down at it. She didn't feel like eating it. She didn't feel hungry, she just felt numb. She looked down at her hand clenching the tags and ring and she closed her eyes before she began to cry silently again.

He stood outside the door, unsure how to follow that up. He didn't like hearing her cry, it just wasn't like her. Aaargh! he wanted to do something, he wanted her to smile again. He needed her smile, or else he, too, might stop believing in what she said. Some distant part of him told him to comfort her in the old way he was used to. Maybe... maybe it was right. He had to certainly try. He wanted her to know, like she had for him... that she wasn't alone.

He pulled open the door, and hugged her tightly. He'd never done this. He'd never done more than look her in the eyes and call her 'comrade' warmly. But he had to admit it, she was more than that to him. She was... He could not place the words. So he didn't try. He just held her, hoping she understood that he was trying to help, hoping she understood she still had him.


Ah, there was the word.

He loved her.

Senka did not expect him to come back so quickly, not for the hug that came. She closed her eyes when he hugged her and she found her arms wrapping around him as she cried into his chest. She continued to cry for some time before she pulled away from him and said "I'm sorry...you did not have to do that" she said softy a tear still rolling down her pale white cheek.

She looked down at the ring and tags again and said "Why is he gone....why did he have to die...we made a promise...." she said softly.

He sighed.
"He died... because he knew you needed a home to go to. He wasn't actually in the army, remember? He was a beurocrat, serving the nation with paper and ink." he scratched his head. "The report says he died defending his home. If he wasn't doing that for you, I know in my bones, he would have tried to stay alive for you. I think... he wanted to keep your promise." he looked into her eyes. "He's still with you." he said softly. "Here..." his fingers gently touched the top of her head, "And here." he placed his hand over her heart. "And I want you to know, that you aren;t alone. I'm not a replacement, but I'm here. And... I care about you, very, very much." he added, blushing deeply.

Senka looked at him as he spoke. She looked down a little as he spoke about his death. She felt his hand touch her head and his hand over her heart. She looked at him and she was to upset to notice his blush. She looked at him and said "Thank you Vladamir...it's nice to know that I have a friend who will took after me" she said wiping her eyes for a moment. She looked at him and said "You didn't have to come an talk to me...but i'm glad you did..." she said.

He smiled in response, letting her go and handing her the food. "That's what partners are for, right?" he asked, peeling the apple for her. It was an old habit, something he usually did for himself. Once he was done, he placed the apple on the tray. "Listen... If... if you... want..." he sighed, unable to actually spit it out. "N-n-nevermind." he said quietly. "You'd probably slap me."

Se is looked at him and watched as he peeled the apple for her. She picked it up and bit into it. It tasted a lot better than the rations they served here and she was more inclined to eat it. She looked at him when he spoke. He seemed a little hesisitant to say what he wanted to say which was very unlike him. She looked and said " Just say whatever your going say" she said with a sigh and bit into he apple again.

"Well... I don't want to be a replacement." he said, sitting on the bed. "But if you want someone to hold and... ah..." he blushed heavily and looked at his feet.
"Senka, I... I think... No, I know. I know I love you." he whispered, part of him ashamed at having feelings for a woman he knew was engaged. His heart raced and adrenaline pumped heavily.

Senka looked at him some what shocked and transfixed on the spot. She stared at him unable to answer him. What was he saying, she didn't understand what he was trying to say to her. She was already infer the stress of having just lost the man she loved and now shebhad her partner throwing hints at her. She looked at him and said " what are you saying, that you have feelings for me?" she asked him. She looked at him and stared at him. If he was going to tell herhow he felt, he had picked the wrong time to do it.

He sighed. It was falling apart.
"No, no, nevermind." he said quietly. "Y-y-your new gun arrived a couple hours ago. I thought you might want... might want to know. I'm sorry. I almost said something inane." he rose, shaking, and walked to the door. "We are comrades, Senka. That's what I meant. I love you as my comrade, my staunch Valkyrie. Please forget what I said carelessly." with that, he stepped out of the room, shut the door behind him, and walked to his own, sitting on the bed.

He knew in his heart how he felt. But it would never be the right time to tell her.

Senka looked at him as he walked out. She listened to him fiber himself. She noted that his body shaking as he stood up and walked out of her room. She stated at him, her eyes follwed him as he left . She looked back down end she was left very much confused but she figured ifbhe wanted her to forget about then she would. In her current state she was more than happy to oblige. She wasn't really in the state of mind to decipher his subliminal messages. She looked at the food and signed to herself and with her face dlooking solem she picked up her fork and began to eat slowly.

Once she was finished she pushed the tray to the side. She stood up and picked up some freash clothes and towles and made her way over to the showers. She wasn't crying anmore but anyone could tell that she was still very much grieving. She stepped Inside and walked into one of the stalls. The showers were pretty much empty this time of day she slowly took her clothes off and turned on the water and stepes under it's warmth, somewhat comforting to her.

She stayed in their for some time before she washed her self andngot freashen up and got dressed in new clothes, drying her hair off before stepping back out side. She sat down on one of the benches outside the buildings. She looked down at the snow, in thought.

Vlad walked up beside her, hefting a huge container. "Hey, I picked it up for you." he said, placing it on the nearby table. "It's a prototype, so be careful. Uses magnets or something to speed up the bullets or something, I don't know." he shrugged, walking up beside her. "It'll be over soon." he said softly. "I can feel it in my bones. Winter is on its way and the wall of cold will stop them in their tracks."

Senka saw him come up next to her with the crate. She heard him speak and she nodded before she opened up the crate and pulled out the rifle. She looked down the scope of it, before she held it up to fire. She then put it back in the box and said "Looks okay" she said. She heard his later comment and she looked down and stared at the snow, thinking a little to herself. She wondered what she would do now after the war was over, it wasn't like she had a wedding to plan any more.

"You used to go over every detail." he said softly. "Oh well, it can't be helped. Listen, I have next patrol. If you could go up to one of the towers for me and be my gaurdian angel, I'd be most pleased." he smiled as he placed a hand on her shoulder.
"Don't worry about the future or the past. Worry about the now." he said, then went on his way.

Senka looked at him as he spoke. She then said with no real expression in her voice when he got up to leave "Whens your patrol?" she said. She stood up and picked up the rifle again and slung it on her shoulder and got the ammunition for it out as well and put it away in a satchel she had. He would be able to tell she still wasn't back to her old self. She wasn't holding the ring or tags anymore, they were around her neck once more. She looked down for a moment before waiting for his answer.