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Why do people use pms?

Jeufufns

Star
Joined
Oct 22, 2015
Searches haven't come up with anything in this direction so I wanted to ask it myself.

Now most rpers that I came across prefer pms. I personally adore threads so I might be slightly bias but why do people like pms more?

Threads don't have a character limit (from bunched up quotes)

You can see what the other guy wrote by scrolling itstead of searching through old inbox messages

The semiprivate roleplay section eliminates the need for privacy

You get more points on that nice little post counter on your profile.

So why?
 
From my perspective, I know that when I joined here couple of years ago, and was new to writing, I was insecure about my abilities, and didn't want everyone to be able to read/criticise, therefore I stuck to PM's.

It took me a long time to gain the confidence to come out in the open, and now threads are the only place I do write, however, when I'm approached by those who want to write on PM, I find their reasons for wanting to do so are similar to what mine were initially. Semi-Private threads can still be read by all BMR members, and another part of it could also be that some don't want their kinks/depraved fantasies out there in the open for others to see.
 
Mr Quixotic said:
From my perspective, I know that when I joined her a couple of years ago, and was new to writing, I was insecure about my abilities, and didn't want everyone to be able to read/criticise, therefore I stuck to PM's.

It took me a long time to gain the confidence to come out in the open, and now threads are the only place I do write, however, when I'm approached by those who want to write on PM, I find their reasons for wanting to do so are similar to what mine were initially. Semi-Private threads can still be read by all BMR members. It could also be that some don't want their kinks/depraved fantasies out there in the open, for others to see.

That could be. Though the best roleplayers I've met so far were also pm only.

Second reason is definitely something I can believe. Having an ccount registered here is one thing and if they don't want their boss or friends or family knowing what they're doing having an account completely biund to secrecy is incredibly practical.
 
I use threads and PM's. Threads because I am a show off, lol. But, I utilize Pm's for my dark and dirty fun. If I want to explore a certain Kink I will do it there. I am more or less known for romance and vanilla fluffy stuff. So, if I want to explore having my character tied up, gagged and beaten, then PM is the way I go...

So, there is my input.
 
I only use PMs for the most part because they're easier to keep track of :) The notifications are easy to see and I don't like to forget about any roleplay I am committed to.
 
I'm truly favour threads, I find them a lot easier to keep on hand with subscriptions, PMs tend to get lost eventually.

I agree with the above about how some are insecure about their writing, of just find it uncomfortable to be out in the open for anyone to see.

Personally, I feel I've nothing to hide really, no matter what I'm writing, so prefer to have it out for others to see.
 
I prefer threads because I like being able to easily browse up and down and re-read parts when things get unclear.

PMs are best suited to contacting people.
 
Leonheart said:
I only use PMs for the most part because they're easier to keep track of :) The notifications are easy to see and I don't like to forget about any roleplay I am committed to.


Funny thing is that that's exactly the same reasoning I use when preferring threads.
 
After years of no rp I find myself in three pm based ones, which is weird since I actually have a preference for thread. The reason I prefer thread is ease of reading past posts and that I have a love for group rp.

Now a stable group rp is something I've not really seen accomplished around here, nor have I managed to get one going.
 
Nihilistic_Impact said:
After years of no rp I find myself in three pm based ones, which is weird since I actually have a preference for thread. The reason I prefer thread is ease of reading past posts and that I have a love for group rp.

Now a stable group rp is something I've not really seen accomplished around here, nor have I managed to get one going.

Yeah I found that interesting too. I mean on elliquiy, futapalace etc. They have group rps but here not for some reason
 
I cut my teeth on group rps, I moved to gaia and flirted around their guild system before hitting the combat rp and market place establishments. So group rps were all I ever knew before I came to BMR.

It was a stark contrast, one which I never really gave into tell recently.
 
Jeufufns said:
Yeah I found that interesting too. I mean on elliquiy, futapalace etc. They have group rps but here not for some reason

I think that an RP requires a good chemistry between the players in order to be successful, and it is harder to achieve in a group than in a 1-on-1 due to the larger number of participants.

Aside: You're on Elliquiy too? I'll need to look you up...
 
Lurker said:
Jeufufns said:
Yeah I found that interesting too. I mean on elliquiy, futapalace etc. They have group rps but here not for some reason

I think that an RP requires a good chemistry between the players in order to be successful, and it is harder to achieve in a group than in a 1-on-1 due to the larger number of participants.

Aside: You're on Elliquiy too? I'll need to look you up...


I Was on elliquiy. Go to my thread about this site's ban system and you'll see why it's past tense.
 
Sorry to hear that, Jeufufns (how do you even pronounce that??)
Couldn't find any of those posts on E, and that thread here wasn't a fun read either. What a mess...
 
I love thread roleplays. I stalk the threads all the time, because i LOVE reading stories. And some people on here create SO much goodness!
Still i play in pm only at the moment. I would play in threads also, but somehow it didn't happen yet. I'm confident however that I will have a well-flowing thread rp sometime too!
I think the advantages of pms are that you can get into the heat of a play without feeling self-conscious about your writing. I mean.... I typed out two or three posts while I was already half asleep saturday, and rereading these made me whince. But they only made ME whince, and not the BMR community.
On the other hand - how many threads DO you actually read? I read a lot, and that means... maybe 4 a day. I think with the many threads out there, you are still relatively safe from feeling embarassed about your thread rps, because mostly it's you and your partner reading that thread.
 
Caitrionna said:
I love thread roleplays. I stalk the threads all the time, because i LOVE reading stories. And some people on here create SO much goodness!
Still i play in pm only at the moment. I would play in threads also, but somehow it didn't happen yet. I'm confident however that I will have a well-flowing thread rp sometime too!
I think the advantages of pms are that you can get into the heat of a play without feeling self-conscious about your writing. I mean.... I typed out two or three posts while I was already half asleep saturday, and rereading these made me whince. But they only made ME whince, and not the BMR community.
On the other hand - how many threads DO you actually read? I read a lot, and that means... maybe 4 a day. I think with the many threads out there, you are still relatively safe from feeling embarassed about your thread rps, because mostly it's you and your partner reading that thread.

Too be honest I don't read that many threads, though I have great respect for people who do. I simply prefer them for organisatory reasons such as better tracking of posts and notifications not piling up into oblivion.
 
I'm assuming that people PM roleplay for one of the following reasons:

1) they are shy about their writing be it their skill or the content of which they write.
2) they are merely very private and just don't want the world to be able to track their writing.
3) they want to ensure a quick back and forth style of RPing (reminiscent of IM, but with the safety and security of having things controlled on site should trouble ensue)
4) they don't want others to see who they are posting to/for...meaning, they don't want to deal with someone getting angry at them if they post to one person over another and/or choosing to post to one RP more frequently over another
5) they are just wanting to broaden their bases and increase the pool of writers with whom they can write

I will say that I fall into #5. Personally, if I can help it, I will ALWAYS choose threads first and, if my co-writer is wibbly-wobbly and on the fence about writing in threads, I will suggest the Semiprivate to ease their fears. Why? Because I do really prefer threads over PMs. PMs for me are like a last resort. Why? Because I sadly tend to lose track of them, forget about them, etc. They get buried or lost or just something. Then, they die out unintentionally and such is life. So, I do try to avoid them whenever possible, but I won't shun them if it's the only way I'll get the chance to write with someone.

Just know that it's a serious precaution with me....and I so apologize for that in advance.

Why do I prefer threads? Well, my inbox is a mess. It just is. Even keeping it organized with folders hardly works for me. It just doesn't. I'll be honest there. That bit aside, threads are nicer for me because I can actually see them and keep better track. I can edit them, re-edit if I so choose. They're easier to post against and re-read if I need to for any reason. I also like having something out there for any potential co-writer to peruse. I'm not necessarily expecting anyone to read what I write save those interested in perhaps writing with me. So, given that, I think it's nice to provide them a little something to get a feel for how I do write, etc etc. Also, as a writer, I actually enjoy re-reading my own threads and seeing the evolution of my writing. Because, yes...it HAS evolved. I can look at it and see where I've gotten better, where I might still need to improve. I like having it out there for me to seriously see. And if others happen to enjoy it then that's all the better. : )
 
I only use PMs for the most part because they're easier to keep track of :) The notifications are easy to see and I don't like to forget about any roleplay I am committed to.
This is me, too. It's easier for me to lose a thread amongst everyone else's threads, versus everything being in one, little spot (my inbox). I'm not completely opposed to threads, but I'm more likely to forget it or not follow up on it if it takes me more clicks to find it.
 
I am personally preferring PM because of the ability to keep track of what is going on. Yes you can use bookmarks etc but I find that I miss replies and keep people waiting I would rather not keep waiting, where possible.
 
Partners can be fickle; one minute they're down, and the next they're in the wind. And I'd rather not litter the forum with threads that die within the first couple responses, so I keep all of my projects to PM's. At a later time, I'll ask if they want to post a completed project to the forum. This helps boost confidence in their abilities and showcases pride in a story we worked to conclude together. Unfortunately, I've only ever gotten to do this one time.

Also, self-consciousness is king. Not everyone wants to be judged for their work and have it displayed to the public. Maybe they're afraid of how they'll be perceived. Maybe someone will think their kink is weird. Or maybe it's just easier keeping it all to PM's and it's not that deep.

Semi-private is cool but that only eliminates guests. Members can see what others wrote. A partner, or both partners, may want to keep the story to just themselves, and PM's are better for that kind of thing.
 
I also like to use PMs, Discord DMs, etc. to keep my stuff private, not be judged by others for my mistakes, etc. My k
 
Problem with threads is you have no privacy. Getting stalked for replies isn't a pleasant experience.
 
@Jeufufns
Personally, I'll do either one. I have noticed that there is a gravitation for PM roleplay's from the preferences of others. I wish people would RP more in the forums, though. If for no other reason, so that I could read their work when I am approached by them for a potential partnership in RP. But as others have already mentioned, PMs feel more private. And some people like their privacy. Though, I really don't know what everyone is so shy about. We have this big, snuggly blanket of internet anonymity. I am open to some subjects that are on a lot of members' "blacklist". But I would have no problem whatsoever writing about any of them in a place where any member could click in and read about it. I mean, as long as you aren't breaking any rules, it can actually be a great benefit in finding other writers with similar interests as you. This, especially if you have niche interests.

Also, I should mention now that peeps are outsourcing to Discord and other such host sites for the RPs. If you really want privacy and freedom from peeps looking in at what you're doing, I guess that's the best route. Personally, Discord is kinda cool if you have a big worldbuild project because you can organize it with all the channels. But the character limit is hella annoying. I love using google Docs for all my lore and character sheets. But I have yet to attempt any kind of roleplaying on Docs. I just use it as a linked resource.

But anyways, I digress. I actually LIKE for outside parties to read my work. I have even written some short works on-site for that very reason. And while I'm sure that the majority of members of BMR do not often go perusing the Forums to read random RPs being written by others, I still like the idea of the potential of some stranger being able to read my work and possibly appreciate it.

But when all is said and done, the BIGGEST reason I'd prefer the forums to a PM is simply because you can always go back and edit your posts in a forum. You can add in a pic, change a sentence or even a whole paragraph to reiterate a plot point or description, retcon something so that the story has a smooth continuum, etc. But in a PM, there is a time limit to doing any of that. And if you don't correct or change something in your RP in time, it's stuck there for good unless you delete the whole entry.

4) they don't want others to see who they are posting to/for...meaning, they don't want to deal with someone getting angry at them if they post to one person over another and/or
Yeah.... I tend to forget that people can be dramatic shit-starters. I guess this is a pretty good reason fi you are trying to avoid being dragged into a problem that wasn't even yours to begin with.

Partners can be fickle; one minute they're down, and the next they're in the wind. And I'd rather not litter the forum with threads that die within the first couple responses, so I keep all of my projects to PM's.
Can't you just delete the thread? At least the ones you make the opening post for?
 
Discord et al are great for rapid back-and-forth, but not so good for slower and longer posts.
There are multiple restrictions (message length, formatting, inline images, etc) which make forums more suitable.
 
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