My Bakery~ Updates on RPs and a bit of Cynicism

Next weekend will surely be the last straw.

I know this is also a majority his fault, his responsibility, and his doing. But still... most normal human beings should be when they're being too much or encroaching on another persons time. Just as I had predicted, this girl is just getting worse.

1. She IM'd or texted him at least once per hour the entire weekend (I'm sure she did it all week long as well.)

2. On Saturday when he told her he was going afk to watch Doctor Who with me, she just started texting him... (can't take the hint, woman?)

3. This morning she texted him because she IM'd him and he didn't answer so she wasn't sure if he was there or not (he was sleeping!)

4. She pulled this line (not word for word) "I'm sorry for bugging you so much... I know that [insertmynamehere] is with you and you probably want to spend time with her. I know you have your own life..."

Like... seriously? If you're talking to someone whom you know has company, what do you do? You leave them alone! Stop talking to them! Even if claim it's okay, it's courtesy towards the guest. So why bother pulling that 'Sorry I'm being so horrible, I'll leave you alone...' card. I can read that shit. I know exactly what girls like her want and expect when pulling shit like that. They want to hear the satisfaction that their company is desired even though the person they're talking to is busy and in this case... have company.

And of course, she continued to play oh woe is me--- claiming she'll never find love again. No one could ever love someone like her. Complaining that she was lonely and had no one to talk to and confide in (even though she said he was the third person she went to to confide in and her friends took her out Friday night).

Sorry for sounding so cynical but seriously... girls like this really annoy me. Their issues are nothing new and retrospect... rather petty.

And it's annoying me that my boyfriend doesn't consider my past experiences and suggestions. What I told him in the beginning is obviously coming true. She's going to be trying her hardest to consume as much of his time, to get his compliments, his company, his support. But the second a cute guy comes along, she will be gone. And my boyfriend will be left with a pissed off girlfriend.

Seriously. When we started dating, every time she'd talk to him it was her being all mopey about how pathetic and lonely she was. The second she got a boyfriend, he hardly heard from her. The second her relationship was on the rocks, she turned back to him. And now that she is single again, she is clinging to the guy.

I don't want my boyfriend being the surrogate boyfriend for this girl.

Stuff like this on Tumblr bugs the hell out of me. Especially the depression and anxiety one. All I see is a list of people trying to convince themselves that their problems are unique and that no one is going through the same crap that they are. And that just because someone doesn't go through it as often as they do, that their issue is less important.

Yes people do know what depression is like. Everyone gets depressed. Some just find their way out of it quicker than others, and some require medication.

I have anxiety and I'd never discredit anyone who told me they know what it feels like because they had a panic attack once. They had one once, so they know what a panic attack feels like, so they do know what I feel like. They are just lucky enough to not have to experience it over and over.

Update on myself:

1. I made one last attempt to get my message across to my boyfriend that that one girl is becoming a problem. I nearly lost it the other night when I was over at his house doing homework. She IM'd him and started talking to him, and I was tolerant of that until she started to once again play the game of "I'm bothering you, I'll leave you alone." Cheapest trick in the book. I ended up slamming my book down and snipped at him. So I told him this:

Yeah, I'm sorry, it just hits me in the wrong spot and it makes me feel uncomfortable and it makes me feel like my boyfriend is becoming a surrogate support system for another girl and I'm not particularly fond of it. Plus, no offense, just over the course of time dating you, and the patterns lately, it's something I've noticed with how she talks, it's a common thing girls do so they don't have to be blunt, and she's baited quite obviously, and sometimes with the things you say back, it feels like you're just taking the bait and potentially justifying and enabling something that she should really be getting or seeking from someone more suited. She's obviously a severely insecure person, and post-break up you have to be careful with that.

Like when she says stuff about being worried about bothering you, and claiming you have a life and things you want to do and she doesn't want to take up your time, etc. This is an easy ploy and trap (even if subconscious) set by girls. Sadly I've done it before, but I was also a lot younger <.< I've also had people pull this crap on me before. Like I said, this is an obligatory trap. Obviously it'd be rude to say "Yeah you're right, you are taking up a lot of my time, I'll talk to you later, bye." or "Yeah I am doing something right now... I'll talk to you later," so you have to say something like "No, I want to talk to you " "You're not bothering me." I have seen her use this on you MULTIPLE times in the past couple of weeks, and each time you insist it's okay, yet she keeps asking. It's likely because she wants to feel wanted and by saying "No one makes me do anything, I talk to you because I want to" you are potentially giving her a little fix of feeling wanted. And that's why girls do that. It's a way to feel wanted and appreciated without having to directly pry it out of guys. And like I said, seeing you being potentially used for such things does not particularly sit well with me.

If that doesn't get to him I don't know what will.

Also 2...

I wish I knew what to do about my aspie nephew stealing stuff. He's 11, almost 12, has no sign of stopping despite the various forms of punishment, and we're afraid he's going to steal from the wrong person. I bought a set of die from the comic book store for my D&D group and I left them on my side table in my bedroom while I was at my boyfriends over the weekend. I come home. They're gone. Hm... I wonder who took them. I asked my mom if he had been in my room and she said yes.

Does anyone here play D&D or group tabletop RPGs?

So we had our first session of D&D yesterday and it didn't go so bad for the first time playing D&D as a group and our DM hadn't even played D&D before.

One issue I think we might have is organization, role, and attitude.

On our first campaign we started off in the woods and we were surrounded by a pack of wolves and they were charging at us. My boyfriend and the other guy in the group suggested we take them and kill them. My friend said she had some weybread in her inventory and she was going to throw it at them and see if they'd take it. I joined in on the idea of killing them and my boyfriend told my friend that it'd probably be more beneficially exp wise and for our stock to to just kill them and save the bread. To which she replied, and this is what bugged me, "It's my bread and I'm going to do what I want with it."

This is my first time playing, but I have watched people play, and that just doesn't seem right to me. I think an action like that should be voted upon by the group. Granted, if she failed we'd still have to fight them, but it did take up a lot of time. She had to roll 3 times for 5 wolves. So that was 15 rolls. And in the end, we lost a potential 300 exp because my friend said She would not 'tolerate us killing puppies' if she has any say... it's a frickin' RPG. We aren't really hurting puppies. We'd be killing fictional ravenous wolves who were charging at us. Her excuse was that she was a changeling who can transform into a wolf.

Also, a few of us were ignored... mainly my boyfriend and I. My character is high in stats that make my character the perfect leader of the group and someone who would do a good job at talking to NPCs, but people would completely ignore my attempts to talk to the NPC, and my friend, wolf girl again, who is supposed to be an idiot (no smarts, no charm, no diplomacy), would be talking to the NPC to discuss the quest at hand and to find out more information. I think we should be acting more in character and if people forget that, other characters who are better suited for this stuff, could lose their purpose.

Got any suggestions or tips to get this group more organized? Note we do this over skype and maptools.

Okay, scenario question.

You're a new student at a college and you are at a rally where all of the clubs set up tables and booths to advertise their clubs and draw in new members. You come to a table that is surrounded by people in cosplay, and a group of them in the back are playing gangnam style on a laptop rather loudly (you can hear it from about 20 feet) and doing the dance, not the best, but they've clearly been practicing. What would your first impression of this group be upon as you're approaching the table?

Also...


Do you like anime?

Point at them and make them an example why anime fans are weird and need to learn when it's appropriate to be a complete and utter embarrassment to themselves and others?

I have no idea, general weirdness in a public venue pretty much only attracts people who are into that kind of thing already. If you want to integrate new people, try not smacking people in the face with it full force.

I want to do a Doctor Who roleplay so bad. Soooo soooo bad, but my chances of finding someone who wants to play the Doctor and do a plot that isn't necessarily smut filled is so hard.

Plus I have other RPs I should be tending to.

http://kapwned.tumblr.com/post/54944614292/punishment-tumblr-style-the-public-humilitation-of

Now before people start saying "It's not completely her fault! It was his doing as well!" I realize that and trust me, I gave him HELL. I'm STILL giving him hell. But you know what? It IS just as much her fault as it is his and she shouldn't have the satisfaction of being able to just abandon ship and walk away.

So recently I discovered that my boyfriend was cheating on me with this friend of his whom I had LONG called out was pursuing him (this all started late April). She is a rather clingy and needy girl and she was fresh out of a relationship, and it's actually why her ex dumped her. Coincidentally after the break up, she started to become significantly closer and more interested in my boyfriend and her means of getting his attention was the cheapest route possible--- the 'oh woe is me' route and the self loathing route. At this point I don't care if she was genuinely insecure and feeling depressed. I've been in situations like that as well, PLENTY of people have, and she was WELL aware that my boyfriend was with me. Hell, she knew my face and my name, she even put it on the Christmas card she sent him.

And since I doubt she will see this, I am going to lash out at her right now...

1. You look like a fucking cow. I'm not just jabbing at your weight, but your face seriously reminds me of a cow. Flaring nostrils, wide creepy eyes, a mouth nearly as wide as your face (all the more penis to fit in my dear!), your piercings are unflattering and in my imagination make up the horns. Your attempts at looking pin-up/burlesque fail horribly. Those chicks look damn classy, which you are not, so I'm glad you fail horribly.

2. I am going to need bleach and a lot of traumatizing images to get the image of your fat rolls out of my head. Now, I'm a chubby girl too (at least I'm the cute short and curvy type I suppose...), but it's girls like you who just ruin it for the rest of us. You're easy, desperate, and whiny. At least I have some class. I mean hell, I'm here on ranting about this shit that most others would just send directly to the broad. I don't value myself based on whether there's a dude currently getting a hard on over me (that I'm aware of...). And I sure as hell know to respect other people's relationships. Polyamory is one thing, but my boyfriend and I were not that.

3. In my one letter I did give you, I didn't call you any names because I don't like reinforcing negative terms for women. A woman who likes sex is not slut or a whore. But a woman who blatantly makes moves on a man who is in a monogamous relationship that you are WELL aware of DOES make you a slut and a whore in my book. You are a cunt and a tramp, a skank, a bitch, your vagina is probably huge judging by how big and tall you are, and I hope you feel like shit right now.

4. He wasn't really all that into you. He's a 25 year old with the libido of a 15 year old and the priorities of one too. Oh how desirable you are! You were actually able to attract a man and you're apparently attractive enough to give him an erection! Congratulations, you are a valuable human being [/sarcasm].

5. "Geeky gamer girl", hah... where do I even start with this? Do you NEED to define yourself with those terms? What makes you geeky? What games do you like? And what does your gender have to do with it? Congratulations again, you're super unique! That totally tells me you can totally hang with the boys and compete with their penis' with the bonus curve ball that you have a vagina! I'm so jelly right now!

But me...
- I'm an officer of my college's anime club, due to become president
- I've played more MMOs than I can remember... over 20 last time I counted (this doesn't include the other games I play)
- I have a 4.0 GPA and I'm in 2 honor societies at my college
- I consider conventions my Christmas time & I cosplay (going as Clara from The Guild at my next con!)
- I put off meeting Colin fucking Baker and Stan Lee just because I knew that if I didn't go my boyfriend wouldn't go and if my boyfriend went, you were going to go just so you could hang out with him. And if I had to put up with your cow face while at a convention... let's just say I wouldn't be nice despite my sweet exterior. And I was right (like I often am). Just when he decided not to go, you decided not to go, and I didn't meet Colin Baker. You won that one, bitch. If only you weren't so FUCKING clingy!

I think these things qualify as geeky or perhaps nerdy, but I don't feel a need to flaunt it because being a 'geeky gamer girl' doesn't well define me.

And when I said I was fine walking away and letting your skanky ass have him, I was serious. He's been involved with a girl who had a boyfriend and he was fine with it and he just cheated on me, clearly he has no respect for the boundaries and sanctity of committed relationships. You appear to lack respect as well. You two can have each other for all I care. Truthfully I gave him the option to choose just to give you a little bit of a blow. All of these months of effort! You probably thought it was destiny. You two met on OkCupid but for some reason it never happened, then as fate would have it, your relationship ends and he's there, the guy you almost had, supporting you and letting you confide in him, he says all of the right things despite your manipulative and well chosen lines that would pressure him into saying the right thing... ie. 'Sorry I bug you so much, I'll leave you alone now'... honestly? What the FUCK is he SUPPOSED to say to that?! He was so sweet to you (as he is to everyone...), it was meant to be, you two were falling for each other. Once sent away and now you were coming back to each other. Nope. He tricked himself into thinking his relationship was going to shit because I was busy with classes and work. He just wanted a hole to put it into. You were nothing but a hole, a loose hairy hole.

It wasn't love all along. I calmly gave him the chance to choose, and he chose me. He chose to endure my bitching and torture for some undetermined amount of time as opposed to what would essentially be sex with a crazy, clingy, and needy bitch.

God damn I can't stand girls like you. Grow the FUCK up, get the FUCK over yourself, and become a more worthy member of society.

Hugs for Muffin!

sorry about all that garbage... people are idiots.

I'm thinking of talking to my boss about our lead lab assistant, but I'm not sure if I'm being too melodramatic. We run the graphic design lab at our college. It's our job to simply man the lab, help out the teachers when they need help, help students print, make sure nothing is stolen or broken, and to do little odd jobs around the lab.

But the lead lab assistant is sooooo frickin hypercritical of us.

1. He once asked me to go make some posters. I got up and stretched, I stretched, that is all, and he said "Stop complaining! It's not like you were doing anything productive..." Uh, yes I was, I always work on school work while I have down time at work.

2. He had me install printer drivers for all of the new Macs in the lab. It took me about 5 minutes to do and when I got to the last one he came over to see how I was doing. When he saw that I point and clicks (apple symbol --> preferences --> printers) he said, "Jeez! No wonder it takes you forever to do stuff, you do it the slow way!" He then sat down and started finishing it up.

3. Last week, I and another lab aide were put in charge of cutting up mat boards. The other lab aide had finished up already and put his in the drawer, and apparently he put them in wrong. It's not really wrong, he just didn't put them under the sheet that is there to protect and keep papers flat. But these boards are foam core... they're going to remain flat, they'rep pretty tough, anywho... the lead lab aide walked up and checked the drawer and noticed it.

Him: Why didn’t you put them on top of the sheet? You’re supposed to put them under it so they’re covered.

Me: I haven’t put anything in the drawer yet.

Boss walks over.

Boss: Are you guys having a problem?

Him: She didn’t put the protective sheet over the boards.

Me: I told you I haven’t put anything in the drawer…

Him: I told her you’re supposed to put them under it. That’s why it’s there.

Boss: Oh it’s no big deal. Don't worry about it.

4. Just this last Saturday, he, another lab aide, and I were working, and he was watching the other lab aide work. He gave the guy some criticism on his work, nothing too bad, but what he said next bugged me, he said "We have no excuse for not having the best quality work, we're in here all the time and I expect no less from you guys."

5. Today he was talking about getting that one lab aide fired because he isn't as proficient in the programs as the rest of us which I find unfair because he's still in the intro classes for the program and we're only 3 weeks into the semester...

He's just coming off as a little too high horsed. Yes, he is the lead lab aide, but he isn't our boss. He's just got more responsibilities than us and he conducts the business, tasks, and manages our schedules.

It's like he expects us to be the best at everything. In my opinion, we're students first and foremost, and we shouldn't be expected to be proficient and knowledgeable in everything. The criteria our boss looks for is any combination of the following - friendly, helpful, responsible, tech savvy, design savvy. We don't have to be all of them.

Mind if I rant here? I'm feeling a bit selfish, and I wouldn't mind people's thoughts and opinions.

Is it selfish for a design student such as myself to thrive for recognition?:-/

Not that that is my ultimate goal... I do like graphic design, and I do like what I do, I actually like being at school, in class, working on stuff, this is definitely something I want to do for a living. Just being a lab assistant doesn't feel like work.

But is it wrong of me to have this almost competitive drive to want to receive recognition. I've talked to two girls in my class on two separate occasions about this and I got two different responses. The first girl said we shouldn't compare ourselves to others and try to out do them because we should really try to beat our personal best, not necessarily beat the best people in our program.

The other kind of felt the same as me. We should be trying to out do those who are considered the best because those are the people who are going to make it into the industry while the majority won't.

I'm probably considered top 3 in my year, maybe top 2. There is one student who just massively overshadows the rest. He's an older guy, probably late 30s. He works as a photographer and a graphic designer and since day 1 he's been an overachiever in his assignments. I can't say he's had the largest scale of improvement seeing as he's been really good since day 1, and I don't have a problem with him. Some people assume I'm just jealous of him and thus I do not like him. I'm not that petty. It's just that he receives a lot of recognition, appraisal, and is, as the department head has said in front of everyone, the star of the class.

He's a nice guy, don't get me wrong, and I know he's good, but yesterday he unintentionally did something that really annoyed me and I see it as an unintentional lazy move. I'm sure he didn't intend for it to be this way, but it's how I see it. We did magazine spreads. Here's mine for shameless showing off:




The colors may be off.

But yeah, he being the overachiever he is, sent his out to be professionally printed out. In the end it was printed on thick high gloss paper. Of course my teacher loved it and raved about it. All I could think of is.... why?! No one would print a magazine article on that kind of paper, not to mention finger prints transfer easily on high gloss paper, so why? And I know that because of that, simply because he chose to go out of his way to pay to have his magazine article printed on shiny paper, he is going to get much more recognition for the rest of us who printed on paper that is more closely like what a magazine article would be printed on.

Last year he got the 'student of the year' award thingy which comes with a scholarship and a spot in an art show. This year I'd like to try for it, but sometimes I feel like it's pointless with him here. As much as people may say to not compare or compete, this program and industry is highly competitive and the faculty has obvious favoritism and I fear a bias.

A lot of my fellow peers think I should receive more recognition because I've shown more overall improvement than he has, but I too show some promise in making it in the industry.

This year I have been working my ass off to improve and go above and beyond, but then I stop and wonder if it'll be worth it. Will I work my ass off to get a "Ohh, this is nice." from my teacher while the other guy will get "Oh my word, this is AMAZING!"

It's already happened.

Our first assignment in one of our classes was to make a poster for an art show about art igniting change and revolution and progression in the world and I did a photoshoot of a mass of sunflower seeds as an homage to Ai Wei Wei's sunflowers which he created to show the Chinese government that even though in a mass they don't mean much and they don't seem so different, no two seeds (or people) are the same.

He knew that was the intent behind my work, but he didn't give me a chance to explain it to the class. But when it came to this one guy's work, he was like "So do you want to explain to the class your approach with the photo?" :dodgy:

Can never win. Hell I don't even want to win, it's just... the best in class gets all the recognition. I got second place in the design competition last year and he and I were tied, going head to head for like 3 days, and he got all of this recognition for it, and I wasn't even told I got second place or that he and I were so close. I lost by 1 vote. I was told by another faculty member who wasn't supposed to tell me.

I guess I just feel like if I could get the recognition, approval, and appraisal of those who work in the industry, my teacher, that it means I have promise of making it into the industry. I receive a lot of recognition amongst my peers, but while I do not judge them for their skill level, a lot of them aren't as skilled or proficient in the software and design aesthetics, so of course my stuff looks good to them.

I really wanna do a Doctor Who roleplay, but but... classes and work, and I owe replies already.

But I do really wanna do a Doctor Who roleplay lol.

So, an update on my life this week

About 3 weeks ago I entered some work into the Addy awards ran by the American Advertising Federation. I entered two pieces, paid 70 bucks for it. I waited, and waited, and unfortunately I never got any word on my stuff. Another girl who entered got an invitation to the awards show/ceremony thingy. The rest of us didn't give anything, so I assumed maybe she won something and the rest of us didn't.

Wednesday my boss/professor asked me if I or any of the other girls had heard anything from the AAF about our entries. I told him no, and he said to not hold our breath then because if we hadn't heard from them yet, it meant we didn't win anything.

I was kind of bummed. To win an addy is a major accomplishment for a graphic design student. A great honor. And a part of me hoped I'd get something, even just a silver medal for one would do.

Then, Thursday night after getting home from work, I went to check my student email and there was an email from my instructor saying he got an email informing him that I had won 2 addy awards. Also, attached to those awards was a scholarship opportunity. He went all papabear teacher/bossman on them and bitched them out about never contacting me. The scholarship was due the day after they emailed him, so I had one day to write a paper, get my transcript, a letter of recommendation, and to turn it in. So, as an apology they're allowing me to turn it in on Monday and they paid for my ticket to the awards ceremony. I even get to bring a date.

And of course with great news comes devastating news.

So I recently met a guy. His name is Adam, and right from the get-go we hit it off. It was like we had always known each other. So much in common, but different enough to keep it interesting. He was cute, and so friendly, and he actually really liked me. He never straight up said it, but through some of his word choices and he he treated me, I could tell. I'm oblivious about this stuff usually, but when I can tell, it's gotta be true.

We'd been talking for a bit, not long, but only a matter of weeks felt like months because we just clicked that well. He was a graphic design student too, and one who liked typography, like me! And he dabbled in web design. He was a Whovian, and he loved Studio Ghibli. Again, like me. Every time we chat we'd find out more and more stuff that we had in common and it wasn't long before it became mildly flirtatious.

Tuesday morning he texted me complaining about how he wasn't feeling good. He was a diabetic type 1, and he'd been drinking pop the night before. He woke up vomited, and for the rest of the day he was feeling weak, was urinating frequently, and had a shortness of breath. But he seemed okay for the rest of the day. He texted me at 5AM the following morning saying he'd woken up and thrown up some more, and he was now having the chills and dizziness. I asked if it was because of his condition, and he said he had a feeling it was just a stomach virus. I was talking to him all morning while he was trying to relax and wait for it to pass. I had to cut him off a bit while I got ready and commuted to work. But at about 8:14 I texted him and asked how he was doing. He said he decided to not go into work that day, and was just sitting at wal mart waiting for his brother to run in and get him some pepto. We did some minor chatting about what I was doing at work, and then he eventually he stopped responding.

This was odd because he was ALWAYS texting me. Apparent by the fact that he chose to text me at 5am to talk about how he wasn't feeling good. And even if I wasn't responding, he was still sending me random texts, or would try to reinitiate a conversation which he never failed to succeed at doing.

I texted him at about noon asking how he was doing. No response. I messaged him on facebook in the early evening asking for him to get in touch with me when he could. I wasn't going to call him or anything and pester him in case he was sleeping. And then later at night I asked if he was okay. 2 days passed and I hadn't heard anything from him or seen any sign of him. I jumped every time my phone went off hoping it was him. Then earlier this evening (or well, yesterday evening) I went to check his facebook to see if he'd at least been online and posting stuff on facebook and I just didn't see. It was flooded with RIP messages from family and close friends. I'm a new friend, so of course I didn't get informed and I found out that way.

He died of diabetic ketoacidosis. And all of the symptoms he was complaining to me about were symptoms of it. It's when there's too much sugar in the body and not enough insulin so your body creates energy via your fat and ketones enter your blood stream, which are poisonous. It takes 24 hours of being untreated before it becomes fatal, and it was almost exactly 24 hours between Tuesday morning when he first complained about feeling ill and when I last spoke to him.

This has never happened to me before - losing someone I'd become so close to. I swear for weeks, we were attached at the hip. I was beginning to think and hope that something was developing between us. I'm sure something was. He was perfect, almost too perfect. I had a feeling it was too good to be true, and it ended up being so. I just kind of hope it didn't end in that way. I'd prefer he just liked me as a friend or didn't like me at all and distanced from me.

He was the first person I wanted to tell when I found out I won my awards, and he would have definitely been my first choice for my date to the awards ceremony. But he's gone, and all I'll have is a bunch of 'what if's.

Oh Muffin................. *just... just hugs you tightly*

darkangel76 said:

Oh Muffin................. *just... just hugs you tightly*

Click to expand...

*hugs* Thanks DA It's been a crappy 2 days. Spent a great deal of Friday night crying, cried Saturday morning, then kind of pep talked myself and convinced myself to be a big girl, distract myself, keep busy, etc etc.

Today I went out to go shopping for a dress for the award ceremony. Thought it'd be a good distraction and maybe make me a bit happy. I like shopping and I was buying a pretty dress and things to go with it. But, on the way to the mall I got a text from his niece saying that his dad requested that I call him asap, and insisted that it was urgent. I told her that I couldn't until later since I was on the road, I was with company, and I wouldn't be anywhere appropriate for hours. I later texted her again and told her a more definite time and asked if it was okay. She said yeah, so right now I'm just sitting here silently freaking out. My hands are shaking I'm so nervous.

I feel like I don't deserve to talk to them. I wasn't anyone significant in his life. I wasn't a best friend, an old friend, a girlfriend, or a family member. I was just some girl he'd recently met and became close to. But it wasn't enough time to deem me important.

I called and apparently I was mistaken for someone else. I apparently had an ex named Katie as well, and I guess from the nature of my comments on his wall, they thought I may have been her. But still, his dad spoke to me and I talked to him, I let him vent and talk about his son as much as he wanted. He asked me how I met him and how I knew him. Kind of hurt when the man said "Well I wish you'd have been his girlfriend," I boldly replied "I wish I had been too." He asked me to take down his address and write him and his wife a letter, but to address it to Adam so they know what it's for and it doesn't take them by surprise.

His niece whom was the original person to contact me has been talking to me on and off snce. I offered to allow her to vent to me if she needed. If she just needed someone to talk to, anyone, and no one was around, she shouldn't feel any shame to come to me. I may not answer right away but I'd be there to listen and respond.

I feel weird, I still feel invasive. I got involved with his family and this ordeal on accident. We hadn't even known each other that long and I still feel it's out of my place. I don't want to pry or intrude.

I've expressed this to them, but both his dad and niece have kindly said, "But you were a friend."

Very kind people. I can see why he was so kind. His dad reminded me so much of my own. They sounded alike, mannerisms and all. They both even talked a lot. Having a father who does the same, I didn't mind listening to his dad go on.

I'll write them a letter still, but I won't pretend I had this deep history with him or act like I was some life altering person for him. He's been unintentionally life altering for me. Even if I didn't end up falling in love with him, or dating him, or whatever, he meant a lot to me while he was in my life. He was great company, a good friend, and we shared and spoke so much those last days.

Just in the last 10 days I spoke to him. Over 1,000 texts between the two of us, and over 500 messages on facebook.

Actual update on my life!

1. Finished the main graphic design program at my college, I just need to finish my internship and 2 more classes and I'm done.

2. I got an internship at a local university, and it's paid too! It's for the most part pretty chill but I'm also really annoyed I won't have a summer break because of it. I didn't get a spring break due to work and classwork. I was on campus all break long working on classwork so it felt like being in class. Now my internship is going to last me until the end of August. It ends 3 days before the fall semester begins. Anyway, I just do basic design work and revisions to stuff they already have but need refreshing.

3. I will very likely be moving to a new house. Yay! This place is a piece of crap and it's getting crappier. So long story ahead...

When my great aunt Ruth died she left my uncle and my mom an inheritance of $30,000 to share. When my grandmother died she left them her house. So... they decided that when my aunt Ruth died they would renovate my grandmothers house. My mom trusted my uncle with it all. The house is in his name, and he had the money. That is the house we live in now. When we were moving from VA my mom informed him and he immediately had a mortgage opened up on the house.

He was supposed to invest all 30k on this dinky house. He and some of his friends spent some time working on it. They hired no professionals. At best they made it LOOK fixed up. They fixed all apparent damage and run down on the house and he somehow managed to open up a mortgage for 80,000.

This house is a piece of shit and it hasn't even been 10 years since then. The crawl space isn't up to code, crawl spaces have to be a foot and a half. Ours is only a foot. The bottom of the house isn't insulated at all like homes with crawl spaces are supposed to be. Because of this the floors are rotting in places. The foundation is sinking. Because of this the flooring is popping off and the ceilings are bowling in. There is mold in some of the rooms. The house is impossible to heat, the unit was use to heat the house doesn't like to work. The wiring in the house is going to crap. We've had multiple wires in the walls ignite. The piping is crap as well. The septic tank keeps crapping out. The well water makes us sick.

The real estate agent and my parents mortgage loan lender have both said they have no fucking idea how my uncle got an 80k mortgage opened up on this house because these are all issues that are more than 10 years old and no mortgage company would value a house like this at more than 25k and there is no way it could pass an inspection, which it somehow did (either by fraud or my uncle has connections. Either way, fraud).

So yeah, my mom decided she's buying a new house. She's currently made an offer on a home and had a home inspector go out there earlier this week. Now she's just waiting on the loan companies inspector to go out to it. It passed the first round. If all goes well it should be set in stone and the official handover date is set to be August 14th. My uncle is coming to visit at the end of July and that is when my mom is planning on breaking it to him. She's bailing and she doesn't care how this affects him.

He knew very well that our family was not in the best financial situation when we told him we wanted to move to MI (what with the kids and all). Yet he still opened up a ridiculous amount for it and let his little sister move her family into an unsafe home, on top of apparently pocketing around 20k of their inheritance.

Another childish rant.

I just want to go to bed but I hate going to bed in a bad mood like this.

I hardly got any time with my boyfriend online yesterday. And I didn't get any with him today. He texted me good morning (via Skype which we use), I texted him good morning. I then sent him a few messages throughout the day, didn't hear back. He eventually went offline a bit before I left work. He hasn't been online since but I know he's online. Steam notifies me when people start a game (I have yet to change the settings on this PC) and I was informed of him playing Pay Day, and then my email notified me that he was streaming on Twitch.

Can't even stop by to say hi?

Not to sound like a bitch, but if someone is going to do the LDR thing with me I demand at least some of their time every day. It doesn't have to be a lot of time or completely undivided. But I like to at least talk once every day and the fact that he is online in other places but not on Skype makes me feel ignored or avoided.

Nah, it's not childish at all. I fully get where you're coming from with that rant. *hugs*

You know what really grinds my gear?

When parents blame their kids for their habits and they don't even stop to think of what it is that they did wrong while raising them.

If your kid is a lazy little shit, it is YOUR fault. Don't sit back and bitch as if they're doing it in spite of you. They're doing it because the habit and necessity to be clean and active was not instilled in them. Kids need structure and consistency and determination and stubbornness on the parents part.

I get tired of my parents blaming me for the lack of help around the house. Every time my mom doesn't want to clean she'll say "You should be the one in here cleaning, not me!"

I account for a very small amount of the messes in the house. I go to work early in the morning, I don't even eat breakfast and lunch at home. I clean up after myself when I'm in the kitchen, and I leave no sign that I was in the bathroom. All of my things remain in my bedroom. She's got 4 other abled bodies in the house that contribute to the vast majority of messes. They have no regular chores. They clean their rooms every once in awhile, dishes every once in awhile. That's it.

My 11 year old niece can't even do a full sink of dishes. She'll do half of it and then stop claiming she got tired. And she'll refuse to touch a dish that actually has food on it. I was talking to my niece about how when I was her age I was doing chores regularly, to which she said "I do chores! I vacuumed last week!" Yes, and I cleaned the entire living room, kitchen, stairs, and upstairs bathroom daily when I was her age. Pathetic, yes, but it's my mom who let her get that way.

It annoys me how my mom will bitch and blame everyone in the world but herself.

Update:

I don't think I will be returning to this site for some time. I just don't have the time and energy to write right now and I do not foresee me doing so for quite some time. I don't want to say ever because that obviously could change.

But a few things that have happened:

1. I made it to the national American Advertising Awards. The biggest accomplishment I've made thus far. I'm the first out of my district of the AAF to make it to nationals (both students and professionals).

2. I graduated, finally. With high honors. 3.8 gpa.

3. I am moving to New York for more college (not NYC). I will be leaving in July. I will also be going to Disneyland with my best friend, her boyfriend, and my boyfriend in June which should be fun.

If there's anyone who would like to add me on Skype feel free to ask, but all I request is that from now on you just refer to me as Katie, not Ms_M, or Muffin, or Muffintops.

Just popping in to say hello real quick to anyone who remembers me!

Looks like my last entry here was an update, so here's another:

I graduated again! From the NY college I wrote about.

Still in New York. That's about it lol. Still trying to find a job post grad. The struggle is real, but I won't get into that stuff! Just curious how this place was doing. This isn't necessarily an "I'm coming back!" post. Sorry Raz, you'll have to continue to wait, buddy. One day!