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My Bakery~ Updates on RPs and a bit of Cynicism

Ms_Muffintops

Supernova
Joined
Oct 12, 2009
Location
Drury Lane
Welcome to my journal, where I rant about crap and inform my roleplay partners of my current status in life and roleplaying. The colored posts are updates on roleplaying.

If you haven't received a reply from me, check out this thread please and check the most recent posts to see if maybe I am having troubles, or on hiatus.

You might be thinking "Wow, that's rather lazy of you. Why couldn't you tell me?" Welp, because when my creative juices run out and I find it hard to reply, this usually goes for all of my roleplays. It's nothing personal, so this way I can get the message across to everyone.
 
Re: My Bakery~ serving fresh muffins daily

So far.. I have found a good number of some never-the-less selfish individuals. Not mentioning names.

I know a lot of people here come here to write out their fantasies, but... it's not my job, and it doesn't mean you can control my characters. It's just boring on my behalf, and thus... that is just selfish.
 
Re: My Bakery~ serving fresh muffins daily

Tip to those who talk to me online:

And for future reference..

I am ANTI-emo. That means I usually don't give a shit about most angsty things because most of the time they're just petty emo kid stuff or something you brought upon yourself. So who the hell IM's a complete stranger going "I feel like I'm lost..." I mean seriously, what the hell? Are you that attention starved that you'd resort to a total stranger on the internet and use the method of being emo?

Oh look... its a stranger...

He's IMing me.. better go and hide.

Oh wait, he feels like his life is spiraling out of control and he's lost, I better stick around and sympathize.


Nope, ain't gonna happen.
 
Re: My Bakery~ serving fresh muffins daily

Here's something I always wonder about on this site...

Why bother having a fetish over something that is totally unlikely? Isn't it just a let down when it comes to real life? And I mean things like Anthro, transformation, etc etc. That ain't going to happen in person. But then again, its the internet, and it's just roleplaying... you can do whatever you want. That's why its called fantasy.

But that brings up another thing...

How many of the people on this site do you think would honestly act as kinky/freak as they do in their roleplays? How many of them take part in BDSM? S and M? Blood? Watersports? I dunno... I'm a bit of a realist. I don't partake in anything that I know I absolutely would not do in person.

I giggle when I think of someone doing some real taboo stuff in a roleplay, and then being presented the same thing in real life. How would they react? Would they do it? Would they freak out? To see someone act like a total kinky vixen, and then chicken out if they tried it in person, would make me giggle. :3
 
Re: My Bakery~ serving fresh muffins daily

Ranting here...

Okay, I'm 20, and I still live at home. So if anyone is bu some chance reading this, don't suggest "Just move out!" everyone here is surely 18 and older, and mature enough to know you can't "just move out". I've been told this I don't know how many times, and I want to slap anyone who says it.

When I was 14, my parents got custody of my sisters 4 kids (right now they're 12, 9, 8, and 6). That means we cannot send them off anywhere. It's 4 kids divided between my parents, and I (I guess I'm guilty by relation). But since the day we got the kids... my parents essentially stopped "caring" for me. I know they care about me, but, I was basically below the kids on their priority list.

Why I am still at home:
1. I never learned how to drive. My parents didn't want to pay for me to learn. They wouldn't teach me and where I lived, if you had a permit, you had to have someone 21 or older to teach you. None of my friends were 21 or older, and I didn't know any adults who would teach me, so I was screwed. Also... they wouldn't even take me to get my permit, and they had to be the ones with me to get one, since they were my guardians. Later I found out this was all because they didn't want me to grow up too fast.

2. That fucking "ACCESS" guy at my school. Since I was considered needy to my school, I was eligible for free fee waivers for universities that I applied to. I could apply to up to 5 colleges for free. So I did, I just had to give them a list of the colleges that I applied to, and they'd send over the fee waivers. It was too late when I found out that lumpy never sent them. So I didn't get into any of the colleges that I applied to because my applications were never complete. But! I did get into the community college that was free to apply to!

3. "Obligations". My family decided after I graduated, we were going to move out of state, back to my moms home town. I wanted to stay in my home town, just go to community college, maybe live with a friend and then transfer to a university when I was done with the community college. Well, I couldn't find a friend to live with, and I couldn't drive. So it made sense to just go with my family. I was promised that when we moved, they'd teach me how to drive, so I could get a job, and go to school. Well, when we moved, things didn't go that way. My parents never taught me how to drive (still haven't). I couldn't find a job or apply to school because I couldn't drive, and my mom needed me at home to babysit the kids while she and my dad were at work. Not to mention, the recession... and I live in an area populous with factories that were closed down thanks to the economy... so it's impossible to find a job here.

Why am I ranting about this? These four kids....

I know they don't do anything on purpose and it isn't their fault, but argh, I hate feeling like I am one of their care takers when I did not ask for this and my parents do not treat me like an adult! I was a kid when my parents took them in, and thanks to my parents priorities, mostly being the kids, I lost my help and I never got a chance to grow up. They still treat me like one of the kids... to them, there's them, and the kids. But, when they need it, I am all of a sudden an adult and should conveniently be able to watch and take care of four kids (two with ADHD) whenever they ask for it. Often, they do not even ask or inform me... they just leave and I don't know that I've been left alone with them until something breaks or one of them has gotten hurt. But the problem with this is... thanks to my parents, the kids view me as an equal, not an adult. So they basically look at me as a bossy big kid, and when I try to step in and try to break up fights or just get them to settle down or stop whatever they're doing... they don't listen, at all! I've had some serious problems with these kids in the past. And I know people are like "Oh I know, I've babysat before".... have you ever had a fucking cop get on you because of a kid??? I have!

I was with my 9 year old nephew at the renaissance festival in my town. It was time to leave, and he didn't want to leave. He started throwing the biggest fit. When we were on a trail leading out of the place, he threw himself on the ground kicking, screaming and crying. It was the worst fit I had ever seen a kid throw. I'd try to grab him and pick him up, but he'd kick me and play dead weight and scream things like "Don't touch me!" "Get away!" "I hate you!", obviously it looked wrong. I know, it should be easy to grab a kid, but I am a short individual.. I'm only 5'1'', and the kids only a few inches shorter than me.

People started to step in and ask if he was okay, he'd just glare at me, and I'd say "He's fine, he just doesn't want to leave yet" and some would say stuff like "I was talking to him, not you", and eventually a frickin' cop got involved! I was being treated like some kidnapper. Why the hell would I want to kidnap that?! And at a renaissance festival of all places! But the kid would not let up, even when I had a cop on me. If you were a kid, and there was a cop on the adult in charge of you, wouldn't you kind of think it's time to give in? I know at 9, I would have. But.. he didn't, I had to get my mom to come get him.

That's just an example of how they are with me.

Why should I put up with that? My parents make me deal with kids when they do little to help me or support me...

Sorry, really needed to rant. I'm sure no one wants to hear it.
 
Re: My Bakery~ serving fresh muffins daily

I'm back! Sorry I was gone for awhile. And especially sorry to anyone I had RP's with. I had a lot of obligations that needed tending to, and my brain juices and attention span couldn't tend to RPing. But, things have calmed down... I find myself sitting bored at night between work tasks... so. I thought I'd give it another shot, if anyone will have me!
 
RE: My Bakery~ serving fresh muffins daily

I think everyone experiences child, selfish feelings every once in a while. I'm experiencing one right now. I know better, but I can't help how I feel, you know?

I can't exactly talk to anyone I know personally about this, so I'm going to vent this year. If you're reading, haha, thanks for reading my thread :p if not, you technically won't be reading this. Anywho...

Friends are very dear to me. I've never been very social, but when I get close to someone, I hold them close to my heart. I can probably name... maybe a handful of friends from childhood to now, who I hold near and dear to my heart. I'd have even more, if only they'd return. I'm a very caring person and if someone returns the feeling, I will love them til the day I die.

The person I'm talking about is actually a friend turned boyfriend turned ex turned friend of mine. Funny thing is... we were predominantly a long distance couple, yet I don't think there is anyone who just instinctively knows me better than he does. I'd like to think vice versa... I can read him like a book and you could quiz me on everything about him, I could probably tell you. We met almost 5 years ago. He was an English guy and I was American. We were playing the same MMO when we met. He was (jokingly) bashing Americans but thanks to the internet... I couldn't sense his sarcasm and got a bit offended. We ended up arguing. As fate would have it... we ended up joining the same guild a few weeks later. He needed money to borrow for a once in a lifetime deal weapon and since I had money to burn and I'm such a nice person, I lent him the money. He promised to pay me back, and somehow I ended up doing something to help him earn the money... I think it was farming herbs and making stuff to sell. But yeah, over that time, we ended up becoming friends. We started playing the game together, we were practically inseparable. Apparently for a good chunk of this time he was trying to subtly tell me he liked me but it took me months to realize that he liked me. Coincidentally I had grown to like him too. We never mutually discussed it or anything... we just fell into a relationship eventually and later decided a vague date for our anniversary. We dated for about almost 2 years while I struggled to save up money to fly over there and visit him. If things went smoothly together when together in person, then I'd make the plans to move to England to be with him. But making money was tough, my parents wouldn't help me fly over seas to meet a guy I met on the internet (understandable). He eventually grew tired, and said our relationship clearly wasn't going anywhere and said we needed a break. I didn't hold my breath. It's now been 2 years later since our break up and we did remain friends. I think at random points in time throughout the years he may have developed slight feelings for me, but I never took the bait if there was any (he broke up with me and we'd just be back at square one). Still, I tried to maintain our friendship.

But now I'm feeling like I've been replaced. I know and realize he's going to get other girlfriends, that's not the issue. I guess I just wished that even though I was no longer his girlfriend, since we had such a bond and knew each other so well, that he'd still consider me a close and dear friend. But I'm starting to feel like I'm not. Every time I play with him in MMOs, or get into group chats... I'm treated like an acquaintance, not just by him, but by his other friends. This is where my childish side comes in. I don't blame any of the people, I really don't, but I can't stand being treated like I hardly know this guy whom I've known longer than these people.

Seriously. I don't even obsess over this stuff but I can still point out very minimal details of our relationship (even as just friends). I know his birthday, his brothers, his best friends, I helped him with school projects, I supported him when he was going through the difficulty of transitioning from college to the work force, I can name all of his favorite bands, his favorite movie and WHY its his favorite movie, his favorite movie. Even just by the words he types I can tell how he's feeling and responding. Much much more. I know him. Hell, I know things he didn't even tell his best friends.

Then I get invited to a party with him and his friend , or girlfriend, I dunno, she followed him around like a loyal puppy, I assumed girlfriend. And I was treated like I didn't know him. She said something like "Oh its our little American friend :)" Our? Little? I've played one game with you... once. You say it as if ya'lls relationship with me is on par with each other. No lady. You've met me once, but him and I? We've known each other for years. I've known him longer than you have. I'm his American friend. I'm your acquaintance. I am probably one of the people who knows him best. And he may not realize it, but he knows me well too. And then she in a sense... spoke for him. She'd tell me about him. As if I had just met him and was now learning about him. It was very "us" "we" "he" "him" from her, like as if I was interested in their shenanigans.

I feel replaced as a person. I probably have been replaced. She's probably the new me. The chick who's supposed to know him better than he knows himself and speaks for him etc. When I'm sure I probably know him better. I've known the dude for almost 5 years.
 
RE: My Bakery~ serving fresh muffins daily

*hugs Muffin*

1) So glad to see you back, sweetie. Missed you. <333
2) It's understandable that you feel that way and you have every right too. Emotions and feelings aren't supposed to be explainable all the time. They just are whether they're rational, irrational, silly, huge, what have you. They just are and no amount of trying to rationalize or even understand them will change them. All you can do is accept them and try to understand why you have them at all. You've done that, so you're half way there. The next part is dealing with them. And, honestly, I think you're handling that rather well to, to be honest. You have your feelings on this matter and it's not like you're out for revenge or anything. You understand the situation and know what you're dealing with and that's all you can do. Venting is a part of that process regardless of it all. And this is definitely a place to do that.

So there you go. Know you have support and listening ears and those who are in your corner no matter what. *hugs you again*
 
RE: My Bakery~ serving fresh muffins daily

Thanks <3 Glad to be back =D though I'm going away for a week soon haha.

But yeah, I still find it a bit silly and I doubt I will ever confess to feeling that way to him, unless he pries it out of me. Like I said, he can usually tell when something is bugging me.

And its not just with him, that's with any friend. It's like the newer friend feels inferior and is trying to establish their place in the persons life by showing off what they know and depicting the two as one unit.

I guess it just hurts because I still care about him very much. Even in the little bits of time when we aren't talking much I still wonder how he's doing and if he's okay. A lot of people I know don't understand as they haven't had a bond with anyone they met online, but my feelings for this guy prove that it is very much so possible. I genuinely care about him and even now if given the opportunity to go visit him, even as a friend, I'd take it in a second.
 
RE: My Bakery~ serving fresh muffins daily

Ahh! This school is going to be the death of me. I just want to take classes :( I had to spend this last semester off because my financial aid didn't go through on time. Last semester, a little over a week before classes started, I was told I was randomly selected for further verification... meaning I had to get documents proving my family's financial situation and signing forms for every frickin bit of information I give them. There is a 20% chance of having to do this and I've had to do it both years I've gone to the school. And what bugs me is they send you forms for certain things as they receive the others. Like... lets say I fill out the FAFSA. They ask you to fill out forms about this, this, and this, from that information they find out you need to fill out forms for that, that, and that. And then you gotta fill out forms for that. And then at the end they give you another form of you simply saying "Yes, this is stuff is mine and this is whats going on with my financial situation"

I've filled out at least 6 different forms already. And just sent me 3 more and they're claiming my mom (I'm a dependent) didn't sign the FAFSA and I know for a FACT that she did.

Edit: Yup, confirmed. I looked up my FAFSA online. It says it was successfully processed which means she DID sign it.

Why does this stuff have to be such a pain in the butt for me???
 
RE: My Bakery~ serving fresh muffins daily

Well it looks like I won't be able to take classes this semester afterall. I was straight up told no because my financial aid would not process in time. So definitely expect more of me until May.
 
RE: My Bakery~ serving fresh muffins daily

I know its cheesy and an old method but it works so well!

In my thread I ninja'd in a secret code that could only be obtained by reading my entire thread. They have to give me this word or phrase when PMing me or else I won't respond. So I find it funny when people send me PMs saying they read my thread and they'd like to RP with me, but don't include the phrase I've told them to say to show they read my thread.

I feel OCD and controlling doing it, but I'm just so fucking sick of people on this forum just skimming and proposing RPs and then... your styles just don't sync up. If there is anyone reading this who has by freak chance PM'd me for a RP and didn't receive a reply from me... this is most likely why. Think of searching for RP partners as searching an online dating site. You wouldn't just see a face and go "Okey dokey that's the one 8D" You'd want to read about them right? What they're like and what they want out of their relationships. Granted roleplaying isn't a relationship, but as writers and creators, you have to at least sync up some or else you aren't getting anywhere.

So when someone doesn't give me enough respect to read my thread thoroughly, I will not give them the respect they want with a reply.
 
My Niece

I'm going to try to write this without getting all worked up. Each time I think about it or talk about it, my blood begins to boil, but writing is usually a good way of venting. So to those who care to read...

Anyone who knows me well knows that for the last decade, my family has been struggling with my sister who is a drug addict (crack). My parents have custody of four of her kids. 2 have been put into adoption, one died at birth, and she has/had custody of her 5 month old. For the past 5 years she's been in and out of jail. She spent 3 years in prison and then has been in and out since. She was recently arrested and it turned out she's going to be going away for awhile... I think a couple of months. Last summer while she was pregnant, she was arrested, and after she was released she was put into a second-chance kind of program where they try to rehabilitate mothers who have drug addictions or criminal pasts. But in case she relapses and goes to prison, they have to list 3 people their baby can go to if that were to happen. My sister left her baby to the baby's daddy.

The problem with that? The guy is a druggie himself and he is jobless and homeless. We are convinced he is also a felon with a warrant because he refuses to give anyone his real name. He just goes by "Sammy" and in the drug world... nicknames are made up for protection from the police. He is currently staying with Julius whom my sister was living with (Julius is also her ex...). He said Sammy could live with him, he just needs to be put on the lease and register his name to the address. Sammy flipped out on Julius for this and refuses to give him his full name.

Both my parents and Julius called Child Protective Services and they were all turned down because of this damn program that my sister is enrolled in. They said until she has completed the program there is little we can do since she has directed them on who the baby is supposed to go to (2 druggies and a homeless felon...) and none of us are designated to be guardians if she is arrested.

The thing that pisses us off is that they CLEARLY did not do a background check on Sammy. That, or he lied. He is JOBLESS, and HOMELESS, he is probably a druggie himself, and he is hiding from something. Yet my parents wanting to get custody is wrong?

My sister did this on purpose. She told Julius that he was going to be the legal father even though he wasn't the biological father. She convinced his son that he was going to have a little sister. But ever since we called CPS on her months back for an incident, she has been trying to keep the baby from us. It's like a game to her... and it pisses me off. It's not like she wants to be a mother. She simply uses the baby, she doesn't want us to have the baby and she won't let Julius have her because she knows Julius would simply hand her over to my parents.

Children are not a game! I declare it now. I don't like using the word, but I HATE my sister. I want nothing to do with her after all of this is sorted out. My parents aren't giving up yet, they plan on calling her case worker tomorrow and bitching them out for giving the baby to a guy who is all around unfit to care for a child because a crackhead mother told them to. But once we know the baby is in good care or someone from the state straight up tells us no, we will never have the baby, they aren't going to give up. After that, she is out of everyone's life. My parents have already long said fuck it to hiding her "condition" from the kids. They've been told their mom chose a dangerous and unhealthy lifestyle and she is selfishly putting their little sister at risk (we aren't being too blunt about it). The 14 year old has decided he doesn't want to talk to her anymore. The 10 year old and the 8 year old have no real opinion as they were never raised by her. But the 11 year old will be difficult. Despite living most of his life without her, he really looks up to her and gets excited to hear from her. But she isn't helping him one bit and we've been advised to cut her out of his life and to later explain why we did it.

It's not fair. I just want to know my niece is safe and okay. I know she is while they're staying with Julius, but if Sammy and my sister chose to leave, we may never see her again. Who knows where she'd end up.
 
RE: My Bakery~ serving fresh muffins daily

Update:

I really hate how most of my journal posts are negative, I hope this doesn't reflect on me as a person. I always try to make the best out of any situation.

Anywho. Tomorrow, or well, later today, my dad is flying down to Virginia to go to the courts and try to get custody of the baby. We sort of found a loop hole. It turns out my sister and her case worker in the mother-child reunification program lied about her following the requirements of the program--- she was supposed to go to rehab and NA. She went to 1 NA meeting and never went to rehab but they are saying she completed both. That is not true. Not only that... but Sammy is getting even scarier. He has threatened Julius with violence. He also nagged and guilt tripped Julius into bailing my sister out of jail. I think my sister was going through withdrawals or something because she called our house and started screaming at my mom out of no where. Seriously. Our whole plan has been on the down low. Julius only talks to my parents when he's at work. He hasn't even hinted to what's going on, and she just randomly called my mom and started screaming at her for taking all of her kids away from her. Hm... maybe her case worker said something. I think that was when Sammy threatened him. And yeah, it turns out Sammy does have a record and may have a warrant out for his arrest.

This whole ordeal has left me emotionally drained. The next week I'm going to be helping my mom with the kids.
 
RE: My Bakery~ serving fresh muffins daily

Gave my boyfriend an ultimatum today. Tired of being more like a mom whom he can fuck than being a partner. Told him if he doesn't take care of his shit for school, I'm leaving him when I start going again. I'm not going to be dating a 30 year old basement dweller who prioritizes gaming above everything else. The more he acts like a slacker, the less turned on I am by him. It's made our sex life suffer as its harder to get me warmed up and ready to go.

This may be karma... around the time he asked me out, another guy asked me out too, but I turned the other guy down because I honestly thought he was too good for me, and my boyfriend had a much more casual feel to him. The other guy has since graduated and is working for GE, and of course he fully supports himself. Still think he's too good for me.

Not saying my boyfriend was a plan B... I did like him just as much, I was single and had my pickins'. I wasn't expecting any relationships of mine to turn serious at the time and I felt more of a connection with my now boyfriend.
 
RE: My Bakery~ serving fresh muffins daily

Sorry for the inactivity. I think its best to put all RPs on hold, though I wouldn't be surprised if all of my RP partners have moved on, which is understandable. I didn't mean to just disappear. Just got super busy and been trying to get stuff sorted out. By time I'm online, I'm too tired to bother.
 
RE: My Bakery~ serving fresh muffins daily

Sorry to hear about your troubles; RL comes first though, so don't worry about it, my friend. I pray that things work out for you.

I'm a very patient person, so our story will be waiting for you when you have the time and energy to return.
 
RE: My Bakery~ serving fresh muffins daily

So here's a new topic (it isn't about family or school for once!)

I kind of ranted about this in the chat the other day, but I thought I'd share the idiocy of this guy.

I'm in an anime club at my college, or well, was, kind of am? I don't know how to describe my membership. I haven't been able to attend classes so I haven't been going but when I did and when I do start up again, I will be in attendance.

Since I stopped attending, this one kid joined the club. He's about 18? I heard he was in the middle college program so I assume he's a senior in high school attending the college. Anywho, I've never met the guy, only seen him via conversation on my anime club's facebook page.

I'll just say... I can't stand weeaboo's and the socially retarded guys in the anime geek demographic. It's like their world needs to be an anime or what they perceive as "Japanese."

Examples:

gygdt.jpg


Seriously??? While I don't mind the concepts of maid cafes... his proposition came off as rude and oddly specific... almost fantasy fetish-y. And how the hell is this appreciation towards girls when we are subjected to serving men??? Needless to say, no one was up for the idea, especially the girls. Only after everyone started saying that idea was a rather sexist, did he say he was just joking.

Later on down the line... (a few weeks ago)

oa0Bt.jpg


If you're an anime fan, you know this episode. You know it. Every fucking anime has this episode. The episode where they all head to the beach. And nothing speaks good ol American fun like grillin' up some eel and squid (we aren't even on a coastal state, so eel and squid aren't regular sea foods you find here...) and breaking out the bokken to smash a watermelon (had to look this one up because I didn't get what the hell we'd need a bokken and blind fold for... sounded scary.

And most recently... our club has been planning a potluck collab event with another anime club at the near by university. Everyones been encouraged to bring something. Conversation went like this:

Him: Oh wait, theres food!? Yeah, I'm definitely going
Me: Just make sure you bring something for sure if you're coming for the food...
Him: I'm more of the leech life type ya know...v.v

Then later on...

Me: Sucks... I can't find my old Pokemon cards D: Got some in my time capsule but its shoved onto the back of the highest shelf in my closet. No idea how my short ass got it up there. The rest are packed away elsewhere. Guess I will have to go buy a few packs.
Him: I lost almost all of my cards but I still got a few so bring me psychics and energies

Um... excuse me? Have we met? I ain't bringing you a damn thing. Did I even offer? Hell no.

Who the fuck does this dude think he is???
 
RE: My Bakery~ serving fresh muffins daily

Kind of bummed right now D:

I've been the moderator for the biggest fan site for a certain game (won't specify which one). For over a week now, our site has been down, and the other mods and I have been trying to get a hold of the admin of the site and get a heads up on whats going on and the progress of he situation. He told one of the mods that there were troubles with the ISP that the site is under and that he had emailed them. That was 5 days ago and he hasn't signed into MSN ever since, and he's the type that is ALWAYS online.

We checked into the domain of the site and found out his ownership to the domain name expires in less than a month, so we're starting to think he is planning on dumping the site and has perhaps blocked all of us to make it easier for him to move on.

The site has a pretty close knit community (much like many of the regulars here on BMR), its the main wiki for the game (seriously, the makers of the game even tried making their own and gave up cuz ours was better), and if its true that he's decided to just disappear on us and let the site die, I'ma be so sad D: We deserve at least a heads up so people can perhaps exchange information, or we can come up with some plan to draw in more traffic so he can actually afford the site.

People on that site were like a mini internet family for me, I'll even miss our resident trolls!
 
RE: My Bakery~ serving fresh muffins daily

Got another complaint to make...

I've known my best friend for about 8-9 years now. She's the type that feels the need to look out for others. Ever since she went to live with her boyfriend, her tendencies to do this have increased 10 fold. She is REALLY bad at it, to the extent she's simply coming off like a smart ass. She's very "father knows best" except SHE knows best. And if you don't agree in some way, she will dog you for it and interrogate you as a way of proving you wrong.

Years back I was going on a diet, the Scarsdale diet. It's a notoriously diet, but its pretty effective if you can tolerate it and stick to it. She too has struggled to maintain her weight, but her reasons are different from mine. Mine is my thyorid, PCOS, and a lack of regular exercise. Hers is a lack of portion control, a love for fried foods and starch (potatoes), and a lack of exercise.

I was telling her my basic meal plans for the diet. Basically these were my options:

Drinks: Tea (unsweetened), coffee (unsweetened), diet coke, and water
Fruits: grapes, apples, bananas, oranges, pomegranate, melon, raspberries, pears, plums.
Veggies: carrots, celery, broccoli, mushrooms, lettuce, spinach, couliflower, green beans
Meats/Fish (only grilled allowed): salmon, tuna, chicken, beef (steak or hamburger)

Oh and I could have 2 pieces of bread tops a day as long as it was wheat :p and cheese twice a week. I could use any seasonings I wanted, for dressings or oils, I could only use oilive oil or vinegar.

She freaked out on me and told me I was going to malnourish myself when she found out I had had a piece of wheat toast and an apple for breakfast, and that for lunch I had a tuna salad and grapes... why? What exactly there speaks of malnourishment? Because my portions were smaller?

When I came to visit her in WA, she tried to force feed me a slab (not a slice) of lasagna that was the portion size of my stomach, and only after I had already been filled with inari zushi, kimchi, and green beans. When I told her I couldn't eat all of that, she fucking scolded me like she was my damn mom. She later tried to prohibit me from buying some dumplings at the market because she had plans for dinner already. Our other friend got on her for that one.

And this chick wonders why she can't lose weight? Urgh!

Anywho, yesterday was my birthday. My mom is a bit different with gifts. She doesn't necessarily make them a "surprise", she doesn't like to guess what people want and risk getting people a gift they won't use or like. So typically she gets gift cards or gives them money. The past few years its become tradition with the girls in my family to go out to lunch for birthday and then to the mall where they can do a little shopping with money they are gifted. My mom knows I always wanted to shop at Sephora, so she took me to the mall that had a Sephora. I bought a few things, spent more money than I ever realistically would on the products there, but since it was gifted to me, I thought what the heck. I spent about $50, 1/4 of the money I got that day, and got 2 eye shadow palettes, a mini brush set, and some eye liner. All of that for Sephora is pretty good sadly. I know she's always wanted to do stuff like that, so I when I got home, I got online to tell her.

Me: Jessica Jessica Jessica :O
Her: Muffin Muffin Muffin :O (keeping my name concealed)
Me: Guess what I got to do!
Her: What?
Me: I got to raid Sephora >8U
Her: OMGYES!
Me: My mom gave me some money at lunch and we headed to Sephora afterwards and I bought a few things. I have no one to brag to so I'm coming to you
Her: Okay :3
Me: I got 2 eye shadow palettes, a really nice smudge free pencil liner, and a neat little magnetic brush set (I don't have a brush set)
Her: Did you get the one I linked you the other day?
Me: No, I didn't really like the colors of that one, they were too shimmery and I wanted one with bolder colors, and the one I got was cheaper anyways
Her: nice!
Me: Yup, I would have gotten more, I was tempted but I decided not to. I only bought all of the stuff I just bought because the money was gifted to me. Otherwise, I wouldn't even think of buying them x.x
Her: What you should have done is set all of the money aside to save up for things for your apartment :3
Me: Meh, it was only $50 and I don't really like to plan too far ahead. I like to wait until a road is paved and I know it is definitely something that is going to happen
Her: Yeah but it doesn't hurt to start getting ready now, the things you'll need will add up...
Me: I'm aware of that, but whats $50 anways? I just feel like if I do that I will jinx myself. I'll have all of these things and all of this money and knowing my luck my plans will fall through and the things/money will haunt me and be a reminder of what I didn't do. I don't get to go out shopping often, and I know a day will come when I won't have a chance to get these things at all, so if someone is offering to essentially buy me these things, why not?
Her: Because in the end, not having the things you need will outweight these things that you want...
Me: I know, like I said, it was only $50. I could make that at work in a week. And its not like I haven't thought about this stuff. I was raised by a thrifty woman and I do plan on going cheap when the time comes to stock up for my apartment.
Her: Those things do add up, it'll be more than you think
Me: I'm sure I'll be fine
Her: What do you plan on doing about furniture?
Me: Well, so far we're only going to need a couch and a table. I plan on going to the thrift store for those, or possibly just buy cheap from somewhere like Target or IKEA since it'll probably be lightly used.
Her: What about a book shelf? You're going to be grad students, and you'll probably have a lot of books to keep track of
Me: I didn't say I didn't have a book shelf... I have a book shelf in my room AND in the garage and I'm sure Kenny's mom has a spare shoved in a corner somewhere... I said I had all of the furniture covered EXCEPT the couch and table
Her: You're still going to need things like a vacuum and those aren't cheap, it's probably going to cost you at least $100
Me: Actually my family's vacuum cost $25, we use one of those cheap rechargable Sharp vacuums. They actually work pretty well for how cheap they are, just gotta be careful when handling them cuz the handle can break easily if you're too rough with it
Her: Kitchen utensils? Dishes? Appliances? Have you thought about those? What about curtains and shower curtains? Those aren't exactly cheap unless you want one from the thrift store that looks like it belongs to your grandmother
Me: If my apartment has blinds, I will not bother with curtains, I don't want my place to be pitch black. And I could get a shower curtain at Family Dollar for a few dollars if need be, and I'm not some Betty Crocker. For our kitchen I'll just need some basics and bare minimum which most I can get from the thrift store or from my mom's spares (she's offered to let me take any spares that are packed away). I think the only thing from the kitchen I might need to buy new is a toaster

She didn't say anything after that. But urgh stuff like that pisses me off. If there is one thing that drives me insane, especially from people other than my parents, are people assuming you're ignorant towards something and treating you like a child. This girl is 5 frickin months older than me, not 20 years. Just because she's got her own apartment (her boyfriend's parents pay all of the bills) and she's become some domestic mother wannabe, does not mean she knows more than me and that I am completely ignorant towards these things.

I don't plan on planning to move out until after I've gotten accepted into the school and in the process of getting a student loan. I haven't even gotten the credits to apply to the school! I won't be able to apply to the school until January next year. From then on, my boyfriend and I will have 7 months to gather the things we'll need.

As a bit of info, my boyfriend and I have very similar majors and we both want to go to a school that is as close to home as possible. The one we found is close, but not close enough for daily commute, and with how much dorms + meal plans costs, we figured we could get a cheap apartment or rent out a room or guest house. So we're just toying with the possibility of getting an apartment as a living situation for school... that is all for right now.

But because I chose to spend $50 that someone gifted me I am being irresponsible?
 
RE: My Bakery~ serving fresh muffins daily

I really wish I had a roleplay partner who was on during the evenings and was a bit more consistent with replying. I know they have lives and all and thats fine, I understand that, it just sucks when almost ALL of my roleplays go days without replies. It's like all of my partners are on the same schedule lol.
 
RE: My Bakery~ serving fresh muffins daily

Lol, it amuses me how you go on sites with me in the room, but will switch tabs when I talk to you or sit up, or come near you. A magical wall doesn't appear around you otherwise. I can see the sites you go on still.
 
RE: My Bakery~ serving fresh muffins daily

I had a pretty awesome dream last night...

I had a dream I was saved by Iron man (Robert Downey Jr. Iron man). It was pretty awesome, pretty hot. Lol. Almost makes me wanna do a superhero roleplay. Except I wouldn't want to be as Mary Sue as I was in my dream haha.
 
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