iFuck.com (Slimpies & September)

SexySecretary24 (0 miles from you) is here for hookups! SexySecretary24 has fucked 0 members.



About Me: Just curious about this site.

My Characteristics and Interests:

• Age: 24
  Eyes: Brown
  Hair: Brunette, Long
  Bra: 32G
  Height: 5’6”
  Build: Slim, Curvy
  Ethnicity: Caucasian/White
  Religion: None
  Smoker: No
  Drinker: Social
  Shaved: Shaved
  Pierced: Ears
  Tattoos: Some
  Fave Position: Cowgirl
  Here for: Sexy Chat, Casual Hookups
  Interests: Night Clubs, Oral, Public Games

It all started when Sam Cawood joined a sex hookup website, just to see what it would be like.

It was a Monday night. Sam was bored, and she was horny, and her fiancé Ed had sealed himself away in the study as usual. He was setting up his own financial consulting practice while still working at the bank, and Sam knew from experience that he’d be working long after she fell asleep. So she sat on the couch, guzzling chilled pink wine and surfing the web on her phone, when she saw the advert.

iFuck! Just message a SLUT and ask her to FUCK!

Bloody hell, thought Sam, what kind of girl would sign up to that?

She tapped the ad to find out. It looked more like a porno site than a dating one. Selfies of female members scrolled along the bottom of the screen, a sea of naked boobs and pussies and bums turned to the camera. Most of the photos were taken from the neck down, but one or two showed a face.

She could only LOG IN or JOIN, so Sam tapped JOIN and spent the next few minutes filling out her Slut Profile, alternatively tapping on her phone and casting furtive glances at the closed study door. Only faint strains of Ed’s boring snoring classical music emerged from it. Just 1 more step! promised the website. Upload a sexy selfie and you’re in!

Sam bit her lip, considering the risks. Fuck it. It wasn’t like she was joining Tinder or something where she might get recognised. She could just upload a selfie that didn’t show her face, and find out what all the fuss was about hookup dating. Who knows…I might actually get laid more than two nights a week! She scowled at the closed study door as she uploaded a couple of selfies from her phone’s memory to the internet. Take that, Captain I-Love-Banking-More-Than-My-Hot-Fiancée.

Photos uploaded successfully! The site reported. Now your profile needs to be approved. This normally takes up to 24 hours. We’ll email you when you’re live on the site, SexySecretary24!

Sam blinked, surprised and disappointed. Answering all the raunchy questions and uploading topless selfies had been a real turn on, and now she couldn’t even get into the stupid site.

She knew from experience that trying to seduce Ed on a Monday could only end in rejection. Her night ended like most of her weeknights did – bathroom, bed alone, masturbation, sleep.

When she checked her phone the next morning, she was startled to see that she had 258 unread emails.

RichRobert, 42, 1 mile from you sent you a message!

TotalBanker, 31, 2.5 miles from you sent you a message!

DurtyDen37, 38, 1 mile from you sent you a message!

MusicLuvr, 23, 2 miles from you sent you a message!

And so on. There was a little photo of the guy next to each message. What the fuck? She quickly logged into the site, navigated to the settings, and turned off all email notifications. This was crazy!

The messages kept flooding in to her mailbox on the site at a wild rate. Most of the guys were illiterate, scary, ugly or ancient, but over the next few weeks she messaged a few of the ones who seemed funny, or normal, or hot.

Overall, she mused a month later, it had been an interesting experiment. Having hundreds of different guys leave her messages telling her she was sexy and amazing was good for her ego, and the constant bombardment of sex talk had made her feel so irresistibly frisky that she’d actually managed to seduce Ed on a Thursday night.

She’d even met a couple of guys – not really met, of course, just messaged them a lot – who she thought were really nice. If circumstances were different, she told them, she’d have been happy to meet up with them for drinks. But ultimately she was engaged to Ed, and she’d told them both right from the start that she only ever joined the site out of curiosity. Both of them said they felt let down, and upsetting them was really the only bad thing to have come out of her flirtation with iFuck, the stupid yet awesome hookup site.

Her logins to the site dwindled gradually as she lost interest. The experience had become repetitive. Her inner wild child satiated for now, Sam shifted her browsing habits to sites that helped her plan the wedding.

Sam’s phone chimed, indicating a new message arrived in her inbox.

From: iFuck Members Service <members@ifuck.com>
To: SexySecretary24 <s.cawood@hotmail.Com>
Subject: New Member Assistance Service

Dear Member,

We’ve noticed you’ve signed up as a slut six weeks ago, but have not been able to successfully hook up to any of our other members; For most of our members, even those that have signed up as sluts the first encounter is mostly the most deferred but we are here to help with that. Here’s an overview of features that can help you accomplish that:

• Facebook Connect: Linking your profile to you Facebook profile will allow for our members to contact you through Facebook for instant hookups. Full access to your profile also enables candidates to message you much more selectively, and members with Facebook profiles enabled automatically gain access to each other’s profiles once contact has been made. Your Facebook profile is facebook.com/sam.cawood/ Click here to enable Facebook Connect.
• iFuck Mobile: The iFuck app enables instant hookups with members in your neighborhood. Connected members will be able to find and track you right to your doorstep at any time of day using the GPS function on their smart devices. No need to install the app; Just activate the service here. This service is free for new members for up to three months. After three months, additional costs may apply.
• Become a featured slut: Each month we select a few of our struggling members to feature in our off site banner and social media campaigns. With your face out there, candidates are guaranteed to roll in. Click here to enter the featured sluts program. This service may be activated without a members given permission, as stated in our user agreement.
• Get spoiled: Lose your iFuck.com virginity to an experienced slut-seeker. One out of a select group of members with at least one hundred confirmed fucks will be picked by one of our staff for you to experience your first encounter with at your convenience. Why not start your membership with a BANG? View our top one hundred slut-seekers here. Sign up here. This is a premium service. Additional charges may apply.

If you have any questions, message us at members@ifuck.com. We’re available 24/7 to accommodate our sluts. The above features will automatically be activated over the next few weeks, should you remain unsuccessful.

The iFuck.com New Member Assistance Service.
Satisfaction guaranteed.

Sam was at work when the message came in. At first she was surprised when she saw that it was from iFuck: she was sure she'd turned off all email notifications. For a random hookup site, they weren't exactly being discreet – what if Ed had happened to look at her phone before she did?

Mild annoyance turned to a stomach-lurching sense of alarm when she saw the link to her Facebook profile. How the fuck did they get my Facebook? she thought. Must be from my email address.

God, this was a bit close to home! Sam felt her cheeks burn with embarrassment. She was in the middle of typing up some dictation from one of the partners, but she decided that she had to nip this iFuck thing in the bud right now. The site had been fun, but she was done with it now, and the last thing she needed was emails from the site arriving unbidden in her phone inbox – or worse, God forbid, something dodgy appearing on her Facebook. She scooped up her phone and handbag, and headed for the toilets.

Inside the cubicle, she logged back into iFuck. There were hundreds of unread messages in her inbox. She tapped around her account options, but couldn't find any way to delete her iFuck profile, or even remove her selfies.

In the end, the best she could do was email support. She tapped out a quick message.

To: members@ifuck.com
From: s.cawood@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: New Member Assistance Service

Hi,

Please delete my profile. (It's SexySecretary24.) I'm not using the site anymore. Sorry I couldn't work out how to do it on the site.

Sam.

She re-read it, and decided it wasn't emphatic enough. She added a line.

PS Please don't link ANYTHING to my Facebook! I'm engaged!

It felt embarrassing admitting that, but she figured that a hookup site called iFuck.com wasn't going to judge her. She hit send, and headed back to her desk, feeling relieved that she'd averted a catastrophe.

Sam Cawood was quite right about the hookup site not being judgmental: the company behind the site and a network of many, differently named sites around the web did not care for moral standards nearly as much as they cared about revenue; And women like Sam meant revenue. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that a hookup site lives or dies by the amount of active women present. Men outnumber women on every single dating or hookup site by a significant amount, and while women are usually catered to and considered as assets, men are where sites like iFuck get their revenue from. Later that day, a reply came:

From: iFuck Members Service <members@ifuck.com>
To: SexySecretary24 <s.cawood@hotmail.Com>
Subject: RE: RE: New Member Assistance Service

Dear SexySecretary24,

Unfortunately, we are unable to fulfill your request for account deletion. The user agreement you agreed with when signing up clearly states that your free ‘slut’ account will remain valid for a minimum of one year, after which we hope you will upgrade to a paid account. Note if you should choose to take part in site promotions, your free account can be extended with an appropriate amount of time. We can however not delete your account at this time. You can review our terms and conditions here.

We have updated your profile to include your current marital status by adding the ‘Aspiring Adulteress’ flag. We realize that this might seem off putting but we would like to remind you that our members are not looking for a relationship. Being honest in your profile often has a positive effect and specifics usually attract the desired type of fulfillment. This flag will be removed or updated after your first successful hookup.

The iFuck.com New Member Assistance Service.
Satisfaction guaranteed.




Below the message, another message awaited Sam:



From: iFuck Members Service <complaints@ifuck.com>
To: SexySecretary24 <s.cawood@hotmail.Com>
Subject: Notice of complaint (4)

Dear SexySecretary24,

We would like to bring to your attention that at least [1] member has filed a blue balls complaint towards your account.

1.4 A blue balls complaint can be filed by clicking the appropriate link in a slut’s profile after at least twelve messages have been exchanged without fulfillment being given. As per our terms and conditions fulfillment consists of either oral, vaginal or anal intercourse, but may also be achieved through various acts of fetishism.

1.4bis A blue balls complaint will be relayed anonymously unless specified by the applicant and a full refund will be issued should the person in question exceed the amount of complaints that is deemed viable over a given period of time. At iFuck, weFuck. Satisfaction guaranteed or money returned.

At iFuck, we understand that you cannot agree to all of the offers you receive. Therefor, your blue balls counter is reduced by one for every fulfilled encounter with a positive review. Should your blue balls counter exceed [8] your credit card will be charged for the amount we refunded to our members. We’d like to point out that iFuck.com is not a social service, nor is it a dating site in the classical sense as described in our terms and services. At iFuck, weFuck. Satisfaction guaranteed or money returned.

The blue balls counter for SecretSecretary24 currently stands at [4]. You can find your current counter status in your private profile. Along with your status, you can find the usernames of any applicants that have indicated they are willing to be contacted for fulfillment yet.

The iFuck.com New Member Assistance Service.
Satisfaction guaranteed.


While Sam’s account was complimentary, every message she received was paid for. Every picture she shared through her profile was viewable only after a microtransaction. Sam’s free membership, aptly called a slut-account already made the company many times what she would have paid for a paid account and they would do everything — everything — to keep that revenue coming.

Their Terms and Conditions were dicey, but they had been reviewed by lawyers and even though it was unlikely they would stand up in court, they were substantial enough to be taken to court should a formal case be filed. This had acted as a proper deterrent so far, as no individual in their right minds would willingly get into a legal dispute with a company called iFuck.com;

The messages came in as she was packing up to leave work. Some of the girls were going for drinks at Pico’s, but Sam told them she’d catch up when she understood that iFuck had refused her deletion request. She sat back down at her desk and read both emails, very carefully.

What. The. Fuck.

It was becoming pretty clear to Sam that just clicking through the terms and conditions she’d agreed to had been a mistake. Just how much of a mistake, she couldn’t be sure.

After a while spent reading and re-reading the emails, she felt that she had the measure of the situation. They wouldn’t delete her profile, because her profile attracted men. They also didn’t want her to just lead the men on, because that led to men complaining that she was giving them “blue balls”. Okay, fine. They can keep the profile, and I’ll stop doing that. She tapped out a careful reply.

To: members@ifuck.com
From: s.cawood@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: RE: RE: New Member Assistance Service

Hi,

It’s fine not to delete my profile. To confirm, please do not activate Facebook Connect, iFuck Mobile or enter me in the Featured Sluts programme or promote my profile offsite in any way. Thank you.

Kind regards,

Sam.

She hit send, hoping that she’d read the situation correctly. She made a solemn promise to herself that, if the reply she got was favourable, she’d never mess around on a silly site like this ever again. She had learned her lesson.

Sam skipped Pico’s and went straight home. Ed cooked pasta, but Sam didn’t eat or talk much, distracted by a sense of unease and the long wait for a reply.

“Are you okay?” Ed asked. “You seem distracted, as if you’re somewhere else entirely.”

Sam’s phone neither buzzed or chimed as as far as her monitors at iFuck.com were concerned, she had conceded to her account remaining active and until furtner notice no additional services would be activated on her account, as she had requested; Not that it would be left entirely up to her.

As a matter of fact, she didn’t get a reply the next day, or the day after but three days after she sent her last message she received a new message, another notice:

From: iFuck Members Service <members@ifuck.com>
To: SexySecretary24 <s.cawood@hotmail.Com>
Subject: Inbox

Dear member,
Dear SecretSecretary24,

Your inbox contains [489] unread messages. Failure to login and reply to your messages will result in an adjustment to your Blue Balls Counter [BBC] after which you may be billed for issued refunds on your behalf. We would like to urge you to log on and answer your messages in order to avoid unexpected costs.

The BBC for SecretSecretary24 currently stands at [5].

Additional costs will apply if your BBC reaches [8]. Contact support for options to increase your threshold. The estimated additional cost is currently [€142.60] and will be billed to [VISA 3470 3767 4422 14 6].

Avoid additional costs by simply hooking up! Hooking up to any of our members will reduce your BBC. Sign up to any of our weekly or monthly events to increase your BBC treshold.

Events this week: Mercy Fuck Monday (read more), Fast Fuck Friday (read more).

We hope to see you back on the site soon.

The iFuck.com New Member Assistance Service.
Satisfaction guaranteed.


Upon further inspection, Mercy Fuck Monday entailed hooking up with a member who's been active for at least two months but hasn’t been able to hook up with any other member so far and Fast Fuck Friday was just what you’d think it’d be. An open invitation for a quick, backroom fuck without any of the social ceremony.

What the living fuck?

Sam, who in the last few days had allowed herself to believe her involvement with iFuck was over, seethed with anger at the latest intrusion. She could see now how this was going to play out: they’d promised a money back guarantee to the men, and they were just going to make her pay it.

She’d had to enter her credit card details as part of the joining process. The site had made it clear that it was just for age verification, and that nothing would appear on her statements – which was a big deal for her, because Ed always checked all their statements for errors. If Ed saw a charge for iFuck.com, he'd definitely look into it.

Ultimately, she’d trusted the site to respect her privacy. Sam was beginning to understand what a stupid mistake that had been. Unfortunately, there wasn’t a great deal she could actually do about it for now – she couldn’t afford to get into a dispute with them that had a chance of going public. It was infuriating.

Think, Sam. Think. She needed to do a few things. Firstly – get a new credit card, one that Ed didn’t know about. Secondly – she needed to keep her stupid blue balls count below 8, at least until she’d obtained a new credit card. That meant replying to all 489 unread messages, since not apparently not doing so was giving some selfish, entitled asshole somewhere blue balls.

Sam had been planning to go to the gym with Kat. She cancelled via text message, and went to sit in a Starbucks instead. She wrote one standard message, which she cut and pasted into nearly 489 replies:

Thanks very much for the interest but I’m not looking right now. I’m trying to be a better fiancé – hope you understand. Good luck finding the person you’re looking for. x

She kept the tone friendly and respectful, just so she didn’t rack up any more complaints. All the cutting and pasting took nearly two hours. A few more messages had come in while she was online, so she sent them the same response, too.

Before heading home, she tried to find out more about this Blue Balls Count. It had been a surprise that not replying to her messages could increase it. She wanted to get ahead of events.

What Sam didn’t realize while she almost mechanically copied and pasted her message into over five hundred replies without reading the actual messages was that she had sent the same stingy message in reply to several notifications she received from staff, the same messages she received through e-mail and then some that weren’t important enough to be automatically forwarded. Over a dozen of her carbon clone messages ended up on the support desk, each automatically creating their own ticket in the support queue which immediately flagged her account for closer investigation. Customer care was important at iFuck after all.

From: Alex <alex@ifuck.com>
To: SexySecretary24 <s.cawood@hotmail.Com>
Subject: Customer care

SecretSecretary24,

My name is Alex. I provide customer care at iFuck.com.

It’s come to my attention that you have either not been able to find a satisfactory hookup through our site, or have been purposely avoiding such. In regard to the Terms and Services you agreed to by signing up to our service I will assume that it is the first.

Therefor, I have taken a couple of steps to help you on your way. Firstly, I have flagged your account for our Get Spoiled program free of charge. The profile I’ve selected for you is one of our long standing customers and highly experienced with introducing new members to the pleasantries we offer. Hooking up with this profile is guaranteed to be successful. The member’s username is rrrr-mann and I’ve attached a link to his profile below.

In order to encourage you to hook up and get past any inhibitions you might have I have adjusted your BBC to [8] which puts you right at the threshold. You can either hook up with the profile I’ve provided or find one of your own, but if your BBC hasn’t dropped your credit card will be billed in twenty-four hours:

The BBC for SecretSecretary24 currently stands at [8].

The estimated additional cost is currently [€211.30] and will be billed to [VISA 3470 3767 4422 14 6].

I have also flagged your account as hard-to-get, which implies that members will be charged less to contact you which should increase your options considerably. If your encounter with rrrr-mann isn't satisfactory I will temporarily upgrade your BBC treshold to [9] and your account will be flagged as a featured slut providing even more exposure. I am here to ensure you get what you wanted when you signed up.

Regards,

Alex
Customer Support
iFuck.com. Satisfaction guaranteed.

Attached to the message, Sam found a link to the profile of rrrr-mann.

rrrr-mann (11 miles from you) is here to fuck sluts! rrrr-mann has fucked 114 members. 74 out of 91 of rrrr-mann’s reviews are positive.

About Me: I fucking love this site. Aiming for the top!



Name: Raymond Mann
Age: 48
Build: Buff/Muscled
Ethnicity: Caucasian/White
Fave Position: Face down, ass up
Here for: showing sluts how it is done
Interests: Oral, Vaginal, Rough sex

Sam was at her desk when she got the message. She read it twice, a mounting sense of horror filling her.

"Sam?" Kat's voice was filled with concern. "You alright?"

"I'm...I'm fine." Sam stood up quickly, gathering up her phone and handbag. She walked quickly to the toilets, her head down. She made it into the cubicle before she started crying.

How could I have been so stupid? It was all going to come out. She was going to have to tell Ed. Would he understand? Would he kick her out? She tried to think of a way to spin things, paint them in a more flattering light, but she couldn't. This was going to be really bad.

Unless...not everybody on the site was a monster like "rrrr-mann". Some of the men she'd met in the early days were nice, really nice. What if she reached out to one of them?

It might even be possible to talk him into faking a review for her. That would bring her BBC down below the threshold, and hopefully get the site off her back for long enough to obtain a new credit card. Yes, yes, yes. It was worth a try, at least.

She used her phone to navigate back to her early messages, and her two favourite guys: Simon and Josh. Simon was older than she'd normally have gone for. He was a former soldier, and he spent most of his time working as a bodyguard in places like Iraq and Afghanistan, using the site to hook up with girls when he was back in civilisation. For such a macho guy, Sam had been surprised at how intelligent and sensitive a soul his writing revealed him to be.

Josh was in his early thirties. He was a graphic designer: good looking in a hipster kind of way. He was clever, funny, and deeply self deprecating. Sam felt like she'd have been safe with Josh. Honestly, he was friend zone material, but she'd genuinely liked his personality.

Sam thought about them both. Josh would be the easiest to persuade to write a fake review for her. She tapped on his photo to be taken to his profile. She took a deep breath, and tapped the "Send a fuck request" button.

SexySecretary24 wants to fuck you! the site had helpfully started. There was a space beneath to write a message.
Remember me? Can we get together after work? x

Sam cleaned up her makeup in the mirror and went back to her desk. Kat looked up at her with inquiring eyes. "It's nothing," Sam told her. "It's alright."

Similarly, Josh was at his desk when Sam’s message reached him but unlike hers, his desk occupied a single bedroom apartment and not a soulless office building. Josh worked from home, as a freelance graphic designer. Most of what he did was online advertisements and portfolio sites which a friend of his coded for him and in person contact with his customers was relatively rare; If he met customers at all he’d meet them someplace neutral, where you couldn’t see his bed from where his desk stood.

The display notification that popped up in the top right hand corner of his screen merely displayed the subject line of the message Sam had sent: SecretSecretary24 wants to fuck you! The line gave him an undeniable thrill, even though every message subject was usually preceded with it unless the sender removed it manually. Josh hadn’t received a message from Sam in a while, but he remembered her. Even after she stopped talking to him he’d visited her profile to see whether she’d been on, his eyes lingering over the knockout imagery she provided. It hadn’t bothered him too much that their conversation dwindled, as was all too common on a dating site. Josh enjoyed the few messages they exchanged for a while, but he never expected someone like her — if it was really her in those pictures — to hook up with him.

That doesn’t mean he had his successes on the site before, after all his profile displayed a modest though gratifying three members fucked, and he had. Well perhaps not exactly fucked fucked, but at least hooked up. The first girl, Anathea, which he was sure of wasn’t her real name he had just made out with a little and the second date didn’t really get past some heavy petting in the back of his car. Most girls — sluts as the site called them — weren’t really sluts at all though the most recent girl he met through iFuck sure delivered the goods. She hadn’t nearly been as hot as her pictures made her out to be but she turned out to be a real tiger in the sack, not wasting any time whatsoever from the minute she arrived at his place to the moment she left. Josh’s toes curled — in a good way — when he briefly thought of her before he opened up the prompt that announced Sam’s message.

The message was brief and direct, unlike the messages she sent him before and in those she never proposed to meet up. With sites like these, if often happened like that: You talk for a while, then lose touch and then the urge strikes... only to meet up and fuck, and thereafter never hearing of one another again. Josh clicked through to Sam’s profile and gazed at her pictures. What a woman, what a body... She looked like a pin up. Josh felt his cock stiffen at the thought of her knocking on his door with every intention to fuck him and moved his right hand off of his mouse and onto his keyboard to reply to the message.

Different from Sam, whom Josh knew only as SecretSecretary24, Josh was single and lived alone. He wasn’t too confident talking to women so he used the site in hopes of meeting someone as well as hooking up; His fingers trembled with undeniable excitement as he typed his reply:

Hey. Good to hear from you. Do you want to meet at my place? I work from home so you could come over at any time you want.

He included his address at the bottom. Josh was a neat person, not ridiculously so but neat enough to not have to spend half a day cleaning his place whenever he had someone come over. He looked over his message, read it in his head and hesitated. He took a deep breath and added: “I want to fuck you too ;-)” and hit send.

Ok. See you later. x

The afternoon passed slowly for Josh. Would she actually show up? If she did, would she actually put out? Would there be something wrong with her? Was this some kind of trick or scam? Would she turn up with a criminal and rob him? Was she a prostitute? She'd told him she'd worked in an office, but that could be bullshit. Did she just want something casual, or more serious? They'd seemed to really connect back when they were messaging each other. He knew that she had a boyfriend. Maybe she was having second thoughts?

Minutes stretched into hours. Afternoon became evening. And then, a little after six, his entry phone buzzed.

Josh sprang up and grabbed it. "Hello."

"It's Sam." So that was her name. It felt exciting to hear her voice. He couldn't wait to see her face.

"Come on up."

An agonising wait, then a gentle tap at his door. Josh checked his reflection one last time, then went to let her in, a friendly smile plastered on his face. He commanded himself to keep smiling, even if she turned out to be fat, or ugly from the neck up.

He needn't have worried. When he opened the door his affected smile turned into a broad, genuine grin of relief. She was alone. And she was hot...although not exactly model or actress hot. She wasn't glammed up enough for that. She'd obviously come here straight from work without refreshing her clothes or makeup – she had that end-of-the-day look typical of office workers at this hour. Her hair was tied into a ponytail. She wore a grey jacket top over a creamy blouse, a long tight black skirt, black stockings or tights, and champagne coloured heels. She looked like the girl from the photos, but with all those clothes on he honestly couldn’t be sure.

"Hi." There was a moment's awkwardness as the two checked each other out for the first time. One thing Josh hadn't exactly been honest about on his profile was his height – in her heels, she was a good two inches taller than him. Would it put her off? She was just standing there in the doorway. He wasn't sure exactly what to do – shake her hand, or kiss her? Sam solved the problem by leaning in and giving him a little peck on the cheek. "So...can I come in?"

"Yeah! Hahahaha! Obviously." Josh scurried back into his apartment, nearly tripping over his own feet. "Come in, come in! Get you a drink? I've got beer, coke..."

"Coke please." Sam didn't want to get drunk until after she got out of here.

“So.” Sam was sitting on his couch. She’d taken off her jacket, and Josh was now sure she was the girl from the photos. A bit of her arm tattoo peeped out from the cuff of her blouse, and she was definitely busty. Her legs were tightly crossed, the hem of her skirt just showing off her knees. Was she wearing stockings? It seemed like the dress was thin enough that he’d be able to tell, but Josh didn’t want to just stare. Probably tights, he thought. Don’t get your hopes up. “Listen,” she was saying. “We’re friends, right?”

“Sure. Of course.”

Sam looked him in the eye. “I kind of need a favour from you,” she admitted. Sam launched into a detailed description of her journey with the website so far. Intelligent and analytical, Josh grasped her situation immediately. “So…I was hoping you’d help me out. Can you fake a review of me? Pretend we had sex? That will get them off my back long enough for me to figure something out.”

Josh had the look of a kid that had just had it’s candy taken away. “Oh..” he muttered, letting his eyes drop into his lap. “I thought...” he looked up at the gorgeous creature in front of him and she smiled. “Okay-- I guess.” Josh shrugged, visibly disappointed.

Getting friendzoned on a hookup site called iFuck. It could have ever happened to Josh and he’d better not let any of his mates find out about it or he’d never live it down. “What... would you want it to say?” Josh asked awkwardly. He certainly understood where Sam was coming from, but why did she sign up for a service clearly revolving around casual sex?

“I’ll do it.” he repeated with another shrug. “I’ll write the review. What about the picture though?” he asked. “We need a post sex picture at the very least. Are you going to do that?” he asked, momentarily glancing at his phone on the living room table. “I think one picture is required.” he repeated with some hope.

Josh wasn’t lying. It was one among the many shameless customs iFuck members held high. Message a slut, fuck a slut and take a trophy picture; Ah, and post that picture to the site along with a saucy review for some site credit and bragging points.

“That’s how it works.” Josh explained non-apologetically.

"Um..." Sam thought through the implications of this. She wasn't crazy about having another selfie up on the site, but in less than nineteen hours her credit card would be charged and Ed would definitely find out. If she could just get her BBC down to 7, just get iFuck off her back for long enough to think...there was still a chance that she could get away with this. "Well..." she asked Josh hesitantly, "what exactly does the picture have to be of?"

Josh reached for his phone, tapped his passcode in — four eight four zero — and opened his browser. “Well” he said as he clicked through through Sam’s favourite website and then turned the screen to face her, slowly flipping through a couple of pictures of the latests reviews. One was a headshot of an attractive young woman’s with rustled hair and a content smile on her face, obviously post sex; Another was a naked girl face down on a small bed with a streak of a man’s cum along her ass and lower back. Yet another showed a slightly older woman shot from the top down with a man’s dick in her mouth. Most of the pictures were very explicit, some of them during, but most of them after sex.

After going through a dozen or so pictures with Sam, which was odd in itself as if he was watching porn with stranger he lowered his screen and took the gorgeous woman in front of him in. Even with the worried look on her face, she still looked hot as a cinder. His eyes involuntarily glanced at her cleavage, thinking if he wasn’t allowed to play with those magnificent orbs, he sure wouldn’t mind having a look at them; And a picture as a keepsake, off course.

“How about-- I don’t know...” Josh said, “How about you take off... you know.” his eyes darted over to his bedroom, “...take some of your clothes off and pretend to have fallen asleep on my bed... you know... after.” he added.

Sam bit her lip as she considered her position. This was probably as good as it was going to get: she felt that she could trust Josh not to take advantage of her. She'd have to let him see and photograph her topless, but it wasn't as though he hadn't seen her boobs anyway. "I guess," she said finally. "If I have to. Just...none of my face, okay?"

Josh readily agreed. He led the way into his bedroom which, like the rest of his little flat, had that faint musty guy smell typical of a bachelor pad. He hovered near the door, doing his best to look nonchalant. "So, um, do you want me to turn around or something?"

"Nah, it's okay." Sam was body confident enough to take her top off in front of a nerdy guy in his thirties. She watched his face as she unfastened the buttons and cuffs on her blouse. She slipped it off and laid it over the back of his office chair.

Standing in her bra in front of Josh was a turn-on. Sam felt a little rush of hot wetness between her legs as she reached behind her back and unfastened it in front of him. She slid it off of her body, baring her breasts to Josh.

"Wow," he murmured as she laid her bra over the back of his chair. "They're amazing."

"Thanks." Sam took the comment in her stride; she knew what effect her boobs had on blokes. She kicked her heels off, and climbed into his bed, slipping under his duvet.

She sat up, arranging the duvet around her waist, hiding the fact that she was still wearing her skirt and tights. Josh moved closer with his phone, lining up the shot. "Okay...how d'you wanna do this?" she asked. "No face, remember?"

Even though Sam was probably the best looking chick that had ever graced his bed a tormenting sigh passed by Josh’ lips vexed that he was not allowed near her, let alone in the bed with her and he could feel the swell in his pants by the mere thought of doing so regardless. Those sheets were not going to get washed anytime soon.

Josh held up his phone and took a few snaps of Sam’s magnificent pair and inspected his screen for the resulting picture: a topless, beautiful woman bathing in a pool of sheets — his sheets. The picture didn’t have her face, like she had asked, but sensuously included her mouth.

“Perhaps-- lay back like you’ve... passed out after.” Josh spoke hesitantly, and then took another shot; With Sam’s face to the side this time. “Are you sure you don’t want to...?” he tried, but Sam promptly shook her head and reached for her clothes. She didn’t stay long after that, there was no reason to. She thanked him, gave him a peck on the cheek and left him to his own devices. Disappointed, Josh fell back into his desk chair flipping through the pictures he took. None had her face in it, as requested. His erection had vanished just as quickly as Sam had left and he was so bummed by the whole encounter that he didn’t even feel like masturbating at the time. He did that an hour or so later, after his desires rekindled from writing the review.

SecretSecretary24 is a great fuck.

Josh sighed audibly as he lie-typed.

Fantastic body. Amazing tits. Very loud. Orgasmic. Likes having her picture taken.

iFuck reviews were never really wordy, they were short and objectifying. Below the text entry he checked a couple of checkboxes that would denote the activities the pair had engaged in. They would appear underneath the review once he submitted it. Vaginal; Check. Oral; Check. Josh looked over the others looking for something else to check but she hadn’t been clear about that so he left it with the initial two: the most common denominators; And then he posted the review, along with one frontal picture most prominently showing off Sam’s terrific breasts and one of the shots wherein she lie face down on the bed.

When Sam checked the site later that day, she’d find her profile updated.

SexySecretary24 (0 miles from you) is here for hookups! SexySecretary24 has fucked 1 member.

A green star had appeared alongside her name and her public feed had come alive with fresh news.

SexySecretary24 has fucked CreativJosh.
SexySecretary24’s iFuck cherry was popped by CreativJosh.
CreativJosh has posted a review for SexySecretary24
CreativJosh has rated SexySecretary24 a top-notch slut.

Your BBC has been adjusted to [7].
You have 110 new messages.

Friday night was Date Night. Ed took her to Matsuri, a very expensive teppanyaki restaurant – Sam had fallen in love with the circus-like spectacle of a chef cooking marinated scraps of fish and meat in gouts of flame right there at the table.

Sam and Ed were favoured diners there – she being charming and flirty, he being a fine wine connoisseur and very good tipper – so the head chef showed no irritation that they arrived twenty minutes after their booking. “Konichiwa, sensei,” she greeted him with a solemn bow. She looked ravishing in a short and clingy black dress, black stockings, and strappy heels. “Omata-seshi-mashita.” I apologise for my lateness. Akihito laughed delightedly, tickled that she had taken the time to learn how to say that in his language.

Dinner was delicious and amazing. The couple chatted happily with each other and Akihito, drained six cocktails and a bottle of French red, and departed arm in arm. Sam was in a great mood, drunk both on alcohol and a sense of triumph and relief at having outwitted iFuck, at least for one weekend.

Thinking of iFuck...the modelling session at Josh’s had made her feel especially frisky. She’d spent most of the night pawing Ed’s thigh and crotch under the table, and once they were in the back of a cab she wasted no time launching into a passionate makeout session on the back seat. “Baby, the driver…” Ed protested between wet kisses.

“He doesn’t care,” Sam insisted. She wrapped a leg around her fiancé, giving the driver an eyeful of bum, stockings and naked thigh. She imagined him adjusting his rear view mirror to check her out and the thought made her even more aroused. Sam guided Ed’s hand between her legs, felt his fingers touch her through the wet fabric of her thong. His touch was electric and she bit his lip to stop crying out as his finger slipped inside her, right on the back seat of the cab.

They reached their apartment. Ed paid the driver and wished him goodnight – “Not as good as your night’s gonna be, mate,” was his sour reply – and back in the bedroom made love to Sam for the first time that week. True to Josh’s fantasy review, which she had read in Matsuri’s bathroom on her smartphone, Sam was indeed very loud and orgasmic.

The next morning, Josh received an iFuck message from Sam. He was excited to see it had a picture attachment: but disappointed when he opened it up and found it was just a photo of Batman.

Thanks Josh, read her message. You’re my superhero. x

Sam had logged into iFuck as soon as Ed had started working. She needed to keep her stupid Blue Balls Count at 7 for the rest of the year now and she didn’t want to take any chances. She went through the hundreds of messages in her inbox and pasted out a reply to each:

Thanks for the message. I’m too busy with work right now for dating, but I’ll update my profile when I'm free again. Good luck on the site in the meantime. x

Doing this every day was going to be tedious, but Sam needed to stay off the radar until she could figure out a permanent solution. She probably needed the help of someone good at IT to help her with that. Maybe Josh? He seemed quite geeky, and Sam had noticed he had a big computer in his bedroom. She messaged him again. Hey Batman. Can I see you again next week? x

Josh stared at his screen and sighed deeply. What was this woman’s game? The mostly blank reply he had begun to type merely said ‘Sure,’ but that was all he had. He wanted to put something witty along with it or pick an image to send but he had nothing. Aggravated, he hammered the backspace button on his keyboard and started anew:

Hey. Don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t think we should meet again. Last time has left me... wanting.

His mind wandered to her sprawled on his bed and he felt his cock swell merely thinking of her. He leaned back in his chair and let his right hand drop into his lap, rubbing his now erect member through the fabric of his jeans. With an exasperated sigh, he brought his hands back to his keyboard — ironically without satisfying himself — and added:

Unless maybe you want to make up for last week?

“Thats... so sad Josh.” he muttered to himself. “God dammit.” But he sent the message anyway.

Josh’s message was highlighted all the way on top of Sam’s message queue since they had now been flagged as iFuck’s equivalent of Facebook friends, except according to iFuck friends invariably came with benefits. There was another message below, also highlighted; Not because of the former, but because of the sender had paid extra to put his message in the spotlight.

Hello Sam

I know it’s you Never ever would I have taken you for a woman that’s on iFuck but I’m excited to finally see what you’ve been keeping from us under those modest blouses you wear at work. Not that I expected your tits to be any less than glorious ;-)

Does Ed know about this? He doesn’t doesn’t he? You’ve picked the right nickname all right. Naughty little slut are you?

We should have fun together

Michael.

If that message didn’t cut off Sam’s breath nothing would. Michael was a technician at the place Sam worked and while they didn’t actually work together, they did occasionally run into one another and even though she didn’t flaunt it, an occasional rolled up sleeve on a hot day had showed him her lower arm tattoo and he had nigh instantly recognized her from the selfie on her profile. Her hair and posture matched, and he had seen her wear that necklace before: he was absolutely sure it was her. Michael himself was not particularly attractive but not repulsive either and he took care of his appearance; After looking at his profile Sam would easily see why.

Michael1976 (1 miles from you) is here to fuck sluts! Michael1976 has fucked 23 members. 15 out of 16 of Michael1976’s reviews are positive.

About Me: Hello ladies. I’ll show you a good time.


Name: Michael K.
Age: 38
Build: Lean
Ethnicity: Caucasian/White
Fave Position: Doggy,
Here for: casual sex
Interests: tie up games, mild bdsm (top), secretary/babysitter roleplay games, hot sex.

Back in Sam’s inbox, a third highlighted message awaited, this one was a request:

Michael1976 wants to fuck you!

Michael got a calm and dismissive reply a little later.

Sry to disappoint u but my name's not Sam. Nice try tho!x

Back at her desk, Sam was feeling anything but calm and dismissive. Since school she'd always been good at charming her way out of sticky situations – so good, in fact, that being unmistakably caught was an experience she hadn't felt since she was a little girl. Guilt, shame and fear were not emotions she was accustomed to. Sat at her desk, unable to think about her work, she felt like she was drowning in them.

Focus, Sam, she commanded, trying to fight down the sense of panic that kept bubbling up inside her. Don't have a panic attack. Was she going to have a panic attack? Maybe pretending to faint would get her sent home. No...that'd be too obvious.

Michael would make contact. She knew that. She had to play it cool and trust that she could sow enough doubt in his mind that he backed off. It was her only chance. You can do this, she told herself. He can't be sure it's you. You're not the only secretary in the city with big tits and a tattoo.