TACOS!!!!!!! (G23 & Dragonfoot455)

"I WILL HAVE TACOS AND I WILL HAVE THEM NOW!!"

Deadpool glowered at the woman...or did he? His mask made his facial expressions so hard to read. he kept the killerlotter rifle pointed at the woman while he scratched his temple with his knife...Mr. Stabby.

The woman stared at him in horror unsure who this exceptionally well built man in the skin tight red and black suit wanted. She didn't speak English. And this was a Chinese restaurant.

DP looked back at the woman. Why isn't she taking our order? I'm not sure. She seems confused.... I THINK SHE IS HIDING ALL THE TACOS!!!!

Deadpool growled then giggled. "very Wolverine...now you!" He pointed Mr. Stabby at the woman now. "WHERE BE THE TACOS!!" the women gibbered in her native tongue. DP sighed and pulled the trigger and the killerlotter launched a large purple boxing glove knocking her out. "i'll just get them myself then."

He walked into the kitchen ignoring the screams of the customers or the cooks. "Where are the GD tacos!?!?!"

His left hand shot out and grabbed one of the cooks. "¿DÓNDE ESTÁN LOS TACOS !?! ?" The cook shook his head not understanding at all so Cable...no Deadpool tossed him into the oven...dishwasher...thingy. He then set to work WE HATE WORK looking for those precious tacos!

I'm pretty sure this is a Chinese restaurant. "Why?" Yeah Why?!?! There are fortune cookies. "COOKIES?!"

Fifteen minutes and about a thousand fortune cookies, and their lame ass fortunes, later Deadpool was back in his totally not stolen Spidermobile to head back to his totally awesome superpad.

he was just turning the key when it asploded!! Deadpool looked up...down...sideways? "Oh damn...its that guy...what's his name?" I think it's Asshat!

It is never Asshat. That's Juggernaut...he seems upset.

"Juggy baby!!! What's wrong? Did Charlie steal your binky again?"

Juggernaut roared and reared back for a punch.

Would it be the end for our hero? Would Deadpool survive? Much more importantly would he be able to hook up with the hot X-Men babes ever again? And would he get his tacos? Tune in next week to find out!

To the common eye Alyissa looked like a normal doe eyed beauty of a Irish lass. And well she was.. mostly, despite the enhanced combat skills and strength Being raised among blood thirty Bikers will do that to a person, Alyissa had moved to the closet Chapter of the next Biker gang to weed out the Undercover cop that had been rumoured of sneaking around. Five months she had been stuck in the shithole of a Town to track this possible threat down. Waitressing at a Chinese restaurant wasn't so bad for a cover up, You could get keep a close eye on your target and get all the Fried rice you wanted. There was the occasional robbery of the old Couple that owned it she didn't mind her pay check being delayed for a fifth time, after all it wasn't their fault. Alyissa had just ended her shift. Walking home by herself, she didn't fear walking around at night like most females were. Supposivly there was a Mutant from The X-men that lived by so it could be worse.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!- Excuse me Miss- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

And that was how Alyissa met Deadpool. He had been hurtling through the air over the street, shrieking in ...terror? When he had spotted her and grinned, teleported to her side and spoken politely, then had somehow resumed his headlong flight into a nearby wall, closely pursued by Juggernaut.

"Did you see that babe?" Yeah! She's smoking hot!


She is rather attractive yes. Hey focus! DP only just quit flexing, yes while stuck in a wall, in time to duck under Juggernaut's cow like fist, then yanked a pistol and fired point blank right into the huge man's face making him howl in pain as the bullet was now bouncing around his helmet.

Deadpool teleported again, once more landing beside Alyissa and leaning against the wall casually but also blocking her path. "So....you like pancakes?"

The last thing she expected was to have a masked maniac over her head crashing into a brick wall behind her, somehow me managed to catcall her in mid flight. "Holy shit are you ok?!" she asked checking him over. Nothing looked broken besides a smug look under his mask Is he flirting with me? she thought raising an eyebrow when he blocked her way while the larger Mutant seemed to be throwing a tantrum from the minor wound "I uh..yes" she said before smirking at his seductive pose.

He must be the 'Merc with a mouth' she had heard so much about "You must be Deadpool" Alyissa mused with the corners of her mouth turning into a mischievous grin "I've heard some interesting things about you"

"Yes. I am. Everything is true...except the zombie thing. Totally not true... but everything else, especially that i am handsome,Insane, a terrific kisser, Homicidal, wonderful with....kids, hate clowns, and fantastic in bed are all true."

We are wet the bed, stab randomly, and fart without knowing it!

"SHUT UP!!" SHUT UP!! "uh...not you. So...wanna come have some pancakes?...On me?"

On me....oh ON us. Nice one.

That's disgusting.

DP started was just about to say something more when Juggernaut grabbed him bodily and began to twist him, the bones audibly and visibly breaking, all while Deadpool continued to laugh. "Juggy baby!-" You said jug! Not now! "did we have a bad start? here! lemme fix it!" And he shoved a bear tarp against Juggernaut chest, which snapped shut, freeing the badly mangled Deadpool, who quickly began to right himself, while the c4 attached to the trap asploded hurling Juggernaut into the path of an oncoming 18wheeler.

"Where's the girl?!"

DP rushed back over to Alyissa. "So you've head of me?"

Alyissa winced seeing Juggarnaut twist Deadpool's torso until she swore the hulk of a man would rip him in two. But instead he pushed the cockblocker out into open Traffic, how fun!. Lifting his arm to check out his body "How the hell aren't you dead" she mumbled fascinated by the healing factor "I've never been one to be turned off by Crazy so why the fuck not. Unless your too busy with Jug head here" she smirked gesturing to Juggarnaut. How could anyone turn down a date with Deadpool, maybe it was her but he something about his muscular form under tight fitting clothing was sexy as fuck! You have some serious sexual issues she thought and quietly laughed to herself. "Merc with a mouth bangs boring Waitress now wouldn't that make wuite the headliner"

We Like This Girl!
We Like This Girl!
We Like This Girl!

He spun on his heel, wrapped his arm around her shoulders and started off towards his place. "I'm thinking instead we top it with greatest sex ever had with Deadpool."

You can't say things like that!

"why not she did?"

Alyissa laughed when he teleported her back to his place "I guess that saves me from asking my place or yours" she grinned observing her sorrounds. It wasn't classy but it wasn't terrible either. Guns and various other weapons were hung with care all over the walls suddenly his attraction levels had a power up. She whistled taking a step back to admire the handywork "Man you got everything" she mumbled before turning to face him "Fucking me on the first date, I'm a bad girl" she tsked before leaning back on the wall "But I'm guessing your not looking for a prissy bitch are ya?" Alyissa laughed lightly before flickering her amber eyes over him undressing every inch of his body with her eyes "Name is Alyistasia Darko but friends call me Aly"

"I love bad girls... one thing though. The mask stays on." He began to peel off his weapon gear and weapons themselves.

"Your turn!" She is so hot I can't wait!

He moved toward her smiling under his mask his hands clawed. "I'm Deadpool."

"I guess it's a little late to ask for dinner first" she joked stripping down to her undergarments. Her chest was a decent size, nothing special but they were backed against her ivory skin. Her body was the perfect Canvas for a tatto artist, every curve and detail would stand out at the coiled green python on her arm proved it. Suddenly she became shy most men would sneer at her stabbing scars or burns from crashing her bike but she hoped Deadpool wouldn't mind "That's fine, even though I prefer to see the face of my lover" Alyissa shrugged but her grin returned when he curled his fingers to look...scary?

His hands flashed out and gripped her, oddly gently and lifted her up.

Few, if any, knew it but Deadpool focused best when it came to lovemaking. He held her close gently his strong hands pressing her to his chest as his lips pressed against her's his hands beginning to move over her skin, his erection tenting his pants quite awkwardly as he moved them to the bed.

"Dinner after." He kissed her again as he fell with her atop him.

She giggled when he swung her onto the bed and ran his hands over her, Alyissa had certain areas on her sides that were ticklish and that would make her writhe widly in his arms. It was strange at how we was able to kiss her through the material of his Mask but it felt good. His erect manhood on the other hand poked her inner thigh which only made her feel a bit giddy around Deadpool, it certainly wasn't her first time but she would still act shy around her lover. Alyissa also expected some witty remark but he was oddly quiet.

He smirked at her his body pressed tight against her own his hands still running over her body when he raised his head from the kiss. "You know something weird? Because of my healing factor I can just keep going in bed...as long as you want."

He reached beneath her and quickly freed her bra clasp. "Mmm.... The greatest artwork ever." He hooked the bra itself away then ran his hand lightly over her breasts, gently tweaking the nipples while he pressed further down, pushing his erection against her sex.

Her breath hitched when he rubbed the senstive nubs of flesh of her chest "As long as i want hm?" she breathed rolling her hips to tease the Mutant as his Manhood rubbed against her folds making her shudder. Deadpool caging her underneath him only made her more eager to please her lover. "God damn it deadpool" she moaned softly, wrapping her shapely legs around his waist to hint that she was dar past ready for him.

He smirked and kissed her again then began to press into her, his hips slowly rolling as he began to thrust into her, his hands still running over her body, while his muscles flexed with his movements, giving his slow thrusts power, his erection throbbing hard against her walls, his heavy balls resting against her bum while his legs and back bunched and knotted under her arms and legs.

She arched her back into him, Alyissa let out a soft moan and began to rub herself against him in rythem with his thrusting. Everytime he glided his hand over her sensitive sides, Aly stiffled her laughter against his neck "S-stop..that's ticklish" she managed to say between her gasps and moans. Writhing wildling beneath him her nails dug into the scarred flesh of his back to try and keep herself still but failed to do so.

He smiled against her skin still rocking into her slowly, his hands moving to her neck and chest, gently squeezing her breasts and lightly pinching her nipples. "Sorry about that..." He rolled his own back using the angle to drive further and deeper into her.

Alyissa cried out in ecstasy not expecting Deadpool to drive himself deep within her. She couldn't take his slow intervals of pushing his erection into her folds. She began to rotate herself faster on his member to slide herself to the hilt.

He moaned as she wriggled beneath and around him, and he quickly found her rhythm, moving with it, pleasuring them both immensely, though his hands seemed to remain solely Deadpool, giving an odd random squeeze of her breasts, or a gentle twist of her nipples, or grip her hair to force her to kiss him. His passion was building and though he was focused on it, his hands need to feel more and more of her.

The sweet friction that fired up her spine caused her to whimper when Alyissa bite her lower lip, embarrassed by the sounds that came from her. Pressure build and her body began to twitch impulsivly as she felt a orgasm approching. Her delicate fingers rolled up the material of his mask to the beginning of his nose so She could deepen the kissing. Her free hand reaching down to twine her hands with his, it no longer felt like a one night stand it really felt like Deadpool was making love to her.

he gripped her hand in return squeezing as he kissed her deeply, twisting his head pulling her in even closer, his erection throbbing madly within her. He continued to slowly roll his hips with her, thrusting into her slow and deep, his body growing hot as he moved within and above her.

The sway of Wade's hips into her was intoxicating, her back arched with every round of thrusts he gave. Her vaginal walls began to spasm and she writhed wildly under him as she came hard around his manhood. She expected a witty remark as Aly came for him so quickly but she couldn't have held it back even if she tried. People said he was a selfish smartass who only cared about getting paid, but she was beginning to think that others preseived him all wrong. He was gentle with her and gave more affection then she was expecting. But yet again she wasn't exactly plain Jane herself either. Who could really trust the media any way half of it seemed like utter bull crap anyway.

Wade did not speak. He was busy. She felt wonderful below and around him. He needed this. More than he knew. He was well aware that his psyche was cracked, but when he made love like this, with a beautiful woman like her, he felt calm, at peace, and possibly even sane. Or at least focused enough to keep giving her pleasure...

He kept rocking with her his hands moving over her body as his own orgasm began to build.

The shuddering of her body began to subside even though Alyissa still quivered plesantly under his touch. Aly let herself sink into the bed and let him keep pumping into her folds despite being pushed past her limit. It felt too good not to let him keep going, who said just because she was lying still didn't mean she couldn't enjoy the ride. If Alyissa was lucky they could work to a second climax, Deadpool did mention that his healing factor could keep him going for as long as she wanted.

His orgasm erupted as she still beneath him, flooding her sex with his spend, and less than a second later, his penis not only remained harder but actually grew harder, his balls swelling yet further as they rapidly refilled to replace that which was lost.

he groaned at the feeling and lowered himself, still thrusting into her, to deliver another kiss. "Well...thats a feeling that will walk you up in the morning." He kissed her again. "and my balls feeling up was nice too... good thing im sterile." His radiation exposure and a few other experiments had left him utterly sterile. At least according to the Weapon X docs.