RE: Home Is Where The Heart Is
The day Meg turned fifteen, she expected to get a new laptop for her birthday, or something else equally as expensive, what she got instead changed everything she thought to be true. When she walked into the kitchen that morning, Rachel, her mother, was on her cell phone. Meg knew she had to be talking to her father, because he disliked it when they did things with other people. Edward Winters was a control freak; he had to have things go his way.
His shouts were so loud that the phone looked like it was vibrating in Rachel's hand. Meg could hear him from across the room, though she could not understand his angry words. Something had set him off, and her mother was fighting back tears. Her blue eyes were bloodshot. Meg watched as her mom frowned and started to chew on her bottom lip. The elder redhead looked more like a child and not the grown mother of a teenager.
"This is something I must do, Edward! I've got no choice." Rachel tapped her foot on the hardwood floor, glancing down at her daughter as the young girl walked over to her. Meg put a hand on her shoulder, tilting her head to the side, and mouthing 'what', the look on her face asking if everything was okay. Rachel shook her head and walked over to the table, sitting town. This left Meg puzzled.
“She was my mother! I grew up there, Ed. Be reasonable.” More angry yells came from the phone. Rachel held it away from her ear and pursed her lips together. “It is my responsibility; stop saying that it is not,” she answered whatever Edward said. Meg wished she knew what her father was saying and what the whole conversation was about.
A few moments later, Rachel disconnected the phone. She turned to look at her daughter, with an apologetic look on her face.
“There are some things I need to tell you,” Rachel said softly.
It turned out a lot was about to change. Rachel’s mother passed away two days ago and she only just now got a letter asking her to come home to take over the estate that was left behind. The estate in question was actually a farmhouse. It was the very place Rachel grew up, and the very place she left the day she turned eighteen and Meg was two. Now it was left to Rachel in her mother’s will.
Meg was only just now learning the truth about everything. Her parents had lied to her from the very beginning, making something up about her grandmother disowning Rachel because she disapproved of her leaving the farm behind and marrying outside their race. Rachel being white and Edward being black. That wasn’t true at all. All her life, she thought she was mixed, but Edward wasn’t even her birth father. He swooped into their life when she was a toddler and Rachel followed him back to the big city. Who could blame her, really; he was a big named movie producer, and she was a poor farmer’s daughter, and a single mother.
“Who’s my real father?” Meg asked. “Why did you stop talking to grandmother? Why would you even lie about Edward being my real father?” Meg was in a sour mood and refused to think of him as her father, or even call him dad. Who was he really? He was never around anyway, only stopping to see them every six months or so. He hardly called or wrote letters, but he did buy them things and that was all he did. He threw money at them and disconnected them from the real world so they would be completely dependent on him. Meg at least got to go to a private school and get away but her mom was not allowed to do anything unless she asked him first. The answer was usually no. Edward was insanely jealous.
Rachel looked up at their driver, but he was doing a great job of pretending they did not exist, as Edward instructed him to do. “I - I can’t talk about it right now,” she said softly. A tear slipped down her cheek. She leaned her head against the cool glass of the car. “Despite how it might seem, I really did love my mom, your grandmother.”
A pang of guilt bubbled in the bit of Meg’s stomach. “Okay. I will stop asking questions for a little while.” She pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged them. She would give her mom some time to process the death of her mother, but that did not stop the questions that were running through her head.
Why did mom not marry my birth father? She was 15 when she became pregnant with me and 16 when she gave birth. Surely my birth father was also a teenager, but is it possible he could have been an adult or even already married? Maybe my birth caused a huge scandal in the small farming town. At what age did mom meet Edward and how did he come into the picture? I wonder why he would even be interested in a young girl who already had a two year old daughter.
What kind of people were my grandparents? Did they support mom when she got pregnant or did they start to shun her, even hate her? Do I have aunts, uncles or cousins? After all these years, why did mom never try to reconnect with grandmother?
The last question was easily answered. Rachel most likely never tried to connect with her mother because Edward did not want her to. The thought made Meg sick to her stomach.
Despite all the drama, Meg could not help feeling proud of her mom. Her mother had finally stood up to Edward and was doing something against his wishes. Even if that meant she and Meg had to move across the country to a little small town that was not even on a map and live at the farmhouse for only God knew how long.
The plan was to get everything sorted and find new owners for the property. In the meantime, someone needed to live there and take care of everything, the animals, the crops, farming things that two city girls were clueless about.
Mom is not as clueless as I am, Meg reminded herself. She did grow up on the farm. It’s in her blood, so… wow, that means it is also in my blood. Meg looked at Rachel and saw that she had fallen asleep. She looked so young, her skin flawless, and her red hair falling in soft curls around her shoulders. Strangers mistook them for twins. Meg had the same features, and the same hair color. Both were around 5'4 and slim.
Who’s taking care of the animals right now? Grandmother has been dead for two days. Oh I hope someone remembered to check up on them and feed them. Meg yawned, following her mom’s example. She soon fell asleep and dreamed of a pure white horse.
“Wake up Miss Margaret, Miss Rachel.” The timid voice of their driver, Daniel came through Meg’s open car window. She blinked a couple times and set up, wincing in pain when sunlight blinded her. They had started driving when it was nighttime and now it seemed to be early morning. Daniel drove them to an airport that was seven hours away from the one in their city at Rachel’s request. It was the only way to avoid Edward showing up and refusing to allow them to get on their flight.
“Daniel, don’t call me that,” Meg complained, shaking her head as she climbed out of the car. “You’ve been our driver ever since I can remember. So I guess since I was 2,” she mumbled in a dark voice.
“Shush Meggie,” Rachel half-heartedly scolded as she joined the other two. She looked over at Daniel. “Thank you very much for driving us so far out of your way.” There was an awkward exchange of handshakes and then they were left alone at the airport.
“What about luggage?” Meg asked as they walked up to the terminal that would take them to their flight. She hadn’t packed anything. They had left in a hurry, though they had all their money. Unbeknown to Edward, Rachel and Meg had been keeping a secret banking account. Edward made so much money and threw so much at them, that he never noticed if they spent it or not.
“Sue’s on it,” Rachel answered. Sue was their head housekeeper and Rachel’s one and only real girl friend, due to Edward’s controlling nature. “She started packing everything up the moment we left. I imagine it will arrive a day or two after we arrive and until then, we’ll have to make due with what m- your grandmother left behind. We won’t starve at the very least. It’s a farm, you know, and there are stores, even in small towns.”
“Ha ha.” Meg rolled her eyes. “I know that. But is there a Starbucks, a shopping mall or even a Wal-mart!” She had never shopped at Wal-mart before, but that would be better than nothing, Meg supposed.
“I’m afraid the closest big chained store would be at least 5 hours away, if not more. You’re mostly going to find ‘mom and pop’ type businesses, family owned and no designer stores, unless you count the little old ladies who like to get together and make things for everyone. I’m not even joking. It’s called “Old Ladies Who Like to Make Things,” club.”
“5 hours!” Meg groaned. That seemed almost impossible. She had never thought that there could be places in the word where a Starbucks wasn’t in the backyard. “Is there anything fun to do? I doubt it, seeing as I’m too young for even the “Old Ladies” club,” she said sarcastically.
“I would watch your mouth, young lady. I apologize that my mother’s death is such an inconvenience for my dear child. I forgot to ask her not to schedule it until after you’ve turned 18, so that when I’m forced to move across the country to take care of loose ends, you can go off and do whatever it is that is so much more important.”
Meg did not know how to reply to that. Her cheeks burned as shame overcame her. She had not meant to sound so disrespectful and it was true that she was spoiled, but that was how she had been raised. Her mother knew it, because Rachel did not seem to hold a grudge for very long.
“Oh stop sulking. I shouldn’t have snapped at you. This is hard for the both of us.”
“Wow,” Meg said in a hushed voice as she and Rachel got out of the taxi they had been in for the last five hours. Rachel paid the man a hefty sum, before turning around to look at the property she had lived on for the first eighteen years of her life.
They stood at the edge of the dirt driveway that would eventually lead to the Carmichael Farmhouse. Beyond the driveway was vibrant green landscape as far as the eye could see, at least it felt that way to them.
“How far does this drive go?”
“You mean how far do we have to walk?” Rachel chuckled. “Get used to being active, darling. I’ll tell you now, living on a farm is a never ending workout. Your grandmother does own a car, so we won’t have to do any walking when we want to go into town, rest assured.”
Sweat trailed down the back of Meg’s neck. She held a hand up over her eyes and squinted. “There’s someone coming up the drive.”
“Oh…” Rachel gasped. “That older man is someone I grew up with and the young boy and girl must be his children.” She smiled the most genuine smile Meg had ever seen. “I never pictured him for the marrying type.”
“Rachel, it’s been far too long,” the man said, reaching out a hand for Rachel to shake, but she threw her arms around him instead.
“Robert, did you go and have a family? Who did you marry?”
“Nosy as ever, I see,” Robert said, pulling away from her and looking at the others beside them.
“This is Emily and Ben. Emily is my daughter. Ben is a family friend. They have been helping your mother out of the farm since they could walk and we have been keeping tabs on things until your arrival. Unfortunately your head farmhand and his crew all quit a few weeks before your grandmother left, leaving her in a bit of a jam. From what I heard they went to bigger and better things up in the city.” His expression darkened. “Emily’s mother, my Eve, passed when she was just a baby.”
“Oh I’m so sorry,” Rachel said, putting a hand up to her mouth. “Poor Eve. I never knew.” She paused and then continued, more to herself, "I will have to hire some farmhands, I suppose."
“We’ve had a long time to deal with it, but your mother’s death is still very fresh. How are you feeling?” He put a hand on Rachel’s back, concern in his eyes.
“It’s strange… I feel like I’m in some sort of dream. It does not seem real yet.” She coughed to cover up the tremble in her voice. “Oh! I didn’t introduce my daughter. Of course you’ve met her before Robert, but it’s been a long time. This is Margaret..”
“Mom...” Meg blushed.
“She would rather go by Meg,” Rachel corrected. Robert, Emily and Ben left to let Meg and Rachel get settled in. A list of instructions were left for them, mainly a schedule for when the animals needed tending to and where things could be found. Despite herself, Meg was a little excited. She loved animals, but as a city girl, she only ever saw any at the zoo and Edward had rarely let them do outings like that.
At once, they were greeted with 3 house cats and 2 big shaggy dogs. They seemed wary at first, but one of the dogs seemed to recognize them and that made everyone else feel more at ease.
“He was only a puppy when we left,” Rachel murmured as she hugged the familiar dog. “I can’t believe he remembers us.”
Meg felt just as amazed as her mother. “Can you show me where I’ll be living?” She rubbed the back of her neck and nibbled her bottom lip.
Rachel led Meg through the house. It was a three story brick building built back in the 1800s and had been in the Carmichael family from the beginning. Over the years, it had been added on to and touched up where it needed, but it was mostly as it had been, with some modern things added for convenience. This was not the original farmhouse, though. The original had been built in 1810 and caught fire in 1850. The second house had been built and the original house was left to ruin. Rumors had it that the original house was haunted because three of Rachel’s ancestors had died in the fire.
“This was your room,” Rachel said, opening a door on the second floor. Nothing had been touched. The toddler bed under the bay window, the toy chest, the open closet filled with hand made toddler clothing. Her mother had made most of the outfits.
“Are you okay?,” Meg whispered, when she noticed how pale her mom looked. Meg was shocked at the state of the room and even more so at how familiar it felt.
The reality of everything hit Rachel so hard, making her gasp and drop to her knees. She sobbed her first real tears since learning that her mom had died. Her mom had only been 54 years old; much too young to die. At least her parents were together now. Her father had died the year after she left home. She only found out because she had exchanged letters with her mom the first 3 years away, before Edward put a stop to that when he found out.
“Mom… momma?” Meg knelt down next to Rachel. They held onto each other and rocked back and forth as the eldest of them became undone.
Two days later, they were feeling more settled in and in some sort of routine to take care of the animals and the grounds. Their luggage had arrived and they were spending the day putting everything where it belonged.
Meg laid down on the small toddler bed, scrunching up as much as she could, trying to remember what life had been like 12 years ago. She could only bring up feelings. Happiness. Freedom. Safety.
Rachel knocked on the opened door and walked in. “You know, we can pull in one of the guest beds, or you could move to a guest room. There are plenty of extra rooms.”
Sitting up, Meg shook her head. “This is my room, though. I wanted to experience it like I must have when I was two, but yes to the bigger bed.”
“What about the clothing and toys?” Rachel walked over to the closet and brushed her hand over the soft fabric inside. She could smell her mother coming from the clothes, which saddened her. That would mean her mom spent a lot of time sitting in Meg’s room over the last 13 years.
“I don’t want to get rid of them. Not yet,” Meg answered. “Um mom… how long will we be here? What is da- Edward going to do? Will he come after us?”
“It could take a while to find a buyer for the place, so I don’t know how long we’ll be staying here. As for Edward… I just don’t know. I assume he’ll make a fuss, but even he can’t drag us back against our will.” The look on her face did not convince Meg.
“Are we really selling it?”
Rachel just nodded, though her eyes said otherwise. “We can box the old stuff up and put it in the attic to make room for your things.”
Meg walked around room, bent down and picked up a well loved teddy bear. “Not this. I’ll keep this with me.”
“It’s fitting that you would want to keep him. You called him Little Boo because a ghost lived inside him.” Rachel smiled. “Your imagination was astonishing from the moment you could talk. My favorite was the white ghost horse you said liked to visit the other horses at night.”
The alarm blared at 5am. Meg groaned, sluggishly getting out of bed. She put on a pair of slippers and a robe over her nightgown. Today it was her turn to feed the animals. All together there were 2 horses, 6 pigs, 10 chickens, 2 roosters, 2 cows, 3 cats and 2 dogs. According to her mother, there was possibly one ghost horse, but Meg doubted she would be able to feed a ghost.
She giggled at the idea, wishing there really were ghosts; at least things would be more interesting.
After feeding the inside animals, she started her rounds outside, not bothering to get properly dressed. They were so far from town that being seen by anyone was next to impossible. She fed everyone, leaving the horses for last. She liked to spend some time with them. The horses were majestic and so gentle.
“Are we selling the farm?” Meg asked her mother as she walked into the farmhouse. “You haven’t said anything about it in weeks and I haven’t seen you talking to anyone, either.”
“I’ve put out ads in the papers in surrounding towns and this one as well…”
“You’d let out of towners buy the place?”
“You didn’t let me finish.”
“Sorry.”
“So far I’ve had three companies contact me from out of town, but they do not want the land for farming.”
“What? What would happen to the animals?”
“I don’t know, but I won’t sell it to anyone who plans on changing the purpose of the place. They wanted to build vacation homes for rich people in a quaint little town far from the stress of the big city.”
“Gag,” Meg said, putting a finger down her throat and actually gagging. “So people like Edward? He probably prompted those people to contact you.”
Rachel shook her head, her blue eyes misting. “He may not be around much, but he does love you as a daughter in his own way. I’m sorry we lied, but stop calling him Edward. He is your father.”
“He’s mentally abusive to the both of us. You know it’s true. What person controls someone so much that their own wife is not allowed to have contact with her family or to even tell her daughter the truth about everything? He doesn't even let us do anything fun if he is not with us. Your only friend is our housekeeper. Everyone at my school thinks I’m a stuck up, you know what, because I can’t do any after school activities or hang out and do teenager things.”
“I’ve never even had a boyfriend,” Meg whispered. “Not that I’ve wanted to, but still… “
“Calm down Margaret Juliet Winters.” It was serious when Rachel did a three namer. “I know he has faults, and everything you say is true, but you can’t begin to understand why a person… why I have…” She faltered and looked down at the hardwood floor of the entryway.
“I was so young when I went with him, so easily influenced. He had me wrapped around his little finger and I felt so special. I’m nothing but average in the looks department and I was a farmer’s daughter, a single mother, yet this famous, handsome man wanted me.”
Meg walked over to Rachel and wrapped her arms around her. “Was it so bad having me as a teenager? Did I ruin your life? Do you regret it happening?”
Pushing Meg away from her, Rachel shook her head, her eyes wide and shocked. “Oh Heavens, no! Sweet child, you were the best thing to ever happen to me. We loved you so much.”
“We?”
“My parents. Oh, they doted on you.”
She wondered if this was a good time to ask about her birth father, but Meg decided to see if Rachel would volunteer the info herself.
“I see it in your eyes…”
“I just don’t understand why it’s a secret.”
“He was 19 years old, I was 15, even in a small town like this, that was illegal. I never told my parents who the father was and… well…” Sweat broke out on Rachel’s forehead and her hands were shaking. “I never told him either. After I found out I was pregnant, he joined the marines. I was an emotional wreck and we ended up having a fight because I did not want him to go. He never came back.”
“Oh mom.” Meg threw her arms around Rachel. “Did he die? I’m so sorry for pressing. I had no idea.”
“I have no idea, honey, I really don't know.”
It was clear that was all Rachel was ready to share. Meg felt a little better now that she knew more about her birth father, but wondered who he could possibly be.
“I have got some responses to the job openings, from some men and women. I am meeting with some this afternoon. I want you to get the most out of your education as you can…. well, and to be a teenager while you have the chance.” Rachel took a drink of her coffee and looked across the table at her daughter.
The idea of a little extra free time was nice, but she she had grown to love doing things for the farm. It made her feel like she had a purpose. Meg had a feeling Rachel felt the same way.
“Can we really afford to hire more people?”
“Well yes, Emily and Ben will be around less because they have school too and you’d be surprised how much money we bring in. Everyone needs to eat, after all. Your grandmother also had her savings that she willed to us.” There was the unspoken ‘and your dad is still putting money in our account so there is enough to go around.’ Meg really did not understand why he would still be giving them anything.
In a situation like ours, you’d think he’d freeze the account. We did defy his wishes. In reality, Edward made so much money, he probably forgot to stop the direct deposit he had been putting into an account for them ever since he took Rachel as his wife. He called the account their allowance. He never looked inside the account or questioned what they did with the money.
After having several meetings and not finding the right people for the job, Rachel felt like this was turning into a lost cause. She walked into the small diner in town to meet the final person she was meant to meet today.
The diner was decked out to look like an old fashioned 50s restaurant. She ordered a grape soda and took a seat at a booth, waiting for her possible employee to be to show up.
"Hello, Miss Rachel, it's nice to see you in town again." Rachel looked up at the grey haired woman behind the counter. She smiled and thanked her, before going back to her soda.
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