Surviving in Shadows [Saria & CharlotteV]

Max nodded, because he had a point. Rather they knew how to use it or not...having magic had more or less kept them alive. Hell, more than once it had been the sole reason Max was still standing. So He let the subject drop, let Lucas wrap his hands, only wincing on occasion.

It wasn't comfortable, but it was better than open wounds. And the burn cream helped.

He sat while Lucas got the fish ready, smiling slightly when his brother sat next to him. The words he said...Max's throat went dry. He hadn't actually considered the possibility that Lucas would leave him, but he still felt an insane about of relief knowing he wouldn't.

He always wanted to claim he'd never hurt him but...they both knew he nearly did. He'd never mean to, but that didn't mean it wouldn't happen.

"I know," he muttered.

Max had always had an anger problem, but it had kind of burned out over the years. He'd kind of always written it off as getting older. Now he knew better. Other emotions had just been more prominent. Fear. Survival. He hadn't had the time to get upset over anything.

Lucas sighed and propped his leg up, resting his arm across his knee. "Sorry," he murmured. "This is... all my fault." As much as they'd been on the run, they should have tried harder to find answers rather than try to ignore all the fucked up shit happening to them. He'd known sooner or later it would catch up to them, that they'd have to face it all, but he'd hoped it would take another few years.

"You're scared of what you see in your dreams... There has to be a better way to make sure nothing happens. Maybe... we can find a different...tether or...something... Fuck I don't know." He didn't even know how all this worked, but there had to be a way to keep Max safe. He rubbed at his face, running his hands through his hair and taking a deep breath. He didn't even know if he was safe with the wolf... linked to him, but at least he'd never woken screaming from his dreams.

"Hey." Max leaned over, bumping Lucas's shoulder with his own. "Don't do that. That 'this is all my fault' shit. You've kept us alive, alright?" And it was true...Lucas shouldered everything. Their lives, Max's safety. All he really did was whine and occasionally fall into trouble.

He moved over a bit to sit closer to his brother, rest his head on his shoulder, watch the wolf fish. "He doesn't like me," he decided. Which was fine, Max didn't give a shit, except...he was obviously a part of their lives now. And the only one that knew anything about magic. "The question is...how much?"

Because yeh, Max was terrified of his dreams and the things in them...but he was more scared of the unknown. Of trusting someone just to get lead astray.

All he wanted in the world was Lucas...and he would do anything to keep him. Magic be damned.

Lucas smiled faintly and glanced over at Max. "Oh, am I not the only responsible adult around here?" he asked, glancing around as if looking for someone else. He mussed his brother's hair when he leaned against him, eyeing the ripples where the wolf had disappeared back under water. "Nah. He adores you. Who couldn't love a little shit-stain who shoots fireballs?"

He dropped his arm around Max's shoulders. "I don't think it's you he doesn't like," he said after a few moments. Kithiel seemed...friendly enough towards them both, except when Max was shooting fire or... talking about his dreams. He tensed and didn't want to think about what that might mean. Magic had always been a bad sign in his mind, but it seemed the more they found out about it in relation to Max, the worse it really was.

"It's up to you what we do from here," he finally said. "It's your dreams, your magic... The decision should come from you."

"You're an asshole," Max grumbled, digging his elbow into his brothers side for a moment in response to the comment about responsible adults. "But fuck that man, everyone should adore me. I radiate awesomeness."

He glanced down at his hands for a moment, rotating them like mate a new angle would make the burns disappear. Like maybe he didn't really shoot fire or any shit like that. But they never changed. This apparently was who he was.

"Magic also makes you unstable," Max mused. "Maybe my decisions shouldn't be trusted..."

After a moment he shook his head slightly. "Later. Deal with it later. Today has been... Interesting enough."

Lucas grunted at the elbow in his side, pinching Max in return. "Later. Tomorrow later, not next month later," he said. "I don't think we can keep running away from it anymore," he added quietly.

He reached for one of the sticks with fish and made sure it was cooked before handing it over, picking up the other for himself and taking a careful bite. "Not bad," he said, glancing up as the wolf crawled out of the water and shook himself off.

Kithiel trotted over to the fire and stretched out beside it to dry as he ate his last fish. We should continue soon. The trackers are still following.

Max winced slightly but didn't argue. They were both guilty of putting off topics they didn't want to talk about...but Lucas was right. It was time to change because...running was getting them nowhere. Well, metaphorically.

He sat up when he had to, and fell silent while they ate. With the adrenaline gone his hands ached, but it wasn't unbearable. Wasn't the worst he'd had to date, and wouldn't be the worst ever. But because he'd done it to himself he couldn't complain; so he ate his fish. Slowly.

"Where are we going anyway?" Max asked, glancing at Lucas as he sucked his fingers clean. "I mean, do you have an idea? Because we've been kinda moving the same way for awhile..." Honestly, he wasn't sure what he expected. If Lucas had an actual destination Max would have known. But...who knew.

Lucas tensed a bit. "Not really... Just... feel like we should keep heading east." He'd never really questioned it before, it just seemed natural that he should go that way. They had to keep moving, it may as well be in the same direction, right?

Kithiel glanced up at them with a flick of his ears. It's a call... He couldn't really blame them for not recognizing what was guiding them on their journey.

"A what?" That sounded like it was...something to do with magic.

There's rumors of a settlement where the humans live with their magic without being consumed by it. It's shielded and hidden, but it calls to others still in possession of themselves.

"That's why I feel compelled to go east?" Lucas shouldn't have been surprised; he was more annoyed than anything.

It's a safe place. So I hear.

Max arched his eyebrows in interest. He was tire of the magic talk, that was still true. But this time at least the wolf was saying something promising. A settlement with humans who had magic and still had themselves...that sounded like control. Balance. The ability to give into the buzzing under ones skin without loosing their mind.

Max wanted that. He'd always wanted that. He wanted to use his powers and keep himself. He'd just never allowed himself to think something like that was...possible.

He was also ninety percent sure he didn't feel that pull.

He stood up distractedly, wiped the tips of his fingers off on his jeans while he walked over to their bags. He kneeled in front of them, back towards his brother and the wolf, and closed his eyes. Willed himself to feel...anything.

With senses like his he knew certain things. He could hear the stream running to his left, could tell the vast forest was thicker on his right, knew the temperature was dropping. He could hear animals, knew something powerful was close...Kithiel. But nothing was calling to him. Nothing was beckoning.

Except for Lucas. There was something passed just rationally knowing his brother was behind him, and knowing exactly where he was. Like he could walk to him without ever opening his eyes. Maybe it was kinship...magic recognized or something, maybe. It seemed like they'd both had that skill since they were little...Lucas always more so than him. But it felt stronger now, somehow.

He opened his bag to grab some water bottles, walks back over and tossed Lucas one. "East sounds good."

A safe place... It sounded like a fantasy. There were no safe places anymore, only alternating levels of dangerous. Some places they could stay for days, maybe a week, but most were one or two day stops. Long enough to ransack the place for whatever they could find, then moving again. Towards... a place that had a possibility of... being safe? He couldn't even dare to hope they could find somewhere to call home again. Home didn't exist as a place. Home was on the road, with his brother at his side, and fighting every day to live and not lose themselves.

He glanced at Max, taking the bottle and drinking from it. "East it is then," he murmured. Where else were they going to go? They may as well... take a look? "How far is it?"

Kithiel stretched as he finished drying by the fire. Not far from here. A few days. A week, if travel is slow.

Lucas looked at Max again. "Ready?" A few days and they could find a place to at least relax a while...

Max nodded a little, holding up a finger while he downed half of his bottle. There was a fine line between conserving water and staying hydrated, and Max had a really bad habit of keeping himself hydrated. With the amount of magic he'd used earlier, he probably needed the extra boost.

He took a break for a moment, running his hands over his hair and tugging at the strands at the base of his neck. It was getting too long, already starting to fall in his eyes, he'd have to ask Lucas to cut it at some point, probably. He never could stand it being too long. The last time he'd gotten his hands on a razor he'd shaved it all off. But in the winter it was too cold to not have at least a little.

He was tried, either from the argument or the magic, who knew, but sleep wasn't exactly something he was keen on so he wasn't going to complain or ask to stop soon. So he finished off another few drinks then nodded. "Yeah, let's go."

Lucas watched Max and recognized the signs of being tired, but it was too early to stop for the day, especially after they'd stopped so long in that town. He took another drink of his own water and got to his feet, mussing Max's hair before picking up both their packs to carry. He used to be able to carry Max when he got too tired, but he was getting a bit too big for that. "We'll go a few hours then look for a place to stop for the night."

Kithiel watched them and focused on the link he'd formed with Lucas, the food and rest replenishing his energy enough to get a better sense of his anchor's emotions. The way Lucas...catered to his brother could have just been an overprotective brother looking after his sibling, but... there was something else beneath it he couldn't quite get a read on. Yet. He stood and stretched, snuffing out the fire as the earth shifted with a touch of magic to all but erase all evidence of them being there.

Max started to protest, to say that he could carry his own bag, but honestly...he was thankful for the break. So he kept his mouth shut, rolled his water bottle between his hands while they walked. Without the adrenaline, the damage he'd done to his palms actually hurt, but the water was just cool enough to reactivate the burn cream so he focused on that.

It was odd, walking so quietly. He was usually restless, running and playing and usually being snapped at that he was going to end up calling attention to their whereabouts. One time he'd pissed a particularly large bird off when he'd stuck his hand in her nest climbing too high up in a tree, but usually they were problem free.

Usually.

Max couldn't actually remember the last time he'd just...walked. It'd been awhile. It wasn't unusual for him to get tired when they were traveling, but usually he complained more. If he couldn't be active with his body, he ran his mouth. Now though...he was just...stated.

He was kicking a rock, idly, when he looked over his shoulder and thought of something. Despite not wanting to talk about it anymore...he was too curious to let it go. "When I dream...I dream about a town," he directed to the wolf. It wasn't something he'd talked about before, not even with Lucas, because it'd never really seemed important. "Is that something...in my head, or am I...crossing realms?"

Lucas glanced at Max as they walked. His brother had been acting...off for a while now, but with all that had happened the past couple days, he'd brushed it off as coping or stress. Honestly, it was a bit of relief to not have him rambling for once, though it was starting to concern him.

Kithiel paused when Max started speaking to him, about his dreams no less. It was easy enough to tell neither of the humans cared for his presence and that they were...terrified of magic and everything associated with it. Considering Max's reaction earlier, he was surprised the boy was bringing it up. He slowed his pace, falling into step beside Max and eyeing him a moment before responding. It's not impossible to cross in a dream, though it's rare if you have no tether. What kind of town? he asked.

Lucas bit his tongue to keep from asking or saying anything, irritated that Max had never told him about his dreams before and how he was talking about it with a wolf.

Max tensed a bit when Kithiel ended up beside him, but he didn't move to change his pace. It just...he didn't like being so close, so easy to read, where the wolf could so easily look at him. So Max focused on his water bottle, and nothing else, except maybe not tripping. He'd hurt himself enough for one day.

He didn't answer the question for a really long time, wasn't even completely sure why he'd breached the subject to begin with. Maybe because, despite being tired, he was naturally wound up an ready to go...he wasn't wasting that potential running his mouth, so his thoughts were running instead. And he was tired, at least too tired to get emotional.

He could feel Lucas' mood too, even just a little, the edge of irritation. It was obvious in the way his stance changed, ever so slightly, and Max got that. He did. So he didn't answer for so long it almost seemed like he wouldn't at all.

"It changes, every time," he mutters. "Get's a little more detailed...a little more sharp. In the beginning...about a year ago, probably, it was just a dirt road. Now there's...buildings, parks, but they never seem quite...real? Like...I couldn't touch them or...if I tried walking to them, I never got anywhere."

His eyebrows furrowed and he stopped walking for a moment, realizing something he'd never quite noticed before. It wasn't just a town it was...twisted. The buildings were all...grotesque. Never quite right and...dark. A lot darker than he'd ever realized.

He was always so focused on the feeling...on the absolute wrongness of what it felt like to be there, that he'd never really thought about what it looked like. At least not enough to remember when he woke up. He swallowed thickly, shook his head, and knew his voice was going to shake when he spoke again. "Let me put it this way...it's definitely nothing I've ever seen in real life."

Lucas waited for Max to respond or say something that showed he wasn't going to answer and the subject needed to be dropped. It was hard to tell with his brother, but usually he answered if he was the one to bring up the subject. Eventually.

Kithiel's fur rippled when Max finally spoke. He tasted the hint of fear on the boy, stopping when Max stopped and turning to look back at him. Not being able to reach the buildings was a sign of being a simple dream, but... Do they change? Shift subtly in size or shape? He couldn't help pacing around Max as he spoke. If Max's powers were attracting what he feared, there were only two places he could be seeing. A town that's dark and cold and...dead?

Lucas looked back at them and stopped as well, fingers tightening on the packs. What did that mean, if Max was dreaming of another realm? How could he dream of someplace they'd never been?

Max stared at the ground for a moment, feeling the familiar buzz start up under his skin. He closed his eyes, took a breath, and then opened them and stared even longer. He waited it out, let the magic inside of him calm down so he didn't snap again. The wolf was walking around him, and that put Max on edge a little, but he kept a hold on himself.

Kithiel's words hit hard, straight into his chest, twisting and turning and almost painful. He swallowed again, blinked back what he feared was probably more tears, and drew his gaze up to look at Lucas. His brother had stopped too, looking back at them.

"Yes," he answered. "It's freezing there, but not...its something I feel inside me, not like...weather. And nothing ever moves, no one's ever there. It just...shadows and..." he blinked his eyes again, looked up towards the sky. He'd never done that in his dreams...looked up. He wondered what it was, there. But his on sky...that calmed him a little, again. "Sometimes...out of the corner of my eye...I'm certain they're moving...but they never do when I look right at them."

Lucas shivered and took a step towards Max, feeling the tingle at the back of his neck again that meant his brother might snap again, but a low growl from Kithiel stopped him cold. He glowered at the wolf and growled back. "It's just a dream," he said, almost desperately. Hadn't they been through enough? If they just... got to this sanctuary, they could figure it out there. They'd be safe enough they could figure out everything and find a way to deal with it and... maybe even find some help. He didn't like getting his hope up, but they'd been drawn this way for so long, knowing there was actually something there and waiting for them was too much...

Kithiel resumed pacing and sniffed the air and Max, but whatever was trying to claim the boy was staying hidden. It's a city of my realm... long dead and deserted... Except by those who were shunned by the majority of the realm dwellers; those who preyed upon the powerful humans and turned them to empty shells. You walk the dreamscape of the one trying to mark you.

Max chuckled, but it sounded broken...empty, completely void of humor. Because it wasn't funny, it just...figured. That this was it, this was his life. That no matter how mad he got or how hard he fought...this was what he was looking forward too. Whatever was in his blood, it wasn't good.

His own feelings about Kithiel aside, Lucas...Lucas was good, something in him was pure, something in him was right enough that he could feel a pull towards whatever damn sanctuary they were headed towards.

"Perfect," he muttered. "That's what I amount to."

He wanted Lucas again. He wanted to reach out and bury himself in his brothers chest. He wanted to feel safe again. Instead, he opened his bottle, took another drink, and started walking.

It wasn't just a dream.

It was real.

Lucas growled again in frustration. This wasn't some... stupid worry he could soothe or talk away and that pissed him off to no end. Max didn't deserve this. The worst thing he'd ever done was annoy the shit out of him. Or the times he'd stolen the last piece of whatever sweets they'd found when he thought he was being innocent or sneaky about it. It wasn't like there was anyone else who could have been blamed.

This was... real. He'd tried ignore just how dangerous things could be for them for so long, it was like a punch to the gut having it all come crashing in on them now. And he wasn't the one who was faced with the real danger. How was he going to protect Max from this? "Max," he murmured, reaching out to touch his brother's shoulder as he passed.

Kithiel trailed behind them, reaching out to Lucas on a tight mental link where Max couldn't hear. Stop coddling him... Like death, the ties of magic must be faced alone.

Lucas snarled and turned to glare at the wolf. "I'm not leaving him alone," he hissed.

You cannot fight this battle for him. He has a choice, if his will is strong enough.

Lucas closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Stop toying with us. Is there a way to... keep Max sane and teach him control over his magic? Without... whatever he sees in his dreams marking him?"

There are always choices for those who have the eyes to see.

Lucas gritted his teeth, calming despite his annoyance at the cryptic response. "Getting tired of riddles..."

There were still so many questions...so many things left unanswered, unknown. But they'd gone this long without knowing what they were up against, a little more time wouldn't hurt. Besides, who knew what could be trusted and what couldn't? He still didn't think Kithiel actively wanted to cause any harm but...there were lots of opinions, even in this world.

Max definitely wasn't going to shy away from the very welcomed touch, but Lucas barely got a hand on his shoulder before something else caught his attention. It took him a moment to realize it was Kithiel, and the one sided conversation meant...huh, the wolf could single them out. Interesting.

He knew what it was about though. Kithiel was badmouthing him again. It scared Max, a little bit, because one day...maybe he would get through to his brother, and Max would wake up alone in this big, bad, dark world...

He shook his head, refusing to let the negative thoughts into his mind.

Max sighed slightly, stepped closer to his brother and took his own pack. He shouldered the straps, then grabbed Lucas' wrist and pulled his brothers arm over his shoulders. It wasn't easy to walk that way, but he neded the closeness. "C'mon," he mumbled. "Stop thinking about it. I'm not going insane today."

Lucas was too distracted to protest Max taking his bag back, calming almost completely as his arm was settled around his brother's shoulders. That was true enough. They'd held onto themselves this long, and now they at least had a little information to work with to make sure they continued to do so. "You're not going insane, period. I won't allow it. Just don't... get near whatever it is in your dreams," he murmured. He tightened his arm around Max, pulling him closer and giving in to the urge to press a kiss to the top of his head like their mother always had.

Kithiel noted the way Lucas calmed when Max was close to him. Somehow, Max wasn't the only one dependent on his brother. Interesting. And dangerous. Staying calm is the best thing you can do. He fell into step on the other side of Max with a soft sigh, convinced more than before that if he was going to keep Lucas sane, he had to keep Max from being claimed by anything dark. Maybe they'd find a suitable tether in the magical sanctuary.

Max smiled a little, he couldn't help it, because having Lucas back him up...even passive aggressively, it reminded him that he wasn't alone. He was never alone. No matter how isolated he felt, Lucas was there...always there. And as long as stupid wolves with chips on their shoulders didn't wiggle their way into his brothers mind, he'd always have Lucas. And really, that was all that mattered.

"I can do that," Max answered, before he was being pulled closer. He went without a fight, leaning in more, sighing at the feeling of lips pressing against his head. It was a gesture he'd lived without for quite awhile, and it did wonders for his mood. Not to mention he just...he liked Lucas. He liked getting to be close even when there wasn't really a reason for it.

So when they parted, Max a bit reluctantly, he reached up with one hand and loosely wrapped his fingers around Lucas' that was hanging off his shoulder. "Calm. I can do calm." Lie, he was emotional by nature, but he could try. Control his anger, control his dreams. Easy...in theory.

Lucas snorted and hoped that was true. Max never had done calm well, but he was getting older. Maybe he was gaining control over his emotions. At least a little. He squeezed at Max's fingers, glancing down at Kithiel and hoping they could at least get to that night without another incident between these two.

Hours later, he called a halt so they could make camp while it was still light. Max was getting exhausted and they'd need their rest to make it the next few days until they reached the sanctuary.

Kithiel lead them to a clearing within a copse of trees for their camp, pacing the area and leaving his scent around the circle of trees. The river had started to peter out as it wound its way beside them, but there was still a creek they could get water from. He crossed it as he went hunting, though he had little hope of finding anything other than a rabbit or two.

Lucas pulled his sleep roll from his bag and shook it out. "How're your hands?"

They walked for too long, Max was beyond tired. He knew he was slowing them down, too, because before Lucas called it quits he was almost crawling. He just wanted to sit down, more than anything. But he kept his mouth shut, because all the problems of the day were his fault.

Still, he was so glad when Lucas said they could stop that he basically fell on the ground, pack and all. He laid there until Lucas started shaking things out, then looked up at his brother when he asked the question. He considered lying, but he shrugged a little instead. "Sore," he admitted. "Hasn't been this bad since I fell down that tree."

It'd been a particularly nasty run from trackers a couple of months back. Max was a gifted climber, but a branch had broken under his foot and he'd tried to grab onto the tree in vain. He'd scraped his hands up to hell, like a carpet burn on steroids. They'd been raw and skinned for weeks. "I should probably rewrap them..."

He sighed and pushed himself up, throwing off his bag straps and twisting around to unpack what he'd need for the night.