Surviving in Shadows [Saria & CharlotteV]

Max didn't sleep again. He tried. He actually laid down, rested his head against his brothers thigh, but every time he closed his eyes his heart started beating faster, the hair on the back of his neck stood up, and he knew it was pointless. So he pulled himself back out of bed, walked around for a little while, checked the windows. There was movement once, but it was just an alley cat, so he ignored it.

He drank a bit of his water, then pulled the comic he'd found out of his bag. It was an old issue, something he would undoubtedly be lost on, but it gave him something to do. So he settled back down on the bed, pulled one of the candles over, and read for the next few hours. He wasn't sure how much time passed before Lucas was waking up again.

"Right here," Max answers, dropping a hand to run through his brothers hair. The sun was starting to rise out the window, but it wasn't bright yet, just barely coloring the sky.

Lucas groaned softly as his neck protested any movement, yawning and trying to sit up properly. "Did you sleep?" he asked, giving up on getting upright and sliding down to lie on his side. He shifted until his head was next to Max's leg, eyeing his brother and the comic. "Do you want to try to find something to help you sleep?" he asked. He could do with another few hours himself, or twelve, but he was rested enough to try and take care of his brother now at least. He didn't need much these days. His body was used to functioning on little sleep.

"Aren't you getting too old for those comics?" he asked with another yawn. "Surprised you didn't find some porn," he added under his breath, groaning as he rolled off the bed and headed to the bathroom. He swore he could still hear a wolf somewhere in the distance...calling him. Once he was done with business he poked through the medicine cabinet for anything they might need on the road. It should have felt strange...wrong, pilfering someone else's belongings, but it had stopped feeling wrong after they learned just how much their survival depended on other people's things.

Max shook his head at the question, but didn't otherwise answer. He was sure Lucas would know if he tried lying anyway, so he just goes back to reading instead. He was at the good part. Catwoman was in this one, and she and Batman were about to go at it. The next question caught his attention though, and he shifted his eyes towards Lucas cautiously.

Sure, he knew there were pills out there. All kinds of shit that could help you sleep. Stuff meant for common colds all the way down to actual brain chemical supplements. They were also kind of a dangerous bet though, because sometimes they needed to be up fast...and being put to sleep didn't always mean the dreams would stay away...it just meant he wouldn't be able to wake himself up.

"These comics are classics," he grumbles, avoiding the topic of his sleeping habits as he watched his brother roll out of bed. "And I did find porn. A 2001 copy of Jugs, Busty Asians, and a blank dvd I'm willing to bet had the neighbors on it." Max turned down the corner of the page he was on, muttering not my style under his breath before falling down, listening to Lucas shuffle through stuff in the bathroom.

"Found a pocket knife too but it didn't look sharp enough to do any real damage. Probably a trainer knife or something." But hey, a knife was a knife, Max would take what he could get. Especially since he'd lost his last one in some asshole's leg. He was still pretty bitter about that, actually.

Lucas returned after a few minutes with what bandaids and first aid items he'd found, dumping them in his pack before sitting on the edge of the bed with a small box of a generic sleep aid he'd found. "Busty Asians, huh? If you want some alone time, little brother, I can find another room," he teased. He sighed and his expression turned more serious as he studied Max.

"You need rest. We both do. This is as safe a place as any we'll find... You know I won't make you take them, but we need to figure out something that will let you sleep." He set the box down between them and shifted to face his brother. "Any ideas? ...You know the dreams can't hurt you, right?" At least he hoped so. Neither of them had been hurt by them yet, other than sleep deprivation.

Max snorted out a laugh, tilted his head to the side to say something undoubtedly sassy, when his eyes landed on the box of pills. Generic. Sleep aid. His throat felt a little tight suddenly, because Lucas' expression was serious and that meant things were about to get real. No avoiding. No joking his way out of it. It was conversation time.

He swallowed down the lump in his throat as he sat up again, staring at the box on the bed like it held something far more powerful than a couple of pills. He licked his lips, rolled his eyes slightly. "Yeah, they used to say the magic couldn't hurt you either."

Max felt nervous, nervous enough he was rubbing his palms out on his knees. They stung a little, left over scrapes protesting, but he ignored it. "What happens if I can't wake up, Luke? What happens...what...what if..."

He shook his head a little. He was being a damn child. They were safe. It was daylight outside. And they were generic pills. Surely they couldn't knock him out that deeply. So he straightens his shoulders a little, holds out his hand, and shrugs. "Can't hurt to try, right?"

Lucas smiled faintly though there wasn't any humor in it. He still didn't believe it was the magic hurting people. It was that people didn't know how to control or cope with it, live harmoniously with it. There was a path to get to that point. He had to believe that, else it meant both of them were doomed to... losing themselves. Completely.

He reached over to grasp Max's wrist and squeezed. "I'll be here," he said. "Right here. I won't let anything happen to you."

He picked up the box and pulled out a pill, using his dagger to cut it in half. Max was young and hadn't gained much weight the past year. And they didn't know what kind of effects the drugs would have. He handed over half, hoping it was enough to work without causing harm. "Drink plenty of water with it." He grabbed one of the bottles and handed it over, too.

At the end of it all, Max trusted Lucas. Max trusted him with everything. His life, his thoughts, his hopes and (for the most part) his dreams. There was probably no one else on the face of the planet Max had trusted or listened to as much as he did Lucas. Including their parents. In a normal world he would have been even more annoying and rebellious than he already was...but he shut it down when Lucas asked. Because he trusted him.

So that's why, with fingers wrapped around his wrist, Max nods. Because he believes him. Lucas wouldn't let anything happen to him. Not even if the danger was himself...

"Water," he mumbles as he takes it, shaking his head a little, but he throws the pill back and washes it down with at least half the bottle. Which was more than he usually drank. Then he sighed, flopped down on his back again, and stared up at the ceiling above them. "I changed my mind," he says, teasingly. "I'd rather have some alone time with Busty Asians than do this."

Lucas set the box aside before stretching out next to Max with a yawn. "You've probably got half an hour before it kicks in. You want me to go get it?" he asked dryly. He rested his arm behind his head and the other around Max, hoping the contact would help them both.

"You ever see anything your dreams?" he asked. "Movements out of the corner of your eye or... animals or anything?" He tried not to talk about the dreams as much as possible. They didn't know what they meant, or what kind of power they held, but lately he'd been thinking the more they acknowledged the fact that they had powers and had a chance of losing themselves to it, the more control they'd be able to keep. Maybe it was just wishful thinking, but even an imagined advantage had to help a little, right?

Max snorted a little, shifting to get more comfortable even though he knew it probably wouldn't happen. Until Lucas wrapped an arm around him, and maybe he was a bit too old to cuddle, but he'd never really cared before, so he moves a little closer and closes his eyes. He's okay, at first, until Lucas asks the question.

He thinks about not answering. About pretending the dreams don't exist...the same way they both pretended that their powers didn't exist on occasion. But eventually he sighs, drums his fingers against the bed for a moment. "No," he finally answers. "Everything's really...fuzzy. Like...covered in shadows but it's almost like...almost like the shadows themselves move...keep me from ever being able to adjust. Except for...except for the one house. But there's never...it's just me. Alone. No animals. No nothing. Just me. At least...usually."

Lucas rubbed his fingers against Max's arm, trying to soothe them both enough to relax and hopefully get to sleep. "Usually?" It sounded more or less like his own dreams, but he didn't like the sound of those last words. "What do you see when it's not just you?" He knew neither of them wanted to talk about this, but maybe it was time they stopped pretending they didn't happen or ignoring them.

"I saw a wolf tonight," he added quietly. "A beautiful white wolf with golden eyes."

"I'm usually looking for you," Max admitted, and he had been afraid in the past that if he ever mentioned that he'd feel stupid, childish, but he didn't. It was just a fact. Especially in the last few years, Max didn't go anywhere without Lucas, so even in a dream his absence was noted. "I..." he pauses for a moment, chews on his bottom lip, tries to let the fingers rubbing against his arm soothe him. "I always feel...really...wrong so I think...I think I've always been afraid...what would happen...when I found you..."

Saying that surprises Max a little, because he's never allowed himself to think about it. It makes sense though, that he would be nervous without Lucas by his side, especially in a world that felt so off to him every time he was in it. "Usually it's just me but...last night there was this kid. Like, eight maybe? Short little thing, bright hair. Never saw his face...never even got close to him...but he felt...I don't know, familiar maybe?"

He doesn't want to talk about it anymore. His voice is hitching oddly, blunt nails digging into his palms, and he forces himself to relax again before he tilts his head up slightly. "Why a wolf?" he wonders, though he doubts Lucas knows anymore than he knows the kid in his own dream.

Lucas smiled faintly, actually a bit touched that even in his dream Max would be looking for him, though the codependency thing between them was getting to be a bit much. It couldn't be healthy, but what else could they do? There weren't exactly a lot of people lining up to tag along with them. Most people seemed to pick up pretty quick on what they were, or they were caught stealing or looting and trackers were sent after them. He'd lost count of how many were on their trail.

"Familiar?" He nodded faintly. "Sounds right... so did the wolf... Like I knew it somehow. Maybe they're guides or something." Or maybe they were reaching the point when their powers would consume them and interacting with those in the dream would be their downfall... Shit. He shouldn't have thought about that. Now sleeping seemed like the worst possible idea, but it wasn't like they could stop it. They could go for days without sleep, but eventually it would catch up with them and they'd pass out, or die from the stress of it.

"Why don't we both... find them and see what they want this time?" If they were going to lose themselves because of whatever was in their dreams, they may as well do it together rather than one of them live with knowing what they'd done.

Max sighed a little. He'd been worried Lucas would agree...which meant their dreams were probably more similar than they were different. Basically shattering the idea that they could be anywhere near normal. Which would be nice. Normal nightmares with normal issues and normal creepy shit jumping out at him.

"Because they're terrifying?" Max offered. He'd never done good with nightmares. Even as a kid. At five years old he'd been too damn stubborn to seek solace between his parents, but he hadn't needed to. He had Lucas' bed to climb into at night. Now here he was, nearly grown, and he was basically pulling the same shit.

He was tired though...either on his own or because the meds were kicking in. He wasn't going to be awake much longer, so he sighed deeply, cuddled up a little bit closer. "Wake me up," he mutters. "If it gets bad...wake me up."

Lucas tightened his arm around Max when he pressed closer. "As terrifying as snakes or spiders?" he asked, trying to lighten the mood. He knew Max hated the nightmares, more than he ever had himself, but there was no escaping them. They couldn't keep trying to run forever.

"I'll be here. I'll dangle you out the window in your boxers if that's what I have to do to wake you."

He hugged his brother close and kept stroking his arm, willing Max to be able to feel his presence in the dream. Maybe it would help keep him calm so he could face whatever it was with a clear head.

"You're an asshole and I hate you," Max mumbled, though without any real heat, before he finally fell asleep. It was actually so anticlimactic he didn't realize he was asleep until the stones formed under his feet. Max sighed shakily, hands reaching up to rub his arms, before he pulled his gaze off the ground and watched the world build up around him.

He didn't walk at first, because the anxiety didn't kick in. He waited for it, expect it to be there, but it just...wasn't. He felt warm, anchored, and he wasn't sure why...wasn't sure what was different.

Max glanced over his shoulder, looking at the part of his world he'd never ventured towards before, but there wasn't anything there...a mirror image of what was before him, buried in shadows, constantly shifting. There was nowhere to go but forward then.

"Okay, Lucas," he muttered, watching his breath fan up around him. "I'm doing this."

But when he starts walking, it goes so slow, like he can't reach his goal or something...he doesn't feel like he's taking slow steps, but the scenery fades like he is. Three blocks down and the sweat breaks out, followed by a shiver down his spine that causes him to clinch his teeth together. The shadows are too close, and Max wished he had...

Light.

He pulls his arms off his shoulders, looks down at his palms. No cuts. He lifts his arm, glances at his bicep where a scar rested in the real world...but it's not there. So if he couldn't be hurt here...could he use magic here? Without the consequences?

He barely has to make the decision before the flame appears above his palm, a perfect ball of yellow and orange, throwing off light in every direction. It doesn't help much...the stones below his feet are gray, the grass in the yards off green, even with light it's like he's looking through tented vision.

The house is there suddenly, the shadows pulled back away from it, front door wide open...Max stands in front of it for a moment, glances over the dark wood, wonders where he is. There's no address, no calling card, no number...he sighs, steps inside, and makes his way straight into the back yard.

The little boy is there, head tilted back this time, looking at the sky. There's black flames dancing upwards, disappearing into the shadows, and Max wonders why his are black...what that means...

"Hey," he says. Nothing. "Hey," a little louder. No response.

He closes his palm over the flame in his hand, takes a step closer. Then the anxiety kicks in, full force. His heart goes to beating, the sweating gets worse, the wrong settles on his shoulders. Turn around. Leave. Go back. Bad. Bad. Bad.

He ignores it, takes another step. "Kid." Nothing. He reaches forward, hand going for the knobby little shoulder, and then it all disappears in a blast of smoke and it hurts. It hurts so much Max is sure he curls up into himself...maybe into Lucas, grabs onto something warm and familiar and safe.

But he doesn't wake.

There's no new dream.

He just sleeps.

Lucas snorted. "I'm amazing and you love me," he retorted. He glanced down at Max when he relaxed into sleep, watching him closely for what seemed like hours, waiting for some kind of sign of...anything. He sighed softly and slumped into his pillow, lightly running his fingers through Max's hair. He looked younger when he was asleep. And clean.

Sometimes it was easy to forget how young Max was, but he was still just a kid. Sixteen. Or was he seventeen now? Eighteen? He almost felt bad for not knowing, but the past few years they'd had more important things to worry about other than birthdays. Half the time he wasn't even sure what the date was anyway.

He made an effort to have some kind of celebration when it neared what he assumed to be Max's birthday, though it usually consisted of gifting him with stolen goods.

He continued rubbing Max's arm, yawning and wondering if the danger had passed. Maybe the drugs helped keep the dream from even forming. Just when he was about to drift back to sleep himself, there was a pain in the back of his neck and Max curled into him.

"Max? Max!" He shook his brother's arm, fighting the panic and taking a deep breath. Of course Max wouldn't wake. The drugs would keep him asleep for a few hours at least before wearing off. He wrapped his arms around Max and rubbed at his back. "Come back to me as yourself, little brother," he whispered, drifting back to sleep himself.

When Max woke up it was hours later at least, because the sun had risen to the point that it washed the room in brightness. He wasn't surprised he'd slept through that. Normally, when the nightmares weren't a thing, Max could sleep anywhere at anytime. You couldn't really be picky in their life.

He was still curled up around Lucas, enough so his face was pressed against his brothers side enough that he wondered logically if he could breath like that. Awake it was a little bit harder, so he eventually pulls himself away, rolls until he can stretch his limbs out. Now that he's properly slept he somehow still feels tired...but his body feels better.

Still smells like flowers though.

When he sits up and rubs his hands over his face the motions are slow, like the drugs hadn't completely warn off or something, but he doesn't care. He'd rather wake up groggy than angry. So there was that at least.

Lucas slept deep and wasn't bothered by dreams. At least for a while. A brief reprieve was usually all either of them got.

When the dreams came with its shadows, he was ready and for once he didn't hesitate about taking that first step. The shadows seemed to give him a wider berth and he didn't feel quite as claustrophobic as he walked. The movements of shapes along the edges happened more often, but nothing came at him as usual. At least not until he saw the golden eyes and stopped walking, watching them drift closer before the white-silver wolf came into view. It walked right up to him, circled him, head low towards the ground and watching him in return as if...considering him.

Do you desire power?

He spun, looking for the source of the voice, but he saw no one. Nothing except the wolf. Even the movement of shapes in the shadows had stopped.

"What?" Some distant part of his mind thought he should be more concerned that he was talking with a wolf, but it was a dream. Stranger things could happen, right?

Do you desire power?

His skin felt cold. This had to be a trick. A test. He needed to leave, to wake up before he... made a choice that would destroy him and take him away from Max. But he couldn't run, couldn't make himself wake up. And the wolf just stood there, watching him, waiting for an answer.

"I... only want control over it... I want to stay myself." He just hoped the wolf understood what that meant.

The golden eyes grew brighter and he swore he saw the wolf...smile before it lunged at him, knocking him to the ground. And then there was a sensation of pain as sharp teeth sank into his neck and shoulder, followed by a warmth that suffused his entire body and dragged him into a deeper sleep.

It was hours later when the feeling of his body pillow moving urged him towards waking. He groaned and shifted to his back, wincing as he felt his shoulder tingling from being slept on wrong. "Time 's it?" he asked, his words slurred as he cracked an eye open against the sunlight. Gold flecked and swirled in what had been solid, dark green before.

"Mid day?" Max guessed, glancing down at the streams of sunlight flooding across the ground. There was a clock in the corner of the room, but it was still on the same time from the night before, so Max didn't trust it. The concept of time hadn't really mattered for them in awhile. At first, they'd kept a solar powered watch but...they'd lost it somewhere and then it just...stopped being important.

Max looked down at his wrists, rubbing them slightly, one after the other. He felt fine...better than he had in awhile, but there was an odd ache...somewhere in his joints, maybe. Deeper possibly. He couldn't be sure.

Max crashed back down on the bed, pausing for a moment before shifting close enough to press himself against his brother again. He was clingy in the morning. Whatever.

Something seemed...different...off. But Max ignored it, pushed it to the back of his mind. He was probably just tired. "Sleep well?"

Lucas tilted his head to squint at the window, yawning and deciding to be lazy. He was still tired, though he at least was starting to feel rested. He stretched out with a long groan, dropping his arm around Max when he cuddled back up against him. "Well enough. You?"

He poked at Max's side. He wanted to ask if Max was still Max, but his brother knew that. The fact he was acting like Max was enough for him.

And he still felt like himself, which was a plus. Even if his head felt...full and he could feel the tingle of power at his fingertips.

"Should eat something. Should be some bread left in my pack."

"Dream was weird," Max admitted, swatting at his brothers hand when his side was poked. He still didn't really want to talk about it, but he figured he needed to. He didn't elaborate for awhile, just stayed cuddled up and warm. Finally, he sighs. "I wasn't...scared, like usual. I don't know why. Maybe because I had a plan, or maybe the pill? Anyway...I got all the way to the yard but...I tried to touch the kid and then..."

He winces, remembering how much it hurt, and shakes his head before he huffs out a sigh and pushes himself out of bed. He runs his hands through his hair as he goes through both of their packs. There's a little bit of bread left, so he pulls out to rolls and their water bottles. There's a pack of gold fish in his bag, small, but he grabs that too and goes back to bed, sitting cris-cross and picking his roll apart.

"What about you? Did you dream?"

Lucas raised an eyebrow though didn't press Max to continue when he stopped. They hadn't talked about their dreams much. It would take time to be able to pry without pissing the kid off. He sat up and scooted back to prop against the wall, snagging his water bottle to sip on.

Yeah. Saw the wolf again." He flipped his lid over between his fingers. "It bit me." His shoulder still ached and he reached up to rub at it, wincing. It felt sore to the touch. He dropped his hand and took another drink.

"Asked if I wanted power..." Now that he was awake, he was convinced it had been some sort of test. He felt the warm tingle of power in his fingertips again, rubbing them together before clenching them into a fist.

Max snorted, popping another piece of bread in his mouth. "Go figure. You dream about wolves and it actually talks to you. I get a person and not a word."

The statement worries him a little though. He rubbed his wrists again, glanced down at his palms. The cuts were there, where they belonged, but he thinks about the fire. He'd never used his magic that much in real life. The biggest thing he usually did was making himself disappear, and only on the rare occasion he really, really needed it. But it...didn't feel the same as making stuff.

He looked up again, shrugged, and then something caught his attention. Dropping his roll he lifted up on his knees fluidly, leaning forward to grip his brother's jaw loosly. "Hey, look at me..."

Max and his brother had similar eyes, they always had. But while Lucas' were dark green, Max's were light, almost jade. But they were solidly colored, no rings, no specks, no in-between mixture. He leaned a little closer, using his fingers to push Lucas' face away from the sunlight.

No. There was definitely gold there.

"Your eyes are different."

"Just goes to show I'm special," Lucas replied dryly. He drained the rest of his water before eyeing Max when he shifted closer.

"What? Why?" Instinct had him starting to lift a hand to smack at the one grabbing his face before he stopped himself. It was Max, even if he was acting weird. He stared at his brother as his head was moved, a cold tingle creeping up his back.

"What do you mean different?" he asked, voice almost a growl as he finally had enough and pulled away. He rolled off the bed and moved to stand in front of the mirror sitting above the dresser, leaning in to get a look.

Gold. And not just a speck of it. It...moved. Pulsed as if it were alive.

What. The. Fuck?!

He reached up and pulled at his eyelids, turning his head different ways, half hoping it was just a trick of the light, but it stayed. The same... bright gold the wolf had.

His hand dropped to his shoulder and he hesitated, not wanting to see if there was a wound or something there. That would mean the dreams weren't just dreams. The dreams were real. Real in a way that could hurt them outside of the dreams.

His fingers trembled as he tugged the collar of the sweatshirt down, staring at the bruised, purplish skin. There were no bite marks, but there was a strange mark in the center, though he couldn't make out what it was beneath the bruising.

"Shit..." he whispered.

Max held up both his hands in surrender at his brother's voice, backing off at the same time Lucas pulled away. He fell back down into a sit, going back to his makeshift breakfast, gaze following the older male as he went to the mirror.

Lucas looked at himself for awhile, changing the direction, doing what Max had done and making sure it wasn't the lighting or something weird. It wasn't, he knew that, but for once he keeps his snide comments bitten down.

He pulled one of his knees up, resting his chin on it, chewing on the last piece of his bread while Lucas pulled at his sweatshirt, looking at something Max couldn't see from his position. What he could see though was the way Lucas' shoulders were drawn up tense,

"They're real, huh?" he heard himself ask. "The dreams."

But what the hell did that mean? What difference did it make? Did it mean Max using magic in his dream would come back to bite him in the ass? What if they got more dangerous than that? What if...what if one day he really didn't wake up?