Female Forums v. Male Forum Requests

So I was having a convo with my friend who also frequents this site - she is a pysch major in college. We were discussing how different in general, the rp requests are on the "requests by males" versus "by females".

Here are a few observations made:

Female Forum:
1. Tend to be more plot based requests.
2. Even if there is an emphasis on smut, tends to be more back story/explanation of the build up.
3. Tend to be more "play" demands (length of post, types of rps, rules, etc.)
4. Tendency for dominant males/equal roles.

Male Forum:
1. More smut based requests.
2. Many requests for submissive female roles.
3. Fewer rules or "play demands".
4. Shorter posts versus female forums.

I just thought it was interesting observation. Keep in mind, we aren't judging or pointing fingers, and of course its not true of ALL posts, but it was a interesting dynamic we observed.

Any thoughts or comments?

I haven't really noticed this, but I only read the "Roleplay Requests By Females" forum anyway.

Yeah, I thought it was weird when I learned that men and women are different, too. I'm still kinda flipping out over men being able to grow hair on their faces.

First of all, Rudolph Quin, LOL.

Well it isn't all that strange when you consider the complex differences in society, the upbringing of female and male people, the chemical, hormonal and biological differences, the hammy shallowness of 'appropriate' 'normal' behaviour that is in constant flux in society, real desires vs expected desires, socialisation skills and development depending on environment and/or assigned gender, gender roles...the list is endless, lol.

Post-pubescent males for example take the longest leap from their biological origins of a fetus; the sudden increase and dominant presence of Testosterone is a powerful change for many young men, commonly acutely increasing sex drive on average (compared to the post-pubescent female average). This has a huge influence on socially acceptable sexuality, sexual openness, sexual roles and sexual desires for men and women, and people have a very repetitive habit of simplifying things to the point that they cause ruts in human social understanding en masse and per individual. There are many arguments as to the scientific and evolutionary benefits of the changes post-puberty in male and female people, I'm sure most of you are aware of what they are.

Personally post-puberty I wasn't any more kinky, for example, just more sexually responsive and sexually impulsive. However I guess I wasn't grown up in a typical hypermasculine environment so maybe my behaviour differs a bit from average guys my age?

I feel like social influences have a far bigger affect than biochemical ones tbh. I mean the idea of Nature vs Nuture is kinda stupid to me- its clearly an intricate mixture of both. But some behaviours are learned and taught, encouraged and cultured. If it wasn't so, civilisation simply wouldn't have existed at all. We would be simply trying to survive, breed and genetically prosper, as is, arguably, the biochemical impulse. But instead many many years since our more primitive origins, we have an endlessly interconnected emotional, individual, social and international system that affects every fibre and event in our lives.

So ye

In general i’d say theres a lot more similar between the two than there are differences. Being that I look for female characters to RP with – I read through a lot of requests in the request by females forum RP. There are a lot that are as you say, more descriptive in what they want, with specific ruless, roles, etc and have expansive plot ideas. Just as many or perhaps more tend to be fairly nondescript with ideas like ‘teacherxstudent, bossxsecretary, jockxnerdy girl’, with there being no real meat to those plots and just a somewhat longish list of rather generic/unfleshed out RP pairings that they want to do. There’s nothing wrong with that, but it is a noticeable trend that you can look for without a lot of hard work.

Now males – males do quite a few of the same things, or want more smut stuff. Which is again fine, not everyone wants to or has to write Shakespeare or anything! I have to admit my ideas aren’t always the most fleshed out and detailed, part of it is wanting to leave tinkering open to a particular partners likes and to be malleable, and part of it is that I don’t always like having every initial detail planned. I like some stuff happening through the RP as a surprise. Some of my stories are more story oriented, others? Not so much. Theres no rhyme or reason behind which ones are and aren’t – other than the initial idea that I get while working on putting them down to text. As for a lack of rules? Honestly, I just tend to go with basic common sense, I never feel a need to write down rules and expect people to follow them to the letter.

Said-The-Raven, with all due respect, I disagree with most your assertions, except for maybe number 1.

Male Forum:
1. More smut based requests. (I'll agree on that one)
2. Many requests for submissive female roles. (Disagree. There are those of us who wish there were more females wanting to play the dominant role than there are on BMR)
3. Fewer rules or "play demands". (And here I thought I'd put too many rules on my request. I disagree.)
4. Shorter posts versus female forums. (I disagree. Before approaching a female member about role playing, I have a habit of reviewing some of their previous role plays to avoid hooking up with a RP partner who give one-sentence posts. And I've found the same number of one sentence posts by them as by males.)

I agree with Dale. For the many years I've been in BDSM online/IRL spaces and roleplaying forums, the submissives vastly outpopulate the dominants by ratio. It just so happens that male submissives are overlooked a lot because masculinity dictates a domineering, powerful, unweak, leader, moneymaker, disciplinarian role in relationships.

EDIT:
Additionally one could also argue that Female request forums are always the same:
- Always wanting to play submissive roles/find dominant males
- Self indulgent protagonists/main characters (the 'Mary Sue')
- Shoujo, Slice of Life plots - highschool or coffee shop romances

Of course these are just generalisations bordering on archetype

dale232 said:

Said-The-Raven, with all due respect, I disagree with most your assertions, except for maybe number 1.

Male Forum:
1. More smut based requests. (I'll agree on that one)
2. Many requests for submissive female roles. (Disagree. There are those of us who wish there were more females wanting to play the dominant role than there are on BMR)
3. Fewer rules or "play demands". (And here I thought I'd put too many rules on my request. I disagree.)
4. Shorter posts versus female forums. (I disagree. Before approaching a female member about role playing, I have a habit of reviewing some of their previous role plays to avoid hooking up with a RP partner who give one-sentence posts. And I've found the same number of one sentence posts by them as by males.)

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I guess they're not specifically saying, "Hey I want a sub," but there are definitely more males willing to dominate rather than submit (or just know that they're going to dominate because females want to 'submit'). That being said, the opposite of domination isn't really submission, and I think most roleplayers (both male and female) like a changing power dynamic rather than sticking to one specific sexual role. Not all roleplayers go into BDSM themes, where clear expectations of 'dom' and 'sub' are laid out, so the definition of each is fuzzy for those of us who don't tend to engage in that type of roleplay or lifestyle.

Females, by far, articulate their rules/expectations/demands way more than males do. I mean, males have them as well, and it's common to expect that section of some sort in a request thread, but I do notice that the 'rules' section is sooooo much longer in female request threads. More than half my request threads are just talking about what I like and expect in a roleplay... Everything from literacy to sexual kinks to mechanics to character development. And I agree that females tend to include more of that, or longer sections, in their request threads.

I think Raven means 'shorter' posts as in, shorter request threads. Which is true. Women (or those that have request threads up in a female persona) just seem to type way more than males. I notice that males (usually) go straight into rules and ideas, and are more straightforward with what they're looking for. Females have multiple sections, often long, and tend do some major explanations.

Of course, there are males who have long, detailed threads and females with short, concise threads, but then, Raven did say they were just generalizations.

EDIT:
I think it's easier to separate roleplayers' request threads, not based on gender, but on 'seriousness' or whatever you want to call it. Think about it. In any request thread, male or female, the ones who like longer, 'high caliber' or detailed writing tend to have really long/detailed request threads with multiple sections explaining what they're interested in. Those who don't have shorter request threads in comparison to those monster-length threads. The goal of having a long list of expectations or rules or whatever, is to attract writers who have the same interests as far as writing style and 'literacy', right? I think that's a fairer separation to make, rather than just 'male' or 'female'. But then that brings up the topic of seeing more of those lengthy, detailed threads in the 'female section'. Are there just more female writers who are looking for lengthy, plot based roleplays or what?

I find myself agreeing with Dale, and Tierhund.

The only area I differ from them is that I do not search for dominant females, and am not interested in writing submissive male characters, but it is extremely difficult to find non-submissive (as distinct from dominant) female characters to write against.

As Aria states, the opposite of domination is not submission, however there appears to be a belief held by many that a story can not take place without a 'Dom' and 'Sub' being designated before the first word is placed on the page, and that one must be submissive in order to be dominated. In my opinion, this theme/thought process can be seen much more clearly on the Female boards than the Male boards, and is not restricted to a sexual/BDSM context.

Outside of the rare 'Female as Domme' thread, it's nigh on impossible to find a role/plot in the Female request section where the author displays any willingness to portray a character who enters the story with her own agenda, or independent motivations, which is diametrically opposed to the majority of male requests, and expectations placed on male characters. That, in itself, leads to a more subtle, but intrinsic, 'Male = Dom/leader, Female = Sub/follower', story dynamic, and appears to equate sexual submissiveness with intellectual submissiveness.

I do agree that the male requests are more smut-orientated, and that they tend to have fewer rules outlined. Though that doesn't mean we don't have them, XD. As for longer/shorter posts. I think that's dependent on the individual, and not gender.

In my experience, limited as it may be, I do find that males are maybe less wordy in an open statement like a request thread, but tend to be also, by the same token, much more willing to accomodate what I want then girls (Don't get it wrong, I love playing with girls, but girls have agendas OOC, get what they want the way the want it, guys give their characters an agenda but they themselves will change their game plan if needed be), so each group has its own flavor, but I like'em both

And before anyone complains, I love playing a Domme, for guys and girls, might not be the best at it yet, but like anything, practice makes perfect I guess

You can always find gender biases, if you want to look for them, in any environment. Especially an environment like this, where you are expected to present yourself off in order to attract a partner. As I read the original post I thought of what Ariamella put beautifully:

Females, by far, articulate their rules/expectations/demands way more than males do. I mean, males have them as well, and it's common to expect that section of some sort in a request thread, but I do notice that the 'rules' section is sooooo much longer in female request threads. More than half my request threads are just talking about what I like and expect in a roleplay... Everything from literacy to sexual kinks to mechanics to character development. And I agree that females tend to include more of that, or longer sections, in their request threads.

Click to expand...

This, to me, goes back to gender roles where females are expected to know what they want, speak it, and leave it at that. Males will accommodate to a partner, but may not be as explicit in what they want, or have fewer wants in a partner; again this is not universal but I am sure you can always find commonalities if you look. Though I know I have a longer rule section than most, I think you can find lengths of all types in either gender but the tendency I believe goes back in what each gender is taught in how to describe what they want. Men will be short, to the point, but women will have details prepared and ready to write down. It's not universally true, but I think this is what you are seeing. Though don't forget this is a more scholarly based community so the results will be skewed as everyone has specific wants and needs, and expresses them differently.

While there are individual differences, I would agree that...

Men tend to lean more towards smut while Women lean more toward story.

Women tend to desire to be submissive and wish the male to be dominant.

I think that request lengths and rules for play can vary between the two sexes. That being said, it wouldn't surprise me for men to be less restrictive to get the job done so to speak.

To add my own personal observation, Once I accidentally posted my request thread in the Female Forum instead of the Male Forum.

I didn't notice it at first until I saw my view count was abnormally high. I asked for it to be moved, but not before I had rude PMs from guys telling me off.

This tells me that either more men read request threads than females or that there is a higher male to female ratio of sexual roleplayers. Or a combination of both. If we look at cultural expectations of gender, it is easy to see why.

With these trends in mind, it is easy to see that the most neglected demographic of roleplayers are the submissive males. -sad sigh-

so you are saying my RT looks like something a woman would write up???

Oh boy this thread can only end so well.

MellowYellow said:

Oh boy this thread can only end so well.

Click to expand...

LAWL. Right?

Okay, this has me thinking, and now I'm curious...

How hard would it be to come up with a model and take a sample to run a few numbers against? Can we run a poll for males and then one for females, say with 10ish responses each?


What does your greatest craving come from?
A desire for a good story
A desire for a good lovemaking scene
A desire to be submissive
A desire to be dominant
A desire to fulfill my need for smut
A desire to engage in erotic acts that are otherwise impossible in the real world
A desire to express my creativity through writing (This is what I would pick)
A desire to simply get off ( This is the one I would pick IF I was honest, bwahahaha)
A desire for furries
A desire for social interaction

etc etc...

Let's throw a chink in the chain. To keep it simple, what about those who have requests in both sections? That is, again keeping it simple, girls and/or guys who WRITE either gender. How do you compare that or can you? Basically, this has me thinking that most trends--at least in this kind of dealy--are rather skewed. People see what they want. My thing? Who cares so long as you find a golden RT--independent of the writer behind the screen--meshing with your own.

I've got no idea on any of this. Interesting read though. I generally stay in General chat, sometimes I'll reach out to someone if I think they are interesting. I don't have a request thread myself. If I did it would probably be survival horror related with very little sex (my reading interest at the moment).

I think as an 'adult' RP website we attract more of the R-18 crowd from males and more RP crowd from females.


which reminds me I was in an open RP a few months ago and disappeared.


whoooops.

As DA touched upon, the two forums are really just vague categories. Anyone of any gender/sex can post in either forum, which coupled with the anonymous nature of the Internet, makes the discussion moot from a standpoint of gender/sex. Can you accurately discuss the posting habits of women in one particular forum when we don't know how many are actually women? The answer is a firm "NO". What we can discuss is the posting habits of users who post threads in the female or male request forums, and how that relates to the generally perceived mental attributes of both sexes (I won't bother to get into the later, draw your own conclusions). I would like to give Said-The-Raven the benefit of the doubt, due to the language used in her opening post, that the observation was posed with this in mind anyway (at least as a consideration).

While I have no real data to back up how I feel, only my own vague recollection, I do not agree entirely, or disagree entirely, with Said-the-Raven's observations. After opening ten threads (small sample, I know) in both forums, I found very little to support many of the perceived differences stated so far in this thread. Generally, I feel that both forums are teeming with users that are looking for instant, sexual gratification. I do not recall noticing any significant difference between the two forums in this regard. Most users that are seeking out more "story" based role-plays seem to typically be somewhat fewer, with neither forum being more densely populated with those users.

Personal experience tends to lead me to believe that there are nicer threads in the female requests forum. These threads are few and far between, as the vast majority of the request threads (male or female) on this website are poorly formatted (if at all), garish, and/or plain ugly. People tend not to come here to sit around and tinker with BBCode, and I can't blame them.

I'll agree that many of the threads in the female request forum seem to advertise a preference for playing "submissive" characters. I have noticed a few in the male request forum as well, but the female request forum seems to have more.

I'm even inclined to agree that the female request forum has more threads that feature exacting standards and stringent rules. Seeing as how these threads seem to be viewed more often, it's reasonable to think that there is a larger pool of potential, browsing users attempting to fulfill requests. I'm inclined to believe that this may lead to more sour experiences, which provokes the desire to weed out undesirables. I've also noticed that there are quite a few lesbians that refuse to role-play with anyone but their own sex in the female request thread (as if they would actually notice if anonymity is upheld). I do not normally notice this same trend with gay role-players in the male request forum.

Think that's about all I feel like commenting on.

Female Forum:
1. Tend to be more plot based requests.

I disagree, I have found just as many smut based requests with the females as I have with the males.

2. Even if there is an emphasis on smut, tends to be more back story/explanation of the build up.

I disagree again, some Female requests are a couple of lines stating what they want kink wise and nothing else. Some are very clear that they just want the "final act" and are one shots.

3. Tend to be more "play" demands (length of post, types of rps, rules, etc.)

Disagree - See above. Although males also tend to be laid back generally speaking and OP I'm sorry but your request thread reads like a riot act.

4. Tendency for dominant males/equal roles.

I have found most Females want Dominant partners, the ones who lean towards romance want a little more equality but still want the man to lead.

Male Forum:
1. More smut based requests.

Disagree, I have actually found more interesting stories among the males than the females.

2. Many requests for submissive female roles.

This could be due to the lack of dominant females on here. But there are players who seek dommes.

3. Fewer rules or "play demands".

Men are more laid back generally speaking. Also you can't control what someone will write in their posts, you can say No One Liners, Story line, Don't dump the RP without telling me, you can write all of that stuff and people will still do it if they want to and you can't do anything about. In the end a long list of rules and expectations can make you sound overly demanding as well.

4. Shorter posts versus female forums.

Disagree again I think there are other factors at play such as age of poster, experience level, their interest in RP etc These factors can apply to either gender.