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Dude walks into a bar (M seeks F for debauchery, HUGE XCOM craving!)

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He really should have seen it coming, harharharhar.

So, guess I'm back from a hiatus. Couple months there. Fuckin'... personal life. Coming off some bad shit we don't need to talk about, but I'm back. A thousand apologies to those I sort of just left twisting in the wind, and if anyone sees this and wants to pick up something from before, I'm down. I owe you.

I'm thinking this is more of my general request thread. For a few super specific plots, click here!

Anyway, yeah, looking for some roleplay stuff. Little background on myself, I've been doing this about thirteen years. I started with some generic escapism with 2cool4u characters as a lame kid and eventually graduated into someone who knows how to write half decently. Really, I just like to write. There's little else as satisfying to me as stringing words together to paint a nice picture, with characters that are usually a little part of me and a little more whatever-the-fuck-sounds-fun. It just so happens that I actually really like bouncing ideas back and forth with other people and their characters, too. So... I started doing shit like this, instead of the book I keep telling myself I'll write one day.

I write a lot of actiony goodness. I like sword and board beatdowns, deep space dogfights, burnt out post-apocalyptic deserts... really, I'm into any sort of setting. Sex and story are both great. I don't want to have one without the other, and a roleplay can lean as heavily in either direction as it likes. Smut is great, but even a boner-inducing titty party needs a reason to happen! It just makes it that much better, trust me.

Gonna need a few little clerical details. Need you to know how to type properly, no text speak nonsense. I'll likely meet whatever post length you make, unless it becomes a three book series, in which case I congratulate you but I'm gonna stick to simpler fare. Also please just try to post on the regular. Lemme know if you're gonna disappear for a bit and can't get to me, or if you just wanna drop, that's fine too. OOC chatter is fun, whether we're talking shop or just hanging out. PMs are definitely my preferred means of roleplay, though I'm willing to hit the forums if you really prefer it that way. Messengers are doable as well, either AIM or YIM, but I'm not huge on them. I've got shit to do, and people on messengers have a harder time understanding that, it seems. Skype, too, but skype is for friends. Maybe one day we'll be friends and you can graduate to that one.

Speaking of the smut factor above, I was like... a little blown away when I saw some of the threads here. Not in a bad way! It was actually pretty exciting in its own way. Just goddamn was I totally unprepared. So a friend of mine suggested I make this f-list thingy, and I did. There are a few stipulations I wanna make, though. Also here's a link to the list

Chances are I'll only ever play a heterosexual male. Hard stance on that. However, I've noticed a good number of plots that actually look pretty sick, but require a female role. So... if a plot is really just great, I might be down to play a female with another female. Also, no kids. Ever. 18 at the lowest and even that's a little much, I like a nice American legal drinking age. And just a personal preference, but... if the ladies could actually be ladies. Just not comfortable otherwise. There's some stuff on the maybe list that I'm really like "uh... I could see me being into this but I'm not really sure yet," so I figure fuck it, let's experiment. Everything on the maybe list is open, just... maybe we talk first. Hell, maybe there's stuff not on the list that you wanna see. The worst I can do is say no, right? Hit me up.

So, I see a lot about dominant and submissive dynamics in relationships and... you guys I think that's boring as fuck. Characters should be more dynamic and have more features than "i like to be on the bottom during sex and be a meek little weenie all the time". Also, one thing I've noticed? A lot of people who play strictly subs seem to think that that means they've got full license to be lazy, to lay around and just take dick and wait for me to advance the plot all by my lonesome so they have a new location to lay around and take dick in. That is the boringest of the boring and I will get bored SO fast it will make both our heads spin, and probably drop you like Snoop drops hot things.

Saw a comic about the above. If this describes your 'submissive' type, don't message me. It'll be a waste of both our time.

Also goddamn. A lot of flaky people on this site. If you want out, just say so, don't leave me hanging. I see some of you dropping out of nowhere, even during the planning phase, then running off to bump your search threads. Shit is rude you guys. Just tell me if you don't wanna play anymore. I'm an adult, I can deal. Promise.

Plots... So, I'm gonna just start filling shit up below. Everything from settings I like, to specific pairings I think would be cool, or just characters I feel like playing. I'm also thinking of adding in some ready-made intros for people to look at and maybe decide they just wanna roll with what is already written. So... it might be a mess. It might not be! Who knows!



Don't see it here? Suggest it! seriously you guys i'm here to try new things as long as i'm not terrified of them. the right to say no is reserved, i swear i won't be judgy

CRAVINGS

-Alien Invasion. Willing to work out a plot on this one. Could be the start of one with everything blowing up and going to hell, could be the aftermath in which we play the human resistance. Could be lots of things. Alien smuttery is a potential point of discussion.
-Star Wars. Bounty hunters kicking ass and taking names. Fire fights, space battles, badassery, debauchery. Plot up for discussion.
-I've been playing Endless Legend as the Mezari. Basically, a ship full of space-faring folk makes a crash landing on a lush alien world with plenty of life on it. Lacking fuel, equipment for repairs, and a reasonable means of sending a message home, they set out into the world to make the best of things. I would LOVE to brainstorm something awesome in this vein.
-World of Warcraft. Let's start a garrison campaign and kill some orcs. Or fuck around in Northrend to bring down Arthas. If you play a draenei lady you will be my favorite.
-I love Space Marines, as any red-blooded citizen of the Imperium ought to. But god damn, there's a lot of fluff and background I'm not familiar with, and at the end of the day they're not exactly interesting characters. I want some sci-fi with big-as-fuck power armor, huge guns, impractical melee weapons, and a lot of aliens to kill. Lets lovingly rip off Warhammer 40k.
-Two roomies, best friends, friends with benefits, whatevs, live in the bad part of town. Suddenly, gunshots outside. Once it all quiets down, they find two corpses and two duffel bags full of money. It's time to skip town with a ton of money in the trunk.
-Something with a Rasputin sort of character. Basically a dude who cons his way into being the right hand man of a queen/empress/whatevs (likely finds his way to her bed as well), then abusing his power to engage in all manner of debauchery.
-A trade caravan moving across a frozen, zombie-infested America, trading between fortified human settlements. Raiders, cults, the cold, and of course, fast zombies are among the threats they'd face.
-HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS, MAD MAX. Oh my god, Mad Max. DID YOU SEE IT? THEY'VE GOT A TRUCK RIGHT, A TRUCK WITH DRUMMERS ON THE BACK, AND THE TRUCK ALSO HAS AN UNREASONABLE AMOUNT OF HUGE AMPS ON THE FRONT, AND THERE'S A GUY IN A ONESIE PLAYING METAL AND BOUNCING AROUND ON BUNGIE CABLES AND HIS GUITAR IS ALSO A FLAMETHROWER. I NEED THIS TYPE OF INSANITY IN MY LIFE. LET'S COVER A TRUCK IN SPIKES AND DEATH METAL AND EXPLOSIONS AND KILL PEOPLE WITH IT. Oh uh also it doesn't actually have to be Mad Max, I'm just looking for some post-apocalyptic goodness in that same vein. With the cars and the wasteland and yeah.
-Shit, I dunno. I'm kinda just craving some modern debauchery. We'll figure out a plot.
-Space pirates, with a side of smuggling. Could totally be Star Wars.
-Demon hunting. We could both be hunters, or one hunter and one demon. Could get weird, in a good way.
-
So, this one is definitely smutty. And weird. Basically, you're an adventurer. Amateur status or expert, that's up to you. You're gonna go exploring, see. I've done this in a few different ways. Fantasy setting, modern tomb-raiding setting... think the coolest was in the 50s or so, all noir status. So, whatever setting floats your boat, that's what we'll go with. So you go into this tomb or cave or crypt or whatever... and holy shit, there are monsters. Specifically, monsters that wanna jump your bones. Generally with some sort of tentacular appendage. See where this is going?

Simple dice rolls determine the outcome, with modifiers added and subtracted from rolls based on circumstance and all that. It... is generally very smutty. Though I've managed to have some actually decent plots out of it, too, if a bit cheesy. And continuously broken up by tentacles because the adventurer rolled a 1 and had to pay the price. We can talk about a roll system, or if we even want to do one, and all kinds of other stuff. It actually gets pretty entertaining, too, if you can avoid taking it too terribly seriously.
-Something involving vampires. Seedy, night-club filled underbelly of some city? Check. Possible drug and alcohol use, with added creativity because vampires? Check. Kinky? Probably.
-Fallout 4 hype! I'd be way down to do something Fallout related.
-STAR WARS ANYTHING. STORY DRIVEN, SMUT DRIVEN, DON'T MATTER. NEED IT.
-I've been glancing at D&D 5e... could do something with that.
-Craving XCOM 2, and craving it hard. Either we lift something straight outta the game, or come up with something like it. Whatever the case, NEEEEEEED.
-I don't usually do this, but... I'd love something based on the general feel of this song. Barrett's Privateers, for those who can't see the link. Pirates! Probably down on their luck and with a great deal of humor involving get-rich-quick schemes.

SETTINGS/GENRES/IDEAS/WHATEVS

-Medieval/Fantasy
-Sci-fi
-Post-apocalypse (zombies, nuclear, plague, global warming, whatevs)
-Modern
-Steampunk (newish to this one but I have ideas)
-Cyberpunk (newish to this one too but it seems sexy and awesome and shiny and fun)
-Alien invasion
-Superheroes/Villains
-Dystopia
-Pirates

FANDOMS

-Star Wars (!!!)
-World of Warcraft
-Dragon Age
-Fallout
-Starcraft
-Mass Effect
-Game of Thrones
-Dead Space maybe or something similar
-Metro (2033, Last Light, that Metro)
-I will not do Tolkien. Middle Earth is sacred ground. Sorry friends, I know errybody's all hopped up on The Hobbit but no.
-Ask me about others, these just spring to mind. Worst I can do is say no. Fair warning, I hate anime, so that is just not gonna fly in general.

CHARACTERS AND PAIRINGS

In no particular order, just as shit comes to me... so long as it's not a gender specific role, I'm generally good to play either side.

-Vikings
-Viking x Shield Maiden
-Viking x Saxon. All viking shit must have battle going on. Smut is fine but I hate playing with weak-ass victim characters. They didn't land there just to plunder your pussy, there's blood to spill, gold to steal, and Amon Amarth songs to act out.
-Paladin/Warlock/Mage/insert-your-favorite-DnD-class-here x Demon
-Sneaky bastard rogues
-Bounty hunter x rogue
-Bounty hunters
-Assassins
-Jedi x Sith
-Sith lord x Sith apprentice
-Sith x Sith
-Jedi x Jedi MAYBE. I mean they're basically sexless monks. Sith is the superior choice.
-Bank robbers
-Witch hunter x Witch or whatever the gender-reverse of that is. Wizard and Wizard hunter? sheeit i dunno man
-Vampire x Hunter
-Vampire x Werewolf
-Vampire x Victim. All vampire shit must be gnarly and not at all related to Twilight.
-Battlemage. dude I think I just like saying "battlemage". battlemaaaaaaaage. battlemaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaage~
-Roman gladiator x Domina. Like Spartacus. Because Spartacus was the shiiiiit.
-Modern criminals
-Post-apocalypse raiders with Mad Max buggies and shit HELL YEAH
-There are seriously so many fantasy style pairings you guys. I'm willing to play pretty much any sort of fantasy archetype. A thousand different kinds of wizards and warriors and rogues sound fun and I'm just not gonna list all of 'em anymore.
-Man there's so much more shit, I'll post it here as I think of it.

PROMPT-TYPE-SHITS

Someone who is simultaneously fascinated with the occult and also down on their luck tries their hand at summoning a powerful demon to help them turn stuff around. The demon does stick around to help... but there's a price. An old one, but always pretty popular. I can play either role, and I always like seeing how different people run with it.

If you can believe it, this one's even less of a concrete deal than the others. Mostly because it can just go anywhere. Basically, two (or more!) characters are part of a trade caravan, going from place to place to peddle wares and get into hijinks. I think this one works well in a post-apocalypse setting, or a high-fantasy setting.

Mages, living hidden among the people of the world, practicing their craft in secret. Peasants and kings alike go about living their lives like anyone else, their powers kept a dangerous secret. The problem is, not all of them are good folk. This one can go a lot of ways, and work in a lot of settings. I've had a lot of luck in a number of settings from the Renaissance, to Victorian times, to a modern era. It can be as simple as a couple of people with magic at their fingertips getting up to hijinks, or it can involve world-threatening catastrophes. That's the fun of magic~


I'll be updating this thing pretty regularly as more shit comes to mind, check back!
 
RE: Dude walks into a bar (M seeks F for debauchery, new craving as of Jan. 24)

Oh a WoW player? Gotcha. Hehehe
 
RE: Dude walks into a bar (M seeks F for debauchery, new craving as of Jan. 24)

Bump for my buddy!
 
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