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Jolie's Journal (Comments Welcome) [First Post Has Status]

RE: Jolie's Journal (Comments Welcome, but Not Required) [First Post Has My Status]

DSC_1372_pe%2B-%2BCopy.jpg


Pretending to be artistic, playing around with an image I photographed at my last photoshoot.
 
RE: Jolie's Journal (Comments Welcome, but Not Required) [First Post Has My Status]

[img=400x225]https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-T_zcVhFS-4g/VEpzxdA_blI/AAAAAAAAAI4/D6BjXOHpSHM/w1598-h901-no/After%2BMovie%2BDinner%2BBBQ%2BStyle.jpg[/img]​

Those Annoying People Who Photograph Their Food?​

I plead guilty! My after-the-movie dinner, fattening, but tasty.
 
RE: Jolie's Journal (Comments Welcome, but Not Required) [First Post Has My Status]

[video=youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHqjJ9WYl0A[/video]

Raunchy? Guilty pleasure? Hilariously funny? I can't say, but I do know I got a tremendous kick out of this FX series.

[video=youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EM12mcTEI88[/video]

A new Peaky Blinders is up tonight, so I'll be watching it this evening. Sadly,
Clare isn't in this season ... yet.
 
RE: Jolie's Journal (Comments Welcome, but Not Required) [First Post Has My Status]

Discovered this a few years back.

IMG_70382.jpg

The Wartenberg pinwheel: the sharp edge of sensation play.

The verdict?

Lizzie

I actually find it quite hard to articulate my feelings about this particular toy as the sensations it generates are so unique. It plays a head-game with you because, mentally, you register its sharpness as a significant threat. And that’s its appeal; it has teeth (literally) and requires you to have total trust in your partner. A really great D/s toy that I would say is a toy box essential for those who enjoy sensation play. I like it a lot – but I’m also a bit scared of it!

Thomas

All I can say is I haven’t heard Lizzie moan like that in a while. It generated a remarkable level of moisture – which, obviously, told me that she found the effects of the Wartenberg pinwheel a real turn-on. A great toy for something so simple but I would use sparingly to keep it exciting.

- See more at: http://behindthechintzcurtain.com/2012/10/04/the-wartenberg-pinwheel-the-sharp-edge-of-sensation-play/#sthash.7EZBiPIB.dpuf
Click to expand...
 
RE: Jolie's Journal (Comments Welcome, but Not Required) [First Post Has My Status]

Skippable Content, I'm Posting Here More as a Notebook than for Anyone to Actually Read This; Pseudo Historical Content, Meaning I Make Up Anything I Want, but Pretend it's an Historical Settting

Draft first post for a role play tentatively called, "A Girl's Life in the time of Justinian the First."

Sweat beaded on the brow of the young girl as she climbed to top of the hill overlooking Sebastos Harbor. Peter watched over his goat herd there and though now fifteen and affianced to a good, Christian man in Alexandria, a man her father selected, she still enjoyed time spent with her childhood friend. Pausing at the ridge, she noticed four … no it was five wooden vessels low in the distance. They didn’t seem akin to other vessels that she had seen entering the harbor before, no sails. Wiping the sweat from her brow, the blue eyed girl practically ran up the last quarter mile of the hill, falling panting against a rock as Peter approached.

“Kayf Hallek Johara,” Peter called out in greeting.

“Ana Bicheran,” Johara said with a smile. Out here, she spoke her mother’s tongue, the language of the desert people. At home, her father would have punished her severely for indulging, Greek being the language of the educated class.

Peter smiled. “I’m glad you’re fine my pretty jewel.” They had known each other since each was a toddler and Peter felt comfortable teasing her out here. His quip referred to the fact that her name meant Jewel in her mother’s tongue. She had been born with startling blue eyes in an otherwise olive face. Her mother had named her jewel in acknowledgement of those extraordinary eyes.

Glancing up at the yellow sun, she adjusted her cap. It was so hot! She had thick black hair that if she ever let it down would reach to her knees. But no man but her future husband would ever see her hair down. She kept it braided and pinned up and her head covered. Pointing, she asked Peter. “Do you recognize those ships? They seemed headed to the harbor.

He frowned. “No.” Then he smiled. “Maybe they’ll have something amazing for trade. You should run back home and tell your papa.”

She stuck her tongue out at him. “Nonsense, I just got here. I want to see the new babies.” Peter had three new young kids in his herd.

Peter nodded. But he was still staring almost absent mindedly out toward the sea.

“Those vessels are certainly coming in fast. Maybe I was wrong habibiti. You stay here with the goats. I think I’ll be the one to head back into town and let your father know they’re coming. Stay here no matter what?” The black eyed sixteen year old youth’s voice held a curious intensity, causing Johara to look up in surprise from where she had just crouched to pet one of the babies.

“Is everything fine Peter?” Even though Peter was of the Bedouin like her mother, they were both Chalcedonian Christians. Johara’s Christian name was Verena, but no one but her father ever used it.

The boy nodded. “Yes all is fine Johara. But please, you will stay here.” He had already turned and was quickly making his way down the hill, nearly running, leaping from stone to stone.

Johara watched him for a moment and then turned curiously to the rapidly approaching vessels. Close enough now, she could see that their prows looked like some sort of great serpentine creature. Wrinkling her nose, she turned back to the goats. So cute!

da-114.jpg
 
RE: Jolie's Journal (Comments Welcome, but Not Required) [First Post Has My Status]

[video=youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07-3tQ42-n8[/video]​

Time to get up. Not work safe.​
 
RE: Jolie's Journal (Comments Welcome, but Not Required) [First Post Has My Status]

Guard.jpg


Give a girl a camera ... and pretty soon she'll want to take weird photographs. Actually, the security guard was faceless ... just blank white plastic ... and I thought that was sad, so I gave him a face.​

[video=youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqQuihD0hoI&list=RDEqQuihD0hoI[/video]​

A little Halloween themed music, Rod Zombie's Dragula,
 
RE: Jolie's Journal (Comments Welcome, but Not Required) [First Post Has My Status]

[video=youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGdGFtwCNBE#t=19[/video]

A little jealousy to kick start your morning.

"...

Now I'm falling asleep
And she's calling a cab
While he's having a smoke
And she's taking a drag

Now they're going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it's all in my head

But she's touching his chest now
He takes off her dress now
Let me go

I just can't look it's killing me
And taking control

Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis ... "

The Killers - Mr. Brightside Lyrics​
 
RE: Jolie's Journal (Comments Welcome, but Not Required) [First Post Has My Status]

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XKCD

*****​

In pursuit of old jokes,

“A biologist, a chemist, and a statistician are hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left; the chemist takes a shot and misses five feet to the right. The statistician yells, ‘We got him!’ ”

*****​

Another old joke and more in line with how I took some of my college exams,

A statistics major was hung over the day of her final exam. It was a true/false test, so she decided to flip a coin for the answers. Her stats professor watched as for the entire two hours, she flipped the coin over and over, writing the answer, flipping her coin, then writing the next answer.

After two hours, everyone else had left the final and the professor walked up to her desk and interrupts the student, saying, “Listen, you obviously didn't study, you didn't even open the exam. Since you're just flipping a coin, what is taking you so long?”

The student looked up irritated. "Quiet please! I'm checking my answers!”
 
RE: Jolie's Journal (Comments Welcome, but Not Required) [First Post Has My Status]

impostor.png


I've read XKCD for years. Picked up What if?, the book, at the library the other day. Fun stuff.
 
RE: Jolie's Journal (Comments Welcome, but Not Required) [First Post Has My Status]

[img=173x205]http://corvallistoday.com/corvalliscommunitypages/images_sounds/womankimono1.gif[/img]
​
In this world
love has no color--
yet how deeply
my body
is stained by yours​

Izumi Shikibu
 
RE: Jolie's Journal (Comments Welcome, but Not Required) [First Post Has My Status]

photodune-4166252-zucchini-xs-1-199x300.jpg

Things I've considered trying,

I've heard that receiving a blowjob while a woman has a mentholated cough drop or Altoid in her mouth creates an intriguing hot and cold sensation.

Wooden clothes pins as nipple clamps? I've been warned to avoid plastic clothes pins.


And things I've tried,

Hairbrushes, cucumbers (since I was a teen), being tied with things like scarves of course.

Too much information? Probably. And let's be honest, you probably don't care what I want to try or have tried. So why not read another person's advice on Five Everyday Household Items that Can Make You Scream.
 
RE: Jolie's Journal (Comments Welcome, but Not Required) [First Post Has My Status]

Useless Info about Jolie

In my late twenties now, I stand on the darkened highway leading to thirty and it's only a few off ramps away (I was going to say something about how thirty's headlights are barreling toward me at hyper speed, but it didn't make much sense and would be a mixed metaphor to boot).

So true facts, true facts, true facts. What to say?

I'm a navy brat. Grew up on military bases, lived overseas, had a blast as a kid. Got married at nineteen to a hard-drinking military man and ended up divorced a few years later. They were basically good years. But my ex drank hard and I tried to keep up with him.

Big mistake. I never drink to excess now. And by this I mean I have an occasional glass of wine with friends, maybe half a beer every six months, a shot of Grand Marnier in the right company. I also used to go clubbing and there was a lot of stuff passed under the table. I don't do any of that stuff anymore.

You see, after my divorce, I once met a guy and we ended up drinking from like two in the afternoon until after midnight. I remember staggering back to my hotel room with him. The next morning, I woke surrounded by ... well, I was sick. The guy was gone. He apparently bailed when I started to get sick.

I spent the morning cleaning up the room so that the maid wouldn't know what happened and that was the last time I ever got drunk or otherwise. I tend to be impulsive and I'm a slow learner. But I do learn.

Oh yeah, I also live down the street from a rocking little Vietnamese place and end up eating Chicken Pho for dinner far too often. They know me well.
 
RE: Jolie's Journal (Comments Welcome, but Not Required) [First Post Has My Status]

I'm a hack photographer =) I don't say that to engender "... oh no, you're halfway decent ..." comments. It's the truth. I never took lessons in lighting, I do it mainly as a second shooter, sporadically part time, mostly weddings, quinceañeras and other fun outings in exchange for a teeny tiny bit of cash. I just get a kick going to weddings, eating free food, listening to bad music, and hanging around happy people. And every now and then I get a free trip to Jamaica out of it where I can forget that when you take an air conditioned cold lens and camera out into the hot humid beach climate of Jamaica, everything is going to fog up ... badly. Anyway, I did some day-of-the-dead crap recently and can't post my "good" shots, because I gave them to someone else. But I took this one shot and had fun Googling the image to find out what images their algorithm thinks most closely matches my photograph.

This was their number one match,

images


It's so close to my image of a girl in white makeup laying next to a tombstone that it's uncanny! I was going to post my image, but the above one is actually better. Here is a different photograph I took of a model and messed with,

Bar-Girl_pe%2B-%2BCopy.jpg


If you look close, you'll see the fatal flaw and why I couldn't use it (hint, it involves power cords).
 
RE: Jolie's Journal (Comments Welcome, but Not Required) [First Post Has My Status]

[video=youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RrxePKps87k[/video]

A huge fan of Nick Cave forever, I was thrilled the first time I watched my new must-watch series, Peaky Blinders, and heard Red Right Hand was the theme song. It's also a nice mood tune for this time of year ... Halloween and all.

As long as I'm on Nick Cave, here's a bonus track. But warning! This video is NOT WORK SAFE.

[video=youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lneSAju-Xtc[/video]​
 
RE: Jolie's Journal (Comments Welcome, but Not Required) [First Post Has My Status]

I've listened to just about every version of 32-20 Blues and like most of them. I ended up going with Robert Johnson's version. This one is supposedly corrected for speed and pitch, which may or may not be right.

[video=youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atQKrYGSsJA[/video]

I don't know if I mentioned. I got invited on a quasi-date to go shooting. Even though my dad is retired military, I've never actually shot or even held a gun. When my friend heard that he was like, I'm taking you to the range and get you some gun safety lessons and experience shooting. I was like, hmm, might be cool. So maybe next weekend. On the theme of music about guns, let me Google and see what else pops up. Of course, the 1970s Punk Band, Gang of Four:

[video=youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQnOL_T6rc0[/video]
 
RE: Jolie's Journal (Comments Welcome, but Not Required) [First Post Has My Status]

Too much masculinity! I need a little something to clear my palate,

[video=youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHV04eSGzAA[/video]

By the way, Kimbra totally has my cousin's lips. I can't watch this video without thinking of her.
 
RE: Jolie's Journal (Comments Welcome, but Not Required) [First Post Has My Status]

norway.jpg



"MID-CENTURY TYPEWRITER IN EXCELLENT CONDITION. THE KEYS ALL WORK. THE TWEED CASE DOES HAVE SOME WEAR. BUT CLOSES TIGHTLY AND THE HANDLE IS TIGHTLY SECURED TO THE CASE. PLEASE DON'T HESITATE TO ASK ANY QUESTIONS AND WE OFFER RETURN IF NOT SATISFIED WITH THE BUYER PAYING RETURN POSTAGE. THANK YOU FOR YOUR INTEREST!"

Amanda sat at her desk pounding out her latest erotic novel on the old Royal typewriter she had purchased on Ebay last summer. When you live off the grid three months every year, a manual typewriter isn't as quirky an investment as you might think. It was forty degrees outside, but inside, her efficient little Rocket stove kept her one room cabin with loft almost too warm.

"You meant 'their' not 'there' in that last sentence." The smug, frankly condescending voice of her Christian Grey like protagonist sounded off her right shoulder. Amanda mistyped her next three letters.

"James! You know not to interrupt here when she's creating." The warm honey tones of Georgia sounded off her left shoulder."

"She was going to retype the page anyway, I saved her the editing process."

Amanda screamed and ripped the page from the typewriter and crumpled it up. James winced. Georgia tsked tsked. "In theory, characters coming to life sounds good," she bitched. But I would have scanned in the page when I got back, used OCR, and then corrected it!" She stamped her size six foot. "And didn't I tell you both, 'no advice when I'm writing?' None of my other characters edit my work."

James said sotto voiced, "they should."

Georgia shrugged. "He's right you know. You used the wrong 'there.' You do that a lot. And why is this latest novel 'gay porn?' I feel kind of left out. And is cockfest really a word?"

James gave Georgia a wicked grin. "If you want to go up to the loft my peach, I'll make sure you don't feel left out." Georgia shuddered delicately and blushed.

Frustrated, Amanda stood and closed the case. "I'm done writing for the day. I'm going for a walk. You two get it out of your system while I'm gone."

Georgia glanced over at James. "We should go with her. Remember last time?"

"She'll be fine," James said. "I don't think three roughneck gay cowboys are going to interrupt their ... err, cockfest ... to try and have their way with her like that moldy old bear did last time."

Georgia's eyebrows rose. "It was an anthropomorphic bear and hardly moldy." She shuddered delicately. "Remember exactly how our dear Amanda described its package?"

James grinned. "That one sold rather well on Amazon didn't it?"

Georgia bit her lower lip and then giggled. "Oh yes, but I think a lot of that had to do with the cover." Behind the two, Amanda pulled on her over boots and slammed the door. Hearing their writer leave, Georgia gave a husky purr and said, "Upstairs baby!"

"Hey!" James complained mildly. "Who's the dominant in our story? You or me?"

"Always you baby," Georgia replied with a sultry wink, "so let me get my soon-to-be naked ass upstairs and on the bed."

Outside, a tall, lean man with a black top hat scurried up to Amanda. "I'm just not feeling my motivation. Why I am always kidnapping these passive, submissive, stupid, silly and utterly annoying Mary Sue types? Can't I have a decent relationship with a real, thinking, independent woman? Please Amanda, I'm begging you."

Amanda sighed. "That stuff sells. And by the way, didn't I write your novel on my laptop back home?"

Cheeves, the secretly dominant butler who ravished his young lady mistresses at night, nodded. "Yes, but remember you did that edit on the Royal and sent if off two months ago."

"Oh yeah," Amanda nodded as she neared the incredibly blue waters of what was effectively her own private lake. "Fancy some fun while James and Georgia get busy?"

Cheeves grinned. "You know I do my dear; it's how I'm written. Let me get my rope!"
 
[video=youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LoP-YTjN7PA[/video]

So I guess this video can be summarized as follows. Girl gets bored with her cat and leaves for a night of acapella debauchery. She ends up a little battered and paint-stained wandering outside. Cat sees her, gets in car, and drives to save her. They go all weird happy dance and the cat gets huge. Happy ending?
 
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You and I in separate beds.
How'd I get it in my head,
we ever stood a chance?
Should have left it at a dance,
but took you in my heart instead.
Now the romance is so fucking dead.
You and I in separate beds.
Just kidding honey,
you snore and I like to stretch out.​
 
Slide1.jpg

Told my request thread was a hot mess and nearly impossible to read, I took a stab at simplifying it.

May have made it worse; c'est la vie.​
 
[img=480x360]http://www.patentspostgrant.com/images/PTAB-post-grant.jpg[/img]​

Quix's Internet Killers thread rocks, just saying. But and I say this with real regret, it does lack Lesbian Vampire Killers for those who require that plot element in any thread they read. Also, as fair warning, the thread is beautifully dark.



Lesbian-Vampire-Killers.jpg
 
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