Memoirs Of The Fifty-Second Of Zero

After two week's membership, I've decided I might keep a journal to help myself keep track of my partners and obligations thereto. I use the term "obligations" because, while I understand that most will say "Real life takes precedence to roleplay", I more believe that, in beginning an RP with someone, I give myself an obligation to ensure they enjoy writing with me as much as possible. I see roleplaying as just another form of writing, and writing as one of the arts. The arts are my life; ergo, roleplay is—after a fashion—a facet of that. So, let's begin this trainwreck.

Let's see... well, I just confirmed my suspicions about KimiDoll. I'm not a well-known user here (hopefully I never will be), but I like lurking around the boards while waiting for replies or for my brain to finally turn on so I can reply. I wonder, though, why MyHappyWorld decided the changeover necessary? None of my business, but curiosity strikes nonetheless.

I still need to reply to a few of my private roleplays. If you read this and happen to be waiting on my response, you are positively divine for putting up with me, and as soon as I can find the right words to write I'll send you my post.

I'm sad that Wolf_and_Bird is still gone. I just hope they're still interested in the story we were discussing before they vanished upon their return.

Those who stalk Lady Ava's activity might have noticed my RP with her, which I am quite enjoying because she is an awesome person and like to chatter out-of-thread. That RP actually includes my first-ever attempt at writing any form of incest, and apparently it's pretty amazing. Go figure I'd be a capable writer for smut and naught else, yeah?

I'm getting a little worried on some other RPs I'm in, though. Perhaps it's just my being paranoid, but I can't shake the niggling little tingle in my ponytail that says they're losing interest.

I recently encountered a most infuriating species. The first rule I list in my request thread is that I don't do roleplay over messengers, and this person messages me saying they wish to roleplay over messenger. I'm craving partners to indulge or be indulged by, but Fauzx, I'm not that desperate!

And here ends my first journal entry. I'll probably forget this even exists soonish and never use it again, but what the hell?

Dropped a couple of RPs I could no longer draw on the inspiration to perpetuate or, indeed, carry beyond the first few posts. I feel like shit for this, but sometimes I just take on projects not meant for me. No doubt I'm on some shitlists for that already.

Speaking of shitlists, mine has grown. Won't name anyone negatively here because I'm not that big a bitch, but I have courtesy enough to inform people when I lose interest, while this individual has been mighty busy elsewhere and I have heard fuck all from them. That bugs me, but oh well. Mark and move on, I suppose.

Someone's approached me asking for me to play a reverse harem for them, yay~! I actually quite like playing as multiple partners, unlike most guys; lets me keep my posts interesting with banter and interruptions. And DP/3P smut is something I love writing. I'm weird, yeah, but I also happen to love fulfilling people's naughty or innocent little fantasies if I can. So hah.

In other news, tomorrow I'll be gone for 'round about seven hours (11AM-6PM PST) because there's gonna be a party at my house and the last place I want to be is at this party, surrounded by idiots and screaming snot-nosed brats. So I'm going to my friend's house, yay!

I hate selective fucking inspiration. Really creative for RPs I'm waiting for replies in, can think of fuck all for the ones I'm holding up. I'm sorry if you're a victim of this problem of mine. T-T

Fun fact: I have no self esteem and apparently give people around me an inferiority complex. What.

I'm really, REALLY craving a certain pairing idea that NO ONE is interested in. I'm sad for this. D: <--See? Sadface.

A pre-emptive "Happy let's-make-fun-of-the-single-people-and-make-it-known-they're-unwanted day" for everyone. In case my bitterness isn't obvious, I hate this fucking holiday. It depresses me and makes me want to try suicide yet again, except by this point I know I'll just wake up an hour later with a serious headache. Feh.

But yes, I've been busy distracting myself from the near-constant chest pains by playing Final Fantasy these past few days, and seeing as nearly all of my active RPs involve romance to some degree or another, I am far from motivated to post at all right now. Sorry for those of you waiting on my sorry ass yet again, but I can't really help but feel depressed at being the one single person out of all my friends in spite, or perhaps because, of all my efforts to the contrary.

I'm sorry to hear that, it's never fun to be reminded how lonely you really are...sometimes even when you have a partener. Hopefully I will be able to post soon, my sleep schedual so slowly but surely getting back on track, and we can really get into things, and i hope it won't get too romantic for a while. I hope you feel better honey!!

In case anyone was curious as to where I've been the past... well, forever; In the hospital. Got into a car accident while I was moving out of my old gloomy apartment and was put into a coma. Full recovery, though, so I'll be getting back into things here if I can.

When the RP is just getting into the swing of things and I'm really starting to enjoy it and then... poof! Don't hear from them for days on end even though they've been around! Was my last post not good enough? Did I say something during our OOC natterings on that offended you? Am I just scary-looking? WHAT HAPPENED WHEN IT WAS GOING SO WELL

Makes me die a little inside knowing it'll take me weeks to find a partner who can keep me as interested. Used to be I was spoil'd for choice, then I disappeared and... well, I'm less lucky now.

EDIT: Well, shit. If I don't get anything tomorrow I may as well move on to greener pastures. It almost feels like someone's telling everyone I get in contact with to ignore me, the way nearly everyone starts talking to me and then abruptly vanishes.