Perception is Reality (ClearSight & SomethingEsoteric)

All Meghan really wanted in life is to feel complete and she knew the only way she’d ever felt complete in her life before was in the arms of someone who cared and someone who cared that she say there, someone who held her tight and whispered all those sweet nothings she was quick to believe. –of course, diluted versions of that reality could sustain her, could keep her just happy enough to proceed, just happy enough to keep that smile on her face – the stupid one – the fool’s one – the don’t know any better curl at the corners of her lips. More than that it kept her feeling much less alone whenever she was just that, Meghan sometimes wondered if other people felt like she did – she knew they did though, she knew she wasn’t the only person in the world who felt like they were the only person in the world when they got home, when they were in the washroom, hell… sometimes Meghan could feel completely alone in a crowded room, all because of a void of intimacy in her life. She knew it wasn’t healthy and she knew it ultimately was the cause of itself because she knew her efforts to cure it, putting her heart in the hands of someone who’d never nurture it just renewed that pain but like an addict she searched out the next dose of love that was going to make her okay.

Meghan was so desperate for warmth she’d take it from whoever was willing to give often, case and point being Jacquelyn, a married woman many years senior to herself, her boss and someone she knew to be a pedantic and selfish woman, the kind of woman if she weren’t so painfully desperate she’d have trouble giving the time of day! –not because Meghan was the sort of girl to meet rough attitudes with one of her own but rather, because Meghan was the sort of girl who let that brand of nervous interfere with what social skills she did have. With a patient she could call upon vocational skills to overcome her other short comings – in the real world however, if she were forced into dealing with Miranda she wasn’t sure she’d be able to do it with any real tact.

She’d grown a lot too though, there’d been a lot of people Meghan had-had to deal with in her years that were hard, a lot of people through the years, bosses, people who lived in her apartment, peers and directors in school – people that would have made her curl into herself and break down once upon a time, she was empowered enough to keep them from insult and injury in her chest but still she’d never overcome the need for intimacy.

So what was this?

Meghan winced when Miranda approached it with her thorn-pawed-lion arrogance, it was a defect of character she knew all too well and with that one she happened to find attractive in a shamefully endearing way, shameful was she for finding it endearing – and attractive, shameful because she knew it only hurt Miranda. Meghan frowned slightly, she was beginning to feel like every part of her morality was being tugged and torn. Not only was she being intimate with a patient but one who was emotionally shattered, one who was tip toeing around how desperate she was to leave this whole, to not be hurt by Meghan, from what she could tell, for it to be more than just… more than just Meghan getting her selfish cheap little thrill… Did Miranda want this to be more than just a little fling? –was that wrong? –or was it wrong for Meghan to continue moving forward with more than just glaring reservations on it… she didn’t intend for this to be any more than just… right? But Miranda was being so gentle and caring and “Hnnngh…” she moaned low into the woman’s lips as she turned her around and sat her on the desk, her body nearly convulsing she was trembling so softly, her breast coaxing into Miranda’s hand, her hips rolling slightly when she felt the other unbuttoning her jeans and removing the bundle of her blouse and vest tucked inside.

Another tell it was too late to turn back, an esoteric finality to her warning that made Meghan know Miranda was expecting more, was expecting so much from her she may not be able to give… she may not want to give. Meghan grimaced slightly but guilty or not she closed that door, she selfishly decided her wants and needs were more important than the potential of hurting Miranda and that was the choice that was too late to turn back now on.

Enter one of the single most sickening moments Meghan had felt in recent memory, a vulnerable woman, sickly and needy like herself, looking up into her eyes, pleading for something she wasn’t prepared to give… and she met those eyes with compliance and reciprocation and biting her lip and nodding like they were thinking all the same things… she didn’t say a word – but she lied with every part of herself before she allowed Miranda to turn her over and begin.

A mewl of want passed her lips, face turning on the desk, cheek pressing into the cold hard wood as Miranda’s hand slipped into her pants and glided over her simple soft cotton panties of baby-blue. It was only seconds and already the soft fabric was beginning to cling to her throbbing petals, each little teasing touch had her shifting slightly, moaning softly, Miranda was teasing her and it was working perfectly it seemed as her mewls turned to whines, Meghan’s body was moving more than Miranda’s fingers, her hips rolling and shifting against her, thighs tensing, back curling, it appeared the teases weren’t enough! –they weren’t they were maddening, making her all the more desperate, making her cringe, her eyes roll, her breath’s pace quicken with each passing moment, “Mirandaaa…” she warbled back when the compliment came, she didn’t want to beg but her body already was.

The lightest of thuds came from the desk as the hands she’d propped herself up with slipped from the desk, pinning one of Miranda’s arms beneath her as they reached back to her hips, one tugging at the right-most belt-loop of her jeans, the other bunching up the hems of her blouse and vest trying to pull each a different direction, remove them to move passed this initial stage if Miranda could grace her with that privilege.

Miranda needed something, her attraction to Meghan wasn't some fleeting feeling of lust, she didn't simply wish to crush another unfair doctor beneath her heel, she simply found herself drawn to Meghan, from the very start. She was jealous towards Jack, craving attention, and already looking for the connection she had been longing for for some time. Truly it was a step forward for Miranda, she was opening herself up and showing some of the vulnerability she could never bring herself to do show to anyone previously. It had been part of the reason she had built up so much stress, she never let anyone into who she was, to help her with work or simply get her through another day. She had coped with her inability to let others shoulder the burden by drinking, it had been her vice and while it had held back the flood gates for some time it eventually released into an outrage and she had hurt someone, it was why she was getting treatment and while she still didn't consciously admit it the current actions were an unconscious display she would never been able to realize or admit.

Honestly as much as it was her display of affection Miranda's sensitive and open advances were also a plea for help from the one person she felt could help her. She wanted Meghan to love her, help her with what she knew was keeping her from returning to a world she was on top of. When Miranda first arrived at the Institute she was a bit of a wreck, sure she had appeared as calm and collected as she was now but that hadn't lasted long. She was a highly functioning alcoholic but an alcoholic regardless and that meant she went through one hell of a withdrawal. For that duration she was left alone, one reason she hated Jack was that the woman had to have known, she would have received reports from the nurse and if she hadn't she would not had postponed appointments with the doctors. So basically she knew and didn't do anything to help, no drugs to stable her out, no weaning her or even simply making sure she suffered as little as possible, she just left her in that room to sweat it out and when it was finally over they went on like nothing ever happened. Sure part of Miranda had been appreciative, she hadn't wanted anyone to know, but it didn't give her confidence in Jack as a doctor, and subsequent actions had brought her to realize what kind of woman Jack was, a money grubbing witch.

That first experience had summed up a good deal of her experience at the Institute, she had been emotionally isolated, abused in the most subtle of ways by the doctors believing she was some crazy who had no chance of recovery. She had nobody who would bother coming to visit her, nobody to call, and absolutely nothing to do but sit in her room and rot, giving up on getting out and practically hiding from any forward movement. Meghan changed that, she was a blotch of color in an otherwise gray and dull existence, a beautiful flower brightening up a dreary world. It hadn't been obvious at first, she had assumed Meghan would be the same as the other doctors and she had become quite jaded to everything to do with her prison, but Meghan was nothing like the rest, she was perfect and it hadn't taken long for Miranda to find herself clinging to what was new in the tormenting place she was locked away in. She needed what she believed Meghan could offer, and there was nothing to stop her, Miranda personality wouldn't allow it, that was she was persistent, and while she would have let Meghan go if she had denied her it would have been a crushing blow.

So when Meghan agreed with every fiber of her being, nodding, her eyes and body all giving Miranda what she had been wanting for so long she didn't question. For once in her life Miranda took things as they were, she needed Meghan, she needed love, and so her usual questioning and mistrustful personality was suppressed and she simply smiled, a genuine happy curve of her lips that could define beautiful. She completely believed Meghan and found herself full of warmth and she took a long deep breath as she got a good look at Meghan from behind. A little mewl made Miranda bite her lower lip, fingers beginning to play at the beautiful woman she currently had pressed up against her own desk. If she hadn't been so wrapped up in her desires, both physical and emotional, she may have questioned everything, like whether Meghan truly liked her, if she was going to stop being with Jack, if she should have waited instead of going right for Meghan. But she wasn't able to do that and quickly delved in, swallowing hard as she realized how turned on Meghan was.

Those rolling hips were the first clue but a little warble and the move of Meghan to remove her clothes was enough to get Miranda to change pace from slow a teasing to what she knew Meghan wanted. Truthfully, while Miranda had experience, she wasn't in practice and she found herself a tad nervous, a rare thing for the woman. "Meghan... You're beautiful." She smiled, using all the strength she could to pull Meghan up from the desk and into her arms, kissing her neck again as she helped remove every piece of clothing and then whispering in Meghan's ear. "I think this is the first time I've been excited about using a couch in this damn place." She giggled as she turned Meghan around to look at her and gave her a quick peck on the lips before taking her hand and leading her over to the couch. Miranda didn't feel entirely confident when it came down to it so she wanted to make Meghan happy first and instead of undressing and joining Meghan in blissful nudity, she pushed the woman back onto the couch and bit her lower lip again, looking down at the woman she had managed to snag amid it all.

"How the hell is anybody supposed to ignore you... Smart, gorgeous, charming..." Humble was not how Miranda usually handled herself but in this moment she did, and it wasn't the first time in her life someone had managed to make Miranda stop focusing on herself for a moment. It was what life had done to her though, during most times she attempted to protect herself, by only taking care of her own needs and staying above everyone and everything else. With people she truly fell for it changed and only one other person had ever had her so enthralled, though with how she had been treated and living recently it wasn't hard for the young woman to let Meghan in. That was what she did and before Meghan had a chance to respond she had dropped to her knees, crawling up on Meghan and pushing her legs apart. She looked at the beautiful sight before her, leaning in and gently licking Meghan's inner thigh up to her petals but stopped, and then did the same to the other. When that was done she looked up with that devilishly sexy grin she had given Meghan during their first meeting before laughing gently, and then moving in, her tongue instantly going for the sensitive nub she knew Meghan wanted pleased, her hands wrapping around Meghan's legs so she could really get in there. Miranda wasn't messing around after her initial little tease, her tongue and mouth were going full force, suckling and lapping at the sensitive flesh, their flesh pressed together, warmth seeping in to one another, intimacy that Miranda desperately sought.

Meghan had never quite been on this side of the equation and maybe it was growth in a sickly sort of way. She was always the one putting herself out there, throwing her faith blindly into a woman who was sure to break her heart, telling the honest truth to the worst liars in hopes they might change for her, she was the one who got hurt, she was the one who got let down, she was the one who… she wasn’t the one who had little intention to give more than the moment, she didn’t have commitment issues – she had a number of issues with people who couldn’t commit to her. Maybe she was just sick and tired of being sick and tired of being let down, maybe she was just ready to settle for the much desired leg of all this that was the sex, maybe she just wasn’t seeing the forest for the trees, wasn’t seeing that Miranda was offering what she truly desired from the women that had ground her heart to dust time and time again, maybe looking for intimacy was just the way she hid the fact all she really wanted was sex… and then again, maybe none of that was true – maybe she was about to be the one who’s mind was changed against odds on a dimly lit hopeful effort.

Miranda had the capacity to be all the things she wanted in life and the ability to provide her with anything she’d never really needed but could certainly benefit from… at least, if she ever managed to pull her shit together and leave this place – Meghan was sure she would – just as sure as she’d be that Miranda would have nothing to do with her upon leaving if she ever put that much thought into the crippling fall that followed any real high she knew.

In the moment, she didn’t much think for a second that Jack was an option with any real longevity nor did she think Miranda was… so what was there for her here? A job. A job she was putting in jeopardy. A small huff, came as they adjusted for a kiss of those naturally beautiful lips and the smile that pulled upon them… and what a kiss it was, her lips pulled upon those beyond them, demanding room for her tongue to enter and again lap at its counterpart. Miranda had seemed to have wanted a quick peck after her teases but Meghan needed more than that and she was willing to demand it in her own way. The kisses on her neck that had preceded had left her huffing and whining, her hips swaying upon the desk and torso curling from side to side as her clothes were removed gingerly, Meghan couldn’t remember a time she’d been more aroused – even with Jacquelyn knuckle deep in her ass or biting her like the lush she was entirely capable of being with the right antagonizing or encouragement each.

A small squeak rattled insides as her out was thrust down to the leather slab that was the focal point of her work, whining at the cool surface before giving Miranda a rather endeared looking blush, one that mounted all the more when Miranda complimented her once again, her face falling, chin digging into her shoulder “Who said anyone ignored me?” She whispered with a hint of vulnerability that made it clear plenty people had – even if it was meant to be a witty retort, not that it mattered, she’d be witless in a second judging by the sharp gasp that left her when Miranda’s tongue dragged along her inner thigh fragrant both with cheap no-name brand green apple soap and the thick scent of her sopping sex, throbbing desperately at the near miss, the what could be collision that would put her on a course to climax.

Her arms gripped her torso tight, slightly modest breasts struggling to find space over or under the cage her arms created, bulging over the top of one wrist and under the other forearm. “Hnnngh!” She whined when finally Miranda’s lips and tongue assaulted her. “Ohmph, oaah…” Meghan started, her neck flopping from side to side, the sound of the couch cushions swelling and deflating with air and her hair rubbing along the back between the rest and her head barely audible over the unabashed song of Miranda sucking and lapping at her surprisingly sensitive sex. “ooah… Mir… mmm…” One of her arms pulled from her breast, the other curling forward to cover them both while it slinked down her body to find the back of Miranda’s head cupping it gently, rolling her hips with the same slow tenderness before her face, it appeared Miranda didn’t need to hold her legs in place – Meghan had no intention of sparing an inch between her desires and Miranda’s desire to sate them.