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Perception is Reality (ClearSight & SomethingEsoteric)

ClearSight

Supernova
Joined
Sep 20, 2013
Location
United States
Miranda Velrose, a name that had once held power and prestige had been brushed under the rug and hidden from the world. Miranda was a young woman, twenty-six, but she was well beyond her years mentally. She had been born into a family of low level French aristocrats, her family having old money and her useless parents living off the effort of past generations. It was pathetic really, embarrassing to Miranda even at a young age, but it allowed her to thrive. Miranda was by all account a genius, unrivaled by most minds and thus grew up believing that she was better than everyone around her, and for the most part that held true. She attended private schools and began college at sixteen after skipping several years of school, though she had a chance to go earlier she found college and the susceptible people too entertaining to skip. She went to a prestigious school in England where she attained a degree in business with a minor in criminal justice. Miranda was simply one of those people who had it easy, she could speak several languages and before the age of twenty-three she had started her own company. For Miranda it was easy and she let everyone know it, her arrogance and success bringing with it many enemies. However there seemed to be nothing she could not overcome, especially after the death of her parents when the entirety of the Velrose wealth transferred over to her already growing monetary assets.

That was the beginning of a change however, the beginning of people noticing that there had always been something off with Miranda. When her parents died she seemed to feel nothing despite no longer having the people who raised her in her life. Those tendencies could be seen when one looked, from ruthlessness to her everyday decisions and while nobody dared speak it those who knew her began to understand how little emotion she felt. She was not a sociopath, not psychotic or merely numb to everything around her, but Miranda cared so little for people other than herself that she found what happened to them to be of little consequence. Nobody knew that however, they didn’t know that she could be sad or depressed and her happiness often came at the misfortune of others where she triumphed. She didn’t let others see her entwined in pleasure, nor did she let them see her angry, it was always calm and collected where her superiority complex told her she should be. Yet stress did compile and as she continued to overwork herself to remain at the top she slowly began to crack, little by little, and there was nobody close enough to her to notice. So it continued, she struggle to keep up with her own demands, moving her company forward and crushing competitors, even surviving an attempt on her life, she had done everything she could to keep ahead, but it only made her fall from grace that much worse.

Miranda finally cracked when a large business deal fell through, one of her employees made yet another mistake in a string of fuck ups that cost Miranda millions. Before she knew what was going on she was being dragged off the man, his blood on her clothing and his face a mess and while she still had no memory of the event she had been told what happened over and over during the trial. She had suffered a mental break, her mind unable to keep up and take the stress and she had nearly killed a man for it. Yet it had not been on purpose and the ruling had stated the same, passing the verdict and institutionalizing her until the Kingsley Psychiatric Centre deemed her fit to resume normal life, where she wasn’t a danger to herself or others. It had been one of the most difficult things in Miranda’s life, and yet as hard as it was, and as scary as it should have been, she didn’t care. When Miranda snapped her deep seeded lack emotion had retreated ever further, she still have emotions, she still lusted and got angry, felt happy or sad, but it rarely came forward to the surface. Instead a smirk and a smart ass comment often took place of other more genuine feelings.

It wasn’t all bad however, the massive amount of monetary wealth allowed Miranda to live in style, the Kingsley Centre was like a resort for the insanely wealthy of the wealthy insane. The Centre had rooms fit for royalty and freedoms and facilities unheard of in any other institution, but then again that was all part of the plan, the plan to lull the residents into a false sense of trust and security and one Miranda wasn’t going to be falling for. In fact her time at the Centre proved just that, how little she gave a damn about the people of their trust. She had already effectively pissed off the woman in charge which got her booted from psychiatrist to psychiatrist as they each tried and failed to even put up with her. It was difficult though, Miranda seemed to have a knack for getting in to people’s head, turning conversation back around on them, blackmailing them, being more intelligent to say the least. For her it was easy and nobody had yet to last more than two sessions as her doctor, they all gave up without even really trying. The most disappointing part of it was that none of them had done anything but support her mindset, that she was the smartest person in the institution, doctors and staff included, and that she must not have any problems if they couldn’t do their jobs well enough to figure it out.

Before long the beautiful Miranda had made a game out of it, fucking with each new psychiatrist as they came along, exploiting them for fun and if they had even paid attention they would notice just how entertaining she found it, that she did in fact show quite genuine emotion. Yet that was no what happened, she simply intimidated them away, using everything in her arsenal to drive each one off and then prepare for the next in line. In fact that was what she was doing at that moment, laying back on her Queen sized bed in the rather large room she occupied and thinking about how she had rid herself of the last fool and wondering who the next piece of meat they would throw at her would be.

Miranda looked stunning as always of course, her sense of style changing to suit her environment, for the board room and function she would dress classy but being locked up, even if the place was luxurious in its own right, had her wearing more functional clothing. She was currently wearing nothing but a large white t-shirt and some lace black underwear, awaiting the nurses arrival with a smirk, loving to tease the woman who always came to take her to a new appointment, giving her a little show, despite the woman being quite straight, and making her wait every single time. Miranda’s beauty was a natural sort, fair skin and wavy black hair that well past her shoulders, a pair of beautiful sharp blue eyes, and a smile that could be both breath taking and devious. She stood a rather tall 5’8” and was blessed with long legs and an incredible ass with two perky breasts above, the perfect handful and fit for her feminine frame. It was easy to see why people were captivated by her, the charm of intellect and beauty mixed a hard cocktail to ignore, and one she planned on using to destroy yet another mind that attempted to understand her. It really was amusing in many ways, one that people believed the Kingsley Centre was anything but a day spa with mandatory sentences, or that no matter how many people they threw her way she sent them all running for the hills.
 
Meghan Ollerenshaw, a name that meant nothing to all but very few people and those very few people were very much inconsequential to the shape of the world outside of the less than glamorous egg farming economy of rural New York and Essex Ontario. “Well, I’m confident you’ll do great Meg – you’ve worked so hard for this.” Came a voice from the phone she’d grown to cherish every note of more and more with each passing year into her adulthood. Meghan stopped and looked across the office to the set and speaker Emily’s voice came from and smiled softly, it was true, she had worked very hard for this and Emily had never been one to lie to her just for the sake of her feelings – after all – if she was, she’d probably still be in an apartment with no heat in the wrong side of town waiting for Parker, Emily’s daughter, to come home where Meghan thought she belonged… hell, if not for Emily and Stan chances were Meghan would still be settling for temp work wherever she could get it and just barely paying the bills.

“Thank you Emily, I’m still nervous but… well, I think it would probably say the wrong things about me if I wasn’t. –right?” Meghan said with her little downtrodden smile and soft sweet country diction. Meghan was one of those people who walked through life with shit on their face but still smiled, one of those people you could kick around but never quite break, Meghan had-had her fill of things to frown about, had just as much reason as many the more destitute to give up, crawl into a corner and cry till she drown in the tears, she had all the excuses not to try hard to be better – and yet – she’d come this far, she’d come from Essex Ontario living in an old country home with an alcoholic womanizing father and a selectively blind emotionally absent mother, a girlfriend who convinced her to run away to the city to be stars then decided she’d much prefer a needle in her arm and a short list of less than lovely examples to follow… all this and more – and still, while her eyes spoke of sadness and lethargy within her lips always found themselves curled into the softest, most graceful of smiles.

“Well, you wouldn’t be you if you weren’t – and I’d say you’ve become a-“

“Emily, not today, you’re going to get me all misty before I see her!” Meghan whined as she placed herself at the book case behind her desk where a small indiscrete but unassuming camera was sitting dormant. She wasn’t trying to hide that she was recording the session for her case but she also knew if a camera was the elephant in the room someone could be inclined to put on a show for it. She knew what the woman intended to say though, Meghan had come a far way in the last six years, she’d gone from a lonely little girl run from a broken home with no real aspiration beyond a severe desire to be whole to sitting behind a mahogany desk in a prestigious institution with a university education, a humble but happily furnished apartment and while she would have been buried in student debt otherwise there was a college fund with a daughter who’d not use it any time soon that she’d been given… really, she’d been given everything she’d never been offered as a daughter in place of a daughter who wanted nothing from the parents she could never accept. It was almost maddening to think about sometimes even still, she’d spent so many nights wishing to have parents like Parker’s who loved her so dearly compared to her own who were toxic as battery acid and yet Parker hated them, Parker could never accept love – could never accept happiness, always took the rough road of self-destruction rather than the warming nurture offered by all those around… maybe that’s why Meghan had taken this, her own road, so she could stop wishing she could help her first true love and learn how. –Emily and Stan had been there to facilitate it.

Now even though Emily and Stan paid her way in full she didn’t abuse that kindness, she came to their farm and helped as much as she could when school wasn’t so terribly demanding and she promised she’d repay them as soon as she was able, she took the money they gave her for clothing and mostly found thrift store gems or designer liquidations, a lot of her clothes were the sort that looked designer but became unraveled, lost buttons or colour due to a lack of true quality. They only looked proper, they were the illusion of lavish and fit for a budget – she ate ramen and kraft dinner, drank instant coffee and used whatever shampoos or washes were on sale, she scrimped and saved every penny she could, every last red-cent going in a jar that would go back to Emily and Stan with the rest of what she owed them or compensate for an emergency should one arise – they already did so much she never wanted to have to ask for more. Such jars used to belong to Parker in the odd days she came home between her disappearing acts, broken and battered and in need of Meghan to play nurse to her junkie, then, when her wounds were licked and her gumption returned she’d steal what wasn’t nailed down and go back for another shot at the perfect high.

Meghan couldn’t remember how long exactly it had been since her last eviction due to Parker’s life style, couldn’t remember the last night she’d spent in a shelter or received a meal from a food bank – but she did remember having to live that sort of life without ever actually using a drug herself. –while it could have bred resent in her – the angel she was, it only bred humility and gratitude for where she stood now.

In a cardigan and sheer top that didn’t much compliment her low C cup breasts or the olive skin above, the cardigan was a soothing grey thick knit, the sheer white, her long legs and proud rump were however complimented by a pair of dark designer in appearance jeans and her feet in a pair of moccasins the appeared more for comfort than anything. On her left wrist she sported a silver charm bracelet with only three charms, one of a chick, one of a maple leaf and one of a heart with a small peridot, while it looked to be like the start of a charm bracelet as if it may be new it was beginning to form a tarnish that only came from many years of wear, much like a small simple sterling chain around her neck with a simple cross, the chain thin enough it looked as though it may have been meant for a child, standing to reason there may have been an extension behind her neck, two small silver pegs with the tiniest of authentic diamonds in her ears, a second set of silver pegs with no finery just above on her lobe and on the left side a ring in her rook and short bar in her anti-tragus. Meghan’s long chocolate strands flowed perfectly straight from her crown, spilling around her shoulders and down passed her shoulder blades – though as she found a chair beside the leather slab of a couch meant for patients she pulled it back and let it flow over and down one side of her shoulder.

Miranda Velrose would arrive soon and while Meghan wasn’t prepared, at least she didn’t think so – she knew she at least had to seem that way.
 
As usual several small knocks signaled the arrival of Miranda's escort, the nurse whose job it was to ensure she went to her appointments at the specified times. There was no waiting, just a knock, and then the woman walked into the room, and as usual she had a dissatisfied look on her face. Miranda had been lectured before about how to behave properly, that she knew what time the woman entered the room and yet she was also undressed and not ready to go, but to Miranda it was a game, one of many she played to keep herself entertained while locked away. Of course it didn't help that the nurse was a closet lesbian, the slight blush and lingering eyes always giving it away. In fact Miranda had half a mind to do more than merely lay in panties when she entered the room, but then again she wouldn't have much fun with the nurse, she wasn't that attractive and her personality was boring. So she simply played the same game as always, a rather mischievous smile and a quick, "Just one moment." Before getting out of bed and sauntering over to grab the jeans she had sitting on the opposite side of the room, showing exactly what she had to brag about before getting to the clothes and slipping them over her gorgeous legs.

After she finished getting dressed she went to the door and walked by the nurse, a little smile on her face as she passed by and started down the hallways to the new doctor's room. It was intriguing that the new person was so close to the head doctor's room because Miranda had been working on a theory about why people were moved in and out of that office so frequently, her theory being that whoever occupied that office was being fucked by the older woman. The head doc wasn't bad looking but she was middle aged and married, using her position and rather strong personality to find her way into many of her workers pants. On one hand it was admirable, she had game to get so many decent looking women, and the occasional man as well, but really it was nothing terribly impressive, not with how well she could manipulate people and her position helped her quite a bit as well. Of course her usual choice was another reason Miranda didn't find it all that impressive, she could bed a good deal of staff but she had yet to find herself someone Miranda was envious of, and she had seen almost off of them professionally seeing as she was a prize of sorts tossed on to the next person after she broke the last.

Miranda chuckled slightly to herself, not giving a damn how crazy she appeared to people who had already cast their judgements, as she thought about how she had fucked with the last doctor. It hadn't been difficult, the last one was a woman with quite a few stress issues and Miranda had simply piled on stressful situation after stressful situation until the woman self-prescribed herself some anti-anxiety meds, a big no-no for anyone able to write prescriptions. Someone found out, due to a nice little anonymous tip, and she had been dismissed from the Centre quite quickly. The Centre had a very low tolerance for anything of the sort, not only due to the nature of the patients but because of the clientele they catered towards, the wealthy and discrete. They wouldn't want any scandal or misuse of power to be spread outside the walls. It made it the perfect place for someone like Miranda really, when she fucked with them she could get away with it, her money and status were still extreme and if something happened the Centre would lose business and reputation even if it was her fault. So she used that to her advantage, doing what she wanted and when she wanted, because with the amount of money it cost to stay in the facility for a year they could hire her many a doctor to see to her needs.

So when she arrived at the newest office she was only concerned with one thing, how much fun she could have with the new doctor. So she opened the door and walked inside, her usual confidence oozing off of her and the natural charisma that seemed to shine off her was just as present as always. Yet her facial expression wasn't normal, there was no smirk or boredom present, in fact there was a bit of surprise at first. Sitting there was a doctor more beautiful than any she had been assigned to before, she was drop dead gorgeous, and while the surprise stayed for a moment the smirk came soon after. "This is going to be fun..." She muttered, biting her lower lip as she circled the woman and plopped down on the couch across from her, leaning back and just taking the sight in, not even trying to hide it. She shook her head in disbelief, the old lady had managed to snag herself an enviable piece of ass and that made whatever games she had in mind fly out the window for some incredibly more interesting prospects. "You must be the new doctor, I'm very glad to meet you." A bright smile shone on her face as she gave a very polite and rather generic greeting, deciding that for the moment she wanted to hold back, just see what the woman would do and then figure out how best to have her fun.

From first glances Miranda was definitely attracted to the woman but there was something about her that was interesting aside from the beauty, something Miranda couldn't put her finger on right away, and as usual she wanted to know as soon as possible. It had always been that way her entire life, Miranda was the young CEO of her own company and she succeeded in part due to her quick decisions and exploitation of any weakness in whatever obstacle she came upon. Perhaps it was missing the competition and daily challenges that came upon her in the real world, perhaps simply because being locked up in any place, even such a nice place, was lonesome, or any other number of reasons, but Miranda needed to have fun and for her that seemed to be solely attained at the expense of others in the Centre. She had other interests, she was an amazing tennis player and there were a few other little things she had done as hobbies, but nothing compared to her old life and without any of the few friends she had made, if they had ever really been friends at all, it was quite boring. In fact Miranda had probably been lonely for a long time, it was just after being cooped up with her thoughts so long that it started to come to the surface.

"My name is Miranda Velrose, I'm sure you are aware of that already but I believe it only proper to introduce oneself officially when one firsts meets." She gave another little smile, the pause between her first greeting and the introduction, as well as the tone she used, implied that she believed the doctor should have introduced herself quicker, though truthfully she hadn't given much time and she cared little for proper introductions and etiquette, she just wanted to get reaction out of the woman in a way that seemed remotely normal or unlike her usual approach. With that said she smiled again, almost sweetly but with a hint of what could only be considered devilish, an undertone that made one know to be careful. Of course Miranda had no doubts that this young beauty was aware of who she was and what she had done to her predecessors, and she wouldn't be changing, but for the moment she wanted to feel it out and just see what kind of person was next in line to try and tell her what her issues were, to see if this would would agree that she was unstable and deserved to be there as well.
 
“Oop, Emily, I think they’re trying to send me a page. –she must be on her way.”

“Alright darling – you’re going to do great okay? –You worked super hard for this and you totally earned it.”

Those words hit her harder than any slap to the face could when she actually listened for them. She worked so hard for this… did she though? Sure – her grades were more than average, she wasn’t in the top percentile, a few shy, but her GPA was close to immaculate, she had perfect attendance and punctuality in class and in her assignments, she participated in extracurricular activities, she dedicated time to the collegiate newspaper, she was on the Tennis team though spent most games on the bench – just good enough to make the team not quite so much so to be near a star player… much like her grades, always just a little short of something truly extraordinary. Really, the only thing Meghan had going for her that was implicitly extraordinary was her natural beauty – and it was crippling to think, to flirt at, to debate was it all supernatural, an unfortunate coincidence or had Jacquelyn Lipinski, the head doctor of this establishment… had she hired her based upon her looks and her papered sexuality alone?

Did she work hard for this position, or did Jacquelyn just hire her and plant her wherever she fit because she knew she would bend over and take those slender freckled fingers for a chance at finally going somewhere beyond a government building to cash or repay another set of student loans. Jacquelyn had played her like the fucking fool she was, she knew just where she was because she’d been there once upon a time the woman had been there too she appealed, and she was so very interested in the autobiographical blog she’d wrote and other articles that made her sexuality known and her pride, other opinions. Oh what a bright future she had in the institution and if anyone was capable of writing a paper on Miranda Velrose she was willing to bet it would be a fresh set of eyes like herself and… and oh how hard had she worked to have Jacquelyn Lipinski lean over her shoulder and smell the green apple leave in conditioner she’d bought last week, to place her hands on her shoulders and knead them like an old lover – one she’d never met.

… she didn’t black it out though, she didn’t cry or feel used, call it what you wanted – she brought a bottle of wine the next time they met, Jack told her she didn’t drink wine but appreciated the sentiment, Meghan rarely drank at all.

“Meg? Meggy? Are you there?” A voice blurted over the deafening silence she’d induced, “Stan! –Stan I think the phone is on the fritz again!”

“Oh- yes, hi, hello. Sorry, I… mmmff-heh, got a little distracted.” She admitted as she heard the first knock, “Emily, I’m going to have to let you go – Love you!” her hand batting behind her for the hang-up, jostling a picture frame beside her of herself and another girl holding each other close, maybe friends, probably lovers – though while Meghan looked much the same the girl beside her looked like she had no business there, deathly thin with bruised eyes and thinning and fried bleach blonde hair, red rings around her nostrils – clearly an addict, probably a picture best left turned from prying eyes but her naivety didn’t compensate for such things.

Her eyes soared from the desk to the woman now inside, trying to put on her most professional face and posture and while it was one just that some of her natural meekness did discount it for what it was. There always was a certain sort of woman who could leave Meghan dead in her tracks and one was across the room, finally all the studies and case files she’d leafed through given corporeal form… and she truly was radiant as they said, frightfully so, hauntingly so, to think this woman was her age and millions, tens of millions of dollars ahead, prestige and principal she could never hope to understand or reach herself, she’d not only earned her success but lived it, nurtured it, was pressed upon by it to the point of snapping… and here she was. Her eye brows knit slightly as she picked up on the words she’d but whispered, fun… Meghan knew her history of blowing through her doctors, knew of her history of violence, knew most diagnosed her sociopathic and deranged – though Meghan didn’t agree with that particular diagnosis.

In her mind, no sociopath could go as far as Miranda had in the business world, that took love and passion just as much as her crime had, another thing, she believed her crime to be one of passion – not a random act of violence for catharsis, not a pressure release valve.

As Miranda walked about her Meghan cringed into herself slightly, “Please, do sit.” She said in her best projected confidence though a hesitation betrayed the tone. A small tint of rose found her olive skin when the woman introduced herself and in such fashion no less, Meghan wasn’t the slightest annoyed or piqued by it – it seemed she’d been talked down to quite a bit in her short life by how she accepted it and bowed her head apologetically “Yes, right, ahm – my name is Meghan Ollerenshaw,” she didn’t say doctor, a clear sign if not by her age she was still new to the title if she’d earned it at all, “Ahm, I feel that with any relationship it is always best to make clear one’s motives from the very start, be the relationship intimate or professional so…” she shrugged a little and smiled before heaving a sigh, never looking her in the face as she went on, always just beyond her, through her, before finding her note pad but just the same never scrawling anything upon it. “Of course I’ll be taking the role of your primary caregiver and psychologist, I intend to film our sessions and with your permission draft an article on my findings. I’m here to help you, you’re not a study for my sake, first and most important comes your recovery and returning you to your life outside of these walls.” The long drone found a more upbeat rise toward the end like she was wrapping it all up in a pretty bow – but she had started with the selfish side of her motives as to not make them appear hidden. “Soo… hmm, why don’t you tell me what you hope to get out of our sessions?” And finally, with that, did her hazel eyes find those across from her with a passive reception of that devilish grin, practiced, sterile, clinical gaze – the one each and every doctor before Meghan probably gave Miranda.
 
Admittedly most of the people Miranda had been assigned to were different when compared to the woman sitting in front of her, they had given off an air of solid confidence as if they believed they were the smarter person in the room, that was always the first thing she noticed. With the lovely new set of legs it was different, there was almost a slight lack of confidence and she obviously knew she wasn't the smartest one in the room, a nice change for someone like Miranda, someone who knew they were always the smartest in the room because it was true, not only due to her ego. Of course there were plenty of other characteristics she honed in on, age, whether she recognized the names, and even the room in general, what was around it and how they carried themselves. On all counts her new doctor was different, almost as if she hadn't been hired for her skills at all. That could have been untrue, Miranda was not privy to the hiring policy at the Centre but she had noticed a trend of stuffy people from top schools around the world, people who thought they were higher society, believed they were above others, and thought that paying for an overpriced education made them more intelligent.

Miranda hated those types of people so with Meghan she found herself not only refreshed but intrigued. The woman sitting in the room with her came off as none of those things, she seemed innocent almost and rather up front about her intentions, not to mention she had an air of honesty and modesty, both hard to come by with the pretentious fucks usually assigned to her. Of course she was also young which gave her a fresh approach, she didn't act like she had it all figured out and it made Miranda all the more eager to delve deeper into who she was and how much fun she could have with the young blood. Then there was the lack of reputation, Miranda made sure to read the psychological magazines, her perfect recall allowing her to read it once and use it to know her doctors before she even met them, Meghan was different, a mystery which would be more fun than anything thus far. All of that was wrapped up neatly in one beautiful woman and that was probably the main factor in her getting the job, maybe even being assigned to Miranda, and while it was a tad insulting, to herself and Meghan, it was also something she didn't much mind as she sat there and observed her latest prey.

In fact she was incredibly relaxed, as refreshing as it all was she also found so many options for exploitation that it was harder to decide which one would be the most fun to go after. One had to be what she said aloud, about it being best to make one's motives clear from the start be it professional or intimate, it brought a smirk to her face and she quipped back rather quickly, though she didn't attack harshly or push the subject. "First time meeting and you already mention an intimate relationship... Not very shy are you?" She didn't give her time to response but instead just tilted her head slightly and continued speaking. "As for what I'm wanting from this, well I'm not entirely sure. Perhaps to make you realize that I'm not the person your coworkers accuse me of being. Heh, maybe just to destroy you like I've done them..." She leaned forward, all airs of her being a push over gone, and she was now displaying that near scary confidence and power that had caused many a competitors quiver in her business days and one that did just as well against Psychologists and civilians alike.

"As far as your desires, well I don't care about being recorded assuming that it is completely confidential, which it will be if you do as you're supposed to and keep it between us... And I mean between us, no running it over to Jacquelyn, all to yourself. As far as the paper goes, I'll give you permission only after I've read it, and if I think you've been dishonest I'll deny you the publishing rights and trust me, nothing you write will go over my head, nothing ever does." It was like a negotiation but one where she knew she had all the cards, at least for that particular arrangement. Not only that but she had slipped in the boss' name, used it to hint that she knew without it being obvious at all, as if only saying it to make Meghan react if she had something going on or if she was already paranoid. Regardless that hadn't been a big deal, it was just something she casually slid in, something she didn't give a damn about as of yet because she would figure it out before too long. What did interest her was a picture Meghan had adjusted when she entered the room, one she would get a peak at before she left the room. She also took note of the addition of primary caregiver, which meant she had taken over the duty of the orderly that usually did whatever she needed done. It seemed she truly did want to get to know her for writing a study, not only in session but in other aspects, which was yet something else new. None of the other doctors had attempted to do that, they took the time for appointments and then it was over, nothing until the next session, an environment they believed they could control but one where really Miranda controlled more than them.

"Also, how about you figure out what it is I need to recover from and let me know before speaking about helping me recover, I've yet to be convinced there is anything wrong, and guess what they call that yet another problem. So figure that out and then let me know." She gave a devilish grin once more as she leaned back, her air of elegance still present, her voice had been calm and casual the entire time, and she didn't seem the least bit worried or flustered. "Now, I am looking forward to seeing how you do things, to see why you were the next one to be assigned to me, and what you think you will be able to do. So feel free to ask me anything and everything and I will give you an honest answer." And she would, Miranda was an honest person, blunt at times but honest and while there would be ulterior motive behind everything she did and said, especially when Meghan was so attractive and Miranda had already decided she wanted her. So she crossed her legs and gave Meghan a smile, almost taunting her, asking for her best shot with one look, though at the same time her eyes repeated a previous action and admired what was in front of her, watching for the opportunity to flip the situation and grasp enough power to really keep herself entertained.
 
Her opinions were less than conventional, she was of a different mindset than most her dusty colleagues and it was on that right she had trouble swallowing how competitive her patient seemed toward her after the initial tease. Meghan hadn’t come into this with premeditated notions and she reserved her opinions, she always reserved her opinions for when she’d been given more to base them upon. A sociopath? No – at least, Meghan didn’t think so and she was far from such a severe diagnosis, many of her colleagues believed after their initial thoughts that Miranda belonged in a facility for the criminally insane, Meghan didn’t believe that either, many of them thought Miranda was a ticking time bomb and it was only a matter of time before her violent lunacy took the reins and surely it would again. She supposed it was silly for her to think that Miranda would know she was on her side from the start with so many doctors coming before her that treated her that way, treated her like she was deranged – not sick and well… for all Meghan knew, she wasn’t sick – just had a bad go of things and was lashing out now because nobody could sympathise. –or maybe she was just as naïve as the eyes on her believed.

Meghan’s nose wrinkled slightly, her head and shoulders urging back a little like the tease had been a swat rather than words. “Wh-well relationship doesn’t necessarily me-“ but Miranda had already started speaking. “I was providing an example Miranda.” She added for posterity.

Miranda either discounts words linked to intimacy by confining them to a more sexual nature or attempts to antagonize others by suggesting Freudian slips or omissions by syntax that may or may not be genuine. –take care in choice of words? –possible abandonment issues. Absent parents?

She took a deep shaky breath to clear her head before tilting it slightly, her lips pursing to a more pensive expression, “Well, if you just intend to convince me you’re not the person my coworkers feel you are…” Meghan sighed and weaved her brows, “Well, I don’t think you’re criminally insane or a sociopath and I don’t think a relapse into violence is a certainty for you. –I do however feel the fact your coping mechanism for what was a very unfortunate set of circumstances was poor and that is something I feel we should work on together Miranda. Even if I don’t give you a diagnosis I would like to be able to provide you with some tools to better approach real life when you’re discharged…” she huffed through her nose and looked away, “I’d appreciate if you didn’t destroy me first.” Maybe a little endearment tossed back but there was nothing antagonizing or doubtful about her voice – almost like she might be looking for an extension of courtesy.

At the mention of Jacquelyn she grimaced slightly, her heart giving a single thud and her stomach tightening slightly… especially in the same sentence as desires. What she had said was true though, there was no dishonest intentions on the rise, Meghan wasn’t even sure if there was any one word that could be given to what was wrong with Miranda, in fact, part of Meghan begged the question if she was just a very intelligent woman with a host of character defects that otherwise would be perfectly copacetic if not for a high stress situation – many people in the world made bad choices that didn’t make them bad or sick or criminal or anything… just meant they made a bad choice. It was this feeling that kept Meghan from that shining gold star grade she’d wanted, the impression not everyone needed a name to get better, that some people just needed to work on a flaw of character or a bad behavior and that might could be enough. “You’re very intelligent, I highly doubt I would be able to put anything passed you even if I wanted to Miranda.” She affirmed, “-and of course, the filming will remain confidential and for my eyes only – purely for the purpose of my notes and anything I may have missed during a session. You have a career to go back to and a life beyond these walls and I would not want to jeopardize that in any way.” The words were becoming more and more surreal as they left her lips, Miranda was her first patient in the real world, outside of placements and workplace training – this was real and keeping up the close-to-textbook diction felt strange without someone over her shoulder ensuring she was.

Miranda finally finished speaking with her predisposed notions and bias – much like the doctors must have done to her and Meghan took a moment to respond. It was a fair point and one that was admittedly rather close to her own thinking in ways. She didn’t know how to help her entirely if she didn’t entirely know what was wrong with her if anything. Everybody needed help every once in a while… Meghan hummed and lifted her pad –

Miranda is a prodigy without a mentor to the best of my knowledge. She’s has never needed help with anything in her life it is no surprise she doesn’t intend to accept any though from what I understand she was provided all she needed, help was freely given already. She seems to believe because she’s gotten this far in life on her own she can persist that way – Miranda doesn’t seem to accept the gravity of her current location and the situation she’s put herself in, Meghan tapped her pen on the pad of paper several times before looking up to her “Most of my colleagues believe this has become a game for you, living here and antagonizing the staff and patients. –I know you’re a magnificently capable woman, do you want to leave?” she continued tapping the pen on the pad like the answer would decide what next she wrote, just waiting.
 
Miranda's grin had changed to a more curious expression as Meghan began to speak, once again proving she was quite different from the previous people sent to try and figure her out. Miranda had come to dislike psychologists during her stay at the Centre, they had proven to be a group of people who were looking for problems, people who wanted nothing more than to declare that she had this problem or that. It was humorous really, with each one of them they spouted off what was wrong with her and yet she could just as easily notice flaws in their character. Yet she wasn't allowed to do that, they got angry or redirected back to her, and all that while they got to walk around free, nobody made them go work out their problems and chances are they had outbursts as well. Not that Miranda would admit to any problems, she believed her 'flaws' were more personality traits than anything, parts of her that people disliked so they made them seem bad enough to require change. That was how people were though, anyone smarter or more successful than themselves was instantly an enemy, someone who needed to be out of the way and locked up. She wasn't sure if Meghan would be of that opinion but she doubted it, the woman didn't seem like the type to be intimidated by intelligence, though she could have been wrong.

Miranda thought back on the first doctor that had been assigned to her upon arriving at the Centre, a younger man, sure of himself and sure of who Miranda was from the start. He had been intimidated by her, not because of what she had done to be sentenced but because of how easily she dismissed his education and field of study. Her intelligence had been his downfall, Miranda using it to make him feel small and insignificant, correct any mistake he made in grammar or word choice, giving him questions inside his field that only the most experienced of doctors would have been able to answer. He had been easy. That was when the game first came to Miranda, how fun it was to destroy the person trying to break her down and expose whatever they believed to be hiding behind her outermost shell. Ever since then she had played around with each doctor that came her way, pitting her wit against theirs and having always come out on top. She didn't think anything would change with Meghan, but of all the doctors she had come face to face with she was most cautious with the one who seemed different, studying each movement and word, eyes unwavering as they watched the gorgeous woman with fiery intrigue, like she could see everything going on in that pretty little head.

The compliment to her intelligence swelled Miranda's ego, a fact was a fact but when it came to being complimented Miranda was always in a good mood, she liked it and that was especially true when it was genuine, when the person meant it. However the writing on the pad of things she could not see had always bothered Miranda, she knew what it was for, knew the type of information written, but she could never get herself to stop thinking about just what the doctor truly thought. However that was not what concerned her most, the question posed was. Did she want to leave? That was a question nobody had directly asked her before, some people insinuated she wanted to stay but generally her demeanor and their beliefs in what she was plagued by made that question remain a thought for the other doctors. So it caught Miranda a bit off guard, had her raise an eyebrow as she let her mind fight itself over an answer. Miranda had no asked to be put into the Centre, not asked to have her freedom forcefully stripped away, but there was a certain comfort that came with the new style of life. She didn't have to worry about business deals and board meetings, no reports or contracts to deal with, no waking up at 5 am after going to sleep only hours earlier. There was time to do what she wanted, to simply lay around in bed, and not have to worry about what the newspapers would say or how it felt to always be alone in that huge house she had bought.

Miranda stopped herself, she didn't want to think about her old life, there was no real pleasant feeling to be derived from it, in fact the only thing she missed was the competition, having some way to entertain herself. There were other things she missed however, things that didn't necessarily involve her own life but the lost freedom. One such things was sex. Miranda hadn't been laid since she arrived at the Centre, she had her chances, especially with her assigned nurse being interested in her own way, not to mention the one or two doctors she knew wouldn't have been able to resist, but she had never acted on it. Perhaps she was looking for someone specific, perhaps she didn't want to get close to anyone, but it was probably just that she found each of them repulsive in some way, even if it was simply how they thought of her. She was use to being seen impartially or even for the successes she had managed, it turned her stomach when someone looked at her and so obviously thought she was crazy or violent, even if they were attracted to her. It made her lose all respect and thus none of them had ever been serious possibilities.

Miranda knew she had to answer the question, knew she needed to stop pondering and make sure she didn't seem to avoid the quandary. "First of all this is a game. Do you think I should take this seriously? If you know who I am you should realize what I've done, the challenges I've overcome, compared to my life before this place is a joke. They put me here, tell me I'm crazy, hah." Miranda took a deep breath and then shrugged, "But guess what, regardless of the fact that I know more about your field then most of those who call themselves doctors and despite my accomplishments I'm not the one who gets to decide anything, I'm trapped here under the guise of mental illness." She looked into Meghan's eyes for a moment and then smiled, "But you, you're aware of all that I think, and from what you've said you don't believe what they have said about me, decided more so, is correct. That should mean that I don't belong here, unless of course you do agree my mental health is in question?" She didn't really expect an answer, in her mind no matter what people told her she could find a more reasonable explanation and explain it better than they could hope to, and it was obvious in her tone that she found others observations and decisions about her to be inferior, though part of her was just as scared that there was something wrong with her as anything else.

"But that wasn't a question, the question was whether I want to leave..." She paused, not to think but to feel out Meghan and then she leaned forward, her beautiful face serious as she pushed a lock of wavy hair from her face. "This place allows me no freedom, I will admit there is a certain desirable lack of responsibility here, it can even be fun putting arrogant fools in their place, but why would I want to stay? Outside of this damn place is a life for me where I can have anything I desire... Anything. A nicer home, entertainment, sex..." 'Sex' it was emphasized more than any other word and the look on her face was meant to tease Meghan, to put an image in her head. "So how about you tell me, do I want to leave? I think the answer is quite obvious Meg my dear..." With that she gave a small little smirk, confidence oozing but truly only to bring attention from her lack of a real answer, the fact that she never actually said she wanted to leave. Miranda was quite self-aware, and she knew that her response, while exactly what was on her mind, was not one to be confident about. Yet she refused to show weakness, she would do whatever she could to hide her vulnerabilities.
 
Responds well to compliments, no lack of con she crossed out the word she’d begun and edited, no lack of confidence externally. Possible defense mechanism. she tilted her head slightly and returned to listening with a thoughtful expression of acceptance even if the words she did receive may not have been so acceptable – or at least, she may have trouble accepting them. She was just so combative in her approach, she had to be compensating in some way – more a hunch than anything… and to be honest, her expression was in fact, she almost felt sorry for her. Meghan felt sorry for the woman who’s life had become a game, who’s self-earned bondage had become a game – to her it wasn’t a woman making the best of a bad situation it was a woman so strong and accomplished giving up in the face of one, showing everyone how strong she was by hurting herself… she was just like Parker.

Often starts statements with “first of all” or other phrases that would suggest she is explaining herself. I’m not sure if the patient feels like she is a suspect or if she does this because she feels everybody needs to be explained things to due to a strong ego or sense of confidence and pride as a defect of character. –Miranda doesn’t seem to appreciate or feel remorse for what she did to the man she attacked, it appears she doesn’t understand that above all else is why she is here and her behavior is why she remains here. Possible delusions of grandeur or paranoia? –inflated sense of importance.

At the end of all of her first string of reasoning, the avoidance, she answered very simply to the last sentence, the question to her question of whether or not Meghan questioned her mental state – she was compelled to answer simple and honest “I do.” Two words, in response to a grand total of one hundred and forty two, Patient is using avoidance to cover what might be a hard truth that she does not want to leave or could be comfortable here? She hasn’t been here so long I would assume institutionalization. –maybe not a game but a pseudo vacation? –an escape? Meghan shifted in her seat a might before raising a hand to her face to cradle her chin before returning to a state of receiving, it seemed she might just get an answer… or maybe more questions to her own.

She was pacified, or maybe disarmed by the advance of the woman, she backed up slightly and lowered her hands – the pad lying flat in her lap for a brief moment before she inched slightly, unconsciously, toward the picture on her desk at the word of sex or maybe toward her desk in general and not the representations on it or the dirty secrets in the bottom drawer but rather the dirty secrets that had taken place atop it. She’s attempting to seduce me I believe… a few scribbles of nothing intelligible just to save her time and gain a soft pad of posterity to float atop, why else would she say sex that way? she nibbled at her lip and once again did she blush ever so softly, The patient… the patient… the patient… the patient…

Her brows knit and she straightened slightly, “Ahm… well Miranda. That was… a lot to take in. Heh, okay. First off,” she echoed back endearingly, or, intended to be endearing – far from destroyed, “The doctors here couldn’t refer to themselves as doctors without their degrees, I assure you we are all in fact who and what our credentials assume.” She was almost proud of herself for how professionally she managed to word that, a small win shown by a smile, “Second, I feel you should take this very seriously, it is a serious situation, at this time I don’t feel it would be conducive to remind you of the circumstances that brought you here but how we can move forward from them is important. I believe everybody deserves every chance they have the desire to ask for but you’re not asking for a second chance and even if you’re not clinically sick you did a bad thing.” She paused and raised her hand, splaying her fingers and nodding her head forward “that doesn’t make you a bad person or even a sick one.”

She took a breath “You wouldn’t hire someone to your company just because they told you they should have a job. You telling me they’re all wrong isn’t enough to make me feel you’re right and it certainly isn’t enough to make me sign a notice of discharge.

“-and I’m not sure if you want to leave. You seem very comfortable, you seem entertained, the accommodations are very nice, and if you think it may help you as your primary care giver and doctor I could arrange for a visit from a partner you may have though, sex wouldn’t be in that arrangement so you’ll have to continue without that…” she raised her brows slightly and pulled her lips wide, not a smile or a frown either, “you’ve never asked for such a thing though, not from any of your previous doctors that is, not that I know of. Hmm…” Meghan squinted then smiled, Miranda had almost lost her in her deflection and avoidance, “Sometimes the obvious answer isn’t the right one. -Some people feel more comfortable in institutions, the outside world can be a very unfriendly place - especially when people feel alienated by it. Kind of like a big protection blanket, is there something outside of the institution that you don't feel ready to face yet? You must have been under a lot of pressure to be relieved by a lack of responsibility after taking on so much at your age. I would think it must be very hard for you to accept not being in charge. -forgive me if I'm making any unfair assumptions Miranda.”
 
It was a truth that Miranda hadn't grown up with the same social values as other people, from birth she had been told she was better than everyone else and when it proved to be true, at least in the intellect and opportunities wise. That reality was only supported as she grew older, Miranda never found a challenge she couldn't overcome and she always got what she wanted, there had yet to be anything she desired that didn't find its way to her sooner or later. So she developed some characteristics that didn't quite fit in with the norm society laid upon people, she found herself more attracted to someone who confronted her and put up some sort of challenge, whether it be intellectual or otherwise. In fact she had done her fair share of mixing business with pleasure over the years, never during a negotiation or to influence a deal, she was no prostitute, but when all was said and done she could usually manage to seduce whoever she wanted, granted she was attracted and interested. Sometimes it led to bad outcomes but that was just who Miranda was and she had never regretted it once, if she found herself wanting something she would figure out how to get it or simply be as persistent as she had to be.

So the way Meghan spoke to her, the pokes and prods at spots that were quite sore, the challenge to her strength, and the general dialogue she was capable of tossing Miranda's way all had her a bit worked up. The challenging nature of it all, even if it was Meghan's job had her biting her lower lip subconsciously, had her eyes locking with the woman's. The other doctors had disagreed with her, gotten irritated and even tossed out a plethora of opinions, but none had challenged her like Meghan seemed to do so easily, the ease another impressive factor as well. However the last chunk of Meghan's attempt to learn what she was about hit home and she found herself turned on but just as combative as she was curious. Meghan was insinuating that there could be something she wasn't ready to face outside of the Centre, that there was something that she of all people found too intimidating to go out and face. Miranda had spent her life facing problems and challenges that would terrify others, send them running, and she was still standing strong, nothing got to her. However that wasn't entirely true as much as she wanted to believe so, deep down there were things she was avoiding, not scared of but not excited about returning to.

Part of her hesitation was the solitude. While Miranda could have her choice of women and entertainment she spent most nights alone, either doing paperwork, looking over contracts, or sitting around her house drinking. It had been a habit of hers and while she had never spoke it aloud she knew she had been drunk the day of her outburst. It was too damaging to her pride though, which was actually rather fragile in her current situation, and she simply took a moment to herself as she looked at Meghan. She was curious how Meghan seemed to see through her, guess right on the spot about what was bothering her and what exactly made her tick, the true meaning behind things. Of course if she hadn't and it was all assumptions it was impressive nonetheless and she planned on making sure to put a halt to Meghan's progression, give a few answers without much meaning and steer clear, the serious smirk slowly reappearing on her face.

"A serious situation? This? At best being locked in such a luxurious place is an irritation, there is no reason for me to act serious. However I will answer your questions and if I do that maybe you could meet me halfway for a bit of fun." She smirked a bit as she tapped her chin with a finger, not really expecting Meghan to meet her anywhere for anything. She began looking Meghan up and down, "And you are correct, I would not hire someone on word alone, proof must be obtained, however if I was given mistaken reports about an employee I would want to find out the truth as soon as possible." She was a bit amused by the compliments but there was still the matter of what Meghan was trying to say, that Miranda was hiding away in the institution instead of simply facing something, and she refused to allow Meghan to focus in on that, especially when the answer to so many questions would make her look sad and weak, such as why she never asked for a visitor being because nobody wanted to come see her, that she had no friends or family to speak of. So she was not in the mood to play a little guessing game and she was tired of having the woman use her knowledge time after time to pinpoint the little things that flustered her, and so she did the only thing she could do in such a situation, she went on a counter attack, a favored strategy of hers when things go rough, and one that revealed more than she believed it would.

"Your assumptions are not unfair, you are free to assume and decide anything you want about me, just like I've been making assumptions since before I even met you. It's a human nature thing you see and thus there is no way not to do so." She paused for a moment, once again she had a bit of an honest streak, she didn't deny the truth behind what Meghan said, something in her stopped her from doing so, like a silent cry for help and for someone to give a damn, a plea that even she didn't notice herself. Yet she had a conscious effort being put in to striking back and that was what was on her mind, another rather devilish grin as she finally decided to see if her thoughts on the head doctor were correct, and she was watching closely for any sign from Meghan. "I mean, assumptions can be powerful things, for instance I believe you poverty, that your education was not something as easy as most of the other people in this place, and I believe that makes you less likely to flaunt and more likely to do a good job. I also believe that you are genuinely making your own decisions about me as opposed to using my file as a knowledge base." She paused for a moment and tilted her head, leaning forward to really capture Meghan's attention. "But I also believe you didn't get this job due to your qualifications... I believe that Jacquelyn has good taste in women and you are the next in a line of affairs she likes to have. I haven't been her long but I've seen the signs, most aren't as beautiful as you but they all get an office close to hers, they all receive a high profile subject rather quickly, it's been me a few times, and they all have lesbian written all over them, or at least bi."

At this point Miranda stood up, walking slowly over to the picture Meghan had glanced at previously, walking around and getting a nice look, then grinning back over at Meghan, deciding to try and anger her, to make her mad and throw her off of her rather skilled abilities to see through Miranda. "Hmm, well this picture reveals a lot, you have someone you obviously care about and you seem so kind and loving..." The earlier phone conversation and picture had led her to believe that Meghan was a nice girl, someone with people she cared for but she had to push, had to drive her 'assumption' home. "And yet if my little guess is correct you let yourself get fucked by the boss, for what? A job? Me for a case study? Or maybe you just like getting fucked... I could help you with that if you're only looking for a bit of pleasure." She licked her lips and sauntered over towards Meghan, "It would be so convenient to have someone so close to satisfy me... I'm sure our esteemed head honcho thought the same when picking women to cheat on her husband with." She didn't touch Meghan or get terribly close to her but instead walking a circle around behind her before going back over and plopping down on the couch. "Forgive me if I'm making any unfair assumptions Meghan..."
 
She’s like… it’s like she has a rock in her shoe and she just can’t take it out for the life of her. It’s not serious, a mild irritation she says, yet she does nothing to remove herself. She doesn’t grasp still – I’m here to help her. How can I make her see that? a perplexed sigh sputtered from her as she pinched the bridge of her nose only to wrinkle it once she looked up to her. A little fun? –for all her intelligence so bold and robust her best was a little fun? and for that matter, Meghan knew well enough that the woman was already having more than just a little fun with her… but at least she did say she’d answer her question, for some reason or another Meghan took that as a small success for herself – really, above all else, that had to be considered a small win for her patient, finally willing to open up and divulge something! –that win of course short lived as she did not answer her question she began rationalizing this more and ever still she rationalized it as a no-win scenario!

I’m having trouble differentiating if the patient actually doesn’t want to leave, is scared to leave or doesn’t believe she can leave. I wouldn’t expect such defeatist redirect from such a successful woman but that is how I take her words. Maybe- she stopped writing and almost glared, “Well how could we ever possibly do that if you don’t allow us? You don’t understand Miranda that I can’t possibly figure out if it’s a mistake if y-hauow?” her pitch changed and riddled with confusion and surprise. Well, she’d hit the nail on the head – she did come from poverty and the look on her face appeared none too proud of it – seemed there was more than just regret for destitution, the look of someone who many have been treated in a way that was far worse than starvation or humble beginnings – might could be trauma of abuse? She looked down and to the left for a brief second before up with narrowed eyes a survivor’s sort of courage finding her face even though it was ill placed for the soft words that had come thus far. –what followed was more reason for distress. “I did, and yes it was h-“

Meghan’s face fell at the thoughts of her own now echoing back so severe, while she didn’t look like she’d been wounded she appeared to be in the shock previous to bleeding out, colour draining from her olive skin, lower lip hanging, big hazel eyes wide and wary. Had those not been the cruel thoughts she’d put in her head not half an hour ago? That she wasn’t intelligent or qualified near enough for this position but rather hired on her looks alone, on the fact Jacquelyn wanted her… and why did it hurt so bad hearing she was married? Fuck… how didn’t she know she was married? –more to the point, more than anything, hearing she wasn’t the first hurt. How could she be so stupid? Her face literally twisted with the sting of those words. She may have been a psychologist but she was human too and she wasn’t invulnerable when it came to the slings and arrows of emotional torment… in fact, outside of the seat and without a note pad she wasn’t even half as perceptive as she was capable of being. She should have known! It wasn’t like Meghan went looking for wedding bands and engagement rings but she was sure Jacquelyn hadn’t been wearing one during their interview and Dr. was shy Mrs…

Then Parker and her, the picture of them – a horridly raw vulnerability in its own was dragged into the pile currently raging strong, flames licking at the ceiling of her emotional threshold all the way down here from the bottom of her spirits. She was injured, insulted, wounded, completely and entirely beat and broke sitting there in the chair that put her above her patient as she finally sat back down – but not defeated, not destroyed, she’d had worse than this. Much like Miranda, the past trials she’d faced made this look like nothing… even if it felt, very real, really very much felt like something. Her nostrils flared slightly as she set down the note pad in her lap and placed her pen atop it – pausing for composure that did not want to come.

Back in her mouth did her tongue curl, licking at the swollen and sore gums where her wisdom teeth still sat crowning, a small technique she sometimes used to ground her – much like she could receive a slap or whack as a young girl when she wouldn’t settle, much like Parker could be prone to such repercussions should she not receive her desired way. She shuttered with pain as she dug the tip of her tongue into the raw exposed nerves and receding gummy flesh before her eyes rolled back and forward to find Miranda staring at her so smugly through a mist of tears that never exactly welled up, that she didn’t allow to fall. A small sniffle that whistled through her nose before she shook her head, “These sessions aren’t about me Miranda, they’re about you.” Meghan began.

“Not that it is any of your business Jacquelyn is a very charming woman, you I find insulting. Insulting is not a trait I find attractive even if you are… physically and intellectually. –you’ll just have to keep satisfying yourself Miranda.” Why was she defending Jacquelyn? –she was upset with her! –and for that matter she’d given Miranda a sharp backlash satisfy yourselfgo fuck yourself. Her lips pursed tightly before one brow quirked.

“They’re all fair, let’s move on.” Meghan said calmly before scribbling away on her pad for much longer than she had before, it wasn’t that she liked abuse and really here of all places she didn’t deserve it and certainly wouldn’t invite it but this right here… she knew… she was enabling Miranda to behave that way again if she didn’t confront it.

Meghan took a deep shaky breath and looked away again like she was getting over the last convulsion that had begged she cry, composure finally reaching her entirely when she understood she gave Miranda nothing more, when she removed the catalyst from the equation, decided to pick and choose her battles – after all, this would be a long march… no need for all answers right this second. “I’ll be your primary care giver… so I’ll be doing your rounds, recreation and taking other responsibilities of your orderly… though you’ll still have the nursing staff for when I’m not present and administering medication, et cetera, and other doctors should you need them I’m still not decided if I’ll be recommending one of my colleagues write you a prescription – you won’t be barred from group against the recommendation of my peers, also activities and other opportunities the centre offers like spa and holistic care. Mmmm… Tennis? –I might make a better match than that ball machine in the court. –for rec… I’d like us to draft a recreational schedule together. You may not have many responsibilities here but I would like to start introducing some obligations and accountability to prepare you for discharge.”
 
Miranda had always found a way to put things together and figure out things about people they didn't want out in the open, or at the very least to pinpoint their insecurities. It was the kind of thing that came in handy in her world, the world of the rich and powerful, of negotiations and business that meant millions of dollars in her pocket it all went well. It had served the young millionaire well and made her a fortune that she didn't publicize but was enough to where she could do anything she damn well pleased. While it worked for those purposes it had also served her well since arriving at the Centre, she had crushed many a people using her insight, finding out the little secrets they had hidden and exploiting them until they did what she wanted or went running, sending her off to a new doctor. It had always been the same, she had counter attacked and they had all but fallen apart, got angry or were unable to say a thing, either way it always ended with them ending the session or trying to explain it all away, and the key to that was ended. Of course she rarely moved so fast, generally she took some time to see what they had in mind before causing one of her doctor's world to crumble, gave them a minute to prepare. Meghan didn't receive that luxury.

The beautiful young psychologist currently delving into the mind of the young genius was too clever for her own damn good, she had picked out insecurities and asked the perfect storm of questions, causing Miranda to panic a bit and for her that caused reaction not fear or immobilization. However her strike had been different from all of the others she had enacted during her time at the Centre, unlike every other time there was no pleasure or sense of excitement when she all but crushed Meghan, the look of hurt on the woman's face bringing a more concerned emotion to the surface than one of pleasure and delight. So she just stood there, looking at her, waiting for a reaction of some sort that would ease the bit of uncharacteristic guilt, a sign that unlike so many before her that she would be okay and wouldn't crumble, that yet again she was different. She needed to know Meghan was strong, not only because she felt that remorse, an emotion she hadn't even been able to comprehend after beating a person, but also because she didn't want it to stop, she wanted Meghan to be strong enough to really grab her attention.

Then it came, something that seemed unlikely seeing as Miranda had attacked her so personally, she kept it together, first with a professional remark and then with the most delicious little snap back she could muster. It almost made Miranda moan, her body quivering as Meghan told her she would be satisfying herself, which only brought a smirk to her face as she began to think about how to remedy that situation and change her answer, Miranda now really into the game. Of course it hurt to be called insulting by her gorgeous caretaker but she was too enthralled in the intoxicating personality, the ability to bounce back after taking such a hit, and while she knew it would be an uphill battle she was eager to begin. Miranda was under no illusion that people liked her, she was beautiful and intelligent but her personality was rotten, she was narcissistic, blunt, rude, vindictive, and many other rather nasty little adjectives. However she had other parts to her that could be appealing if anyone noticed them through the smog of her other traits. Her honesty was one, she was blunt sure but she found no reason to lie, even if she used a lack of words to mislead people at times. She could also become incredibly sweet and protective to someone she loved and while only one person in her life had ever really been in that position it didn't make it any less true, didn't make her any less loving. Of course it was hard to get to the good of her, the wonderful person was hidden beneath a sour personality, insecurities, and a layer of distrust of other people.

Yet with Meghan that layer of distrust seemed less prominent, the woman had already begun breaking it down with each bit of kindness and care she continued to show Miranda, even if she was being a complete bitch in return. It helped that the woman seemed genuinely interested in helping her and even more as she began to show a concern and desire to spend time with her outside of the stuffy room. She did however find herself slightly disappointed with the removal of her nurse, she would miss teasing the woman, though she was sure Meghan would provide more than enough entertainment. Especially when she began talking about a schedule, something she wasn't quite fond of but decided to humor just to see what Meghan had in mind, one thing of which she knew would be tennis due to the way Meghan had introduced it. So she waited, took in the intention of the schedule and found herself wanting to say something about it, and not something in agreement with what her new doctor had in mind. Miranda had worked hard to escape group, she didn't like explaining herself in front of ignorant people with their screws loose.

However there was too much positive to point out the negative and she found herself leaning forward with a grin. "So I suppose you're going to be spending a lot of time with me then. As for the medication I would figure out a way not to take it even if you had them prescribe something for me, I don't like medication. Besides, all of your colleagues are too scared of me to do anything I don't want to, or at least they know better than to do such a thing, even if you are the boss' new plaything." She knew she had just said something horrible but she merely continued. "As far as tennis or other recreational things go I would prefer not to make a schedule, I had enough of that before I came in here, schedules full of meetings and appointments. I would prefer we simply set specific things on days and we can get to them casually, though I wouldn't mind a few sparse set appointments, at least for the start. The rest of the time you could just stop by as my care giver and see what I'm wanting to do... I think that is more than reasonable seeing as neither of us knows the other or their interests yet, at least not well." She laughed gently, a beautiful laugh if not a bit dangerous. "Though it really is up to you isn't it, as my doctor you get to decide where I go and when... So what do you think doctor... How much time do you want to spend with me? And what exactly would you like to do?" She bit her lower lip, she wasn't going to attempt to seduce her, she had already struck too many nerves, besides, she may be in a rush due to her building desire, but she wanted to make sure when she made her move that Meghan was hers, that she captivated the woman and grabbed her away from whatever hold Jacquelyn had on her, which was obvious by her previous defense of the woman.
 
Meghan smirked and crinkled her nose, “Yes, we’ll be spending lots of time together Miranda, that’s the whole point of me taking on two positions in your team. You’re right, you’re not like the other people here – you’re special, that’s why I conferred with Jacquelyn to be allowed to provide extra special care.” She didn’t seem to realize just how laced her words were with potential innuendo and unseen implications – Miranda could easily turn them around on her but with any luck she wouldn’t, with any luck, Meghan was right – with any luck her naïve approach was spot on and her naïve impressions were just that Miranda needed a more sugar sweet approach than she’d gotten with the others.

The fact was Meghan knew all sorts of directions to take and she knew the game but she’d never call it that, it wasn’t a game, people’s lives were at stake, their mental health, she’d spent years – not just this little fifteen minute exchange, entire years navigating the mine field that was Parker Fritz Ceghan. She’d done sugar sweet with her, she’d been the victim, she’d been the imposition of maternal guilt and all else, everything in between. Maybe that was why she was so well at rebounding and rolling with the blows, her first and only true love was a chronic, manic, degenerative and death-bed junkie – there weren’t many people out there who were more scattered than her and the only way you could stand beside someone as vibrant and alive, even near death as Fritz was if you could roll with the punches of her poetry in motion.

Learn to take the good with the bad and the bad with the good, cherish the moments that were bright, remember them in the dark, send the flowers before the funeral.

“I’d call that progress,” she responded to the comment about medication with a little dopey smile and a shrug. It was like she was taking a break, a breath, relaxing before the race started again – the boss’s new play thing rolled over her shoulder and down her back like it hadn’t even come, like she didn’t even hear it, she didn’t even need to shrug it off. She actually chuckled, when Marisa told her there would be no schedule, nodding at the reality she was the doctor and ultimately it was up to her how it went. The way she bit her lip was supremely cute – entirely adorable, for a brief second she wasn’t a doctor in an office with her patient she was a 26 year old girl talking to a 26 year old girl, maybe in the campus pub or a café… all by that little gesture, a bite of the lip.

Then Meghan shook her head and blinked, “Oh,”

Bzzzrpt, bzzzzrpt…

“Ahm, I’d prefer a schedule – commute is an hour and a half for me and I’m not your friend – heh, I’m your doctor. –But, for the first week or two we can compromise. Tomorrow we have a jog and a match. –I gotta get this, excuse me – sorry.”

Meghan leaned passed her chair and curled her body slightly, not looking much like a doctor as her butt popped out and filled those tight jeans so shapely – she looked her age, maybe younger pinning her arm against the seat and reaching for her phone rather than standing up and discretely answering from the other side of the desk. “Oh… ahm, Hello Dr. Lipinski… right, Jacquelyn. –yes… no… Uhm… Pleasantly surprised - progress. –I… well no, Jacquelyn I’m in a session I can’t speak right now, really. –yes I’m fine. -Y-yeah…” as she spoke one of her hands reached back and tucked a bang behind her ear, following it down her back and curling a lock around her butt jerking to one side before she uncurled from the seat and looked over her shoulder toward Miranda but never quite reaching her – expression turned pensive, maybe it was her who had the mental issues considering how fast she could change her tunes. “No. –no we’ll have to rain check. –yes I understand that Dr. –now is not the time. –Yes, thank you, good bye Dr. Lipinski.” she didn't sound so sugar sweet, even if at the start of the conversation she'd sounded like she'd taste like diabetes.

Meghan set down her phone and pursed her lips toward it disapprovingly, "right, I apologize Miranda... where were we?" turning back toward her to find her place, her posture, the reserve she'd fucking shattered like the prattling moron she could be when it came to matters of the heart and that other probably far more dangerous bundle of lifeblood a foot and change down.
 
Narcissistic was one word that could describe Miranda, she was beautiful and intelligent and she knew it, she believed she was simply incredible and that others saw her the same way she saw herself. It didn't help her grand sense of self that often times people would agree with her, give her the recognition that fueled her narcissism and allow her to become more and more self-involved. So when people paid her compliments or gave her the recognition she felt she deserved Miranda had always become pleased. Of course there were reasons to explain her narcissism, what caused her to be so self-approving and loving, why she felt the desire to make everything about her and focus on herself at all times. In fact one of the doctors had been very focused on her narcissism, droning on and on about how Miranda must have had a bad childhood to have developed such personality disorders. On one hand it was true, her narcissism was no doubt influenced by the lack of real paternal figure and her advancement in society above and beyond others of her age group, she had accomplished so much and it made her feel superior. So when Meghan used the word special and informed her of the lengths she had gone through to secure the two of them time together she couldn't help but swell with confidence.

In fact she felt rather happy, Miranda was smiling gently and looking at Meghan with actual curiosity of what else she had to say. And then it came out, the word so many had used in vain hope that she would change, 'progress'. The word didn't irritate or confuse her but she wondered how naive Meghan truly was to think she had made progress so quickly and that it all wasn't due to her to begin with. However she said nothing aloud, she had plans and they didn't involve lashing out for something so ridiculous, instead she kept her thought in the back of her mind, thought about how little progress had actually been made. Hell Miranda didn't believe there was a reason to progress, that she needed help, or that was the image she was putting forth and she planned to keep it that way. She was still not going to show any weakness, even if the woman sitting across from her suddenly had a look that inflamed Miranda's desires. She was looking at her unlike a doctor would look at a patient but how the people in movies looked at someone they found appealing. It was unusual, usually with Miranda it was simply desire, people wanted her body or her money and that was how it worked, she wasn't use to being looked at as a normal girl, especially not by such a beautiful woman and she soon found herself a bit flustered by it all, nearly chewing on her lower lip as she reconsidered her decision to wait on the seduction.

Yet almost as fast as she found herself drawn in and curious she shut down, the sound of a phone during their session locked it all down, especially when Meghan looked at her and said she needed to answer it. As if that wasn't bad enough, a business woman like Miranda not appreciating such a gesture, the person on the other end of the line was none other than Jacquelyn. The damn woman was using Meghan and she didn't deserve her. It was infuriating the young woman and as she listened on she felt sick to her stomach, especially at the start when Meghan acted like she was swooning, her voice filled with a sticky sugary tone that turned Miranda's stomach. What had happened to the strong beautiful woman before her? Did someone like Jacquelyn really get such a hold over her that she would do something so unprofessional and then have the nerves to act like a teen in love. She would not stand for it and while at first it had made her want to cast Meghan aside, thinking she was just another woman who wanted the job and the sex but nothing else, nothing satisfying or worthwhile.

Miranda didn't however, she made the decision to double her efforts, to try and get the one thing she had found herself really wanting since arriving at the Centre, Meghan. When Miranda answered Meghan her voice was solid, firm and resolute. "Where were we? I believe we were done, I mean you did answer a call during out session... A call from that woman..." She didn't snarl but there was venom usually left out from her voice as she moved from her seated position with eyes focused on Meghan, the woman moving across the room slowly, walking around behind Meghan and speaking in a low almost sensual voice, though the words were not so sweet or sultry. "I'm sure Jack just wants a bit of fun anyways, would have to keep her from claiming her plaything... It would be oh so devastating..." she almost sounded irritated, jealous and upset about having to put Meghan up for grabs but unable to do anything about, not sure what to do and just hoping that she could figure it out along the way.

However as mad as she was and as ready to end the session as she felt, Miranda wanted to ensure that she was not overshadowed by someone else that night, make sure she was the thing on Meghan's mind. So after a moment she stepped in front of Meghan and without a word of warning she grabbed Meghan and pressed their lips together, kissing her as she would a lover, tongue playfully gliding into Meghan's mouth, the act ending but not before breath needed to be caught. The with a smirk she licked her lips, "Heh, you're a fucking gorgeous woman... But a bit irritating, you know that?" She paused, stepping back but not sitting down or waiting for a response from Meghan, knowing she would probably be flustered or try and play it off. "As for tomorrow I accept your invitation, we can go for a jog and then play a game of tennis, winner gets to tell the loser one thing to do, sound like an interesting wager?" And there is was, despite having just kissed Meghan out of the blue and done something to rattle the woman, not to mention something that could actually get her in trouble, she didn't care, because it was a step towards what she wanted and Meghan's rudeness needed a retaliation, one she would really get to think about for the night, though truthfully Miranda would be thinking about it just as much.
 
When she saw Miranda’s expression it hit her like a ton of bricks – she’d made a terrible mistake just now. Not only had she been incredibly inconsiderate to even leave her phone on vibrate and not shut it off but she’d answered it in the middle of a session, a session with someone who was just opening up no less! It was such an amateur miscalculation for her position but beyond that it was a terribly rude thing to do in any context! She hadn’t even considered it was what Jacquelyn had intended, that Jacquelyn wanted to slip her up, to make sure she did none too well with Miranda even in the implicitly unlikely chance that she had the ability to do any better than any other doctor that may have attempted.

Her face dropped and the colour once again drained from it, a look of shame, guilt, remorse and distress all running through her paces “Oh goodness, M-Miranda I-“ before she could sputter out an apology however Miranda cut her off to begin her reprimand, one much deserved she knew. Yes, she was the doctor but she was a human and humans made mistakes – hell, she was a mistake and her parents had never been much reluctant to tell her so either. The venom in her voice did infect, did putrefy, Meghan did wince to a grimace. She did have words, more questions, appeals and ways to contend… but she couldn’t, she couldn’t bring herself to justify her blunder or try to recover from it – Miranda was hurt and upset and she was worth feeling it, worth acting out in it provided she did not take things too far… that was healthy right?

Then she became insulting and it was less than welcome, Meghan turned her head slightly, the wound seeming deeper as she reduced her to a play thing, the derision in her voice maybe hurt more than the words – Meghan didn’t like the idea of being so loathed she could be given that tone with ease. “It’s not like that,” she defended herself meekly. She wasn’t a plaything and she wasn’t something to be claimed! –she was a person and she was worth more than that, more than those words and a bit of fun was becoming four words she absolutely could not stand to reside in her ear again. “Sto-“ she started strong, a true rise, nearly a shout but she stopped herself mid thought.

Miranda was jealous, angry, cruel and once again insulting and in Meghan’s state of guilt for her actions she could only let her be and take each shot.

A gasp, high pitched and distressed ripped through her, a sharp pain to be soothed away by the most intimate of gestures. Meghan, at heart was the most hopeless and heartfelt of lovers, a star-crossed soul who searched desperately for a match but found not one thing but heart break – most cruel heart break. She searched for the kiss of a lover but only found the hard fuck of a woman with only disregard. She’d projected the warmth of a lover into Jacquelyn but hers was not the kiss of one, it was the kiss of a drunken one night stand free the booze – Miranda – even if doing it to hurt her… she kissed like a lover, she kissed passionately and possessively her tongue dipping passed the meeting of pliable plush flesh and swelling her soul, -so-so what if Meghan turned to butter in her grasp and so what if she did not push her back, so what if she didn’t turn her head and chide her… so what if when the exchange – and it was just that, an exchange, ended did her lips quiver till her fingers found them, eyes like a doe, mind like a fool.

Her shock lasted a good while, before her mind rebooted and her forehead wrinkled with confusion and a return of guilt and remorse. So… so Miranda thought she could be her plaything too did she? No. No, no, no. “Get out.” She whispered, staggering up from her seat – her notepad falling to the floor with a rustling as she turned and rushed for her shelf. Her shaky hands found the camera between two books and yanked it down, the cord knocking a placeholder over and several books did fall with it as she pried the data stick out and held it close to her chest in a moment of panic “Out!” Miranda had got what she wanted then, no, Meghan may not be destroyed but clearly she was more than just flustered.
 
Miranda wasn't an easy person to like much less love. In all her years she had been the girl that people looked at from afar and admired, that could easily attract another person for a one night stand and who had learned to never expect more. For her feelings were buried and she found herself becoming more and more cynical as time went on. However Meghan excited her, the woman was not only beautiful but she was obviously intelligent, and above all else she gave a damn about Miranda. It was more rare than anything else for someone to enter her life and give a shit, to not only admire and watch from afar but to actually seem to want to get to know her. In Meghan's case it was professional, she wanted to help her, but there was also no doubt of a hint of desire and intrigue beyond what her role as doctor, or even caregiver, would explain. Besides, to the young woman who had so little care of any kind given to her she didn't give a damn why, just the simple fact of having someone who seemed invested in her was enough to have her heart beating quicker and to captivate her attention completely.

Her kiss expressed her interest and desires completely, more than words or mere flirting could, a passionate and utterly wanting kiss. There was nothing Miranda wanted more in that moment than Meghan and it was sure to get across after such an action. Nothing was quite as wonderful as the reciprocation though, Meghan's body showing what it wanted, and in that moment she wanted Miranda as well, she wanted the kiss and she made no move to interfere with what was being done to her. In fact when it ended there was a look of bliss on Meghan's face, beautiful doe eyes and quivering lips, the kind of look that basically screamed 'more'. Miranda was almost inclined to give it to her but that wouldn't make her come on any more convincing that Jacquelyn's and she had it in her mind to replace that older hag in Meghan's mind and claim the woman all for herself. Yes, Miranda knew what she wanted and it was right in front of her. "Oh my, it seems you enjoyed that quite a bit... I like seeing such a reaction from a kiss... It means your nice and sensitive, lovely."

The smirk on Miranda's face didn't go away, even when Meghan began to return to her senses with her meek little 'get out'. In fact it only grew and when she ran over and grabbed the tape Miranda knew she had implanted herself into Meghan's mind, she wouldn't be going anywhere. So she nodded, "Alright beautiful I will leave, sessions over anyways." She giggled as she went towards the door only stopping to turn back around as her hand reached the knob, an expression on her face that matched her age, a youthful little pout almost, one which didn't make it obvious whether it was fake or genuine. "Just don't be late tomorrow, I would hate to think you weren't a woman of your word..." She wanted to say something else, to tell her to not dare meet with Jacquelyn, but she knew she didn't have that pull yet, she didn't mean enough and hadn't done enough to warrant being that possessive even if she wanted nothing more than to have Meghan all to herself. Thus was youth however, a mere kiss and session with someone had Miranda head over heels in her own way, not in love really but she had already come to the conclusion that she had to have Meghan to herself.

It wasn't really that odd if one knew the progression of Miranda's life, how she had never had someone she could truly call a friend, how her one love had crushed her, how everyone called her mentally unstable for a single mistake. Then again she was self-aware enough to realize it was mostly her own fault. She had never tried to make friends, believing herself superior to most and it took her a long while to get over it, and she still wasn't entirely capable of hiding her narcissism. Her lover crushed her because she found someone else, someone she had loved more but Miranda hadn't helped by rarely having time to spend with her, the time in her life being the starting year of her company. As for the outburst, for beating the man, well she had never told anyone that she had been intoxicated, that her crime of insanity had been merely one of stupidity, that her anger and stress had compiled with drinking to cause her to do something without even realizing it. Yet it didn't change anything, it didn't change the fact that she had found someone who seemed to want to get to know her in a situation where work couldn't get in the way. That Meghan, whether it be professionally or otherwise, could handle her personality and anger and have a chance to wade through it and see what was beneath. Nobody else had tried to do that.

So when she got back to her room and plopped down on her bed there was this new feeling, something tingling in her chest, a smile plastered on Miranda's face. She was truly a gorgeous woman and in her current mood it all seemed to pour forth. So she just laid there for awhile, not having much to do with her day but know that after that night it would all change, she would have mandatory things to do with Meghan, that she was special and that a person who actually gave a damn would be by her side. It had never dawned on her what the kiss may have done, whether Meghan would wish to stay her doctor after that, no she had been so full of confidence that she believed Meghan wouldn't leave and whether she was right or not she would only find out when the time came. For the moment she could only think, think about what exactly her next step was. In her mind it wouldn't terribly hard, Meghan seemed weak to advances and Miranda was more skillful than most. Chances were that after tomorrow she would have her claws nice and deep, especially if she won their little wager, even if Meghan had never technically agreed.

It wasn't until a bit later, after much thought and random acts to pass the remaining time in her day, including messing with the tennis racket that had been collecting dust in her closet, that Miranda found herself thinking back on the kiss. It had felt amazing and Meghan reciprocating had been enough to nearly bring a moan from Miranda's soft lips. That thought made her smile but it also had her hand moving south. Miranda had already been preparing to sleep, she was in her usual t-shirt and undergarments, head against a soft pillow underneath silken sheets that teased her skin with their smooth embrace. Her hand slipped beneath the covered with her, moving from her chest down past her smooth stomach, slipping inside the laced panties already moist with desire. Privacy was one perk at the Kingsley Psychiatric Centre, something the type of people who could afford it demanded. If it wasn't the case, if the walls were a bit thinner or if they had cameras watching someone would have seen Miranda pleasuring herself, plunging her fingers inside with thoughts of Meghan teasing her senses. Then, when she was done, Miranda found herself completely satisfied and caught deep in slumber.
 
Meghan gave Miranda a rather conflicted expression, she was tortured by the words but maybe more so by the meaning, most of all because she was right, Miranda was right – Meghan had enjoyed it – she was still enjoying it in a betraying place within her mind, she didn’t want to though! This was her first real chance, her first entrance into her career and look how terribly it was going! Sure, she’d made progress but she’d also failed in other directions, in honesty, she’d not just failed herself, she’d failed Miranda in a doctor-patient capacity and that was unacceptable! This was all unacceptable and terribly inappropriate and she just… she enjoyed the kiss. How could she be so fucked? How could she be so silly and stupid and… and how could she already be plunging into a deep pool of derision about it all? –maybe she’d just be like the rest, she’d just quit, she couldn’t do this!

Down to her desk did the data stick go, pinned to the wood grain by her shaky palm, she watched it, watched it shake, heard her nails scratch the wood lightly as they did, her teeth clenched before she dared repeat her request a little louder – only to find Miranda there looking at her with a youthful pout and a playful giggle… and once again she was disarmed. There was nothing in Miranda’s file about this sort of behavior, not a thing, nothing about her even being remotely pleasant to be around – it all spoke of a very graining self-inflated antagonizing woman, a know it all of the worst sort… and yet here she was, giggling and acting so sweetly like the most lively of girls their age, the pressure of the outside world practically melted away it appeared… Miranda was a woman beneath the burden of a world she’d tried to take on all by herself and a victim of the wreckage when it came crashing down – the fact she’d given her this swell of freedom and joy even with a kiss as unconventional as that was… well, it seemed like at least a bit of a win didn’t it?

When the door clicked behind Miranda Meghan collapsed down into her seat with a ragged breath her eyes rolling “Oh Ollie… what the frig did you get yourself into now?” She said in an exhausted and unreasoning tone. For someone who was supposed to be a voice of reason, for someone who was supposed to encourage change, for the woman who was supposed to help people it sure did seem she was fabulous and not only staying the same and doing the unreasonable but doing anything but help herself.

She groaned and sprawled out a little with a grimace “Frigging heck… mmnnnnngg…” Meghan looked over the side of her chair and toward her notepad and the disheveled pages. She wanted to write a little more on the final moments of the session but she was blanking, all she saw was Miranda closing in on her and kissing her with those demanding yet tender lips of hers.

Knock, knock, knock…

“… come in,” she warbled weakly as her door creaked open and an older woman, platinum blonde short feathered out hair, ice blue eyes and frameless lenses, a revealing blouse and black pencil skirt, perfectly manicured fire-truck red nails… a devious grin.

“I see your session is over now Dr. Ollerenshaw, why don’t we have one of our own then hmm?” The woman crooned before stalking toward her. “You look like you could use a little catharsis, Miranda can be… trying. C’mon, I’ll help you unwind.”

“Hnng… I’m not much in the mood Jacquelyn.” She relinquished, straightening in her seat and dropping her hands into her lap, looking at her lap regretfully.

“Y’know, I was suggesting it – don’t be rude. –just go with it.” the good doctor replied without give in her voice as she circled Meghan’s seat and placed her hands on her shoulders, digging her thumbs into the knots in Meg’s back. “C’mon, don’t fight it…” she whispered as she leaned down and much like their first she took a deep breath of Meghan’s green apple shampoo.

-

She didn’t feel dirty, she didn’t feel used, she didn’t regret it and she didn’t hate herself for it – but it was hard to feel okay with it as she waited at the bus stop just trying to focus on standing up straight, tried not to think about the fact she wreaked of sex and her hair was a mess, try not to think of the possibility that Jacquelyn may have left a mark where she bit her on the bottom, try to walk straight even though she knew her little rump was swollen and stretched… she’d be fine tomorrow but today she didn’t know if this was afterglow or a hangover more like. –at least it got her to bed quick… and moreover not regretting the fact she only had one ramen cup left to consider her dinner – her first cheque hadn’t come in yet and salary was going to be a whole new freedom… she just had to get there first.

As she found her way into the shower to wash off the events of the day it wasn’t Jacquelyn she was thinking of though, even though Jacquelyn had taken her, bent her over her desk and if not for the thick privacy providing walls her cries would have rang out through each and every hall of the centre, no, it wasn’t Jacquelyn she was thinking about – it was Miranda… Miranda and that kiss… a kiss that not only made her feel alive but made her feel wanted for something other than her body.

… Jacquelyn hadn’t kissed her once that entire time, she didn’t even hold her after, just pulled out, chuckled and left once she’d fixed her hair in the reflection of her computer’s monitor… real fucking charming that.

The thoughts were stronger on her way back, an extra tote prepared. She had her clinical clothing, a set of scrubs and some athletic clothes, her racket and a few balls, runners, wedges and a bag of toiletries – most doctors kept a spare set in their locker or office if they used to facilities but Meghan couldn’t justify the spending just yet – maybe next week when her Salary came but till then she was slumming it and she’d be venturing both ways with a full kit all week it seemed.

She wondered how Miranda would be today, if she’d be aggressive and antagonizing or if she’d be giggling and smiling sweetly, if she’d be insulting or charming, seductive or cruel, if she’d try to kiss her again… and while Meghan had never agreed to it – what possibly she could ask if she lost the match they intended to hack out… more important than all that, than her self-absorbed obsessions, if she’d be able to help her today – if she’d be able to breed more progress if there was any at all and not just a shift of mood that was still new.

Was that why she’d stood at her doorstep for three whole minutes before she gave three chaste courtesy knocks? –stepping in just as the third echoed out. “Miranda? –time for rounds!” She chimed into the dusky room in an outfit similar to the day before, jeans, flats, an imitation designer blouse – sweater vest combo, her charm bracelet and many little ear piercings of cheap conception.
 
Miranda's sleep was peaceful for once, where she usually had rather restless nights or undesirable dreams there was peace and quite an interesting little dream with Meghan as the star. It was the best night sleep she had in a long time, though considering she hadn't even slept more than four hours a night on average prior to the Centre it wasn't too hard to have a better nights sleep. Her work life had kept her busy beyond belief, a girl of her age worked harder than most any of her peers, she had the stress of a CEO on her shoulders without the experience to fall back on and while she was smart enough to handle it she had never really felt like it was easy. Perhaps that was one of the reasons she enjoyed it, because unlike so many things in her life it was challenging, difficult, and overcoming each new obstacle made her feel alive. Yet here she was, stuck in a place where there was only one person who gave a damn, one person who was beginning to make her feel comfortable, and it was more exhilarating than the toughest obstacle. Not to mention it allowed her some breathing room, she didn't feel like she was being pressured constantly, she felt at ease and comfortable, not common adjectives to describe her everyday life, even within the walls of the Kingsley Centre.

Miranda's sleep was so deep and needed that she didn't wake up at the knocks at her door, she was still fast asleep in bed, though her positioning had changed since falling asleep with her hand down her panties. She was laying on her back, head tilted to the side with strands of her beautiful hair making her sleeping face look more beautiful than ever, and almost innocent without the cunning dangerous expressions. Her shirt had managed to ride up and reveal her smooth stomach and only one leg was still under the silken sheets, the other was spread atop them, her panties in full view. Miranda was a sight to behold, her usual allure still present but the captivating sight was increased with the natural feel of it all. Of course things never stayed so simply, the sound of movement into the room had started to rouse her and after a few moments her eyes opened up and found the momentarily blurred outline of Meghan's form, which woke her up quickly enough, no surprise on her face, though it was what she was feeling. Instead she played it off as cool as always with a little smile, devious if nothing else, a finger motioning for Meghan and a little, "You can join me." meant to tempt Meghan pouring from her lips.

Miranda didn't believe Meghan would be joining her though and she sat up after a moment, the shirt dropping down and covering her stomach but now her lovely neck being the focal point as the shirt was too big and just perfect to reveal the supple flesh of her neck. She looked Meghan up and down and as with the day before found herself chewing on her bottom lip without even realizing it. After a moment she slipped off the bed, not hiding her looking and gave Meghan a little grin. "Just let me slip into something for our little day of adventure." She didn't hesitate as she pulled the shirt off in one swift movement and tossed it into a little corner with several other articles of clothing, Miranda obviously taking advantage of other people cleaning up after her, though the room was neat and tidy aside from that. She then did the same with her bra, freeing her perky breasts before stepping out of her panties, doing it all without even waiting for Meghan to look away, even going as far as to turn back and give her a sly little smirk, moving her lips as if to say 'Enjoying the view?' but not actually saying anything.

She didn't flaunt it however, it was merely casual, to tease and mess with the beautiful woman standing in her room, a room that by all accounts was private, a place where she could do whatever she wanted. She simply grabbed a new pair of underwear, something a bit more suited for physical activity and it fit her form very nicely. Then she grabbed a usual tennis outfit that had practically been gathering dust, a white tennis skirt, made for tennis but it did a hell of a job at showing off her lovely legs, and then grabbed a form fitting white top to go with it, each piece hugging her body quite well. She then slipped on some sneakers and her tennis bag, tossing it up onto the bed before turning to look at Meghan. She had a look of class about her in that moment and she took a nice deep breath, "So beautiful, what do we do first and how excited should I be hmm?" She insinuated something sexual lightly but didn't go further, in fact she seemed to be on her best behavior in a way, though it wasn't forced, it was just her mood for the moment, to at least allow Meghan a moment to relax.

Of course as good of behavior as Miranda was on she found herself walking to the bed and sitting on the edge, her legs just slightly spread, not improper but it was a tantalizing sort of open, the inner thigh such a lovely little sight. "I know a run and some tennis, a little workout to be sure, but not immediately right? I'm going to need a little something to eat before we get underway." Miranda was very skilled at keeping a conversation moving despite all the innuendo and often times rudeness of any given conversation with her. Not to mention every action of hers seemed designed to catch the eye, the view of her smooth thighs, the linger smile on her face, how she tucked a small strand of hair behind her ear while never taking her eyes off of someone. It was difficult to remain in control of oneself when around her and she liked it that way, especially as she watched Meghan. Though there was something different about her than normally, she had a desire to leave a good impression, even if it was mixed with her usual bad, or at the very least have Meghan think of nothing but her and that was the entire goal for the day, how far it went, well that was yet to be seen.
 
Meghan stood in the doorway for a moment before she stepped in on instinct alone – regretting for the most brief of pangs she hadn’t said anything at all as her eyes adjusted to the room and the sight of a peaceful, beautiful – stunningly so – Miranda left her in awe, she was in awe of her and it was… her heart skipped a beat and a wheeze of a breath choked her up on the insides. She looked so… but then that devious smile came and the invitation to join with it and the moment died a putrid little death in the pit of her stomach – eyes rolling and lips pulling to a squiggled line that expressed something between a pout and a grimace. “Let’s not start that Miranda.” She said with a huff of contrition as her eyes sunk down to the floor trying to bat away memories of glimpses she never should have taken – that flat stomach of soft supple skin, the drawing lines of her slender neck and the dip of her collar bones, her panties and the plump mounds of flesh they hid Meghan had been thinking on not long ago.

To say Meghan hadn’t thought of Miranda in moments of idle vulnerability would of course be a lie, she didn’t think about how Miranda could make her feel so inept and unprepared though – she thought about her lips on hers, she thought about her tongue that had playfully dipped over hers, about her hands holding her in place and all the invitations to draw her in, to succumb to her voracious wiles and they were. It wasn’t fair. She wondered how Miranda may be outside of this place, outside of work, if they were just too girls in a pub with a couple drinks between them, if Miranda would be charming without something to prove, if she’d be sweet instead of antagonizing and chivalrous instead of seductive, of course she’d still have that allure but would it be without the biting edges? Meghan wondered how it was she got to be so beautiful with the glaring blemishes on her soul, Meghan wondered if she was sick or deranged entirely, she wondered if she’d be able to help her and she wondered what her motives might be behind continuing after all that had happened because really, in her heart of hearts, when Miranda kissed her – she knew that should have been their last moment together as doctor and patient, she knew from that point forward everything was painted with a grey brush of indifference, she knew she couldn’t truly help her as the facilitator because it was now all unprofessional and inappropriate… but hell… wasn’t she the only one to get her to make any progress what so ever?

Her eyes rolled up from the floor to the ceiling as she almost whined, Miranda was acting like they were friends and this was all a joke, she wasn’t going to get any better with that attitude and it was really hard for Meghan to keep her head out of the clouds too. Miranda was treating this more like a date than she was like therapy and… and maybe that was okay for her but for Meghan it was almost painful – she couldn’t get a date out there, she didn’t have time for a date out there, she had time for her shitty little apartment with no TV and mismatched dishes, she had time to debate if she had the money or time for a fancy drink from starbucks before work like the other doctors, she had time to wish she had more time and wish she had someone but she didn’t have time for a date and she wasn’t sure she had the will to put herself out there to find one anyway… it was easier just to put a movie on Netflix or stream one from the internet – curl up with one of her three cats, one, two, three, and call it a good ole’ college try at not being alone. –and here she was, with a patient who was the most stunning woman she’d seen in quite some time acting as if… and then stripping. “Oh gosh, Miranda – Really?” she did, in fact, whine as she covered her line of sight with a hand and look away – just catching a glimpse of her form no less perfect than imagined, imagination however not quite doing it justice – it never did.

As the show went on, she took a deep breath and steeled herself – she as an adult and a professional and letting her mind run riot on fantasy and tangent was not something she would allow any further – a staunch – although forced expression of unrecognition taking hold as she looked to Miranda on the bed in what quite possibly could have been the most fantasy inducing outfits ever… after all, Meghan did love the game and she’s spent many a sultry tangent watching her teammates in their skimpy sweat soaked get ups grunting and… fuck.

“A run to warm up then we’ll go to the courts but I need to stop in my office for my bag and then the recreational wing showers to change – breakfast first is fine. –and enough of the innuendo Miranda – can you at least pretend to be civil for one morning?” it sounded more like a plea than it did a rhetorical round about judgement by the time the words left her lips, puffed her blushing cheeks, were expressed by dubiously distraught eyes, regardless of her words her expression showed just how irresistible Miranda was to her, “C’mon, let’s not waste time.” Meghan added for posterity before pushing out of the room and walking toward her office – it was one the way to the cafeteria after all.

… and a breath of solace her own possessions could provide seemed an attractive prospect as they’d been only five minutes together and already her palms were sweaty and her face burned with unmistakeable fluster.
 
When Miranda had woken up she had seen an expression on Meghan's face that spoke towards what she thought of Miranda, or at least of her appearance. Yet as soon as she spoke, when she presented that flirtatious line, that expression soured. It wasn't a new experience for Miranda, that reaction seemed common when people found out who she truly was, how flirtatious and playful she could be beneath her exterior. Of course for Meghan it was a bit different, her position dictated professionalism and Miranda was being purposefully sharp and venomous in her own way, not flirting innocently but making sexual innuendos that weren't flattering unless both parties wanted just that. However it had always been that way, Miranda could recall the women who came on to her at the office, people she had hired and who had nothing but respect for her, young girls captivated by the young and gorgeous CEO who led from the front. She could remember them asking her on dates, always bright eyed and starstruck, and then once outside of the corporate atmosphere, when the seriousness fell away and Miranda became more similar to a girl her age, or as close as she could come to one with her many quirks and flaws, they became disinterested. People never seemed to like what they found beneath the surface when it came to Miranda, expectations always found wanting. Not that she wasn't intelligent or witty, not that she wasn't beautiful and at times even kind, but it was always something ridiculous, like people believing she would be more mature, her title being seen ahead of her age.

With Meghan it was different however, she had seen Miranda sleeping, sweet and almost innocent, beautiful, and then the moment Miranda awoke she was dirtying that image with an invitation into bed and further narcissism and perversion. It worked in its own way though, she could see the looks of desire on Meghan's face, how irresistible the beautiful doctor found her. Yet as flustered and out of whack as Meghan seemed there was also a distinct hint of disappointment, whether it be for Miranda or for herself was uncertain. Either would make sense, people always thought Miranda could be more than she was outside of work and chances were Meghan felt defeated in a way, her job not entailing being constantly hit on and played with by her patient, especially what seemed to be her first patient. So here Miranda was, a decision to make and one she wasn't really eager to do. She could continue her little game, and it was just that to her, a game, or she could change it up a bit and try to make it all a bit more fair. Of course regardless of her decision it was still a game, she just had to decide something, whether she wanted to continue on hiding or step out into the light just a bit, show more of her real self without all the sharp bites and edges, and just see what happened.

What seemed like an easy choice wasn't, in fact it was a terribly difficult choice and as she sat on the edge of the bed listening to Meghan's little plan she was struggling over what to do. Pulling back on the reigns and holding back on the torment she had been purposefully using to play with yet another doctor and protect herself. It would mean making herself more vulnerable, and for what? She still wasn't quite sure why she was even considering it. "Civil..." She muttered to herself, looking over at Meghan without making an obvious little detour to one of the many delectable curves she had taken so much pleasure in viewing. She still wasn't quite sure what to do, she could work with either but the small part of her that wanted to ease up and see how that worked out was beginning to win over, Miranda wouldn't mind seeing Meghan smile instead of scoff, be impressed as opposed to flustered, and then of course perhaps then she could wiggle her way in. So as Meghan beckoned her to come and she looked upon that adorable flustered face she felt something click into place and she simply took a deep breath and followed, her tennis bag in hand.

Miranda's attitude from her room onward changed, where she would have previously been smirking and commenting on the incredible ass walking in front of her or even go as far as to brush her fingers along some exposed part of Meghan's flesh, she was now simply following. After a moment she even made an attempt to strike up a conversation that wouldn't leave Meghan on her guard, one that would bring the word civility back to the woman's mind as a truth and not a desire. "Well, I'm thinking pancakes for breakfast, some apple juice, maybe some eggs as well who knows. The cafeteria here is pretty good, I usually eat alone in my room but since there's occasion." Too much truth, that was all that rang out in her mind, she hadn't meant to make herself sound so damn sad, but it was the truth and she didn't come at Meghan with some innuendo to try and cover up how she had eaten every single meal alone since she arrived, hell even prior to her arrival, another little piece of the puzzle that was Miranda Velrose, and yet another example of the presence of loneliness in her life.

"What about you... What are you hungry for? What does Meghan eat before she works out?" she paused during the sentence, stopping herself from using lovely, beautiful, sexy, or any word with similar meaning. She also avoided using the words get physical or once again implying they would be sharing a bed or some other form of sexual intimacy by the end. It was much harder than she believed it would be, not only did covering up her insecurities become more challenging but she had to watch her words because it had been so long since she had to mind her manners that instinct was to be rude and rash. All the while she still wondered why she was doing it at all, why bother being this way when she should have had the same goal with Meghan as all the others, and if she had an answer that made sense she was refusing to acknowledge it.
 
As Meghan kept pace toward her office she was incredibly, pleasantly surprised all that came was the sound of her nervous foot falls… she wished she could be relieved but cautious optimism had always been more her pace and caution generally wasn’t vey relieving – she called it cautious optimism but the smile, that fools smile like a spring rose just as likely to blossom as it was to wither – that was not a smile of optimism it was more a smile of too dumb to know any better or too blind to accept reality or… it was a sad, hopelessly hopeful fool’s smile and a wither while appearing just as likely as the other in reality was almost always the certainty, nothing but heart break came to smiles like that, she kept her head up so she’d always see the next good thing to come he way and sure it was better to place your faith in the wrong things than nothing at all but… but how many times could she hope for something to be happy about, truly, long lastingly, undeniably happy – before… before that sigh of derision, that little creeping doubt, that god-be-damned cautious-mother-fucking-optimism. As if she didn’t feel it, see it, know it, she knew it – she saw how pathetic she was and she felt every blow grieving and glancing alike – but still she smiled, still she kept her head up, everybody had their shit, she wasn’t special and it was nothing supernatural… that’s why she smiled, because she wasn’t special and her shit was nothing supernatural – just like everybody else she got her silver linings and her happily ever after and this too would pass sooner or later so yeah… she smiled stupidly and she kept her head up even when most days, that creeping normalcy and pathetic little change is going to come attitude was enough to make her want to fall to her knees, curl into a ball and just purge.

Miranda wasn’t her silver lining and she wasn’t her happily ever after and maybe this job wasn’t even either of those things – in fact, it might just be more cause for contemplative cautious optimism – but she’d keep her head up and she’d keep that fool’s smile. So after a few moments of solace as they walked when Miranda spoke Meghan glanced over her shoulder at her not pensive or with a grimace, not dubious or wrought with worry – just a cautiously optimistic fool’s smile with the eyes of a person who’d been kicked one time less too damn many… or maybe one who just couldn’t handle another kick and strange as it was the eyes looking back at her… well, they didn’t really seem much too different. “Pancakes… apple juice… eggs…” she huffed out word by word before making a face at her, smiling a little wider, eyes narrowing to a crinkle of amusement. “I took you for more of a parfait and coffee black sort.” The blossom was over so then came the wither “I know a bit about eating your meals alone,” she expressed – maybe searching for similarities, maybe pointing them out, maybe just being friendly, but admitting to vulnerability regardless which was disarming to most – for most.

A small huff came, she wanted Miranda to open up – she should too – “I moved to the city for my residency last year, cats don’t really count for company at the dinner table.” She said in a voice that suggested she’d debated it at least once, knew better, decided better. Cats, more than one cat, not my two cats – at least three cats her only company… she didn’t even like cats!

She shook her head and let a one note chuckle pass her luscious lips as she slid her key into her door upon reaching her office, “Not parfait and black coffee.” She admitted, a strange ebb and flow in place that she seemed cheerier than ever now that Miranda was playing nice, nicer. “Ahm… before a work out? A big bowl of frosted flakes, two eggs, over hard, one slice of toast – multigrain, half an orange, a glass of milk and a cup of cottage cheese… at least, that’s what coach told us to eat before a match.” She shrugged and found a worn looking gym bag with a university athletics logo in relief on the side, “-but, I’ll probably just go for some eggs, toast and that orange… maybe the coffee too, double double, but it’s all decaf here unless...” She blinked and grimaced, “don’t tell any of the other patients that.” While there were two separately labeled pots, they were both decaffeinated unless you were in a staff lounge or had one of the specialty cups – one of those best kept secrets that didn’t really seem to be necessary or make much sense when a simple truth could easily replace a needless lie.

“Shoot… erhm, better just skip the coffee.” She didn’t realize it but she’d just divulged more than a harmless fact about the centre’s coffee – there was also double double a Canadian term for two cream, two sugar, the fact she’d referred to a coach – suggesting she’d been a participant of organized sport not just someone who swung a racket for a work out of the university tote didn’t say it already, the fact she could put away a meal when it was put before her and she lived a humble enough life that even something simple as a coffee and parfait seemed like a yuppie’s meal to her.
 
Miranda had seen a lot of looks in her lifetime, met a lot of people and done many things, both good and bad. She could remember the first time making a big business deal, it had been a quick transaction with a rather impressive mom and pop operation and they had smiles across their faces, happy to be given the money needed to take a step back and see their company in the hands of a bright eyed young woman. Yet as the years went on she found less of those reactions and more stressful expressions. She could remember so many deals and negotiations where anger and depression were the only looks left, where she was either being screamed at by some arrogant fool or looked at with pleading expressions begging for mercy. Yet neither of those changes her mind, none of that had ever bothered her. In fact Miranda hadn't even bat an eye when she had to crush such people, she simply did what had to be done and returned to business as usual. Yet as ruthless as she could be it never meant she didn't know what it felt like, it didn't mean she couldn't empathize, Miranda simply didn't have the time or freedom to give every person with a sob story a chance and she would be damned if anger would slow her face. No, as a young woman who had always taken care of herself, who had raised herself, she protected herself, and by extension her company, without a single sign of weakness.

So when she felt a pang of remorse at the look in Meghan's eyes she knew she had less control at the current time than usual. In fact she found herself chewing on her lower lip again, a habit that had always been much too revealing and more trouble than it was worth. It was almost too much trouble to keep acting so normal and considerate as well, her mind was screaming out for her to push Meghan away, drive her off, destroy her like she had so many others, to keep herself protected from what she was sure would eventually come if she continued to share and open up. Yet as Meghan began telling more about herself she found herself too interested to shut back down and just listened, drawing a few conclusions as they walked about her new doctor. She quickly grabbed that Meghan was a lonely person, that while Jack had obviously taken her for an affair and while she seemed attached to family and a possible lover, that none of that kept her happy. It allowed Miranda to guess at the status of each relationship. Jack's being strictly sexual didn't surprise Miranda, the woman was rather disgusting, even if she was a bit alluring in her own way. The woman on the phone was most likely nowhere within easy visiting range, thus the support was less than adequate to cure someone of loneliness. Then there was the girlfriend, probably an ex-lover or someone who, while being adored by the beautiful woman that was Meghan, was unable to provide comfort for her.

A thought crossed Miranda's mind for a brief moment, that she was better than all of them, that she was close and desired Meghan, and then almost instantly she swallowed in disgust. She was no better, Miranda couldn't even find someone who wanted to be around her, she wouldn't be able to do a damn thing for Meghan. However her mind slipped off that and back to the rest of the conversation, trying not to dwell on what felt like a failure of character, the inability to help another, being so useless that she accomplished nothing. Instead she focused on the word coach, listening to the well balanced breakfast that was by all means for an athlete, which apparently she had found in Meghan. It was exciting in its own way because as much as Miranda was curious to play tennis again she never enjoyed winning easily, even if she did like to win, especially when it came to an athletic endeavor, that was best one by skill and physicality alone. Hell it didn't even dawn on her that she was so out of shape, having been on lock down for quite some time and having been so stressed previously that it had been quite some time since her last jog, much less a tennis match. She wouldn't back down of course and she still probably had the tennis part down from muscle memory, but she wasn't going to be in the kind of shape where she could just not worry about it.

Miranda wanted to keep the conversation going though and even when Meghan revealed the little Centre secret she kept going, even slipping in a little comment to make her realize the secret was safe. "I'm not a coffee drinker, too bitter..." She smiled brightly and gave a cute little expression, tongue going out her mouth and a 'yuck' look, "And I've seen what it can do. I like parfait well enough but it's not exactly my breakfast of choice, and besides, I may have made money for myself and come from a name with a strong reputation but I lived rather roughly for some time, I'm not old money despite what everything would point towards. My parents are wealthy, that much is true and thus it allowed me some advantages, but when I graduated college and founded my company it was all me, there was no parental backing or family money, I wouldn't hear of it and they didn't believe in me enough to try." She took a moment and looked at Meghan, a little shrug coming a few moments later, "Besides, as much as my life tended to wander into high society it isn't me, I've always had simple tastes, even if I do have some preferences and tendencies derived from my 'status'."

The current Miranda was someone who seemed her age, Miranda being in her mid-twenties easy to forget when one talked or heard about the woman. The lack of her defense mechanism made her vulnerable and as she said more it became even more difficult to keep herself from tossing the barrier back up and calling it a day, irritating Meghan off and sending her running for the hills. But deep down it seemed to be what she wanted, even if she couldn't realize that herself. Because instead of running away or attacking to keep herself safe she was only opening up further to the young doctor. It was easier to remain ready to react, to brace herself and remain open at that point than to quickly shut down once more, Miranda smiling from behind Meghan as she followed, leaving almost all real decisions up to her, how fast they moved, if they were going to allow people to see them together in the cafeteria, and how long they spend eating before they moved on. She wanted no pressure to be on Meghan no matter her choice but for it to be just that, her choice, that just wouldn't do, she had to at the very least figure out what it was Meghan was feeling without directly asking or using her usual feelers.
 
Meghan was taken by surprise, more than just a little bit by surprise by her once again, Miranda had awe in high supply just like she had aghast in high supply, she was feeling pretty blessed to get the former. There was plenty to be in awe about as far as Miranda went but in this moment it was a rather simple reason, an easy one, one that wasn’t who she was or what she did in her whole life it was just… Meghan’s insides flopped inside of her when Miranda stuck out her tongue and made her little face, her feels on coffee – it was more than just the incredibly cute display that was her yuck face. There was humility in that face, ironic considering how egotistical and pedantic the woman could be… maybe she was less polar than the previous doctors would have had her believe… maybe Miranda did just need a vacation and taking things the way she was-was the best she had, maybe the doctors were just making it worse… she’d have to get her to express concern and remorse for that judgement to get any credence though – for now it was just a speculation.

… part of her wished she had her note pad for this – a bigger part wished she had a camera but forever that face would be crystalized in her memory, a little reference to pull whenever her lips needed an upward tug, when the destitute fool’s smile needed some genuine article to it right now, in this moment, it seemed genuine as could be, Meghan couldn’t hide it and she wouldn’t try to even if she thought she needed to! Meghan seemed to be having the time of her life and there was a reason for that, she did feel to be having fun, she didn’t get to have a lot of fun otherwise.

She was so sure that Miranda wasn’t what they made her out to be on that display alone but the truth was – in her past there were moments she’d never been so sure only to find out she’d never been so wrong… she was so sure Parker and her would be together forever, that Parker would finally accept the love she had to give and give in return the love she so desperately wanted to accept.

She paused to listen all the same, curious as to what might come up, what more she may give her. Meghan made a little face at rough living, she wouldn’t pick at it but somehow she doubted Miranda’s idea of rough living looked anything like hers Meghan had come from nearly ever slop bucket that was the bottom and she remained pretty up beat, she didn’t carry it like a badge, she didn’t use it to discount her accomplishments or empower them – to inflate the – like it appeared Miranda was doing. Meghan came from more than just a broken home, she came from a cracked house that wasn’t a home that had shards of broken liquor bottles that never quite reached the garbage can under every couch, the fridge and whatever other furniture stood raised, she had a mother that enabled it and a father that enforced it, two siblings that ran and hid she wasn’t even sure would recognize her anymore if she ever built up the courage to go back… and that was just the start, that was the first of many rough living environments she’d crawled out of, she was no stranger to rough neighborhoods not because there wasn’t a Starbucks or wifi but because sirens never stopped and hot water was a war – and that said – to say much more, to really speak on it, it made her feel like she was being ungrateful for where she was now. Rough living… she couldn’t keep at least a little envy from her hazel eyes though she whisked it away quickly.

“I know a little bit about your accomplishments, not much about the rest, hrm, your upbringing and… yeah – where you came from doesn’t really matter a whole lot I guess,” what you were supposed to say but the words of a martyr who didn’t come from a thing, who didn’t want themselves discounted for it, “I guess that…” Meghan tried hard to compile her words but it seemed the train of thought on her own demons had taken her off kilter… she wanted nice things too and maybe the fact Miranda had them but chose to run from them here was hard to swallow in a selfish and self-absorbed moment. “Well, I just think that where we come from and the influences our parents may have had and all that… it doesn’t make you who you are, even if your parents put every last red cent in your hand for financial backing what you’ve done is remarkable.”

As Meghan reached the door of her office she questioned why she felt the need to even say that.

“-But I’m sure you already… yeah.” A hard huff out of her nostrils the two membranes flaring slightly as she jiggled her key into the lock with a bit of shake in her hands, “Why don’t you come in for a sec, I just need to check something.” She offered over her shoulder as they pushed inside. Meghan found her desk and rounded the other side setting down her clip board and finding the note pad from yesterday – staring at it for a moment, the ripples in the paper from when she’d dropped it, from when Miranda had kissed her. The young girl pinched her lip between her top and bottom rows of teeth, dragging them along the plump pillows till they became swollen and flushed, her cheeks little different. “I ahm…”

“Right.” Flustered after the moment of vulnerability, she wasn’t so different from anyone else, she was only human and she had her poor coping mechanisms – intimacy was her cure-all. Meghan opened her day planner and pretended to tend to appointments but really she was composing herself, she looked to the pad again to write a note but all she could think of was how gorgeous Miranda was, she… she had to get her act together but even behind her desk, the separating factor that put her above, she just couldn’t…
 
Life wasn't exactly difficult for Miranda, what she considered hard might have been a dream for other people, and while her parents were emotionally distant they were never abusive or harmful. In fact her rough period was cheap food in a ratty apartment that she hardly even visited due to the massive time spent at her office. It was takeout and scrapping together enough money to pay for her own things while pouring every other cent right back into the company that now had her as rich as anyone had managed at such a young age without inheriting the wealth. Of course it hadn't been easy, not by a long shot, perhaps even more so due to her being born to privilege before making the transition. To her having to eat ramen and constantly partake in fast food had been quite the ordeal, cheap clothes and barely having enough money to pay for water and air conditioning. She had to use the internet at the office because she couldn't afford to pay for it at the company and her house, and she didn't have a cellphone for a long time. All of that in combination with her independent personality and she did have some rather difficult times, at least for what she considered difficult.

Yet she had gotten past it, moved into a new way of life, and look where that had got her. Then again her current situation wasn't so bad, especially when she began to notice something. Miranda's own vulnerable moments seemed to only bring about the same from Meghan, or more precisely seemed to remove the little barrier that had hid any of what she was thinking and feeling from the outside world, and it was quite nice. Genuine actions and words from Miranda evoked similar such things from Meghan. It was one of those things Miranda had never quite understood even though she typically grasped just about everything. How the mere act of being honest and vulnerable could bring about the same from another, how most people opened up without even realizing it simply because another person did. It wasn't always true, Miranda's past reactions to the genuine advances of others could be used as proof of the opposite, but often enough it did just that. In this specific case Miranda found herself quite happy, having never truly tried such a thing before, and while she didn't realize it she was becoming more open as they went on, as the back and forth became more natural and she effectively brought down the angry cunning barrier she had used to keep others out, to make sure none of the other doctors could see the side of her Meghan was getting to see. She was being her true self, at least most of her true self.

So as she noticed the rather obvious expressions of happiness on Meghan's face she felt happy herself, a warm joy in her chest that had her biting her lip when Meghan wasn't looking. She truly was gorgeous and seeing her happy, well it made being mean to her seem so much less appealing, even if she did like the tortured look of desire as well. Miranda began to wonder how she could get a healthy mix, how she could worm her way in enough to have Meghan want the desire and teasing but be happy during and every moment afterwards. Such were thoughts she had not had in some time and never expected to find in the place she was stuck, especially after all the hell she had put every other person through. Not to mention one of the women being toyed with by the older boss, not that the woman wasn't rather sexy in her own way but Miranda was a jealous and possessive woman when it came to love, she didn't like to share, especially not after being played by so many women in her life who found one part of her attractive but ultimately never wanted to commit. She had always wondered why, why people couldn't seem to love her entirely, even those she believed had ultimately disappointed her. So after all that how could she begin feeling something so deep for Meghan so quickly? That she didn't know and she was having conflicting emotions on how to handle the situation.

Yet with a compliment and the cute little huff afterwards she almost swooned, the narcissistic side of her loving the praise, especially when it was so natural and genuine. She reached up and placed her hand on Meghan shoulder as they moved into the room, body feeling light as the small bit of contact had her heart beating faster, fingers ever tempted to trace up to the flesh of that beautiful neck. She kept herself from doing so however, simply gazing upon it as they walked inside, only allowing her hand to part from that shoulder as Meghan went towards her desk, though her eyes never averted. She watched as the graceful doctor moved over and to her desk, watching as she chewed on her lip, the swelling only attracting Miranda's eyes. There was something different about the way she was looking at Meghan now though, the look in her eyes was more than lust, there was a desire akin to romantic feelings, a desire to simply be close to her even if there was nothing more. She simply wanted Meghan and the hue of the woman's cheeks hinted that there was a similar desire coursing through Meghan as well.

As much as Miranda's plan had been long-term, or at least the day of holding herself back and showing more of what she believed would entice Meghan, in the end she couldn't hold back. Miranda began slowly walking towards the desk as Meghan was distracted, her fingers touching several of the things on it but ultimately just making her movement to the other side of the table seem more natural, almost innocent. It wasn't however, as she reached the other side she made her way behind Meghan, behind the woman she so desired, leaning and letting her hands slowly wrap around Meghan. Her head rested on the woman's shoulder, her breathing was heavier and her heartbeat no doubt felt by the woman whose back her breasts were pressed upon. "Meghan..." One word, a name, and yet it filled her with desire and warmth. "I... I wanted today to be normal, to make you feel at ease... And that isn't something I've wanted to do for anyone in a very long time, but..." She paused, her eyes closing, feeling even a bit nervous from this moment, a moment that whether Meghan believed what would come next or not was completely honest. "But I really don't think that's possible, not with how incredible of a person you are..." She didn't say woman or imply it was just her beauty, it was Meghan she found herself wanting and while the appearance may have initially attracted her attention it was not was caused her little turn around in opinion and desire.

"So Meghan... Unless you pull away and make it clear that you feel nothing then I'm not going to stop... However, if you do... I'll stop for good, no more, if you don't want this, me, I won't push it further." She bit her lower lip, her arms holding Meghan close, her act more impulsive than it seemed and while it was no doubt seductive but it was also genuine and her lips gently kissed Meghan's neck, the intoxicating scent drawing her in further. One hand wandered upwards, not to her breast, not attempting to rush anything, simply moving up up tracing up her stomach and all the way up to her face, gently brushing her fingers over the lovely face she longed to see smiling, and moaning. Her tipped the head to the side, allowing the delicate flesh of her neck to be further revealed, and let her tongue lap across it before kissing once more, kissing up and up until she reached the jaw, kissing once more before tracing her tongue along the jaw and then up the to lobe that rested so beautifully before her, nibbling it gently as her heart beat faster and faster and the butterflies in her stomach went crazy, more nervous than she could ever remember and the suddenness of all of it didn't fail to astound her, though in the moment she didn't give a damn. And while she had offered the chance for Meghan to get away for good she was gripping her tightly at that point, her body doing what her pride and lips could not, begging Meghan not to pull away, making it clear she was a tad desperate, her own words making her slightly scared that it could actually happen. For all her narcissism and confidence it seemed to be lacking in that moment, though honestly who knew if Meghan would believe any of it, for all her lovely doc knew it was yet another ploy to destroy her as Miranda had done so many before her.
 
Meghan shivered with the memory, a little warm tingle up and down her neck and around her shoulder skittering across her sensitive skin that longed so nervously for more. Jacquelyn didn’t touch her like that, even when Jacquelyn was tender there was a certain demand to it, not quite urgency but… but with Jack she felt backed against a wall, she felt a complete and total loss of internal influence, like she was relinquished control and Jack just fucking… she leveraged everything against her and well at that point what was left for her? Nothing but an agreement like she had a choice in first place – Miranda was leaving her the choice. Jacquelyn played on the illusion of choice but took every iota, she acted charming and coy but only while it was convenient because there was always the guillotine over her head. Miranda was right, Jack probably did hire her for her looks and probably knew her intention from the very start and it wasn’t just some chance click and she wouldn’t have ever even dreamed of this job without her legs spread and… and she could have imploded under that if not for that little tingling, that warm tingle that only came with intimacy… true intimacy, not just the illusion of it much like the illusion of choice and the illusion of worth and “Hnngh…” Miranda was leaving it all to her, she didn’t have leverage, she didn’t demand, she placed the invitation… so when her hands wrapped around her waist it was hard to do anything but melt.

It was a feeling she longed for over all else because it was a feeling so far from recent memory it almost seemed more like a dream or a vicarious experience, a warming, loving, intimate embrace, a lover’s embrace not a mistress’s or a one night stand’s – they were two very different feelings. The words only honeyed the long slip into fulfillment, Miranda had told her yesterday she was nothing special but a pretty face to Jack but she knew plenty pretty faces walked through this building and Miranda right now was telling her she was special and… incredible she was incredible to her. Today was anything but normal and never could be normal because Miranda was extraordinary and according to her she was incredible so how could it be? She wished this could be normal, wished embraces and kind words were normal, wished beautiful women and their company were hers, wished… well, as Miranda gave her-her ultimatum her wishes were made clear.

Not only did Meghan remain standing there but her initial stiff nervous sort of poster began to soften, eyes falling away with guilty acceptance. She knew it was wrong, she knew she shouldn’t be flirting, she shouldn’t be personal, she shouldn’t be melting in her arms and losing her breath and her face shouldn’t have been burning and… and she knew she was heavy in breath and she knew she was… particularly heavy hearted huff whistled through her nose – maybe one day Miranda would learn it was one of her little quirks, her whistling nose, if she was aroused and breathing deep or drifting off to a dream it was almost a certainty to begin.

Hot lips cushioned her neck a small wet expression of both seduction and that word she loved so much, intimacy that word she longed for so much and the feelings with it. They weren’t so different, they both were terribly lonely and looking out and off for someone to fill that void. It didn’t take Miranda to make her love a kiss on the neck, no, she’d loved them ever since her high school days hiding in locker bays with Parker sucking at her supple flesh, leaving new bruises over the fading old ones, giving her someone to smile about when she brushed her teeth in the cracked mirror over a long since yellowed porcelain sink that smelled of mildew and grime. That was Meghan’s life now and always had been medicating all life’s little trappings with the love or touch of a warm body – justifying the coping mechanism as healthier than others. Just for the kisses alone she was brought back to a far more vulnerable time and all of her feelings, all of those reservations and dismissals melted just like herself.

Meghan bit her lip and trembled, her face pulling wide as she felt Miranda’s tongue glide up the curve of her jawline, her lips tug and suckled at her love a small whimper wriggling about in her throat, it was hard not to just turn and become one with her, with the heat beginning to rise between her legs it became even more so, she nestled her cheek into the hand upon it while the other side of her face turned upward to give Miranda full access of all flesh from her nape to ear and the long slender side of her neck begging for another hot glisten of saliva to be left as the cool office’s air chilled the drying skin. “Oamhph…” she hummed with desire as her fingers began to tremble at her sides. “Miranda…” The woman whispered desperately as her hands tried to find themselves occupancy, there wasn’t much to find in the battle between posterity and desire however and she’d already lost that battle… or at least, she’d conceded.

It made her feel weak, it made her shameful, it made her more than disappointed in herself and it made her feel whole too – whole in the moment as one of her hands found Miranda’s on her waist and pulled it around her to the hem of her vest, shifted it slightly, found it spread along the bunching of sheer where her blouse tucked into her jeans it was like just a little heat was enough to turn Meghan into a complete lush… a rather vulnerable, needy, lush.

Her head turned, curled into her neck to part from Miranda’s lips. She warbled a little bit of insecurity out as she urged Miranda’s hand against her belt before turning and moving to kiss her back, nose flattening into Miranda’s cheek – a shaky hot breath rippling across the olive skin of her opposite as she hesitated feeling the few squat charms on her lonesome bracelet heating between her wrist and Miranda’s. “Miranda I-“ her words interrupted by a less than chaste kiss on her cheek, “I can’t…” and another slick with her saliva, “I really shouldn’t… I-“ a low moan as her nose dragged along Miranda’s cheek till it found her nose and pressed into it also her kisses finding the corner of Miranda’s lips “I’m your doc-hnngf… but I…” and she froze almost as if she was suffocated by her lies as her body folded slightly and shook, beginning to feel a spot between her legs grow more than just heated but now swollen… moist.

“Please.”
 
Intimacy took being vulnerable, having one without the other was impossible, the slightest attempt to hide your desires skewed it and so being intimate was no easy matter. For some it could be of course, for those who could handle whatever hurt came their way and easily shed it off. For people like Miranda who had a weak constitution for heartbreak and kept themselves guarded it was a much different stop, intimacy was a rarity. A few times in her life Miranda had managed to ignore the warnings and go with her heart, push down the wall and let someone in, and each time she had been further crushed, further jaded. The fact that she was doing so in front of Meghan was all the more difficult for her and no doubt someone who had read her as easily as Meghan could had already figured that out. No doubt Meghan was aware of her issues with opening up to others, not a hard conclusion considering her life, attitude, and recent actions. Miranda's nerves were flaring up, she didn't know how to handle herself as she awaited what her mind kept telling her would be the eventual rejection, her hands quivering slightly, her nervousness subtle but noticeable.

Yet nervous wasn't always a bad thing, in some cases it was more anticipation and hope in its own way, not a depressing vortex of self-loathing. In her current state of nervousness Miranda was hopeful, as much as he mind tried to dissuade her that a positive outcome was even possible her heart was pushing a different truth. Miranda, a name and most of the time simply a way that got her attention but when it was uttered from Meghan's lips it became something different. She found herself quivering in delight and her hands grabbed tighter, hugging Meghan to her, keeping the woman close and continuing to kiss at her supple flesh. When he hand was moved by the lovely woman it all became different though as it was not the movement to signal stopping but a movement that hinted towards what was to come, a movement that brought her closer to a most lovely place. It was sexual but the intimacy was there. It brought a smile to Miranda's face and she found herself turned on more than ever, though more than anything just holding Meghan was all Miranda really wanted, though there was more she would love to have even if holding her was completely satisfying.

The insecurity only brought a brighter smile to Miranda's face, it was adorable and she felt relieved that she wasn't the only one nervous, it also relieved some of her worries. There would be no insecurity or hesitation if Meghan wanted nothing to do with her and there was just enough to where Miranda felt it was going to be more than a simple one-time fling where she would get a cold shoulder the next day. Of course she could have been wrong, seeing what she wanted to see, but for the moment she didn't give a damn, especially when Meghan turned in her arms. When Meghan's lips met hers it was almost magical. It wasn't a terribly skilled kiss, that cute little nose was flattening against Miranda's cheek, but there was raw intimacy and Meghan was cute, enough to make it more satisfying than even the most skillful kiss. What came next was more of that proof Miranda liked to see, that hesitance that was contradicted by Meghan's actions. Then they all came crashing down, she didn't even finish trying to use being a doctor as a shield, she gave in to the same feeling that was driving Miranda, a curious desire to attempt something that felt bound to be special. For Miranda it felt like just what she needed, someone to care for and to be cared for by.

The word please was the pinnacle. It said enough to get what Meghan wanted across without having her actual admit it aloud, but Miranda didn't expect her to and she simply smiled, a mixture of her seductive arrogant smile and something just as genuine but in a softer way. It was that hint of the soft girl behind the confident woman she usually appeared to be. "The magic word... Just don't regret it, you've made your choice Meghan." There was still that tiny bit of desperation as if she was asking Meghan not to hurt her but it had a more literal point to it, that there was going to be no turning back, that she had serious feelings and was going to explore them. So her hand reached up and brushed the lovely cheek, leaning in and kissing her in a passionate manner. When she pulled back she took a moment, a took a breath and then smiled. Yet this smile transitioned, it was that sweet genuine at the start but it began to slowly change and she pushed Meghan back against the desk at the same time, sitting Meghan up on top of her desk while kissing her.

There was no roughness, no force or anger, she hadn't decided to ignore the feelings she was displaying but she knew what she wanted. "Meghan... Tell me something..." She began kissing down Meghan's neck, moving down to her collar and at that time beginning to remove the doctor's clothing as she began to leave a kiss mark on Meghan's lower neck, where most shirts could cover it. She paused, speaking again after forming a small little kiss mark, "You seemed to see through me from the beginning... And yet you've come this far..." She paused again, her hands exploring the surface of Meghan's clothing, the gorgeous tits and incredible body underneath a mystery Miranda yearned to explore. Yet her eyes locked with Meghan's eyes every time she pulled back, not a single time did she stare at her chest or body, even if it was a very desirable location for viewing pleasure. "So I'm assuming you know what kind of woman I am, what you've just gotten yourself into... It's too late to turn back but..." She couldn't finish, she wanted to ask Meghan not to hurt her but she couldn't, it was too pathetic and she felt a bit emotional, a struggle between the lust she felt and the need for an intimate connection where she was the center of attention, one of the things she needed badly. Miranda, while being able to manage her own company and life, needed someone to be intimate with, where she could be the woman she was, the difficult selfish woman and still be love and happy. So as she unclasped the lower segment of clothing she looked into Meghan's eyes, a look that spoke towards everything she was feeling.

After the moments of vulnerability Miranda turned her head for a moment, blushing with a look of something similar to shame on her face, a cute little blush of embarrassment as she bit her lower lip. That strength that had her looking into Meghan's eyes failed her for a moment but after she looked back up she leaned in and kissed Meghan, a powerful kiss that was basically just taking what she had just been trying to get across in a more elegant way. Then she leaned back, pulling Meghan from her seated position on the desk and turning her around, bending her over the desk moments later. Once again it was guided however, not forceful, even if part of her wanted to go rough and hard from the first encounter. The other side of her, the more loving side, had other plans however and without removing an article of clothing Miranda made it where she could get her hands down inside Meghan's pants, going down, slipping beneath her pants and very gently beginning to tease her. The other hand slid up beneath more pesky clothing and pulled Meghan close, the delicate hand brushing along the lovely skin and up towards the impeccable breasts that had most certainly had her attention. Yet this was no powerful or forceful scene, Miranda was being gentle, teasing, kissing at Meghan's neck and ears as her hands began teasing and taunting. Miranda was leaned over her focus, the gorgeous woman she had in her arms, and Miranda was bent over her, the body heat from Miranda, the frantic heartbeat. Then came a small whisper in Meghan's ear, that seductive quality to it as she kept her body pressed up against Meghan's, a little, "You're so beautiful escaping her lips as her hands just explored the beauty in front of her, in no rush as her fingers continued to tease.
 
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