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Save a horse, ride a Cowboy (Charliesweb7 & pnw2013)

He bellowed with laughter, "Well, little lady, where is your mind?" He couldn't stop laughing. He mocked her, "Seriously? 'Yeah, I need heart replacement surgery because my dick is hard and won't go down.'" He doubled over in laughter. "Ah," he sighed, collecting himself, "I guess it's true: virgins really do have the dirtiest minds."

He pulled into Fatboy's Burgers and Fries. It was a small-town diner that resembled a Streamliner. It had a small, gravel parking lot and a faded awning that he was pretty sure was put up in the 50s. The neon sign flickered as he turned off the car. He exited and opened her door. He helped her out and they walked inside. It had a very prominent 50s diner feel. The black-and-white checkerboard tile floor ran through the whole restaurant. There were red-cushioned booths along each wall, and barstools next to the servers. He led them to a two-person booth near the wall. It was remarkably clean for having such a homey feel. He credited it to small-town pride in their work.
 
"What? Am I wrong that "playing doctor" usually has the connotation that it sexual?" She told him. That is what happened in pron at least. She blushed a bit more as he laughed. "Well hey, You could have said you needed help jacking off!" She added. She then brushed her hair out of her face. She was far from innocent in her mind.

The restaurant reminded her of an old diner. She wondered if the waitresses had on skates or something like that. It was retro and she liked it. It was cute. She smiled as he opened her door, thanking him before going inside. And the inside matched the outside. She sat down at the booth, looking around. "This place looks like it has good milkshakes." She said.
 
"Well, if you feel you need to help me at any point, be my guest!" He replied to her.

He had picked the booth by the far wall so they could have a bit of privacy. He looked over the menu while she mentioned milkshakes. "You have to try them. They are amazing!" The waitress arrived with a smile on her face. She was wearing a red-and-yellow jumpsuit uniform, completing the 50s diner trifecta. Ben had ordered for the both of them, "Hi! We'll both have a Fatboy, a side of fries, a Coke, and a chocolate milkshake. And she'll have the same, unless you want something else?" He looked towards Katherine as she examined the menu.
 
She was looking over the menu, seeing many options for things. Lots of burger options with lots of toppings. And then lots of milkshakes. "Woah there Ben..." She replied. She never did like anyone ordering for her. "Let me take a minute..." She said. She ended up ordering a cheeseburger with grilled onions and jalapenos. Then there was a mixture of onion rings and fries. And then finally a cookies and cream milkshake. She then looked to Ben. "That sounded the best to me." She replied with a smile.
 
"Alright, that'll be right out" the waitress replied with a smile. She then left for the kitchen to turn in her order slip. Ben looked into Katherine's eyes, giving a playfully disappointed look, "You're gonna regret that order. You should've got the Fatboy. It is literally the greatest burger you will ever bite into." He shrugged his shoulders, it wasn't that big of a deal, he just wanted her to try the hometown specialty. "Suit yourself," he teased her.
 
"It is essentially the same thing. Excuse me for wanting to spice up my life." She teased him. She liked things spicy. She then adjusted on the seat. "You can have a bite of mine and you will see how amazing it is." She joked, smiling at him. "So is this far away from your house?" She asked. She didn't even know how big this town was. She had explored a lit of Texas....just the big cities was all.
 
He shrugged again, "Whatever you say. You'll still regret it. You'll be on your death bed, wondering, 'Why did I never choose the Fatboy when I had the chance?'" He mocked her in his best old man accent. He giggled to himself. "From here, the farm is only about..." He thought out the distance in his head, "Maybe...ten minutes down the road, thataway." He pointed south. "It's actually really close by, we could definitely make this a regular thing if you wanted," he offered. "But," he started teasing, "you'll have to make it worth my while." He gave a sly wink as the waitress arrived, giving Jatherine her milkshake and Ben his milkshake and Coke.
 
Katherine rolled her eyes at him. "I think I will live just well and fine. And I bet you it will still be a damn good burger." She told him. She watched as he pointed away from the table. "Oh so rather close." She told him. Being a treat every once in a while would be nice. She arched her brows at him. "Oh? And how can I make it worth your while?" She asked, thanking the waitress. She scooped up a little whipped cream and licked her finger before eating the cherry on top. So she wasn't prim and proper 24/7.
 
He stared at her while she licked the whipped cream off her finger. "Well, depending on what you can do with that cherry stem, I have a few ideas." He said, attempting his most sensual voice. He unwrapped a straw and started sipping his Coke. He then plucked the cherry from his milkshake and bit, leaving only the stem. "Wanna see who can tie their cherry stem in a knot first?" He challenged her.
 
Katherine rolled her eyes once again at him. "Oh now look who is hitting on me once again." She teased. She then looked down at the cherry stem. "I can't even do that!" She replied to him. She had no idea how to even possibly do that. Katherine couldn't unwrap a starburst either with her tongue.
 
He had completely ignored her, "One, two, three, go!" He threw the stem in his mouth and furiously tried to bend it. He moved it all around his mouth, trying to use his teeth as leverage. How did people do this?, he thought. To him, this was harder than his chemistry exam way back when. His eyes contorted into a focused smirk, all his attention and brainpower focused solely on trying to tie the cherry stem into a knot.

He thought he had almost had it when the stem fell back into his throat and lodged itself there. He jumped, thinking he was choking. He started coughing and gagging, eventually turning away from her and facing towards the floor before reaching a finger in to pry it out. He brushed it with his finger, prying it loose as he gasped, reappearing with tears nearly in his eyes. "Let's pretend that never happened." He begged of her.
 
Katherine put the stem in her mouth, trying to do it. How the hell did anyone do this? She got it bent in half...but that was it. And then before she knew it, he was choking! She spit out her stem and moved to stand up, almost knocking over the milkshakes. But by the time she came up behind him, he was done. She inhaled a deep breath. "You scared me!" She replied to him. She had been a lifeguard so she knew how to help him. "God, I was scared..." She told him.
 
"Believe me, I was too." He stated. He was surprised by how fast she reacted. "But thank you, for trying to help me so quickly." He mustered up a quick smile before noticing that the entire restaurant was looking at him concertedly. He turned bright red, and said to the entire restaurant, "It's ok! I'm fine! Nobody worry, it's cool!" His quick, nervous laughs turned into groans as he buried his head into his milkshake, covering his face in shame.
 
Katherine felt her heart rate calming down, now returning to normal. "I have been a lifeguard for years. Just a reflex." She replied to him. She looked around to see the restaurant was looking around as well. And Ben was embarrassed. It happened to everyone though. "Suffice to say, neither of us can tie a knot in a cherry stem." She joked, taking a sip of her milkshake.
 
He felt his cheeks hot and red, and he almost wanted to disappear. "I guess that means neither of us are very good kissers," he joked with her. The waitress arrived with their plates in hand. She set down Katherine's plate first, then Ben's. As she set down his plate, she placed a hand on his back, asking him if he was alright. He answered that he was, and politely waved her off.

The Fatboy was a half-pound meat patty with cheddar and pepper jack cheese. It had a barbecue marinade on the outside and had slices of bacon grilled into the patty. It was topped with tomato, lettuce, bacon, and an onion ring. Finally, two bakery buns held the giant burger together. It was served with at least three handfuls of fries.
 
Katherine laughed softly. "I think we could only make that determination ourselves honestly." She replied to him. Her burger was the same except without bacon on top or an onion ring, it had grilled onion and jalapenos. "It smells so good." She whispered to him.She noticed the thing was too big to get into her mouth so she cut it in half for the moment.
 
In stark contrast to Katherine, Ben attempted to cram the burger into his maw any way he could. He was quite the messy water, but he loved the juiciness of it. He tried to be slightly civilized, however. He used a napkin to wipe his face and his hands, but still insisted on stuffing his face. He had already embarrassed himself plenty today, what did he care if he ate a little messy?
 
Katherine noticed how he seemed to chow down on the burger right away. She looked to him, a little surprised before she took a bite of her burger. It really was amazing! She was eating a lot of food she had really never eaten or rarely eaten at home. It was amazing. But she hoped she didn't gain weight. "This is really good." She replied to him.
 
He gave her a playful look, "Told you. See, you need to start trusting me a lot more. I know it's hard to conceive, but I am actually pretty right on a lot of things." He teased. They talked and he flirted the entire meal. They even shared bites of their burgers. He decided to be romantic and put two straws in his milkshake and point the other one towards her face, hoping she would get the joke and play along. He sat with his hands under his chin, posing as if he were a dainty girl staring at a crush.
 
"Oh because you are just oozing modest Ben." She replied to him. During the meal he flirted a lot. And she would blush but it didn't seem like she was flirting as much back. She was just being cautious was all. They shared a few bites of their burgers, her commenting he took a much bigger bite. She then looked at him as he out two straws in. "Why would I want your backwash?" She teased, leaning in and taking a sip. She was really having a great time.
 
"Because my backwash tastes delicious," he teased. After they had finished, they sat back in their chairs, completely full from the meal. The waitress had arrived asking if they were both do e with their meals. Ben confirmed, and asked for the check. The waitress said it would be right out as she removed their plates and empty glasses. Ben leaned over to her and told her, "This is all on me. Like I said before, Fatboy's virgins don't pay. That way, they get the full experience." He reminded her as he pulled out his wallet.
 
By the time they were finished, she was stuffed. But she had a feeling somehow she would be craving fair food later. And then regret it in the morning. She was ready to pull out her wallet when he spoke. "That is unfair. At least let me pay part of it?" She asked. That was her. She was just so used to paying for almost everything.
 
"No, no, no," he refused, "it's my treat to you. If you wanna give me a peck on the cheek as payment, that's all up to you." He joked. The waitress had returned with the checkbook. He slid in his debit card and signed the receipt. When she returned he handed it back to her and laid back once more, feeling quite lazy and gluttonous after their meal.
 
"Well thank you." She replied. Once he signed the check, she noticed that he laid back. "Is the fair in only tonight? Maybe we should go like tomorrow night or Next Sunday?" She asked. She wondered if he was as tired as she was from the lake. Probably being in the sun a lot worn them out.
 
"Well, it's open until tomorrow night, but we have work to do that day." He noticed he was slouched over, and probably looked tired. "Oh, I'm not too tired to go tonight, I'm just letting my stomach settle. Why? Did you want to go home already?" He hoped dearly that she hadn't wanted to call it a night just yet. He had planned this for a few days now, and he didn't want this chance to pass him by.
 
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