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To Return Once More

Datenshi

Super-Earth
Joined
Jan 11, 2012
Location
WA, USA
Well, here I am again... back on Blue Moon. I feel bad because I know I keep dropping off the face of the earth. Crap happens in real life and I find myself either too busy or too stressed to focus on writing. I know this hit-and-miss activity must make anyone who wants to RP with me absolutely nuts.

I was just looking over some of the other threads on here and couldn't help but to think about what my own journal would look like, if I chose to keep one. So I figured "hey, why not start one?" Maybe this will be the one thing I can keep going.

Today, as I start to try to revive my activity on Blue Moon once more, I can't help but to ask myself why I keep coming back here. I mean, I basically have to keep my presence on here a secret from everyone I know, so logically, maybe that means I should be doing something else.

Not that I have ever been extremely logical. XD

But back to being serious, I couldn't help but to think of when I first showed up here on Blue Moon, almost over a year ago now. (Or maybe it's been over a year at this point. Too lazy to go look.) I really have surprised myself with how far I have come since joining this site.

When I first showed up here, I had never even involved myself in anything sexual with anyone. I didn't know what I was doing and, honestly, felt very awkward about even being here. But, even with that, my first RP partner was so patient with me. She didn't seem to mind my inexperience or awkwardness and just wanted to have fun.

Since then, I have roleplayed with a lot of different people, and found that I have a knack for picking up different styles pretty quick. (Though I never could get the dominant persona down... maybe it's just because that's the way I am in real life...) People who roleplayed with me seemed to really enjoy it and I got a lot of requests; basically to the point of overwhelming myself.

I think I freaked out at this point and tried to back away from the site. In hindsight, I blame my anxiety problems... they make me a little irrational sometimes. But I keep poking my head back in here. Like I am now. :)

Anyway... forgive my rambling. I guess I just wanted to get my thoughts down and reflect on my time here.

To anyone who actually read this all the way through? I appreciate it. The fact that you would take the time to read the words of a stranger who you have nothing to do with warms my hearts.

And to those who didn't (and might have just skipped to this point), that's okay too. I know I talk a lot and sometimes, it really doesn't mean much. Bad habit.

I'll probably post in here again at some point... when my head is full of thoughts and I just feel like letting it do the typing. :heart:
 
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