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My Written Word

Tathariel

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Joined
Jan 31, 2009
Hmmm.....Im not sure where to really start.

What I say here I dont mind people knowing, but if we ever find ourselves in an argument, dont use anything you happen to see agianst me. I will not be happy with you. This journal is going to jump around quite a bit, I think Ill start off by describing myself, or how I see my self. Ill be honest about it, and I wont try to make myself look like something Im not. I think that if people are going to be reading my journal, its better if they know whats going on in my head, so they could better understand whatever I happen to be writing about.

Well, I suppose I'll tell a bit about myself.
My real name is Richie Rosario Sevillano.
I'm the youngest of 6 children, all boys.
My father took off when I was a baby, and My mother pretty much raised me by herself.
My Auntie and Uncle helped a great deal also, they mean a lot to me.


Personality wise, I could go on a lot. I don't really think like a normal person, due to various experiences I've had.
I prefer to relax and be in a constant state of chill. (sorry if that confused you)
When working or doing something I try to do everything at my best, so I only have to do it once and not redo it. That way I can relax some more. lol
I tend to view the world in shades of grey. I know that even when you think your doing the right thing, there is always another darker reason behind it.
I generally am a quiet guy, though I do get loud on occasion.
I dont like people who are always loud, or who are rude. That's one of my pet peeves I guess.
When I am with a group of people, I tend to divide my time between conversation, and observation. I could watch people talk and do things for hours. I happen to find it fascinating. When I am interested in someone, I make it a point to remember things about them, body language, habits, quirks, ect.
Injustice and Cruelty offend me very much. I tend to get very emotional depending on the situation.


Normally I like to be around people, and I dont tend to function well when I am by myself. I guess I cant stand being alone with my thoughts all the time, but sometimes I have to be by myself, I just get the urge to be alone, and get irritated if anyone tries to bother me. I call them my Alone Jaunts. When I get like this, the only thing you will hear from my apartment is usually music. I usually wont answer the door, unless I know for a fact that I have to anwser the door because its concerning life or death, or some thing of equal gravity. People have come to my door, knocked, and have watched me look at them through the window, then have their jaws drop in amazement when I get up and put the blinds down with out saying a word. They try to call. My phone usually gets thrown in a drawer on silent.
The need to be alone just takes over. I have....I need....to be away from the world. Away from the craziness. The chaos. The things that don't make any sort of sense. The things that keep you up at night when your alone. I cant help when it comes, or how long it lasts. I become withdrawn, passive to most things, and unable to have any type of in-depth conversation. Usually after a two days or so, it passes, and I go out and be with people to get back in the rythym of things.

Also, when I say alone, I dont mean I'm always by myself. I dont mind if whoever I happen to be in a relationship is with me. Actually I prefer it. I'm still be very quiet and passive, but I guess I get very.....I cant find the right word. I wouldn't call it clingy, because I won't complain if they leave or dont want to be around, nor am I....really Physical????...I mean I don't get sexual....basically, I have whoever it is with me, and if I have my way, I'm just laying or sitting with my head on your lap or shoulder. I want your arms around me, and mine around you. I need able to smell your hair, and feel how smooth your skin is. Feel the warmth of your body, radiating through your clothes into my body. Be able to look into your eyes. Able to hear your voice. Able to look at you and take my mind off of everything that troubles me.
The thing is, most women dont understand. During these jaunts, most get freaked out, and assume that she did something wrong, and will bother the fuck out of me till I get mad. I'll sometimes try to explain (if I'm explaining this to you, then know that I defiantly feel something for you and your not just some fucking distraction for me), and they end up thinking that I'm feeling guilty about something, because why could I possibly want to be alone this bad, and I end up getting mad and telling them to get the fuck out. Like I said, I can get very irritable when this happens.

I usually have a very serious demeanor, or so I'm told. I dont think that but than again, :lol: I cant stare at my own face all day. :cool:
I'm rather tall, and look built. I like to think I am decent looking. I know that I'm no Brad Pitt, but at least everything looks normal, you know?
I do however sometimes, find myself looking in the mirror,and wishing that I looked better, more handsome if you will.
I think its funny, and at the same time, kinda pathetic. Sometimes I think I can see right through myself. Sometimes I don't like what I see.

Music.....I love music. Music is one of the best things that get me out of one of my Alone Jaunts.
Music is life. It encompasses all off human emotions, and all of lives situations. You could find a song for every moment in your life if you thought about it. lol
Lets see, at this very moment, the song that comes to my mind is Only by Nine Inch Nails. Why you wonder??? Because at the moment I am writing about me. My head is not concerned with others, but with the act of writing down who I am.
I believe that anyone who loves music has some worth to them.
If your ever interested, feel free to talk music to me sometime. I'd be glad to expand my knowledge.

Thats it for now.
 
Sunday night.

Its funny, you know.
The things a person thinks about in the middle of the night.

Things you barely remember come rushing back in an onslaught of though and emotions.
Friends, enemies, family, events. It all plays back sooner or later.

Past Decisions, what would have happened if you, or someone else made that "other choice"
Your secret regrets, the ones that you hide deep in your soul, and try to use your everyday life as a distraction, a barrier to keep them hidden.

When we die, and we get that moment where we "see our life flash before our eyes", will we be satisfied with what we see?, or will we regret it, and die with anger in our heart. No peace filled Oblivion. No pearly gate. Just anger and disappointment at the things you couldn't control, the things you couldn't have.
Pshhht...fuck it you know? I can't control how people feel about me, nor the past decisions I already made. Still, when I think about some of things that have happened. I get so mad.
So bitter. Its like, why?, you know? What the fuck was the point??? Why try when you had so many doubts? Why do this to ourselves. How could you have done it to me?
Did I really deserve this? The way I was treated? Why make all these promises? Just to watch me fall? Why pull me so far away, just to watch me drop? Did you like seeing me broken? Was that your goal the whole time?

The spider and the Fly. That seems to sum up what it was. You caught me, and when I struggled, you simply watched. When I finally gave up, you killed me.

YOU BITCH.....LOL :lol:
I forgave you a long time ago though.


Sleep calls. The bed looks so messy, yet inviting.
Sleep. The only time, when I know that Life isn't real. When your mind surrenders to the darkness, and your thoughts and dreams turn into your reality.
People report having dreams about flying. An urban myth is that if your flying in your dream, but you suddenly start to fall toward the earth, you die. Most people report waking up before they hit the ground. I wonder. :shock: AHHHH Theres this badass movie called Sublime.....its fucking trippy! Thats where the dream falling thing comes from.
 
It started with a low light,
Next thing I knew they ripped me from my bed;
And then they took my blood type,
It left a strange impression in my head.
You know that I was hoping,
That I could leave this star-crossed world behind;
But when they cut me open,
I guess I changed my mind.
And you know I might
Just walk too far from the floor this time,
'Cause they calling me by my name!
And the shimmering white lighting
Disregards the bombs and satellites!

That was the turning point;
That was one lonely night!

The song maker says, "It ain't so bad"
The dream maker's going make you mad
The spaceman says, "Everybody look down!
It's all in your mind!"

Well now I'm back at home, and-
I'm looking forward to this life I live;
You know it's gonna haunt me,
So hesitation to this life I give.
You think you might cross over,
You're caught between the devil and the deep blue sea;
You better look it over,
Before you make that leap!

And you know I'm fine, but I hear those voices at night
Sometimes... they justify my claim,
And the public don't ground my transmission
'Cause it wasn't televised...

Oh, it was the turning point,
It was the lonely night!

The song maker says, "It ain't so bad"
The dream maker's going make you mad;
The spaceman says, "Everybody look down!
It's all in your mind!"

The song maker says, "It ain't so bad"
The dream maker's going make you mad;
The spaceman says, "Everybody look down!
It's all in your mind!"

My global position systems are vocally addressed;
They say the Nile used to run from east to west,
They say the Nile used to run... from east to west.

The song maker says, "It ain't so bad"
The dream maker's going make you mad;
The spaceman says, "Everybody look down!
It's all in your mind!"
The song maker says, "It ain't so bad"
The dream maker's going make you mad;
The spaceman says, "Everybody look down...
It's all in your mind!"
It's all in my mi-i-ind,
It's all in my mind...
It's all in my mind...
It's all in my mind...
It's all in my... mind
 
hmmm....so today started out a pretty good day for the most part.....the only bad thing that fucked it up happed near the end of work. I was cleaning up the treatment rooms, and had popped back into my screening room to check my e-mail. I was clicking around and noticed my AHLTA was blinking (ALTAH is the program that the hospital uses to check in/check out/organize patients). I clicked on it and discovered I had 2 more patients to screen.

I was irritated. There are not suppoust to be any walk ins after 11 am. Everything after needs an appointment. Anyway, I looked for the reason why they were here. Sometimes its a Physical, other times its just a check up, sometimes they need a wart removed or something. Anyway, when I looked the reason said "scan"......

Now, no one reading would understand what the implications of that word were when I read it. I'll tell you. The hospitol uses the word "scan" when your dealing with abused patients, I'm work in Pediactricts , meaning these are abused kids I'm about to see. My first ones, so I'm feeling a little freaked out. I got up, cleaned my room a bit, and walked out to get them.

In the waiting area, there was 2 MPs(military police), a chaplain (whos like a military priest) and mother with one of her eyes blacked up, and 3 kids. The oldest no older than 3 or 4.
2 of them were fucked up looking, bruises and yellowing marks, all around their faces. The 3 year old boy smiled at me, when I offered him some toys to keep him occupied I saw that one of his front teeth were gone.

I quietly told them who I was, and what I was going to do, and brought them all back to my screening room, where I had to take all their vitals. Because their younger, our procedures are diffrent when taking vitals, and their shirts had to come off.

Same shit.

I actually closed my eyes and sat there for a-bit, not really sure if I was seeing what my eyes told me I was seeing. Only when one of the kids actually giggled, did I open them. I was surprised that one of these kids could actually laugh. I remember from her vitals that she was only 28 months old. 28 months.
I got their vitals, and did a couple more things, then had to help the actual doctor take pictures and document all the bruises, and marks. After we finished the kids, the mother was treated at the adult clinic next to us.

I was talking with the chaplain, whose also my chaplain cause we're both catholics and eventually asked what the hell happened. Being a chaplain he couldn't tell me much details, but basically the kids father, whose a fucking E7, had apparently gotten mad at them for being loud, and then proceeded to correct them. The mom came home later, and saw the kids, and when she confronted him, he apparently went apeshit on her too. Someone heard the screaming and the MPs showed up.

I hope that fucker goes to fuckin FT. Leavenworth. The Army Prison. Its not a fucking prison for civilians, If your military, and you fuck up bad, you go there. Civilian convicts still have rights. Federal convicts are treated a thousand times worse than any crazy prison warden could up. Guarded by men who wont get in trouble if they fuck you up, or shoot you, and doing hard labor all day, your life is a living hell. Which is what people like the guy who did this to his wife and kids deserve.

So, men and women of Bluemoon, if you happen to be one of the kind of people who thinks its ok to beat on your significant other or kids who cant fight back, (because yes, women do it too), your gonna burn in whatever kind of hell you think exists. and even if you think it does not exist, remember that A LOT of people would like nothing more than to kill you if they found out.

So that was my day.
 
it sucked.....as soon as we were done with them, all my co-workers just kinda stood around for a minute and didnt say anything. After a little while, we all just kinda nodded at each other, then grabbed our stuff and left home for the day.
 
Howdy Bluemoon.

So it snowed all day today, but we only got about 4 inches of snow. Bleh. I also got stuck on snow duty, which I actually didn't mind.
It felt good you know? It really did, having a blank mind, filled with music coming from my I-pod, just totally (mentally) out of it, doing some mindless physical work.

Try it once in a while Bluemoon. Just pick something that takes physical effort, but no mental effort. Raking leaves or something. IDK :D.........
Guess its hard to understand.

Anyway after snow duty, I went inside, and pretty much waited around for lunch. Thursday morning are technically training time, so soldiers dont have to see patients until 1 in the afternoon. About 20 minutes before lunch was supposed to start, my sergeant showed up and told me that I needed to get ready to leave.

I was like "whats up", and he said, "you and Handsen there are gonna go with one of the paramedics and help a soldier get into her apartment." Hansen and I were like WTF?
So anyway, long story short, after a 30 minute drive, carrying a big ass whining black sergant on a spine board up 5 floors of stairs (no elevator in her apt) and waiting another 30 minutes for her kid to get home cause he had the housekey, Hansen and I got to have lunch. It tasted very good.

Nothing really noteworthy happened today that I can recall, and I don't really feel like I have anything to get off my chest.
I guess I just wanted to give people a glimpse into one of my more ordaniary days. Night everyone!!!
 
Continuing on......I shall give you a glimpse on what happens on an average night out on the weekend.

Usually my friends and I will head out around 830/900. We either walk or catch a cab down to a "district" called Itewon. Its basically bars and clubs and resturants more aimed at serving foreigners, but plenty of Koreans go there too.

SOOO...usually we go to this bar called the Goldfish. Its run by this older Philliipeno lady and her cousins and nieces. There we usually pick up a Soju Kettle or two, and I always drink a San Miguel-Pale. We just bullshit about the week, and try to relax. Last night, we went, (just Hallmark and I) and kicked it there for about two hours, splitting a soju kettle between us.......Its a freaking huge container about the size of a gallon. Its pretty much kool-aid mixed with alcohol. But it tastes great.

Anyway, we hang out there and talk to some people. We usually try to wait to see if a certain song comes on the speakers.....remember the "cha-cha slide" lol???
Yeah the one that got played at homecomming and stuff at highschool. We usually get like five or six guys to all get up and dance the entire song lol.
Here is video to help you picture what it looks like.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZv62ShoStY[/youtube]

Retarded, I know, but fun. lmao

Anyway, after downing a few drinks, we either head out to a club or go to this place called Roofers....Roofers is a pretty kick ass hookah bar. enough said about that lol.
Different clubsss.....hmm...theres the HIVE, (got the bartenders number there), Wolfhounds (european place), ISPY (good for techno, and remixed pop music and pool)
Theres more, but I dont remember them off the top of my head.

The streets in Itewon are all filled with vendors selling everything from socks to veggie pizza. Its awsome.
Actually last night, I had bought some meat on a stick and a veggie pizza, and turned around to see this skinny ass Korean guy just beating the crap out of these other 2 Korean guys....hes slapping them, and knocking them down and kicking them and stuff...and I was like WTF??? Anyway, I was content to watch for a bit, but it started getting really bad, like hospital visit bad, I turn around to see if the girl I was with was seeing this (the bartender I got the number from actually), and when I looked back, I saw Hallmark like right in the middle of it trying to break it up, so then I was like FUCK, and dropped my food and walked over. All I did was grab one guy around the neck, and shove the other one who was fighting on the ground, and stuck my knee on his chest to make sure he wasn't going to try to keep fighting. (mind you these were the 2 getting beat up) Hallmark then shoves the other guy out onto the street and is like ONYA (no in korean), that guy takes off, and I let the other 2 up....They actually thanked us, and we left them. (turns out they were drunk as fuck, and tried cutting a line for some food. the other guy was drunk also and didn't appreciate someone trying to get in front of him. lol....after that Hallmark and I ended up at this gay bar, where they were having bingo night. This tall ass drag queen was calling out numbers right, and we walked in and sat and ordered some beers. We starting at the drag queen(cause she was calling out numbers) and she notices us. First she says is, "omg, your teeth are so white...." Hallmark and I look at each other and we were both like "WAT" , we look back up and then she was like making very umm....gay comments. Hallmark was like "hey! are you talking to me!?!?!?!" and she was actually lol, and Hallmark was like WTF, lol and the drag kept saying stuff, and Hallmark was yelling and laughing and shit like "STFU LOL IM NOT GAY" he actually did start to get kinda pissed cause she was drunk and kept saying stuff. Another few guys hit on him, but he managed to politely decine all of them lol. He was freaking out though lmao, "Im not cute!!!! I look like a skinhead!!!! Skinny pale white guy!!!!
But the others in the bar told people to knock it off so it was all cool. did.

After we went to this place called ISPY, and it was nice. It kinda had a rave feel to it, a little grunge, but good music still. We pretty much just kicked it, got my ass kicked in some pool (by Hallmark and the bartender), and danced till like 430 am. Then Maria (bartender) and I went to Tomntoms ( a coffee shop) and bought coffee and talked for bit, while I waited for the gates on post to open up.

After 5 rolled around we both left and I went to sleep. lol

it was a fun night.....(Hallmark didnt think it was as much fun lmao.)

Tommorow Im going snowboarding, and if I survive Ill write about it.
Night!
 
18048_1213061727481_1256920967_30523797_7646347_n.jpg


I just had to post this..lmao....Someone here should get it.
 
Hmmmmm......Ill tell you what I think about the chat.

When I picture the chat

the closest thing I can get to is this....
DSC_0238-pd-living-room.jpg


when Im trying, I picture everyone just kinda sitting around or standing up.

Even when MM is around I can see a Narwal hanging out in the corner with a drink in front of it.

lol
 
I know what you're thinkin'
We were goin' down
I could feel us sinkin'
But then I came around

And everyone I've loved before
Flashed before my eyes
And nothin' mattered anymore
I looked into the sky

Well I wanted something better man
I wished for something new
And I wanted something beautiful
I wished for something true
Been lookin' for a reason man
Something to lose

When the wheels come down
When the wheels touch ground
And you feel like it's all over
There's another round for you
When the wheels come down

I know your head is spinnin'
Broken hearts will mend
This is our beginning
Comin to an end

Well, you wanted something better man
You wished for something new
Well, you wanted something beautiful
Wished for something true
Been lookin for a reason man
Something to lose

When the wheels come down
When the wheels touch ground
And you feel like it's all over
There's another round for you
When the wheels come down
Oh!

Pretty much what comes to my mind when I think of why I joined the service. Wanted something better, which I got, plenty to lose too lol.
Sometimes I totally hate the army, but deep down I know I love it. I couldnt see myself being anything other than what I am right now. lol, now all I need is someone to share it with lmao.
 
I made my slow way home
Limping on broken bones
Out of the thickest pine
Across the county lines
On to your wooden stairs
I own a sinners heart
I know the rain falls hard
I know the currency
I know the things you'll need
I hope he hears my prayers
I see you cut your hair
I know the saving type
But, Jesus I've fallen
I don't mind the rain if
I meet my maker
I'll meet my maker clean
But, Jesus the truth is
I've struggled so hard to believe
I'll meet my maker
I'll need my maker
To cure of my doubting blood
And drain me of the sins I love
And take from me my disbelief
I know it should come easily
But it remains inside of me
It battles and devours me
It cuddles up the side of me
And whispers it convinces me I'm right.


Another weekend passed by, and another starts. techinically its wed but I had a 4 day weekend lol. meh, too exausted to give a real entry. Ill do one tommorow night.
 
So I never ended up actually writing in this during this last week. :p my bad.

So, anyway. Nothing really interesting happened this last weekend.

I dont know if Ive ever said anything, but I'm doing EFMB training at the moment. EFMB (expert field medical badge) is basically a badge that says your one of the best and you know your shit. My First Sergeant and Commander picked myself and 3 others to do this training, and the competition is in may. I like the training I guess, but I guess I just dont give a damn about the badge. Firstly after working 10 hours a day, I have to go and do an additional 2 hours training for this badge, plus 8 mile ruck marches 3 days a week in the mornings before work. FUCK....I just hate having to do all the extra bullshit. Like I said before, I like to relax as much as I can. lol even though its a volunteer program....I was actually volun-told to do this.

On, a brighter note, I'm connecting with someone that I didn't think I would get the chance to. lol, Good feelings all around because of that.

Actually, right now, I'm getting all my stuff for Snowboarding together. Gonna end up leaving at like 0445, and most likely not get back till around 2000, so dont expect me around all day. It'll be nice to unwind and cut loose again. Nothing better simple physical exertion to relieve stress.

Korea's been good to me so far, but I'm actually expecting something bad to happen sooner or later. I dunno lol, I try to avoid trouble, but it tends to follow my friends and I. Lol, last night we were out drinking and dancing and we also watched a few live bands at a bar for a while ( koreans can fucknig play!), and ended up staying out past curfew. Gates close at 3, and stay closed till 5.....SOLUTION??? Got to the Korean version of Starbucks, (open 24/7) and order some coffee, then pass out at a table or booth for a few hours. Done that a few times now. The waitresses know my name lol , and I know the night crew that works there, lol Chan-sook and Ha-nuel work the register and help make coffee, and Mi-sun always just makes coffee and cleans tables and stuff, they dont mind as long as we're quiet. and Ive actually danced with Ha-nuel at a club nearby once. LOL, drunk as fuck, trying to sip coffee, all 3 of us ended up falling asleep in the booth foor like 2 hours. When we woke up , our coffee was cold, but still there. We all kinda woke up a bit, still drunk, but not as bad, downed the cold coffee....(it was still good) and walked back to base after pausing to grab some posters hanging around Itaewon. It was a good night! :-D

hahahahha
Snowboarding agian at Phoenix park is gonna be awesome. Ive managed to get 4 guys along with my friend Maria to go, and we're gonna be there all day. Its gonna be good.

Alright, thats it for now.
 
So....This weekend was very very good, but suddenly I'm feeling down. Sitting up late at night, thoughts flowing through my head not being able to sleep does that to a person.

I swear, I'm slowly falling in love with this country. People are great, food is wonderful. Surprisingly diverse and populated. I met 2 guys from Nigeria snowboarding today, and another guy from Australia, and just boarded with them all day, along with Hallmark and Maria. Fell more times than I can count, but I still had so much fun.

Its nice, and even though I know that sooner or later its going to end, I can't help but wish it won't.
Its really easy to connect to people here, but I'm starting to feel really hesitant about getting close to certain people.
Sounds cowardly, I know, but put yourself in my shoes.

Days just kind of slip by without me noticing. Seems like yesterday, I was on a plane leaving WA, and landing in Korea.
The bus ride from the airport, seeing familiar faces at reception.
I remember the first girl I slept with here. Pretty much hung out all the time for 2 weeks straight. She was here when I got off work, and I'd walk down to where she worked in the mornings, going to work myself. Shes gone now. Been gone for 2 months. I think I talked to her once since she left?

Wake up, go to work, get off, work out. Day in and Day out.
Army keeps me running like a well oiled machine. Every day is exactly the same.
Weekend comes, drink to relieve the stress, and forget my situation.
Smoking helps during the days, and slowly but surely, I've begun to find myself drinking a bit when I get off work.
Usually just with my roommate, but still.
Messing around on Bluemoon helps, but not enough. IM's with friends helps forget whats going on for the moment, but as soon as the screen closes, it's the same thing agian.

Starting to be scared to even begin to try to get close to people now.
It's not a matter of getting what I want from them, but what I need.


I don't want to end up that old guy, who finds himself in a place where no one knows him when he's older. Souvenirs scattered around his house, but no one to remember with him.
I know sounds like a bunch of BAWL, but it freaks me out.

Trying to find more and more distractions. X-box worked for a while, can't keep finding books I'm interested in. Running helps, but the distraction only lasts for a few hours before I'm too tired to keep going.

Church is starting to feel like a joke. Your not supposed to wonder why the fuck you exist, when your kneeling in front of the altar, accepting communion.
Drinking the wine while filled with doubt. Getting up to sing with everyone, staring at the book of songs I'm holding in front of me, wondering if the Father ever doubts what he does for a living. Feels wrong as fuck.

God, I need to smoke.

Night
 
Alright!

So, I dont feel like writing in blue today, so Im gonna write in.......this random color!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, lets review!

Been a crazy week so far.

Wednsday, there was a big bus overturn, and I ended up overseeing as triage officer. Yay!, fucking disorganized and hectic as fuck, (fucking army), running low on supplies and staff, but in the end, no one died. so yay.

Today there was a blackout that affected the entire hospital, and only the most important rooms were powered (ER, OR, shit like that), this blackout lasted 3 fucking hours.
During which I was still screening and treating patients in the dark. Fucking insane lmao, ever try giving someone an I.V holding a needle in one hand, trying to stabalize their arm in the other, with a flashlight in your mouth???? Fucking insane lmao. It was very intresting though, It happend right after the shift change, and almost everyone had left the hospital, (skeleton crew only), I was there checking expired supplies, and got dragged to the ER, where everybody ended up going. Got off like an hour or so ago, nothing like a 14 hour shift to get you nice and awake right???

On a brighter note! Called up a friend, met her at the subway station, went out, had a great badass dinner and walked around this place called DongDe-Moon, its amazing. So many people, so many diffrent stores. Everything you could think of is right there. Washington ppl, imagine downtown Seattle, near the ferry right?, imagine that, packed with people, walking in the sidewalks, streets, and 4 times the amount of stores. its like that.

hmmm....cant really think of anything else to say! Koreas kickass. Got a 2 week field exercise comming up next saturday though, thats gonna suck, so heres apologies in advance.
 
I'm twisted.

I was half in love with her by the time we sat down. That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they're not much to look at, or even if they're sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are.
 
So.....I have not had the chance to write in this in a long time.
Actually I have barely had the time to even check the site.

You would be surprised at the things that can happen in 3 months or so.
Lets recap shall we?

Just living your life in Korea.
Training every other day.
Finding out the girl you've been seeing for the past few months is pregnant
More training
Freaking out
Training in the morning
Accepting the fact that you screwed up and stepping up
Training in the evening
Talking and talking about random stuff and being together whenever you have the time
Training in the middle of the night
Deciding to keep it
Training on the weekends
Getting your shit together
Resting from training
Planning on random stuff
Packing to go train
Picking out a ring
Training
Managing to get her fathers number (harder than you would think)
Working in the ER
Waiting till the weekend to go out to the bar, knock a few back, and calling her dad slightly drunk but getting lucky cause he didn't notice. (true story, I was there)
Going to work with a hangover
Telling you mom what you did
Running 12 miles a morning
Getting chewed out by your mom, but she accepts it
Going to work tired
Proposing (she said yes)
Getting ready to work agian


So for those who were interested, thats whats been happening with me.
If your gonna criticize me and call me an idiot, dont waste your time.
 
Herroooo~

So just living life in the army. My relationship with Sam is going fine and steady, lol.
Anyway, just working, I've decided to participate in an Army Program that has to do with college classes. I can take these things called Klep Classes? Not really sure how thats suppoust to work, lol. It basically lets me knock out all my core classes pretty quickly through tests and such. I'm hoping to get my degree in Psychology by the time I'm 26, and if I decide to become a psychiatrist, then Med school will be added on as well. Anyway, if anyone just wants to chat, hit me up. I'm feeling a bit lonely lately.
 
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