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What is the difference between me and a mosquito? [FxPenis bearing entity]

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A mosquito will stop sucking after you slap it.

WHAT I LIKE
Alternate Title: We're discussing penises, would you like to join in?

There is only one thing I like more than nursing cum out of a throbbing dick, and that is having a fat schlong shoved down my throat. There is just something addicting and absurdly satisfying about that warm and bitter blast of jizz as it slowly fills my mouth and spurts out from the cracks in my lips, and I want you to give me my doctor recommended dose a day.

I know what you're thinking. Wow! She must be into hulking alpha bros who say "slut" a lot! Ehhhh. They're fine. I actually prefer geeky, nerdy dudes more when it comes to something human, but we'll get to that later. What I'm really into is monsters. We're talking things who have cocks in sheaths. Steaming meat columns with no purpose other than impregnating a bitch. The prototypical erotic fiction horse-dick. I'll give you a quick run through of what penis I like in what situation. For scientific purposes.

Non-con rapey business: HORSECOCK.
Shamey, but I like it, non-conny, blackmailish, rough sex porno plot: Alpha bro dick.
I'm way too hot for you, but you don't care anymore and you've snapped: Nerd penis.
Hey you're cute and I know you want it and I'm just gonna take it now: Nerd penis.
Every other situation: HORSECOCK
Every other situation that might be consensual: Nerd penis.

Capiche? Excellente. "What about traps and futas, Ms. Adran? They have penises too!" Indeed they do, my friend. When it comes to traps I enjoy semi-realistic superhumanly sexy cocks. Just, uh, ignore the dick in his ass and check this out. Now that is a juicy cock. When it comes to futas, however, I am more of the "meat column" variety. Foot and a half pillar of smoking hot, throbbing flesh. Yum.

There are other things than penises, you know.

Oh. Right. I forgot there is a whole spectrum of things that get me off. An entire rainbow of perversion. But I am not willing to go through the intense secretarial process of legislating the exact situations and minor kinks turn me on, so we'll only be hitting the major ones in an exhaustive, unformatted block of text juuust liiiike thiiiiiiis: Monsters. Savage beasts or hyper-intelligent demons, it doesn't matter as long as they are huge, horrifying, have a fat cock, and are interested in using me. Overly monstrous things work too. Wanna crawl around on four arms and have a tongue penis or something? ...Sure. I could go for that. Run ideas by me. Glasses. Hot hot hot, glasses make me feel sexy and are sexy to look at. Also, cum shields. Hopefully. Violence against me. Slap, smack, hit, etc. Beat me up then fuck me! Or that in reverse. Or all that while upside down. Woo! Bondage. Chain me up, whip me, gag me, shove things in me and leave them there. Corruption/Bimbofication. They aren't the same thing, and make no mistake. One is me turning more obsessed with sex while retaining my mind, whereas the other is just turning into a dumb slut who can't think about anything other than cocks. I WONDER WHAT THAT IS LIKE HA HA HA... HA... "And it keeps coming!" Blasts of hot hot dude-spunk. Probably not the proverbial "bucket-full" but I'd still like the jizz to flow like wine. Weird hypnosis. We're not talkin, "you hypnotized now suk my dik" which, I mean, that's fine. But it is pretty uninteresting. Make it strange hypnotic cues that eventually turn me into a sex-crazed maniac (not very difficult). MAGIC. I like magic. It's cool. Zap, motherfucker! Slutty outfits. Cheerleader uniforms, sheer dresses, latex bodywear, whatever. If it gets you hard, I wanna be wearing it. So you can tear open a hole in it and hold me down and mmmmmmmmmm. Gangbangs, spit roasting, multiple dicks, etc. How could more not be more fun?

Well. If you're a psyche major you could probably have a lot of fun with that! The boring kind of fun. Let's move on.

WHAT I DON'T LIKE
Alternate Title: How to get me to ignore you in 30 seconds.

Wow! I'm really easy! I bet you could get me to agree to your absolutely filthy fetish! Nope. I am not into: Diapers, scat, watersports, anything involving the bathroom, etc. I do like violence, I don't mind if it draws blood, but I do mind if bloodplay is a focus. I do mind if scarring/mutilation is the focus. Very much not into that.

Also I'm not that into dirty talk. The sort of "Yeah, bitch, you like that don't you, you dirty slut?" thing. Overuse of the words "bitch" and "slut" bore me like no other. Be inventive with your dommy-ness! You can do better than limp wristed insults! Don't just say things that supposedly humiliate me, actually treat me like an object!

HOW WE'LL PLAY
Alternate Title: Skype? NO. Skype? NO. Skype? NO. Skype? NO.

"Alright, cool, I'll play an uninspired walking penis and you'll play this elaborately specific wank fantasy of mine. How are we going to do this?"

*Sigh*

PMs or Google documents. I am not going to skype you. I don't want to sacrifice goats to make a YIM account. MSN is exploding. AIM is laughable. I am currently laughing at everyone who uses it.

P.S. if you want me to actually respond you're going to have to play something slightly more interesting than a walking penis. Maybe a walking penis who laughs evilly every now and then and is mean?

WHAT WE'LL PLAY
Alternate Title: The Multitudes of Erotic Sexventures

Complex Plots - In which I put more effort than I should into writing a fucking scenario. Consider every picture NSFW even when it isn't. Also, you probably shouldn't be reading this ad at work. What are you doing?? Unless being horny at work is something you're into? Me too.

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EDIT: Temporarily on hold! I'll update this sometime this week. Just letting you know I'm open for RPs again.

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Simple Pairings, bolding what I want to play as. More asterisks = more willing to play!

(*----)Student x Teacher - Blackmail plot.
(*----)Monster x Superhero - Noncon.
(**---)Nerdy Kid x Popular Girl - Blackmail or Drug plot.
(***--)Nerdy Kid x Goth Girl - Hypnosis plot.
Monster x Priestess - Egyptian (****-), Greek(***--), or Nun(**---) archetypes in particular.
(*----)Monster x Female Knight - Hey! Don't touch-ayyhnnn~.
(**---)Scientist x Housewife - Drug plot.
(****-)Monster x Housewife - Pheromone based coercion.
(***--)Warlock x Queen - When the King is away, the Queen is conditioned to play.
(****-)Evil Human Knight x Elf - I'm always acting high and mighty. I guess you'll just have to use your burly cock to set me straight!
(***--)Monster x Scientist - Oh no, they've turned on me! Why did I play god??
Zombie/Monster Gang Bang x Anyone - (****-)Popular girl, (**---)housewife, and (***--)female ninja archetypes in particular.

Hey! You didn't list any five stars.

My five star pairing is...

You being sexually satisfied. <3

(p.s. did it bother you I switched where the asterisks were between the gangbang and the priestess pairing? ufufufufufu)
 
I like how you can go from "A mosquito will stop sucking after you slap it."

to

"MAGIC. I like magic. It's cool. Zap, motherfucker!" :)

Made me laugh out loud.
 
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