Cutting the darkness

I've been stalking your journal for a while too. ;D

O_O

ok, now I'm worried lol. gonna have to up my grammar and shit.

I know it's pessimistic, but why would people come and read about my crap? (before anyone thinks about it. do not take that literally)

*Shrugs* I just like to read the journals of people I actually know to some capacity. You hang out around the chat, we talk a lot, etc. Really, am I the only one who does this?

Though I did think your journal was boring when you only ever talked about your ex. ;D

oh....well, yay. nice to know someone actually cares lol. apart from caring enough to scare me to death TWICE!!!

oh, moved on from that. to be fair it did hit me for six, but...well, time moves and such. besides, I have bigger issues then her.

like the question of two Mods scaring me to death by posting in this when I thought no one actually did in the first place lol

POST OF DOOOOOM.

I likes to scare peoples.

it shows.

well, if people are actually looking at this, might as well Spruse up the place, including changing that Avie to something with more taste. Doubt everyone wants to look at Demon boy number 1. kinda miss the dark angel to be honest.

there we go, snazzy new Avi.

Nice, I like it, although I liked your other Avi as well.

Like yours as well Rwin. gotta say I like your old as well.

as scary as this sounds, if we keep this up this is going to become a hot topic and I'll have to update it more O_O

I've stopped in before too. Just never commented.

O_O

ok, well, the more you know lol.

now I definitly need to spruse this place up a bit lol.

you know, considering people actually read this junk, I'm going to actually have to talk about things and not just ramble on O_O

My god, my one weakness, not rambling!! WE'RE DOOMED!

so....what the hell am I meant to say that actually means anything lol? I could moan, I could drone, but end of the day there's, chances are, more deserving people you can look at one this site then me who actually have real problems and such. heck, most of my issues revolve around my brother and my future which only I can really solve (with, respectively a gun and a gun )

I guess I could go along the lines of why the hell I keep on thinking of random stuff and such...or even how I just seem to lack any real thing to think of.

you know what, I'll just think of random things which would probably make little sense to most people.

so, on one front you'd a thought 'hey it's only family problems, just ignore them and that's it' well, my brother's not the type to be ignored. he's either right or he's right. and to most people that's the receipe for an ass...and you'd be right.

doesn't mean I have any less respect for him. just means that he needs to get his own life in order before he orders me around. and you can say to me about how he may have a point...and your right. but it's kinda hypocritical that he tells me to get my life in order when his isn't. and I get that I need to get the best I can, but in the arguement, it's literally one focused better course/qualification over a pair of lessers which can have the main improved by work.

and then, as long as things go to plan....I'll be fine. what did I say a while back. I won't be controlled, I'm unpredictable and I'm damn sure that I know what I want.

allow me one rant and I'll be fine.

I'm tired of having to live according to how others think I should.
I'm tired of having people make assumptions over how I'm feeling.
I'm tired of having people make the wrong links in my chains because they think that's what I mean.
I'm tired of having people make choices for me, and then when I make my own, chatise me for making my own choice.
I'm tired of having to fight to make my way through life when others who do blight all make it with flying colors.
I'm tired of how people assume that, if I'm hurting, it has to do with something they know about.
I'm tired of people getting insulted over lines that have no means of being insulting. (Before anything is said, read the above)

I'm an open kind guy...I have my own life...just because I tell you a lot doesn't mean I tell you everything.

Ever opened Pandora's box before? I have.

Remember how I kept speaking about my ex cheating on me a while back, but still went like 3 months before giving up on the relationship? That shows you how much hell I can take to get my answers. I opened Pandora's box to get answers and found that life went to hell in relation to her. But I have no regrets. Never look back at the decisions you made with regret, as once you do that, they start stacking up.

I've been through hell and back to get answers, only stopping once it became clear to the world the answers were never coming.

Wonder how much I'd take next time.

so, did an exam earlier....got in 5 minutes late (not the best start) and set down to work. best bit: I was like 15 or so minutes for a 1:30 exam. and still passed

You know when you go to an Open day at a Uni to see what you'll make of it you expect things to get resolved and such? well, my own questions were, but the ones my family have aren't

heck, they still keep saying 'do full accounting'. makes me wonder if they really have my actual wants in mind and not the blunt comfort of money. Money doesn't make a life enjoyable. I can't live doing a job I don't like.

anyway, got a good talk on the joint honors system. and they confirmed it, a semester (Jan 3rd to around Juneish) spent in the US in one of 4 universities in year 2 $_$

costs 800 pounds but DAMN am I going. besides, you never know, I might meet some amazing people

how did I not notice: PROMOTION

When a Dialogue that exists between few becomes avaliable in the pool of knowledge shared by more then the allowed, then facts become molded by those who would seek to distain the position some would hold in a few circles, with falsities, lies and facts becoming intertwined upon a spindle of deceit, allowing others to believe what they want to hear, as opposed to believing what they know to be true.