The Filmmaker and the Musician (Raivh and Talin)

Nodding swiftly as she chewed, her blond hair bobbing and dancing with the motion. She almost bit her tongue as he leaned forward. It was then she realized he knew exactly who she was and that he was stringing her along in his sadistic little game. Two could play pretend. She narrowed her brown eyes slightly, so he was going home for Christmas too, probably taking his wife and their two point five kids. She stabbed her salmon violently as he continued, though the one she wished to stab sat across from her, smirking. She smiled brilliantly back before letting her face go into one of slight shock, her mouth a perfect ‘O’ as her hand lifted a bit. Oh the horror, silently she thanked all her drama teachers at once.

“That’s horrible, I’m sure there was an excellent explanation too.” She changed her face to one that was composed as she dug into the salmon once more, “Did you slip and land on a slut as well?” Tilting her head to the side she gave him her most serious expression, “At least that was what I heard about from my ex. I mean the pictures I got were enough to make me vomit for months afterward,” She forced a giggle out though it sounded natural. “The idiot ended up getting her pregnant, who knew if the kid was his, she was after all, the school slut.” she shook her head. “Anyway, he had the nerve to say that I wouldn’t have been worth the wait.” She sneered, “I plan on making him eat his words.” Smiling, she lifted her napkin from her lap. “I need to excuse myself for a moment, I’ll be right back.”

She rose and walked off nonchalantly, though inside she was a roiling volatile mess. Karli smiled the entire way to the bathroom so as not to make him think he got to her. Knowing if she sat there for another minute longer she’d have done something drastic and probably unforgivable. She dabbed her face with a damp paper towel and freshened up her makeup. Only a little while longer Karli, then you can lose it into a glass of wine and write a number one hit. Just go out there and face that insensitive jerk and pretend you didn’t come in here to give yourself a pep talk. She must have said the last part out loud since the woman next to her laughed and walked out.

Taking a deep breath she exited the bathroom and returned to the table. “Sorry about that.” Pushing her plate off to the side she spoke, “I am glad we got this chance for lunch Mr. Danes.” She sipped at her lemon water, “Perhaps next time you will allow me to treat, of course Chad might want to come along.” Smiling she thought about begging her “fiancé” to come along. At least then she might not be subject to his cruelty and she could show off. Glancing at her phone she frowned, “I guess I should be going, since your edits aren’t finished and I’m not needed.” Her brown eyes lifted to his as she stood smiling across the table, “Some men just don’t appreciate the gentile way of a true female. Have a good day Mr. Danes. I’ll call before stopping by again.” With that she headed for the exit.

There wasn’t a doubt in his mind. She recognized him, as he did her. And now they both were wrapped together in a warped game of who could throw and land the hardest punch, or inflict the deepest gouge. For Bryant, as the receiver of Karli’s retorts, it was a matter of maintaining his already amplified and growing aggravation. He could feel his ears heat, and not out of embarrassment for any of his past actions, though somewhere in his churning gut, his subconscious knew he felt remorse for sleeping with Joslyn when he should have been with Karli. Teeth gritted together, his eyes tracked her as she rose, dismissing herself from the table and their ‘pleasant’ lunch.

While she was away, his mind spun, questioning how exactly she intended on ‘making him eat his word.’ There wasn’t a drop of rain in the desert’s chance that whatever conversation they had just held wouldn’t evaporate within ten seconds, only to explode into a fiery argument. Nostrils flared, he attempted another bite of his pasta before she returned, and then his eyes were glued to her smug features. No retorts came from him, arrogant or otherwise, while he sat there and let his blood continue to heat to a boil. It wasn’t until she got to her feet, smiling at him, that the anger swirling within him began to stir and become prominent on his countenance. His green eyes darkened, and his jaw went taut, and by the time she’d taken just a few steps away from the table, he was on his feet.

The chair legs clattered and scraped over the tile floor, his movement so quick it was a blur even to him. Reaching out, he curled his fingers around her elbow in a firm grasp and reeled her back toward him. When he had her close enough, he brought his free hand up and caught hold of her chin, turning it up and forcing their eyes to meet. His expression was hard, green eyes dull and flitting about her face before they locked on her brown eyes. In the middle of the small restaurant frequented by a calm, friendly atmosphere, they’d managed to both draw attention and thicken the air so that spectators of the incident fidgeted in their seats.

“And some women just don’t know when to shut up and listen, or to wonder if the man she dated in high school ever realized his mistake. I did, Miss Peyton. You, on the other hand, don’t seem to recognize your own mistake, and that was throwing me out instead of listening!” His voice rose in increments as he spoke, and by the end of his spiel, he was red in the face. The distance between them was once more present and created fast as he released her and stepped back to pull out his wallet and slap down an amount ample enough to cover the bill and tip. It didn’t matter whether he disregarded the fact that he didn’t bother to call or show up at her house again, try to smooth the rift he’d created between them years ago.

Each step she took felt like the first time she’d turned from him, she didn’t want to go she had to. He wasn’t hers and as much as she wanted to slap, that label on him and place him on her shelf, she couldn’t. An overwhelming desire to cry hit her as she moved toward the door. Everything around her became non-existent, sounds and images faded into scenery. That is, until he touched her. Noise slammed her eardrums as though hearing for the first time and colors became vivid. She couldn’t look at him, her tears too near the surface. Though his hand forced her to face him, she held back the tears with all her might. The emotion between them was still there, raw and very real. Karli didn’t understand why what had happened hurt him. HE slept with Joslyn, HE got her pregnant, HE tried to hide it and HE said she wasn’t worth the wait.

Brown eyes closed as he spoke, she felt his voice raise and his anger building until it came to a head and he released her. It was as though her skin burned his, she knew it had at one point, but that was in a moment of love and not anger. Her soft voice a deep contrast to his, but the silence of the patrons around allowed it to be heard. “I did listen, it was the things you didn’t say that I heard most of all B-Bry. You tried to hide it from me... I love you. It was more than dating as you claimed you loved me to, or was that a lie as well. Add it to your growing collection?” She shook her head, a slim hand coming up to cover the fact her tears were falling and quick. “You don’t think I regret shoving you out the door? Did you forget what you yelled at me; ever stop to think that maybe with you feeling that way, I thought I’d made the right choice? Go home to your wife and kid!”

She turned and ran, her tears blocking her sight a bit, as she bumped into someone. “Kar?” the voice stopped her and she sank into Chads arm. “It’s ok, Baby…” he stroked her back and looked around for the one man he knew was responsible, her ex. Chad knew it all, he had to know it all to play his part in her life. His blue eyes narrowed and he guided her out of the place. “You know the paparazzi were all over that…,” he whispered low in her ear. He lifted her chin much like Bryant had though the face that met hers was very different, the smooth pads of his thumbs brushed her tears away before kissing her for the flashing cameras.

A single look back, was all she took before stepping into the cab in front of Chad. There was nothing in the kiss for Chad, but for Bry there would have been.

Stomach churning, Bryant could feel liquid fire scalding his veins, radiating from his skin. Hurt wasn’t what he had been years ago, wasn’t what he was now. Aggravated was a better word; he was aggravated that he hadn’t gone back in and owned up to his mistake, apologized and groveled at her feet until she forgave him. Stuffing his wallet back into its rightful place in his back pocket, he gritted his teeth and turned his head, trying to keep from looking at her. That glisten of tears in her eyes, he could see it, and it made him feel remorse when he wanted only to feel anger. In his rage he was blind, numb; he didn’t have to care about her like he had—like he did. Reality had served justice well in binding him to Joslyn, punishing him for the terrible and regretted way in which he’d betrayed Karli.

Green eyes on the window, he could still hear her soft, sweet voice, her southern accent ringing clear above all other sounds, and sinking into his mind, pleading with his heart to soften from its hardened state. She still loved him, and she admitted it; he couldn’t. Or rather, didn’t want to, because confessing he had never fallen out of love with her was ludicrous. He’d spent seven years in a marriage with a woman he couldn’t give two shits about, and here he was avoiding Karli’s gaze because she made him feel. Where he didn’t care whether or not Joslyn was in a mood to let him touch her or not, Bryant craved nothing more than to haul Karli up against his body or press her against the nearest wall, and kiss her. No. He didn’t even have to kiss her. He just wanted the contact, to know that she still yearned for his embrace and strength, as he desired her tender affection and to see her bright smile return.

Her final, cutting words hit him, and he jerked his head in her direction just in time to see her flee for the door, only to be intercepted by another man. Staring at the fellow, Bryant recognized him, but vaguely. Chad had showed up in his studio just once, and Bryant hadn’t thought twice that he would be encountering the country singer again anytime soon. Every muscle in his body tensed as he watched Chad escort Karli out of the restaurant, and he slammed his hand against a chair when he witnessed the duo’s kiss. It was enough to make his blood boil, and he stormed from the bistro, plowing past the glass doors and letting them swing shut behind him.

His harsh, irritated stare caught Karli’s, noting the mournful and dull look that overwhelmed her brown eyes. All he gave her in return was a look of disgust before turning away. As her cab pulled from the curb, he crossed the street behind it, heading back to his studio to finish her video and inform Stephanie that she would be the one to pick it up. He wanted nothing to do with the brown-eyed, blonde-haired country star. And if she didn’t want her reputation ruined and that of her friend’s, she wouldn’t come within ten feet of him.

…….

“What do you mean you’re not coming in today?” Brittany asked over the phone, sounding both distressed and aggravated. Her voice was strained, and he could tell by the hissing in her tone that she was speaking through gritted teeth, no doubt with a vice-grip on the phone.

Sitting on his couch at home in his apartment, clothed in only a pair of ratty sweats, Bryant flipped through the channels on the television. The room was dark, and the entire place was quiet because Nick had stayed at Hailey’s the night before. “Miss Peyton’s finished video is on file there, and you have access to my computer. I don’t have any shoots to do today, so no, I’m no coming in. You’re free to go once they’ve seen the edited version. If they’re not satisfied, set up an appointment with her manager.”

Closing his eyes, he leaned back on the couch and listened to Brittany prattle on and on about how he should be the one showing the final cut, not her. “Have a good day, Brittany.” He heard her screech before he hung up the phone, effectively cutting her off and relieving himself from her nagging.

Karli knew him well enough to see the anger and hurt behind his glare, his final look in her direction. Those green eyes haunted her every night. She barely heard a word Chad said as he directed a cab. The brick building they got out in front of was not the hotel, but a friendly woman stood smiling at the curb. “Chad? Where are we?” The neighborhood was quiet and the building looked vintage, though the women assured her it was all modern on the inside. Smiling wide she followed them up the stairs; intricately carved crown molding was lovely and seemed to be everywhere. So far, she liked the feeling the building gave off. A fresh start, perhaps this was the right place.

They passed a male on their way in to see the apartment. The lady addressed him as Nick, for a moment, she thought of Bryant and giggled. “Sorry, someone recently told me to stay away from guys named Nick…” Chad and Nick spoke while the woman, Sharon, showed her the apartment. The floor plan was open; the work they’d completed made it a prime choice. The kitchen had a ‘L’ shaped island with bar seating that separated it from the living room. Already in her head, she could imagine social gatherings and furniture set ups. Sharon informed her that this was a larger apartment and instead of two, had three bedrooms. Smiling at her Karli had no other choice to make, sliding her arms around Chad, she hugged him, “I move in tomorrow.”

--

The movers met her at the apartment at eight and she’d worked hard in helping them unload the truck. The country starlet wore a ball cap hiding her identity, she hoped, along with sweats and an old tee. The plans she drew up for the apartment was in her overnight bag already sitting on the counter, the keys tucked into her pocket after she’d signed the lease the night before. Nick informed her that he, and his roommate were her neighbors, and if she ever needed anything just to stop by. She thought that was sweet and could use a set of friendly neighbors, being new to New York and all.

She made sure they were quiet in setting her things down and by ten; all her belongings were placed in the appropriate rooms. The big items were unwrapped and she was left to move and organize. Her music room was the first thing she set up after her bedroom. Her suitcases and totes, all containing clothes, stacked easily in the double closets. Making the bed, she thought about a short nap, but knew with her busy schedule that it’d be best to get everything done sooner, rather than later.

After a small lunch of Chinese take-out, Karli got to work on making her apartment stylish by marking the spots she wanted pictures hung. Moving all her big pieces of furniture into place, one other neighbor stopped by and she took advantage of his muscles, she had the frames leaning against the wall. Checking the time, she saw it was well after noon and the small hammer wouldn’t make that much noise. Even if it did, it’d be over soon. She flipped on her own CD, lifted the hammer and began striking nails left and right. Bryant was a far off thought.

It was quiet after he hung up the phone, silencing the device and tossing it aside so he wouldn’t have to deal with it anymore that day. A day of rest and relaxation was what he needed. No good would come of having that phone nearby. Flipping through channels, not particularly interested in any of the programs that were on, he zoned out staring at the remote. Several minutes passed before he returned to reality, realizing that he had no idea what he was watching. There was a woman on the screen screaming about something to a guy who appeared to be her lover. It only took him long enough to discover that the man wasn’t her husband, but the man she’d been sleeping with, and that somehow it was the guy’s fault she was getting a divorce, to mute the television.

His eyes remained on the T.V. for a second more before drifting to the kitchen counter, where a plastic bag rested on the wooden surface, a single square item weighing it down. He wasn’t sure why he’d bothered purchasing her CD, or even why he’d sought it out. Rising from the couch, he wandered over to the counter. It wasn’t as though he intended to listen to her music. He didn’t care to, didn’t want to. If he did, he knew he would read into the lyrics.

The plastic wrapping crinkled in his hand as he balled it into his fist, before tossing it into the trash can a few feet away. Staring at the cover, his sight was drawn to the sparkling “K” dangling from her neck, positioned almost perfectly at the hollow of her throat. A smirk crawled across his face, sarcastic in nature, but faded as he turned and walked to his bedroom, still staring down at her picture on the front of the CD.

Memories flashed through his mind, both bad and good, and the moment he cracked open the case and saw the shining disc on the inside, he knew he should have stopped. Instead, he pulled the silvery disc from its case with a pop, opened the disco compartment on his personal laptop, and let it play. Her voice flooded into his room, beautiful and sweet, her southern drawl enough to make him grit his teeth in memory of his name spoken in that same voice. A minute into the first track he heard a loud bang and furrowed his eyebrows, snapping his attention to the wall the headboard of his bed rested against. Another series of bangs, and he assumed that someone was moving in, setting up their new place.

Dialing up the volume a few decibels louder than necessary, he pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it onto the foot of his bed, not an easy feat with one good arm. No doubt whoever it was Nick had already introduced himself to. Licking his lips, he found himself turning the volume up even louder. Country music wasn’t even on his list of preferred music. And Karli wasn’t on his list of preferred people.

More continuous hammering and a few tracks of Karli’s CD later, Bryant was opening the front door to his apartment, and knocking on his new neighbor’s door.

Having moved away from her living room, she headed to her bedroom. She had decided that over her bed a collection of prints from her grandmother should go. Hopping up on her bed, she stood looking at the wall positioning and repositioning a few of the frames. Deciding on the large one as her main focal point and grouping the others on each side she smiled in satisfaction and sang along to the CD playing in the background. As she tapped the first nail into place, she realized her CD had ended yet she still heard the music.

Frowning a moment her brown eyes focused on the nail and missed hitting the wall. The music went up. Laughing softly she understood that her new neighbor had her CD and was now in the process of drowning her out with herself. Odd as it seemed it was rather funny. Karli concluded that Nick’s roommate must have been a girl. At least that was most of her fans were. With this information, she would possibly have a friend in the building and that made her smile. She tapped the nails into place to the beat of the song as she sang. She could have belted out her song through the wall and startled the poor dear, but Karli was more than happy to just be friendly.

After the Frames over her bed were done, she moved to the other walls of her room and put together the heavy case that would house her awards. She already had a few and she didn’t want them out in everyone’s view. One of the closets was going to be transformed as soon as she was able to get her clothing under control, though in reality she supposed this would not ever truly be something under control. Hammering the shelf together wasn’t so bad and soon she was back at the walls tapping nails into place.

She smiled to herself hearing the knock on the door. Thinking it was Chad she ran forward wiping the sweat from her brow and throwing the door open to greet him with an exuberant smile. “You of all peoples should just let yours…” She rocked on her bare feet for a second seeing it was Bryant, her smile changed to one of force. “Look when I said go home to your wife and kid, I meant it. It wasn’t some mixed message like come find me we’ll kiss and make up kind of thing, AT ALL.” She crossed her arms, trying to keep herself from lunging at him and forcing him to want her. She waited, maybe he was here about her video and not to “kiss and make up” as she’d stated.

A gust of air whipped around him when the door flew open. Blonde hair. Stunning chocolate brown eyes. Karli. Not what he expected. In his subconscious, he was bashing his head against the wall to his left, wondering if a leprechaun would move down the hall next. Maybe that would improve his luck. Then he and the little green man could discuss where he was hiding his pot of gold over a few bottles of beer, or a few shots of Vodka. At the moment, the liquor cabinet back in his apartment was calling his name, telling him to run away from Karli far and fast.

His mouth had opened and his brow had furrowed in disbelief, not quite sure if he was having a nightmare or if reality was kicking him in the ass. Out of everything she said Bryant heard only one word—kiss. All of a sudden his ears heated, and his eyes dropped to her lips on impulse, recalling each and every time he’d had the gall to drag her into his embrace—whether she was angry or not—and kiss her until her eyes crossed.

Now he had nothing but a few choice words, and none that allowed him a step closer to her, or for him to reach out and grab her by the elbow, haul her up against him. Or perhaps force her to the—his mind retreated to the brilliant smile she’d had the moment she opened the door, and to how quickly it disappeared when she’d realized who was on the other side of it. Then his thoughts jolted back to the other day when he’d taken her to lunch, to how she’d ran out of the restaurant crying, only to be swept into another man’s arms, Chad’s arms.

Gradually, as he stood there, staring at her, he began to put together more pieces of what she’d just said to him. Rage boiled in his blood, scalding his veins and tinting his face red as he gritted his teeth together, firming and darkening his already irritated expression.

“I don’t have a kid. And I don’t have a wife. In fact, I’m single. But not for long,” he spat back. Not for long because now he definitely had every intention of going to a club that night, getting plastered at the bar, and either trying to snag a date or, at the very least, a one-night-stand while doing so.

“Do me a favor, stop pounding on the walls. The landlord doesn’t appreciate holes in the walls, and I don’t appreciate getting a headache every time I walk into my bedroom.” He should have put on a shirt. It seemed a sudden, cold draft had swept in from nowhere. Turning from her, he wandered back toward his apartment.

She stared at him, staring at her for a bit, then turned her gaze to his chest and instantly wished she hadn’t. His lack of a shirt made it hard to concentrate when he opened his mouth and spoke. Karli found herself wishing he had been there to kiss her. To justify her feelings, she was so angry with him still. Yet there was a warmth there and it wasn’t anger. However, soon she felt that as well. Blonde brows furrowed and an arm shot out to grip the door jamb. She felt her stomach bottom out and she braced herself on the door, her tan knuckles going white.

“No kid… Jos… single?” Her mind reeled as she whispered, repeating what he stated. Her brown eyes shot to his fire burning within the depths, not for long, she repeated over and over in her head. barely listening to what he said after that she seemed in a daze, as he began walking away she snapped out of it and moved. “Actually, Mr. Danes… I was given permission to do what I wanted in MY apartment. Knock down a wall or even pound on the walls all night long, IF I so choose. And I might,” she giggled airily, “Chad is coming over and we’re going to celebrate my new apartment… possibly in every room.”

She was sick at the thought but she couldn’t stop herself. Then she moved further into the hall. “Good luck with your … un… singleness.” she blurted, it was awkward to say and probably not even correct. She huffed as she turned; just saying it made her eyes well up. “Being single sucks… even more so when you are kind of famous,” She said softly moving back to her own apartment. Sit was like fishing with popcorn, allowing the fish, Bry, to take all the bait and winding up empty handed. She slumped her shoulders dejectedly, all she ever wanted was him and she was messing it up repeatedly.

Turning over her shoulder, she watched him; he’d stopped when she spoke. Maybe he was wishing for something wise to come falling out between those pink shapely muscles instead of the nonsense she seemed not able to hold back. “It’s a lie… publicity. When I thought you had it all it was easier than being alone and facing you. Nothing I do is right anymore.” She continued on to her apartment. “I’ll try to keep it down IF I know you are home.” She closed the door behind her and melted into it sobbing.

Music. He could still hear it playing from his apartment, even as she spoke. Priority number one was going to be turning that shit off when he got away. Slowing to a stop just a few feet from his door, he glanced back in her direction. That was one of the last things he wanted to hear about, her plans to celebrate with Chad. Sleeping on the couch (usually something he preferred not to do) didn’t sound so bad for the night. At least he wouldn’t have to hear them celebrating while he tried to fall asleep whenever she and Chad reached the room that was right on the other side of his bedroom wall.

Without realizing he’d turned to face her, he found himself staring into her brown eyes. There was sorrow about them, a sort of depression that seemed to take over her countenance. He watched as that depression caused her shoulders to fall, and it took him a few moments to comprehend what she’d said before another slew of words were falling from her velvety pink lips. Her fling with Chad wasn’t anything but publicity. She was single, free for the taking; his for the taking. His nostrils flared out as he released a long, heavy breath, one that he’d unconsciously been holding in until his lungs felt full to bursting.

Silence surrounded him in the empty hallway, not a sound but the fading steps of someone descending to the first level, undoubtedly to venture out into the hustle and bustle of the city for the day. “Publicity,” he mouthed the word, and swallowed hard to force the swollen lump lodged in his esophagus into his stomach. A loud ringing had started in his ears, drowning all thoughts from his mind. So focused on her door, he could hear her sobbing, her breath hitching in manner that caused his stomach to twist into violent knots.

Don’t cry. Bryant almost heard himself speak the plea aloud, agonized by the sound of the upset woman hidden behind her apartment door. Shuffling back to his apartment with his eyes glued to the floor, the first place he went to was the kitchen. With an aimless but sure reach, he pulled open the cabinet where he and Nick stored their stash of liquor, and produced a bottle of sweet white wine. It was something Nick saved for the occasional dinners-in he planned with his girlfriend, Hailey. He set it aside to go pull on a shirt, and then was headed out the front door, locking it once he was in the hall and tucking his key into his pocket, the bottle of wine in his left hand.

“Karli,” he called, knocking, a sullen look painting his features. When there was no response, he grasped the handle in a loose grip, as if contemplating his decision to open the door wise or not. He spun the knob, and the door slid open, revealing the inside of Karli’s apartment. The latch clicked quietly when he closed the door behind him, and took a few steps inside. Her furniture looked to be set in place.

Walking around, it didn’t take him long to find her, and when he did, he had a difficult time looking her in the eye. They could be friends. He parted his lips to speak, and lifted the bottle of wine. “Welcome to New York, Karli. Did you go by to check your video, or did you send your manager? Brittany was at the studio; I took the day off.”

God how her heart ached, standing there gripping the doorjamb in her apartment she wished she could just curl up and go numb. Sniffling she shuffled through the rooms and finally sank to the edge of the tub in the bathroom. Burying her head in a towel muffled the noise and absorbed the tears. Emotions. Real and raw emotions bubbled up; it was as though she was reliving that day over again. The idea that he was single made her a bit happy, the fact he pointed out it wouldn’t last long was like a slap in the face. She screamed into the towel out of pure frustration.

It wasn’t until she recovered from her mini meltdown that she realized he was the one playing her music. It was comforting in a way that confused her deeply. She sat on the side of the tub until a loud knock jarred her from her thoughts. Thoughts of taking the hammer and pounding the wall while screaming about how quiet she was. No sooner had she dismissed the idea as childish, up it popped again. Turning her pale face in the direction of the door, she sighed and stood. Going to the mirror, she attempted to correct the damage she’d done before answering the door. She was a wreck. Thankfully, she wasn’t wearing makeup but her face was blotchy and her nose was red. Spinning the knobs she hollered out, “Just a sec,” and splashed water on her face.

Karli felt him approach they still had that connection. Wordlessly she dried her face and opened her eyes to find him staring at her in the mirror. Yet the pools of green, that always made her heart skip a beat, barely met her eyes. Swallowing hard she smiled, genuinely, before shaking her head and moving past him to the kitchen. “I’ve been here all morning; I met the movers at 8. I go on a month long tour in two days so I knew this,” She motioned around as she rose on her toes to grab a set of wine glasses from the cabinet. “Was a priority. Besides it’ll be nice to come home and relax after tour for a bit.” She placed the glasses on the counter and smiled again. “Thank you, so far New York has been… different. I have a couple days off but then I’m on until the week before Christmas, when I fly home and face the family.”

She took one of the glasses he filled and moved to the couch, before rethinking her decision and moving to a chair, curling her legs beneath her. The last time she sat on a couch with him was the start of it all. “I get to go home single and prove how much of a dreamer I am, you know how they are about grandbabies and the like. Your mom and my mom are friends but she knows not to talk about you.” She shook her head and twirled the wine in her glass after a sip, “This is a good wine… did you pick it?” She asked as her eyebrow raised high on her head as she asked the question.

Just her reflection, that was all he could see, and he didn’t even want to look her in the eyes through the mirror. Despite this, drawn to her like a bee to honey, his eyes found the sweet, chocolate center of her gaze, and immediately his craving for her intensified. His mouth went dry when she smiled at him, knowing he didn’t deserve that expression, no matter how much he loved seeing it spread over her tear-stained face.

Two days. Subconsciously, he heard her, but the information didn’t register right away. Without even realizing he’d moved, he was standing beside her in the kitchen, following the reach of her hand as she sought out two wine glasses and set them on the counter. She shouldn’t have been as receptive as she was being. It was much too like the Karli he’d known, the girl whose trust he’d betrayed. Swallowing hard when she smiled at him again, he cleared his throat out of habit, his heart rate higher than he would have liked, blood pressure climbing. His ears felt hot, as though he was sitting too close to a fire in the winter.

“Sounds like you’re busy,” he commented, an attempt to contribute something to the conversation. All his mind could keep going back to was the time he’d made her cry, shout, shove him out of her house, and recall the downright broken look on her face that day. After pouring the wine, he watched her take her glass and wander into the living room. It took him a moment to follow after her, beginning to regret his decision to wish her welcome. They couldn’t be friends. It wouldn’t work, just like it would never work with Joslyn.

He didn’t even notice that she had sat down on the couch before moving to a different chair, taking a seat where they wouldn’t be side by side, eliminating the possibility of contact. Sinking down into the middle cushion, he brought his wine glass up, and tipped it back, sipping from its contents as she spoke. Her words had him nearly spitting the wine back into his glass, but he forced it down with a hard swallow. Eyes on her, flitting about her soft, slender, beautiful tanned features, he wondered how many men besides himself had been permitted to touch her, to hold her, and to kiss her.

“No.” His eyes locked with hers, homed in on her brown eyes, the high, curious arch of her brow. As quickly as their eyes met, he tore his away, and leaned forward to set his glass down on the table, before rising to his feet. “Nick picked it out.” Licking his lips, he inhaled a deep, pensive breath, and let it out on a single, whooshing sigh. That breath was all it took for him to cross over to the door he should have never entered, open it, and close it behind him without so much as a goodbye, or an “I’ll see you later.”

Back in his apartment, he locked the door, and went to his room to shut off her music. He removed her album from the player, and for a long, several moments, he stared at the cover. She was wearing the necklace he’d given her the day they’d broken up, the day he’d left her because she’d told him to go. Breaking the disc in half, he threw it in the kitchen trashcan, followed by the case, tied up the bag, and emptied it. It would go out to the curb the next day, and he would avoid seeing or speaking to Karli at all costs.

Karli took another sip and savored the flavor, she saw him stand and watched him a moment. Hearing the release of breath, she knew he was having second thoughts. If, NO when, he walked away this time she wasn’t going to let him see her tears. The closing of the door completed her thoughts and silently she spun the lock and flipped the switch on her lights. Alone in the dark she cried sitting on the couch. In the spot he’d vacated she let everything flood through her. Collecting the wine glasses, she dumped the contents and sat them in the sink. The wine went to the fridge. It was high time she got rid of the emotional baggage she carried, named Bryant. Once in her music room she strummed her guitar, picking out the right notes to convey her emotions as the words came to her. Scrawling them on a pad of paper with a pencil, she pulled from her messy bun they flowed like water from her soul. She set up her laptop and videoed it to her favorite mixer.

Waking the next morning, she had a studio date to record it whiles on tour. It would drop the day she got into town if everything went well. Of course, she knew this would involve radio promos and visits but it would be one day and she could phone some of them in. The last two days or first two, depends on how you wanted to look at it, were spent touring the city. She hopped on a double decker bus, took the tour and played with Chad at Coney Island letting the paparazzi have their fun and posing with the giant pink bear he’d won her. Her clothes she hadn’t unpacked from her suitcase were rolled out to the curb; she swore she saw him duck out of his apartment door and turn right back around when he saw her. She kept her head up, the song she wrote poured out everything she felt and she refused to be childish.

--

Exhausting, that is what a tour was. She and Chad fought in public and she ended it throwing his ring at him, the pictures caught it right as it bounced off his head and exposed him for cheating on her. His publicist called hers and she wasn’t reprimanded. Her manager was glad to see that Chad Oaken was off her coattails but that meant extra work to replace him on tour. Karli ignored the fact she needed someone else and threw herself into the shows giving her fans what they came to see. Of course, the new song was recorded but they hadn’t dropped it yet. She found a YouTube video and smiled, her fans loved it. Already the comments were pouring in so they decided with one week left on tour to drop it and it topped the charts. It wasn’t a surprise since most people could relate to the lyrics.

In a way, Karli prayed Bryant didn’t hear it; her parents heard it and called immediately. They loved it, knew whom it was about and still loved it. Writing was cathartic, her way of releasing it back into the air. If it was meant to turn out with him, then it would simple as that. Though her mind stayed occupied with thoughts of him she tried pushing him aside and drowning him in her performances, but he was resilient and stood up against it all. Her last show finally came and home was calling her name. Sending a smile toward his apartment she snuck into hers, pale and thin. Falling into bed she slept for 12 hours straight and had to rehearse her float was an ice-skating rink set up to look like a Currier & Ives painting. She had her song picked out and everything sounded well for the next day’s parade.

She was supposed to stay in a hotel next to where they would start out, that way she and her crew wouldn’t have to worry about traffic the next day and therefore was no chance to be late. Karli paused at her door making sure she had everything, keys, purse, phone, overnight bag. The hot pink bag on her shoulder had it all. She took a deep breath opened the door and picked up her guitar case. As she was locking her door she heard someone coming up the stairs, she didn’t pay it much attention until she turned to go. Swallowing hard, her eyes fell to Bryant; she heard nothing but the beat of her heart for a full 60 seconds before she was able to react. She lifted her hand in greeting then silently she walked down the stairs and caught a cab.

~The Single~
See I can't wake up I'm living a nightmare
That keeps playing over again
Locked in a room so hung up on you
And you're cool with just being friends

Left on the sidelines
Stuck at a red light
Waiting for my time
And I can't see

Why don't you love me?
Touch me, tell me I'm your everything
The air you breathe
And why don't you love me baby?
Open up your heart tonight
'cause I could be all that you need
Ohhhhhhh
Why don't you love me?
Why don't you love me?

See I'm just too scared to tell you the truth
Cause my heart ache can't take anymore
Broken and bruised longing for you
And I don't know what I'm waiting for

Left on the sidelines
Stuck at a red light
Waiting for my time
So just tell me

Why don't you love me?
Touch me, tell me I'm your everything
The air you breathe
And why don't you love me baby?
Open up your heart tonight
'cause I could be all that you need
Ohhhhhhh

Why don't you give me a reason? (give me a reason)
Please tell me the truth (Please tell me the truth)
You know that I'll keep believing (I'll keep believing)
Till I'm with you

Why don't you love me?
Kiss me, I can feel your heart tonight
It's killing me so
Why don't you love me?
Touch me, tell me I'm your everything
The air you breathe
And why don't you love me baby?
Open up your heart tonight
'cause I could be all that you need
Ohhhhhhh
Why don't you love me?
Why don't you love me?
Why don't you love me?
Why don't you love me?
Why don't you love me?

{{CREDIT FOR SONG LYRICS go to Hot Chelle Rae Feat. Demi Lovato (Why Don’t You Love Me) thanks! }}

More difficult than he thought, avoiding her was like avoiding the plague. The contagion still managed to reach him, and every time he saw her, he got tense. He’d been an idiot to go to her apartment, a bottle of wine in hand, and think that the past wouldn’t haunt him the entire time, as it had. The more time he spent dodging her, the more he thought about her. His plan was as flawed as he was. He knew she’d seem him on more than one occasion, coming out of his apartment, just to draw the door shut again and hide inside the minute he spotted her. Immature as the behavior was, he couldn’t stop picturing how much he’d hurt her that day, the tears in her eyes when she’d seen him looking at her in the mirror the other day. It was better for them both, he thought, if he widened the rift that already existed between them than to pretend they could close it. They couldn’t, he was positive, and that was why sitting there in her apartment like he had, thinking that they could just be friends, had been so peculiar.

Today was the Thanksgiving Day parade, and he knew she was performing. That was the reason why he hadn’t planned on going, but Brittany insisted they go, and since they were dating, he didn’t want to offend her by objecting. Even in dating Brittany, Bryant couldn’t shake the thoughts that constantly circled his mind, attacked him in his sleep, often waking him with the unwanted desire to go next door to see her. But not just to talk; no, he wanted to hold her like he had when they were younger, and to tell her that he couldn’t shake her from his thoughts. Determined not to love her—that he didn’t love her—he shoved thoughts of her as far back in his mind as he could by day.

The keys in his hand clanked against each other, creating a metallic jingle, as he stuffed them into the pocket of his jeans. Taking the stairs to his floor was the only way to get to his apartment, but it also meant it was difficult to avoid crossing in front of her door. She’d been gone, away on tour, for the past several weeks, so he’d become somewhat comfortable walking past her apartment. He hadn’t anticipated to see her when he looked up, and when he did, when his eyes locked with hers, every muscle in his body responded by coiling into tight, rigid knots. His skin broke out in a sweat, and he licked his lips, breaking eye contact before he would be unable to do so.

Without a word, or even a return greeting, he shuffled past her, and as always, disappeared into his apartment to dress for his day out with Brittany. They’d closed the studio for the next month, taking off to vacation and spend time with one another. After talking with her, their plan was to go to his parents for Christmas, and hers for Thanksgiving dinner. It was fair trade.

At the parade, the streets were crowded, people packed like sardines and dressed in warm caps, coats, gloves, and scarves. Brittany was huddled close to Bryant, cuddling against his arm, as they watched float by float pass by. She was talking about how much time it had probably taken each crew to put together the various floats, and how great the performances that had come by were. Bryant was too busy focusing on a small hole in the street to notice much of anything. As cold as the wind was, it couldn’t distract him from the heat that had welled up in his body, thinking about Karli from the moment he’d seen her in the hall earlier that day. He knew she was performing today, knew that he would see her, regardless of whether or not she would spot him.

“Bryant!” Brittany’s voice dragged him back to reality, and Bryant lifted his head, following the direction of her pointed finger, to see Karli standing on the upcoming float. To his right, he heard a young woman talking to who he could only assume was her beau, and mentioning Karli Peyton’s new song. The lump that had been in his throat all day suddenly swelled to an unbearable size. That song had been playing in his apartment when he’d come back the night before with Brittany at his side. She’d spoken about how it was probably for Chad, since the two had separated during Karli’s tour. A twisting in his gut and the guilt he’d felt, however, led him to believe something different.

“Bryant, are you listening?” Staring at Karli, Bryant forced his eyes away from her to look at Brittany, who lifted on her toes to kiss his cheek. “It’s the perfect song, isn’t it?”

Crying herself to sleep, she knew everything was done and over with, she’d be better off without him since he didn’t seem to want her. Yet all she wanted to do was throw herself in his arms and make him sure he knew he was forgiven. Curling herself around the spare pillow, she finally fell into a fitful sleep. She was up early warming up her vocal chords and getting her hair and makeup done. The dark green pea coat reminded her of his eyes and she groaned when the stylist pulled it out but it was cute and would look good on TV and that was something she had to follow. Dark washed jeans, brown calf high boots white sweater and the coat. Her head had a white hat and she wore white fingerless gloves so she could play her guitar.

Funny thing, she didn’t feel nervous she was more excited. She was on the float early and fans were screaming her name. She waved and gave them her happiest smile. She could fool the world it was one day. The parade was a few minutes late but Karli didn’t mind she waved happily and smiled at the patrons. This was the best part of being in the public eye. As they closed the gap to Macy’s storefront, she pulled on her guitar and made sure her mic was in place. She turned to wave and saw Bryant and his assistant in the crowd. She smiled at the group next to them and turned to wave at the other side. She took a deep breath and spun around as the float stopped. She smiled as her introduction came and began. Tan fingers strummed the guitar and her pure voice came out strong.

I won't ask for much this Christmas
I don't even wish for snow
I'm just gonna keep on waiting
Underneath the mistletoe
I won't make a list and send it
To the North Pole for Saint Nick
I won't even stay awake to
Hear those magic reindeers click
'Cause I just want you here tonight
Holding on to me so tight
What more can I do
Baby all I want for Christmas is you
Ooh baby

Her voice cracked with emotion on the baby as she watched Brittany kiss his cheek, the cheek of the man that would always belong to her.


All the lights are shining
So brightly everywhere
And the sound of children's
Laughter fills the air
And everyone is singing
I hear those sleigh bells ringing
Santa won't you bring me the one I really need
Won't you please bring my baby to me...

The music faded and before she was off screen, though she didn’t know it, she wiped the tears from her eyes before donning the wide fake smile and waving at her fans. As her heart shattered into a million pieces, she kept up her mask. Insurmountable pain welled up in her chest. She needed to move and would look soon. Seeing him was painful and every time was like ripping the band aid off the wound. After the parade she went out to eat with a few friends for dinner, it was the first time she didn’t have turkey on Thanksgiving.

Finally home the silence killed her, she turned on the radio but it seemed her song about him was played every five minutes or so. Sinking into the couch she curled into a ball, why did it have to be like this? Perhaps she just needed to take Steph up on setting her up on a date, it would at least help take her mind off him and at least help get through the pain. She spoke to her mom, and dad; they saw the tear and didn’t even speak of it. They knew something was bothering their youngest daughter but she was putting up a brave front. She hung up the phone after trying to reassure them it was only exhaustion. She was glad to finally rest but it would be good to relax and look for a new place.


{{CREDIT FOR SONG LYRICS go to Mariah Carey (All I Want For Christmas) thanks! }}