~ Ğяǝÿsɯıʇɥ }} ḋεṿïαи¢ε υиḋεɾ τhε вïģ τøρ {{ ₮ɐℓıи ~

What he spoke of Petre was true, she made her way back to the bed, laying down she couldn’t handle the utensils. Seeing the stool she knew he meant to feed her. She’d watched his hands moment’s ago playing absently with the water, anger welled up in her small chest. As soon as he said it she found herself wanting to scream at him. I expected to fall for you… any man with a heartbeat would… Yet he didn’t, hadn’t, called them tremendous. She refused to let him see the hurt in her chocolate colored orbs, “Thank you Dmitry.” She didn’t expect him to feed her. She never really expected much from him. Her own smile faltered as she looked into the blue depths of his own eyes, Opening her mouth she took the bite he offered and chewed slowly, leaving her head resting on her arms.

“I knew the moment he kept going with the lashings he truly wanted me to bear the burden of them. For me to say I loved you, killed him. He had always tried to make me say it to him, but I refused.” She took the next offered bite and ate it as well. “For me to willingly allow you to bed me was the final straw. I knew he’d be forced to go easier on me. Victor would not have stopped him if it were you lying there. I fear that you would not only not be able to work, but you would not be able to stand or move for quite some time, and then he would force us out of the circus or to pay off board some other way.” Pavla visibly shook, “It’s the, what ifs and possibilities that are the scariest.”

Pavla didn’t understand love enough to know that this small act of feeding her was such. She felt lost, she hadn’t expected to fall for him and she had, while he had expected to fall for her and hadn’t. The knowledge that any female could walk into their lives and pull him away from her scared her. At least with the information being out that they had joined it would deter some. Worrying her the most was Petre, and now, Victor. The numerous torments they could send their way was enough to make even the strongest of people break. Dmitry had his weak points, alcohol and protecting her. He’d proved that when he laid harm to Victor. Pavla had only one, Dmitry. If Petre was after them, splitting them up was what he would aim to do, she could feel it.

After eating her fill of the food she watched Dmitry eat and then rise. The goodbye was short, but she knew he had to work to support them. Thankfully Elizabeth and Glorianna had not yet charged them for all the doctoring they had done so far. Glorianna stepped in soon after and helped her into the tub of now warm water. Stretching out she could feel the warmth seeping into her body, easing the tension in her sore limbs and tired mind. She had promised him time so that is what she would give. Perhaps he would know in a month or two. She knew they were set to pack at the end of this week. The new location was a ways away but when they got there the weather would be warm, at night the chill was already hanging in the air here so the move would bring in more business.

Silently she prayed that in a week she would be able to move more easily. That way she would be able to carry her own weight and not have to rely so much on Dmitry. Elizabeth’s voice invaded her thoughts and musings. “You’re turning into a shriveled plum, let’s get you out and put on more ointment before the skin dries out too much.” Pavla rose and Elizabeth dried her off gently, once she was laying down Elizabeth dimmed the lantern a bit and opened the front flaps to let the warmth from Dmitry’s fire in without showcasing her bare body. After the ointment was applied Elizabeth sat at the table and knitted until Dmitry came back. Pavla drifted off to sleep relaxed and eased due to her soak and think. She resolved to be happy and show her love to Dmitry, whether he ever returned it or not.

The thought of Pavla beneath another man, forced by her own stepfather, it made him feel nauseous, disgusted that he had ever thought of the Ringmaster as anything more than a putrid depiction of human life. He was a taker, and taking from Pavla seemed to be his favorite pastime. Knowing that is was her love for him which caused his fury only increased his desire to make sure Petre never saw anything from the pair that even resembled it. She was also astute in acknowledging that even though she had been marred, the situation could have been much worse, and Petre may not have stopped if it had of been him taking the lashings. Dmitry knew she was right, but it didn’t make accepting the information any easier. He wanted to protect her properly, and since they were first wed, he felt as though he had failed in caring for her, only putting her in the way of harm because of his temper or drinking. The thought visibly stung him, and he could feel his eyes sting and throat tighten. She was not safe with him, not while Petre was watching their every movement, and not while she continued to boldly speak her love for him.

“I will work twice as hard for both of us, Pavla. I’ll try to bring in as much money as I can.” He reassured her. The idea of it was sobering however, for knowing the only way to make extra money in the circus was either to perform more, or, to take bets of his abilities. These could be dangerous, as some of the feats that bets were taken on often included the elephants, and their massive size was intimidating to say the least. He resolved to only take small bets, as having him out of commission was not a possibility.

He finished feeding Pavla, and then turned to his own meal, scarfing it down quickly and rising, changing into his costume for the evening. She hadn’t been able to fix it up for him, given the events of the past few days, so it remained small, revealing his broad muscled chest, and now also showing off the long, deep lash diagonally drawn down his back. Dmitry hadn’t been paying much attention to it, and hoped that the mark would not deter customers. With a gentle kiss to the top of her head he left, disappearing into the night and off to the sideshow tents.

The night was a fruitful one, luckily for Dmitry. He was offered ten shillings by a wealthy man simply for demonstrating that he could lift him, the joke being that this man was so exuberantly obese that lifting him would have been a great deal. Truthfully though, it was a simple task for almost a days’ worth of pay, and he quickly tucked the funds away so as to not catch the attention of anyone around him. His regular performance went on as well, wearing him out heavily, so that he was slicked with sweat and dirt, having only taken minimal damage from their very old tiger, which barely even put up much of a fight anymore, and the performance was becoming lacklustre. He hoped they would not kill the beautiful beast, as the circus was cruel, and any who did not work to earn their keep would either be disposed of or removed.

Dmitry watched as the patrons filtered out, heading home, filled with laughs and alcohol. He was making his way back to their tent, still breathing heavily from the strain of the night.

“Youuuu hooo…..” A voice called, he looked up, spotting a woman there. She was elegantly dressed, soft sheer fabrics covered her from, slim shoulders exposed and curly red hair adorned with shimmering gemstones and feathers. He was surprised, women of her sort were rarely without escorts, and this one was visibly intoxicated.

“Can I help you miss? Are you lost?” Dmitry asked curiously, she shook her head, a wry grin splayed across her features.

“Not at all…. Can I interest you in a bet?” She asked, slurring somewhat, she took a step forward, tripping over her own garments slightly, righting herself and standing before him in the darkness.

“Perhaps. Though it is quite late, and the animals are asleep.” He added, cocking an eyebrow slightly at the woman. His expression turned to shock however, when her hand dipped into the bosom of her dress, revealing a paper note, he was unable to catch the number on the side, but any form of paper money was well worth whatever she asked. She giggled at him, coaxing him forward with a finger, so that if she had wished she would only have to reach out her finger an inch or two to touch him.

“I don’t want the animals. Kiss me and it’s yours.” She spoke with lust on her lips. Dmitry was tense; his mind was a flurry of activity. With that kind of money he could take Pavla into town, get her looked at by a doctor, make sure she was not prone to infection and purchase new, and better ointment. The woman puckered her lips, and Dmitry could not stop himself. He leaned down, taking the woman’s lips against his own; she quickly laced her arms around his neck, pressing her body against his. Dmitry made a noise of protest against her lips, grabbing her wrists and prying her off of him. She laughed, tossing the money at his chest, before turning her back to him.

“I’ll be back for the next show…” She revealed, Dmitry bent down to grab the money, quickly rubbing her scarlet lipstick off of his lips with the back of his hand, being sure that none of it remained before heading back to the tent. He felt dirty and cheap, but unfolding the note on his way back revealed a ten pound note, he couldn’t believe such an amount had come into his hands. Stepping inside the warmth of the tent, Elizabeth smiled up to him. The guilt was written all over his face, but Elizabeth said nothing, standing and collecting her things, giving him a gentle pat on the arm, and exiting to the darkness. He immediately dipped to the cool water which now filled the basin, rising himself off quickly, concentrating on his lips for a moment. He brought the bin outside, tipping out the water, and leaving the metal outside. Feeling more at ease, he removed his costume, tucking his earnings into her small jewelry box. Surely, when they went to town, it would be worth it. He was boiling hot, and did not wish to clothe himself again, preferring to slip beside Pavla nude, letting out a sigh, blowing out the lantern which hung beside them.

Pavla had heard him come in, the small noises he made, now of which she was well aware. He seemed different as she watched him silently, she didn’t think he saw her and that was fine. Before he began washing the faint scent of perfume lingered in the air and was gone. Noticing where he washed, she’d wondered if he’d gotten ill. If he were to become ill they wouldn’t be able to earn their keep and it would be bad. Her thoughts ceased as he undressed, he was beautiful, she thought as he blew out the lantern.

Pavla waited until he was relaxed at her side her arms curled beneath her pillow to give him room. She yawned softly covering her mouth, “Did you have a good night Dmitry?” SHe asked quietly, her brown orbs taking in the male that lay next to her. She pressed her nude body closer, layng her head on his chest so as to feel his heart beat. It was moments like these she enjoyed, but instead of relaxing he seemed to tense. Something was bothering him.

“Did you not do well?” She saw something cross his face, something she never expected, guilt. The memory of the perfume floated in the air taunting her. Pavla grew still, she knew he didn’t love her. Had he lied and instead of working went off with another female. Her insides lurched and she grew sick. Closing her eyes didn’t help, she remembered the night before and the way he looked down up on her on the beach. The desire burning in his eyes, had he desire for another before her and still felt it.

She wanted to tear away from the bed and sob in peace, yet she lay so still and quiet next to him. Perhaps she was jumping to conclusions. Maybe it was all in her head. She chewed on her lip and focused only on the silence that hung in the air. Whatever he’d answered with had fallen on deaf ears. She simply responded, “mmm that’s nice.” Dying inside trying to come up with answers for the perfume, the look of guilt, the shame and the fear she felt at losing him.

She slept. It was neither restful, nor comforting and she was out of bed before dawn. She couldn’t lie there and pretend everything was ok when all she felt was slipping through her fingers. Petre had placed this woman near him and she aimed to remove her. The low light of the lamp as she worked at the stitches wasn’t good but she was sure the fabric she’d added would conceal him more than what he wore before. The shorts were longer and flesh colored giving the allusion that he was nude behind the tiny loincloth. The top she’d made into a vest trimmed in the same fabric his loin cloth and ties were. Sitting it down she worked more on another uniform for herself.

Dmitry lay beside her silently, staring up at the waves and folds of their tent. It was horrible, this feeling inside of him, churning in the pit of his stomach, wracking his brain with what ifs. If he told her, would she understand? He couldn’t be sure, and given how much trauma she had been though, he didn’t want to cause her anymore undo stress. His muscles contracted as she lay against him, unable to hide the feelings which wrapped around his mind, making a visible manifestation against her. When she spoke, he shook his head quickly; laying his hand against her flank comfortingly, but one could feel the twitch in his digits.

“No, No… Everything went fine.” He lied, it was obvious that she did not believe him, and he cursed silently at his own inability to lie. He never had to before, never needing to shield the emotions of another, a strange practice that he never understood until now. Her chastising voice hurt him deeply, but Dmitry did not speak, knowing that even if she was upset now, he had done all of his for her. Taking extra bets, putting himself out there like some desperate fool addicted to morphine would. It was humiliating, but for her, he felt as though he would do anything to improve her situation. Things were silent after this, she fell asleep, and Dmitry did as well, on and off, unable to sleep comfortably with so much information running through his mind. Tomorrow he would hitch up one of the horses and take her into town, get her examined and feed her some real food. This thought comforted him slightly, and he hoped Pavla would forgive his guilty face when she saw how much it brought in.

Morning came, and Dmitry slept right through it, not waking until the sun set high in the sky, the heat within their tent becoming enough to rose him from sleep. Eyes opening, he sat up slowly, yawning into his hand and glancing to the empty spot beside him, frowning slightly before realizing Pavla was upright, sitting in the chair with fabrics splayed around her, needle and thread moving eloquently together. He smiled somewhat, glad she was awake, but the expression on her face made it obvious that she was still not in a good mood. She was terribly perceptive, he thought to himself, rising from the bed and pulling on a pair of simple black trousers, they hung loosely about his hips, taking a step forward and kissing the top of her head gently.

“Good morning.” He spoke softly, hoping that she would at least acknowledge him, wondering if her temper could be just as volatile as his own. He wasted no time in revealing his newly acquired income. Leaving her side to approach the desk and lifting the fabrics in search of her jewelry box. Finding it finally he smiled, pulling open the top of it and pulling out the folded paper, pulling it open so that the full bill was on display.

“I…I won an amazing bet last night. The man gave me this.” He said, holding it out to her with a smile on his face, stepping to her side and bending at the knee so that he could be eye level with her. “I want to take you to the town. You shouldn’t even be out of bed Pavla, we need to be careful. Any infection could be deadly when we travel, and the ointment and doctor that this will pay for…..” He stopped, looking at her face, searching her expression for something that looked like forgiveness.

The soft quilt she’d pulled from her own trunk helped make sitting in the chair bearable, though her heart was sore at the thought that he’d only felt guilty about hiding the money she’d found tucked away in her jewelry box. She hoped that was all it was, perhaps the perfume was an innocent smell something picked up from a gentleman’s clothing, one whose wife doused in perfume gripped his hand and … she stopped. Anything but the truth is what she wanted to believe, watching him sleep she prayed that her intuition was wrong. Pavla longed to curl up beside him, her flesh still tingled from when he’d held her close, though it made her feel like a fool to think that when he stated ‘he cared deeply’ for her he was quite possibly in love with another. She watched him twitch again and sobbed softly into the cloth she held.

Glorianna checked on her quietly bringing her some porridge and tea for breakfast. After a brief break to eat she went back to her sewing. As she sewed her mind ran off many different directions and she hated that it was this way. Her eyes lifted to his form, over the fabric she held in her hands, when he rose. Her eyes moved over him taking every inch of his tan skin into her brain. Her heart quickened its pace as he affected her body in more ways than she wished, now. Dropping her head back to her work along with her gaze, she blushed briefly at her body’s reaction to him. “Morning…” she returned softly.

Watching him curiously, she did not let on that she had already seen what he had tossed in it the night before. She smiled up at him; he was like a child on Christmas that had gotten the exact toy train he’d wished for. His enthusiasm was a bit contagious. She sat down her sewing and took the money from his large hand; she’d never held a bill so large before. She blinked up at him as he told her what he planned on doing with it. “I’m sorry, I promised I’d fix your costume and I have as well as taken in the waist of a few of your pants and patched a couple as well. Plus you acted so strangely I thought something was terribly wrong and I couldn’t sleep.”

She ran her hand over his cheek lightly before pressing her lips to his gently. Knowing, if given the opportunity, she would allow herself to be carried away with her desire to be his in every way. Pulling back she smiled softly, thankful she could feel the tension dissipating, if only for a moment. “A trip to town sounds splendid.” It was then she took a good look at the man that was her husband, before she asked, “But, what amazing bet did you win Dmitry?” There, it came back like a flood. The tension along with that strange look crossed his face. She wasn’t angry, she showed only curiosity mixed with her sadness.

“Before you say it doesn’t matter Dmitry, it does, it matters to me. I want to know.” Her brown eyes burned into his as she shoved a finger at his cheek, the red she thought was a mark from him sleeping on his arm was red stained and greasy, like lipstick, or clown paint. Pulling her fingers up so he could see, she tilted her head. “Are you in love… with another?” Pavla felt as though she couldn’t breathe, she prepared herself for the worst possibility, though she wasn’t sure what it was. Her eyes remained locked on his.

Dmitry noticed then that the fabric she was working on was all his garments, along with a couple of stretchy fabric suits, he realized to be her costumes. They were tiny; he could imagine them stretched over her lithe from, causing his loins to stir uncomfortably. It was no wonder she performed in the main tent, he was sure any man would like to see a girl of Pavla’s caliber so close to being nude. The idea of it made him a bit jealous though, knowing now why Pavla was so opposed to his own revealing attire. He did not make his qualms known though, realizing that any more fabric would probably hinder her act, needing every inch of the small spaces she would fit herself into. With a sigh he smiled, giving her a nod and picking up the fabric in her lap, examining her stitches with an approving look. It was sweet, watching her tend to his garments, feeling as though if she was in her proper health, things would be different. Two incomes with no need for him to over exert or linger behind with the rift raft that hung around the main tent, in search of an evening with one of the performers. He knew that this was a common practice, and given how often they moved around, there was truly nothing that was keeping the performers from acting as such. But Dmitry had never felt the inclination, unless he was approached, and he would never take money from a woman…. He felt compromised, as if some integral part of him was stripped away with Pavla, his dignity stamped on to benefit her. Though, given the exchange between the two at that moment, nothing seemed to be going properly.

“I’m sorry love; I never meant to disrupt your sleep. And thank you for tending to my costume….. I guess I was just excited about the money.” He was spinning quite the web of lies, each one flowing out around the next, and he seemed unable to stop himself. If she knew the truth…..Victor was already within arm’s reach of her, and divulging such information would be like throwing her into his arms. Dmitry refused to lose her over such nonsense. It did not matter where the money came from, only that now it was in his possession, and he could use it to look after his wife.

She took the bill from his hand, his smile widening slightly while she examined the frail paper. She seemed unfazed by it though, causing his smile to falter slightly. But she bent forward, her small hand pressing against the stubble of his cheek tenderly, pulling him forward and grazing a kiss. He gave a small, contented noise against her lips, azure pools fluttering closed and falling into the moment. It was torture, having her so close; there was so much confusion around them since their marriage that the idea of making it true seemed to have fallen by the wayside. Dmitry however wanted nothing more, pulling back from the kiss and pulling his bottom lip between his teeth, unwilling to let the taste of her go. It was becoming a dire situation, this back and forth between them, both so filled with lust, but unable to stifle it. It was causing tension now, and both could feel it, an uncomfortable strain which until it was dealt with, would continue to linger between them.

She agreed to their journey, to which he gave a gentle nod, but followed with an inquiry which caused him to stiffen visibly. He shook his head, but the intensity of her eyes and the demanding tone of her voice made him cringe inwardly. Her finger reached out to his face, swiping the flesh and pulling back, revealing a tinge of deep crimson that he had missed the night before. His pupil’s dilated at the sight of it, looking back up to her face, swallowing thickly. He rose to full height, turning his back to her, running a hand through his hair.

“Well, It’s funny actually…” He started, turning back around, so that he could examine her features. “I was told that if I could lift this gentleman, they would give me ten quid…. I didn’t believe them of course, but did so anyway. He was enormously fat, mind you, but still. I supposed it was some sort of joke, and followed along… But his wife actually gave me the money…and a kiss on the cheek.” He looked sheepishly at the floor, but truthfully, he was afraid there would be anger and disbelief in her eyes. Would she believe him?

“And no, I do not love anyone else Pavla. I took those vows, as you did.” He reassured her, stepping closer and cupping her cheek gently, the warmth of her soft skin causing a tingle to go up his spine. “We live different lives Pavla. I need to do what is necessary to keep us fed and a roof over our heads. If you have a better Idea, please, divulge.” He was curt with her then, not enjoying being accused of not caring for her, and worse, caring for another. He certainly had no interest in the woman who he had kissed, she was merely an income, and that was all.
“Come now, get dressed, well, as much as you can. I’ll hitch up the horse, yes?”

Pavla wanted to scream at him, wished she could muster the courage to do it, but alas, she was weak. Knowing he was lying to her hurt more than the actual lie itself. She had seen his eyes, the way they moved so guiltily about as the wheel of his mind spun to tell her something, anything, but what it truly was. She swallowed the lump that was slowly forming in her own throat, well attempted, for it seemed to rebuild as quickly as discarded. Nodding she played along with his story, knowing this was possibly true but the part about the kiss was not. He looked to the floor, forbidding her to see the lie fluttering in the depths. She allowed herself to smile, though it never really reached her eyes and if asked she would blame it on the pain that coursed through her body.

Sure, they had taken the vows, but at the time, they were neither true, nor were they real to the soon to be mother and the giant she was marrying. NOW she loved him. NOW she cared for him and he, claimed, cared for her. His soft touch helped and she gave him a genuine smile, as the electric shock of her desire was made tangible in his eyes, if only for a moment. A single moment before his words turned harsh. Nothing was worth this, this feeling of doubt he gave her telling her he would do what was necessary. Necessary, did that mean allowing his lips to caress another’s and his arms to hold another close. The torment that befell her at his confession was enough to weigh her down for a lifetime. The way he’d held her and kissed her made the desire well up, time and time again. If he affected her in this way what was not to say he’d affected another.


If he truly cared, he would never allow his body to be in such a way with another. She nodded and as soon as his back disappeared through the opening in their tent, let her tears fall. She shoved off of the chair and moved to the chest that held her clothes. Blurry eyed she reached into the chest. Sliding into a loose green dress, she sank to her knees and dabbed her eyes on a kerchief that had been her fathers. She heard him coming back and darted up to her feet again. The action caused pain to shoot through her back and her eyes welled up again, a mix of pain and sadness. Slowly she slid her small feet into her dainty flats. Already the wounds on her back were seeping and causing her dress to stick. The spare dress she’d grabbed would be to change into after the doctors. The thought of removing the dress seemed painful but it was the only way, she couldn’t go naked to town.

Glorianna braided her hair and pinned it up for her as Elizabeth tried to place gauze between her back and the dress so that the sticking would be minimal. Thanking the women, she waited for help climbing up on the wagon. It was then she saw him glaring at her as he approached.

“What is the meaning of this? Are you leaving Dmitry and taking my only daughter? Did you not stop to think that her mother or I would not approve, is that why you go in secret?” Petre asked petting the muzzle of the old circus horse Dmitry had hooked up to the wagon. His steely eyes focused on the man and then on Pavla.

Pavla turned her head away from Petre and moved to stand as close to Dmitry’s side as she could. Think appendages slid around his waist as she buried her head in the crook of his arm. Forgotten was the feeling that he’d cheated on her and admonished their vows, replaced with a sense of needing his protection.

The tense aura inside the tent was so thick it was palpable, and Dmitry was happy to be rid of it for the moment, venturing off into the sunshine in hunt of a horse. The older mares, whose flanks did not glisten like they once did in the big top, were relegated to hard labour, and stored in a makeshift pen near where they once shone bright. He reached out for the harness on one of them, giving the creature a gentle pat on the nose, leading it by the straps around its long muzzle toward the carriage. He hooked it up swiftly to a small wagon, just enough room for the two of them on its bench, with a small compartment in the back for whatever they may pick up while in town. Dmitry had no plans to inquire any further than the doctors, but he was never one to pass up a good bargain, only to sell it back within the confines of the circus folk for a small profit. It was not as if he held any sort of loyalty to those outside of the sideshow, and taking away from their far less modest earnings was the least he could do given the circumstances.

Finishing hitching the old mare up, he gave it another gentle pat along its muscular neck, tying it onto the fence and making his way back to the tent to retrieve Pavla. It was dark and dank within, and he could immediately make out the puffy redness around her eyes. His heart fell rapidly at the sight, biting his bottom lip gently and motioning with a hand for her to follow him. She rose too quickly though, and he could hear the agony in her voice, immediately going to her side, attempting to help her more upright. Glorianna had heard these cries, and like any good mama bird immediately went to work making their travelling more comfortable. Patching up Pavla’s back and shoving thick quilts into his arms to soften her seat. With a sigh he did as he was told, laying them out as best he could on her side, so that the hour or so they were on the road wouldn’t be completely horrible for her. He saw Elizabeth slip inside as well, helping as best she could, given her stature against the other two women. As much as he appreciated their help, and truly, he did, it was becoming a bit of a nuisance their constant presence. Neither of them truly thought he could look after someone as fragile as Pavla, he could barely look after himself. The thought frustrated him beyond comprehension, determined to make her trip into town a plesant one. Getting out of the darkness within the tent and into the fresh air and sunshine would be good for her, Dmitry thought with a small smile.

Once the preparations were complete Dmitry led her gently to the carriage, his hand placed on her lower back, barely touching, just in case she felt weak and fell. The guilt was driving him mad, seeing Pavla like this was becoming more than he could bear, and seeing her happy and healthy again was all he longed for. Perhaps when she had less to focus on, and was back to her act, things would be different… they would have less time to long for one another, and she to notice what he did with his spare time. He took a deep breath, looking down to her still red eyes sympathetically, offering his arms to her as to help her up onto the now cushioned seat. This however, was quickly stalled by Petre. Dmitry turned to face him, his fists balling instinctively, making the slowly healing blister on his fist to crack. Pavla immediately went to his side, he could feel the warmth of her arms as they wrapped around him, causing his heart to surge with a desire to protect her from this man.

“No, Petre. I’m taking her into town. To see a doctor.” His words were simple and direct, nostrils flaring like an enraged bull about to be let out of its pen. He shoved Petre’s hands away from the horse, flicking its lead up and over the beasts head with the same hand, the other placed gently around Pavla reassuringly. It was strange, they could quarrel and argue and cry over one another, but the moment and outside force intercepted, the pair became inseparable. It made Dmitry feel… useful, something he rarely felt in the past. With renewed vigor he placed his hands on either side of Pavla’s slight waist, lifting her gently onto the carriage before looking back to Petre with a steely gaze.

“She is weak from the blood loss and I fear for an infection. Let me pass, or I swear, if anything happens to her, it will be on your head.” He spoke in a low and menacing voice, leaning closer to the much smaller man “Which I will promptly rip off.” He added, spitting on the ground beside the man, as if being so close to him put a bad taste in his mouth. He did not give Petre a change to respond, climbing up beside Pavla and grabbing the reins, giving them a flick. The horse sprang to life with a whinny, journeying off down the makeshift dirt road toward the sights and smells of the town.

Pavla didn’t look up at Petre she kept her head buried as Dmitry handled the situation. She was glad he was man enough to handle him and even more glad that he was on her side. She felt his hand on her, the touch gave her strength and made her feel safe, it was one of the many reasons she loved him. No one had ever made her feel like this and it was nice. Smiling into his eyes as he lifted her to the carriage seat, the soft quilts in place so she could be comfortable, she wanted to pull his head to her and kiss him. However, in doing so, it could bring further harm to her or Dmitry and she couldn’t chance it. She didn’t focus on the men, but on the face of Glorianna. The anger she saw on her face let her know that she was cared for by more people than just Dmitry.

The jolt the horse gave as it took off caused a little sound of surprise to fall from her lips, but soon she scooted closer to Dmitry leaning a bit on his arm forgetting the problems they had. “Thank you, my love.” No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t stop from loving him, even though she knew she would end up hurting because of it. Pavla didn’t look back, not even to wave to Glorianna and Elizabeth.

“Not my head, yours,” Petre sent back vehemently, “Had you taken your punishment we’d not be having THIS conversation.” The fear Dmitry evoked in Petre would never be shared with anyone. The way Pavla allowed the man to touch her and hold her made him sick. He’d been an amazing lover to her, he thought. He opened his mouth to speak but the buggy was already taking off. “This has yet to be over Dmitry… she is mine!”

Pavla heard him yelling after them, his words made her feel disgusting and dirty. Right now she wasn’t anyone’s. She knew who it was she’d pledged herself and to whom it was she’d given her heart foolishly. Yet if she had it to do all over again, it would have been the same way. She wanted to believe the money came only from a rich man and his rambunctious wife, but the way he avoided her gaze and bristled at the mere mention she knew it was silly to believe it. But, if she wanted to feel the closeness again she would need to allow herself to.

Sitting next to him on the seat, the quilt cushioning the ruts in the muddy road she felt the desire and need to be with him building up in her small body. It was a feeling that could easily cripple her and she didn’t want that, silently she wondered if they would ever find a way to be as one, to be as they should. Even though she wanted him, almost desperately, she wouldn’t be able to, not when her trust in him was shaken. She needed to get it back so that she could truly be his, like she longed to be. “I’ve never been to a doctor,” she confided in him. “I’m a bit scared… you won’t – won’t leave me, will you?”

The little buggy bounced and jostled along the path, and without any sort of protection from the sun above, he could feel the sweat beading on his forehead, quickly wiping the moisture from his brow, turning his attention to Pavla as she spoke. He smiled slightly at her, his hand leaving the worn leather of the reins to take her small digits in his, giving them a gentle squeeze, trying to reassure her. Truthfully, he also had not seen the inside of a doctor’s office, only knowing what he had been told, the magic that a trained professional could work on someone who was close to death, if you could afford it. “Science” they called it, an odd practice still, but one that definitely transcended history. They spoke of some miracle drug, penicillin they called it, which could starve off any infection in any kind of wound. Dmitry was determined to get some of this for her. When she asked if he would leave her, he looked surprised. No man would leave his wife unattended in the hands of some quack, regardless if he was a practitioner or not. He was still a man, after all.

“No.. No of course not. I will stay right by your side.” He said softly, giving her hand another gentle squeeze, before letting it go and returning to the task at hand, giving the reins a quick snap, jostling the horses into action. They rode for quite some time, mostly in silence; he suspected that she was still weak, unable to keep up much conversation. With that, was of course the new found tension around where exactly the money came from. He couldn’t tell her the truth, he quickly resolved, as their marriage was already a sham… anything that would force her back into the controlling grasps of Petre was not something that he wanted to tamper with. No, he would try to be kinder, gentler to her, more… dear he contemplate, loving? He breathed heavily through his nostrils, lost in thought as they journeyed down the worn, dirt path which would take them into town. Before he knew it, they were there.

It was little more than a western style stop over, but it had a general store, saloon, many haphazard houses splayed all over in every color, and of course, the doctor’s office. It was directly across the street from the Saloon, which Dmitry found to be quite fitting, since before he joined the circus, he caused many injuries to come flowing out of the doors. They rolled into town without too much attention; their pale mare approached the front of the building, rolling to a stop with a whinny from the great beast. It was only when Dmitry rose, standing to full height beside the horse as to tie it on an outcropping wooden harness strap. Many glances from behind fans, men talking quietly to one another, an a general hush over the area follow them into town. It was a rarity, he knew, to see circus folk outside, especially one of the sideshow members. He hated it, the distain, and the fear which he and his kind brought on in public places. But remaining silent, he dipped beneath the reins which he hand just tied, standing on her side of the carriage, extending his large hand, deep blues finally rising to greet her.

“Come, let’s get you inside.”

Pavla let the hand he released fall to his leg and settled it there on top of the soft fabric of his trousers. She leaned more into his side, reassured that he would not leave her there alone. Quietly she watched his face the different things going over it and she dropped her gaze. Pavla feared he would give her back to Petre, even though she loved him she feared deep down he would never love her in the same way. Perhaps that night on the beach was only because he was a man. What man would turn down a woman that threw herself at him? The thought made her sick and her brain stalled thinking of the kind of woman that had left lipstick on his cheek. What kind of woman threw herself at a married man, his ring was there for all to see, she knew if a man had done that to her or if she’d kissed a man on his cheek Dmitry would be just as upset, if not more.

She blinked back her tears as she noticed the dusty little town coming into view. She sat up away from him and pulled her hands into her lap. The looks they received caused her to blush. She reached out to him as he came to her side and first rubbed his cheek, “It’ll be fine.” She nodded and drew her hand back to his and closed her eyes as he helped her to the dusty road.

The door to the place opened with a slight jingle of a bell and a woman in white greeted them, her voice was gentle as she said her hello and turned to another doorway. A man came out and glanced at them before giving them a worried gaze, he didn’t want trouble and this kind of people always brought trouble. “How can I help you?” He asked his gaze moving between them. He saw how she walked and knew something was wrong.

“We can pay… I just need my lashings looked at,” She knew he was worried about payment and relief seemed to flood his face as the nurse stepped forward nodding her head toward a room.

The doctor smiled slightly unsure of whether to believe the woman and the giant man she was with. “Let’s get you in there and I’ll see what the problem is. I’m Doctor Merrill and this is Nurse Helen. If you’ll have a seat up there I can start the examination.” He caught a glimpse of her back and wondered if the man that now brought her here was to blame, he pushed the thought out of his head, if the woman was willing to be with this sort of man; she certainly had some skeletons of her own.

He brushed the man aside and tugged at her dress revealing her back fully to him. “How did this happen? HELEN, I need you in here!” He looked at Dmitry with disdain and mistrust ushering Pavla to her stomach on the table where he cut away her dress and examined her bare backside. His hands deftly removed the gauze the women had placed to keep the dress from sticking so bad. His eyes followed the lines from her shoulders to the curve of her rump. “This will hurt.” he set to opening the wounds and irrigating them before he’d fill the gauges full of antibiotics and salve and then bandage her up.

Pavla held her hand out for Dmitry’s, fear shown in her brown eyes as she whimpered. The cool air rushing over her skin was rather painful. Now as she was lain out on the table before the doctor and the nurse she worried it was worse than she thought. They began irrigating the wounds and the actions caused her to scream as they ripped the scabs from her back and a cold fluid was run over them. Once they finished with that task, she was only able to whimper and squeeze her eyes shut as he began injecting her skin with medicine and laying on thick layers of cold salve. The bandages went from her shoulders to her small backside. She had no tears left for the pain she felt, each new sensation worse than the one before it.

Dmitry stooped his head and shoulders forward, squeezing within the small doors of the office, righting himself once inside, though still felt that the space was just too small for him. Azure orbs scanned his surroundings, taking in all the glass an deeply lacquered wood, he knew doctors made a lot of money, but this man obviously had more than he knew what to do with. Everything smelt of antiseptic and ammonia, it made his nose burn and feel slightly headlight.

His attentions were quickly diverted when the pair was greeted, a young woman in a stark white dress smiling, though he could see behind her ruby lips a twitch of fear. Dmitry was unfazed by this however, having become used to women, especially townsfolk, giving him a heaping dose of discrimination. Talking a deep breath, he forced something that resembled a smile across his face, but was happy when Pavla took the lead and spoke with the pair of medical professionals. They seemed slightly more at ease when she told them of their funds, moving them into another smaller space, forcing Dmitry to duck yet again.

He watched silently as they brought her up onto the cold examination table, his eyes intently locked on where the doctor’s hands travelled. He seemed to linger a little too long on the slim rise of her shoulders to Dmitry’s liking, but knew he was just being overzealous. His reaction however, was not what Dmitry expected. He was seemed shocked by the damage to her back, calling in the nurse, pushing him aside so that Dmitry could not see exactly what was going on, could only hear the snipping of scissors and the mewls of pain out of Pavla. His heart pounded, worried that he had waited too long too long to bring her in, that it was far worse than they had first perceived.

Shuffling to the side, he stepped around the pair as they worked on her, bringing Pavla’s wounds back to life and splashing them with cold water, he could see the pain on Pavla’s face, his heart ached for her, taking her hand tightly in his when she offered, it, stroking her hair back from her face, trying to smooth the tears from her cheeks, but they continued to flow until the doctor had reopened each of her deep lashes, filling them with clean fluid, then coating them in a milky looking paste. His heart continued to pound, it felt as though they had been in there for hours, but the large wall clock said it had been less than even one.

A shaky breath left his lips, having to release Pavla’s hand so that the doctor was able to move her about, wrapping her around and around in thin cotton gauze, so that it covered almost her entire torso. Eventually the doctor turned away from Pavla, leaving the remaining wraps in the capable hands of his nurse, washing his hands and turning his attention to Dmitry.

“She should be fine… I only saw small signs of surface infection, nothing deep or inflamed. These dressings need to be changed at least every second day, washed with antibacterial soap and then wrapped back up again.” He spoke while he moved about the small room, opening cupboards and collecting supplies for them. Dmitry opened his mouth to speak, raising a hand as if to stop the doctor’s movements.
“We… we only have so much, Doctor.” His voice was soft, a deep shame filled his usually strong timbre, pulling the crumpled bill from his pocket and offering it to the practitioner. The doctor shook his head, continuing to collect gauze and a bar of strangely yellow soap.
“Never mind that. I’ve seen many injuries in my time. But never such a beating on a woman, and certainly not a white one.” The doctor’s eyes were filled with scrutiny. “Clearly she needs someone to look after her.” His voice was venomous, but calm. Dmitry glared at the man, how he challenged him. But Pavla was his wife, and he wasn’t about to take being spoke to like that.

“This was NOT my doing.” Dmitry barked back at him, the nurse visibly jumping at the tone of his voice, finishing pinning Pavla’s dressings before collecting the supplies the doctor had and taking them to the front to be packaged. “The circus is a completely different world from what you’re used to. I wouldn’t expect someone like you to understand.” He tossed the money on the table closest to where the doctor stood, his eyes falling on Pavla again, softening slightly when they met with the saddened, puffy brown eyes of his bride. “Come.. let’s go home.” He offered his arms to her help her to her feet, but the doctor interrupted once again.

“You can’t. She needs stitches, anything less and her back will never heal properly.” He demanded, coming closer to Pavla. “In their current state, her wounds are inflamed, and I cannot stitch them until the antibiotics have had a chance to work. Stay in one of the rooms above the clinic, I won’t charge you.” He offered. Dmitry huffed, shaking his head quickly, having never liked staying in town, or any acts of charity. But the doctor seemed to have a particular interest in Pavla… She was beautiful, and gave of an air of delicacy and neediness; something any man would use to feed his ego. Some things however, were more important than male ego… Pavla’s health was on the line, and he wasn’t about to take that from her to save his dignity.

So his eyes fell to hers questioningly, he would never force her to leave, and had said before that he would stay by her side no matter what.

“Do you want the stitches? I’m sure he knows what he’s talking about.” Dmitry said softy to her, both he and the doctor seemed eager for her answer.

Pavla was happy he took her hand and sad when the doctor made them release. She ran her thumb over the back of his hand and gave his fingers a squeeze. It had felt like hours that she lay there, them torturing her back she wasn’t sure about the time it took but was glad it was over. Smiling at Dmitry, she watched as the doctor pulled out supplies for them and instructed Dmitry, she was ready to go home and curl up in their bed holding him close. Her heart was loud in her ears as the interchange took place; she sitting up so the woman could wrap her and help with her clean dress. Facing them she opened her mouth to speak but saw Dmitry doing so and stopped herself as he spoke up. The nurse lady moved away taking with her the supplies.

Blinking up at him slowly she nodded; a soft smile crept across her pale face as she thought about moving forward to take his hand in hers. Pavla wanted his strength, needed it in this moment of weakness. She reached out to him, the smile wider as she anticipated his gentle touch. Gasping she turned her attention to the doctor, the smile gone. Stitches? They needed to sew her shut; she looked between the two men. Using his arms, she slid from the table to the floor and took Dmitry’s hand. A shiver of delight ran up her arm as she laced her small fingers with his much larger. Her brown eyes looked up into the oceanic depths. “As long as I am able to heal and it does not cost us, I should to ensure that I am well.”

Turning her attention to him, his brilliant smile was more than she could handle. Blushing she turned away. “Could I go home with my husband and come back for the stitches...?” Even before she had finished the question, the man was already shaking his head. Pavla swallowed hard as the man took her small hand between his larger and patted it gently. She pulled her hand back, placed it on Dmitry’s forearm and stepped closer, resting her head on his bicep. She wasn’t interested in the doctor though he was trying hard to get her to that point.

“We will take good care of you, my dear.” His smile widened toward her and dimmed down some as he looked at Dmitry. “I can show you to the room, the bed is small as they are only made for one normal-sized person. But I can see what we can do.”

Pavla narrowed her eyes at the man as he led them out the door, down the hall and up a set of stairs I the back. Pavla walked ahead of Dmitry but kept her grip on his hand. The man went on speaking of bringing them food while they stayed and checking on them. The man made her worry not Dmitry wouldn’t allow any funny business. The room he led them to had walls and a door, Pavla couldn’t remember ever sleeping in a place with hard walls and a door. The bed was a little narrower than Dmitry’s and had a foot board but the man left them and was soon dragging in another mattress.

Pavla would have Dmitry drag her mattress to the floor next to his; she wasn’t going to sleep away from him in this strange place. The man smiled, said he’d return with dinner and left them alone. “I will not be sleeping in that bed without you. I am nervous here but healing is best for both of us.” she rubbed his hand and lifted her head to his; coaxing his head down she kissed him softly. I do not want that man I only want you, nothing he could ever do will make you diminish in my eyes. I know you are not comfortable here, thank you for staying with me. I am sorry… about before. I love you and I trust you. I am yours and will not doubt you.”

Dmitry gripped her hand tightly, fearing deep inside him that at any moment, she may be stolen away from him. The tenderness in her smile helped him cope, but still he could feel his heart pounding, unrelenting. With a nod he silently followed behind Pavla, she seemed to be doing much better now that her wounds were wrapped by a professional, her gait a little less shaky than it was before. This comforted him, knowing that as much as he disliked being in town, the results spoke for themselves. It truly was the best thing.

Ducking again as they entered the small room, he looked around slowly, taking in painted walls and lacquered floor, shocked that the doctor would allow them to stay in such a space for free. It seemed odd to him. Too curious was this man, far too generous as well. Something was not right.

Dmitry was pulled from his thoughts then, watching the young man pull another equally sized mattress into the room, dressing it in blankets before giving a gentle incline of his head.

“I will send Helen up to check on you in the morn, but I suspect that the stiches will not be able to go in until the day after. Do not worry though, once they are in you won’t need such heavy bandages…. Try to rest.” He smiled weakly, glancing to Dmitry and seeing the distain in his eyes, only causing him to widen his smile before exiting. He let out a breath, finally allowing his eyes to fall on Pavla. Her hair was still pinned from the day before, soft tendrils fell around her face. He could never truly fathom why she loved him, but at that moment, he cared for no other more than her.

And yet, he still could not bring the word to pass his lips to her, as if when it did, the world would collapse around them. But here, away from the circus, away from Petre and her mother… perhaps he could allow himself the indulgence. Dmitry knew she craved to hear it from him. Still, he hesitated.

She was glad when she spoke, giving a gentle nod to her command, indeed, he wouldn’t be sleeping away from her either. Making a motion to pull the other mattress to the floor, he was instead pulled down into her gentle kiss. He let the breath escape his lungs, breathing in her scent instead, enjoying the momentary kiss, before she pulled back, his hands rested gently on her hips, as not to aggrevate the bandages wrapped about her. She spoke again, and he smiled gently, shaking his head and pulling her into his chest, kissing the top of her head.

“No… Of course not, do not be sorry for anything. This will be all over soon, I promise you… and we can go back home, get back to our normal lives… and try to build one together.” He paused, hearing love on her lips again, biting his own bottom one, feeling that same tightness in his chest when she said it. He pulled back, giving her another small kiss on the lips, before going to the bed and pulling the mattress and blankets from it, setting it flush with the one already on the floor.

“Come, let us sleep…. You need your rest.” He spoke softly to her, pulling his shirt over his head, tossing it on the empty bedframe. He came closer to her then, raising his hands to the buttons of her dress and pulling each of them apart. One could easily see how they shook, his hands trembled with the lack of alcohol in his system, but he did not mention it, instead pushing her dress from her shoulders, kissing the flesh of her neck, as the rest of her torso was essentially covered in bandages. Picking her up gently and laying her back on the cool sheets, before joining her on them, pulling the thick quilt over their forms.

“Sleep well Darling… I will be right here, I promise.” Even as he spoke these words, one could hear the commotion across the street, music faintly through the thin walls, calling to him with the siren song of liquor. He pushed it from his mind, closing his eyes and holding her close… he would not leave her tonight.

Pavla relaxed against his chest he was so warm and her heart swelled. The butterflies swarmed and flitted about in her stomach. Smiling up at him, she wrapped her small arms around his waist, building a life together sounded good. She knew enough not to expect him to say it, it broke her heart knowing she loved him and he only cared for her, was she fooling herself by thinking it was enough? She nodded up to him, “Building a life with you Dmitry would be wonderful.” She relaxed her grip on him and accepted his kiss. Her lips tingling when he left her to fix her mattress on the floor with his.

She watched how he carefully adjusted the bed before pulling his shirt off. Her lip trembled as her eyes flitted over his flesh; the memory of him pressed to her on the beach caused her cheeks to go red. She wanted him so badly that she ached for him, her small body quivering as he approached and began to unbutton her dress. Her hands steadied herself on his sides caressing his skin. She watched his hands shake and thought that perhaps it was nerves, she didn’t think of it being the lack of alcohol. Pavla moaned softly when his lips kissed her neck, she tilted her head as the dress fell, pooling at her feet. “Dmitry…” She whispered as he lifted her to place her on the mattress gently.

Dark brown eyes filled with desire stared down at her hands as he readied himself for bed. Sliding closer to him, she wrapped her arms around him as he pulled her closer. “I’m glad you are here my love, sleep well as well. Her head resting on his heart she curled into his larger form and quickly fell to sleep.

The rap to the door scared her a bit, as the friendly nurse stepped into the room and placed a tray on the table. Laughing the woman helped her into a chair. “Taking to the floor I see…” Pavla could see the unspoken question but kept silent, her eyes falling on her husband as the woman unwrapped her bandages to look at her wounds. “Everything looks better; I’ll wash these and add more cream then we’ll rewrap you.”

Clenching her hands in her lap together, she winced and reached for Dmitry as the woman peeled off her dressings. When the nurse turned her back she dipped down and brushed her lips over his, “Good morning,” she whispered and smiled softly slipping back up into the chair.

“Bathroom is at the end of the hall if you need to relieve yourself,” the nurse stated tilting her head before beginning to wash Pavla’s back free of the creams and the germs away. Closing her eyes, she sat stoic as the woman did her task.

Dmitry was startled into wakefulness by the knock on the door, pulling himself upright as the nurse let herself in, helping Pavla to her feet and onto a nearby chair, beginning to cut away at the cotton wrapped around her. Dmitry could hardly stand having her body so hidden from him with the wrappings, eager for the time when she would be healed completely…. Having come so close to a true moment of lust on the beach, he longed to finish that moment with her. However, in the current condition she was in, he was not so immature as to entertain such thoughts. She needed his care, and affection, not his body.

He felt a little odd, being so under clothed in front of the nurse. It wasn’t really a sensible thought, he realized, as he wore even less when he performed, and that was in front of far more women than just this one nurse, who he was sure had seen her fair share of nude men. Still, in this intimate setting, it was unsettling for him.

Pavla distracted these thoughts for him with the brush of her lips, stealing a kiss from him when the lady’s back was turned. He grinned at her, amused with the childlike antics, but it was endearing, and he found himself caught up in the moment, taking her hand in his and giving it a gentle squeeze before rising to his feet, taking his shirt from where he had tossed it the night before. The nurse visibly tensed when he stood, Dmitry furrowed his eyebrows as she spoke, but nodded, giving another small smile to Pavla, before exiting the room and making a bee- line down the hall.

Once the bathroom door was closed behind him, Dmitry let out a deep breath, it shuddered in his chest, rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands. His vision was blurring, and felt as though his skin might melt off. The withdrawals were becoming unbearable…. Dmitry didn’t know how much more he could take of the banging headache or the fever or the trembling… it was becoming far, far too much for him to bear. And with the saloon just across the street… He wanted to scream, and force these feelings from inside him. She needed him, he kept repeating to himself and splashing water in his face in an attempt to rid himself of the fever, it did not work for long.

He remained in the bathroom for some time, making use of the facilities and cleaning himself up, so one might not notice the beads of sweat on his forehead. It was an unbearably hot day for spring regardless, so perhaps no one would notice? Taking another deep breath, he returned to Pavla, finding her with fresh bandages and looking no worse for wear.

“Are you feeling any better yet, darling?” He asked with the most solid tone he could muster.

Her eyes opened enough to watch him go, her heart pounding against her chest, as she feared momentarily that he would leave her here. Perhaps he’d found that being with her was too much work that neither of them had asked for at all. She gave him one last smile and then returned to closing her eyes and clenching her hands together in her lap.

“You truly love him… it is sad that he doesn’t love you back, though he should, I mean the doctor could talk of no one else since you arrived. That man cares for you but not in the way a husband should.”

Pavla bit down on her tongue, the pain from the washing and the words stung deeply. What business was it of hers to poke around in their marriage? Neither asked for this, but she wouldn’t give her the satisfaction. “He does love me and that is all that matters.” The laugh of the nurse was hurtful as she rewrapped her body and then left without further comment.

She sat in the chair, tears dripping down her soft face. Feeling him enter she dried her face and turned to face him. “I am feeling a bit better but I will be glad when I can leave here.” She noticed he was a bit green around the edges. His dark hair attempting to hide him from her view. “Are you feeling well Dmitry?” She knew asking was feeble at best since he would deny otherwise. She held the smile upon her lips and lifted a piece of toasted bread to him. “Eating will help you keep your strength. I believe the doctor will be up later this afternoon so we can eat and rest some more, if you’d like.”

Nodding to the windows the room contained, “We could open those and get some fresh air in here if you’d like. Or if you want to go for a walk I’m sure I will be fine for just a bit.” she spread blackberry jam onto her toast and took a bite, her soft brown eyes rolled back into her head as she moaned softly. “Mm Dmitry, you must try this.” She held up her toast to him while she sipped from the orange juice on the tray.

Frowning a bit she chewed her lip a moment attempting to form the sentence she knew needed to be asked. “Is it the alcohol my love that is causing you such discomfort?” They hadn’t been married but a week and yet she had a hunch it was what was eating at him currently, she hadn’t a clue how it affected someone.

As she spoke to him he could see the puffiness of her eyes, still moist from recent tears. He was unsure of whether or not the tears were caused by him or the nurse. It pained Dmitry to know that he caused her such pain, and truthfully, he had not meant for any of it…. But the closeness she was seeking from him, Dmitry was unsure he was even capable of. With a sigh he decided not to linger on the thought, instead trying to smile for her, to keep her spirits high, and not allude to his own discomfort.

However, when she raised the bread to his lips, he could not part them, no matter how he urged himself, the idea of eating at that moment was unbearable. It made his stomach churn, turning his face away from the proffered morsel, looking down at the ground with a sudden heave, putting a balled fist to his lips to prevent himself from vomiting.

“No… I do not feel very well at the moment. Perhaps I am catching something.” He lied, knowing exactly what caused his flip flopping stomach, the same thing that cause his hands to tremble and body to sweat.
“I don’t need the doctor… I’ll be fine, truly” He forced a smile on his lips, urging her to eat. If anyone needed to keep their strength up, it was her. There was a remarkable light which emanated from her now, as she healed… like a small, smoldering ember beginning to catch, to glow with vigor and life. If anything were to help him break his drinking streak, it would be seeing her, happy and comfortable. So when she questioned his drinking, Dmitry was unsure of how to proceed.

“Well… No, not specifically the alcohol… more so the lack of alcohol.” He tried to force a smile on his lips, sitting down on the mattress on the floor. He pushed his long locks from his face; looking up to her deep browns as she chewed on her toast, seeming more curious in expression than accusing. It was comforting to know she did not accost him for his trouble with the drink, but wished to know more.

“It calls to me… Pulls at my mind, causes me sickness… I have tried many times to leave it behind… But I have never been strong enough.” He sighed heavily, unable to look back up to her lovely face, fearing it would bear an expression of disgust.

“I do not know why I need it so… But if I am to become any sort of husband for you… I cannot continue down this path, I know this.” He looked up to her then, Seeing she was finished with her eating and took her hand in his, ushering her to sit with him upon the mattress.

“This.. sickness, It will probably be worse before it gets better. I will try to contain myself, I promise, but I cannot guarantee I won’t say something to hurt you, or leave the room without warning. I just need you to trust me.” He raised her hand to his mouth, brushing the knuckles with his lips, eyes searching hers for answers.

Pavla lowered the toast away as she watched her husband seemingly turn slightly green. Worry entered her brown eyes as she gazed upon him. She didn’t want to eat; she wanted to take care of him, no matter how he urged her. She brushed a hand against his cheek, lovingly before continuing to eat. She couldn’t help but worry about him, she loved him. When he answered her about the alcohol, she smiled up at him softly, happy that he trusted her enough to tell her the truth of what he was going through. Silently she listened to him and wondered if she could be strong enough to help him through his trouble. Her eyes held his gaze as long as he allowed her to. She knew he felt embarrassed and it killed her.

She finished eating, only able to eat a piece of toast and drink the glass of orange juice. Her hand slid easily into his strong grasp. Trusting him, she stood and with his help made it to the bed. Sliding onto the mattress next to him, she gave his hand a squeeze and relaxed against his side. His large arm was warm and provided her comfort as they sat. She nodded her head, understanding what he was telling her. Fearing what the worst could be, she had been beneath him in their bed when he had been angry before. She remembered the heat that had burned between them and the moans that left her lips.

Her thoughts broke free as his lips pressed to the back of her hand as her brown eyes met his. “I do trust you Dmitry but I need you to trust me as well. Just remember what happened the last time you left me alone. I… I don’t want Victor, Petre or the doctor. I want you, only you and when I tell you that you need to believe me.” She stroked his cheek with her other hand, “I love you and I am not scared to help you, I want to help you so that we can build a life together and be fully married. I am your wife and you are my husband.” She sighed softly thinking of the words of the nurse.

“People question me, I don’t like that and I want this to work.” She pushed herself up into his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. “I think you want this to work,” Perched in his lap put a slight strain on her but it was what she wanted, closeness. “If you didn’t want this to work you wouldn’t tell me about how the alcohol affected you and you wouldn’t ask me to trust you.” She was leaning in to kiss him tenderly when the doctor entered without knocking.

“Oh, sorry to interrupt,” he didn’t look sorry at all. “You can’t do that here. I wouldn’t want to see Pavla hurt any more than she already is by your hand.” He frowned, “Anyway, I’m just checking in. You, my dear need to eat and keep up your strength. My nurse says your back is healing fine and you should be able to go home by the end of the week.” His hand clenched on the back of the chair as he stared at the female and male. Pavla clung to Dmitry hating the way the doctor stared at her. “Are there any questions you might need me to answer?”

Dmitry held a breath when she sat in his lap, wrapping his arms around her as gently as he could, supporting her slight weight in his laps. A small smile flashed on his lips when she spoke of helping him, unsure if he could even help himself. Many years had passed, and many bottles of liquor emptied into his gullet. It would take time to cure him of this affliction.

“I… I know you want no other, Pavla… “He paused, brushing her soft cheek with his fingertips, the smooth flesh causing a shiver to run up his spine. “I could have never dreamed… even hoped to have dreamed….” He paused, unable to finish the sentence, instead curling the soft locks which had escaped its restrains around his fingers, thinking silently as she reassured him.

“Of course I want this to work… No woman has ever felt this way for me, surely you must know this.” His voice was soft but serious, it was clearly painful for him to speak of such emotional matters, men did not usually share such feelings, even with wives, but his barriers were beginning to falter.

“And… I have never felt this way for any woman…Pavla, I think I lo-“His speech was cut off promptly, just as their lips had begun to graze, when he could feel the heat of her breath on his. Dmitry cursed silently, but did not speak, preferring to let a more feral growl escape as the Doctor continued to speak down to him, entering without knocking. He had just about enough of this pompous quack, and was pleased to hear they could leave soon. However, the painful process of stitching Pavla up was still in order.

“Well she may be healing well, but does that also mean she no longer needs sutures?” He asked gruffly, glancing up to the doctor then back to Pavla, but still holding her in his lap. If this professor of medicine was unwilling to honour basic privacy, he wasn’t about to be civil.

The doctor released the back of the chair, striding back to the doorway and standing there for a moment before commenting.

“No, I’m sure she still needs to be stitched, but perhaps far less now given how well she’s fairing, no help to you I’m sure.” The doctor spat.

“I’ll send up the nurse with some morphine and hot water. Get her to drink the lot of it, and then we will perform the sutures. They will remain for another week after you go, but should fall out on their own.” He spoke quickly, pulling a notepad out of his breast pocket and scribbling something down before tucking it away and giving a slight incline of his head.

“No strain on the patient.” He said sternly, before turning to leave, shutting the door somewhat loudly behind him.

She’d heard him start to say it, those words she longed to have him say. Not caring what the doctor said she wanted her husband and if things felt right, she’d have him as soon as she felt she could. Excitement at the prospect of going home she smiled at Dmitry her fingers lifting to cup his cheek as best as her small hand could do.

Pavla knew Dmitry was tense, she felt it the second the doctor spoke, the doctor was unwilling to believe that he’d NOT had a hand in her lashing. The fact that her father did was horrendous enough and she knew, even though he had the strength, Dmitry would NEVER hurt her.

Sad brown eyes watched the doctor move across the room, away from them. His mannerisms were very peculiar. Her body tensed as the doctor, once again accused him. She stamped down her anger and prayed that her husband could do the same. She clung to him, needing him so much. She wondered what the hot water would be for, maybe a bath?

She so wanted a bath, but she’d prefer it to be in the arms of her love and not alone. Smiling she gazed up at him, “We get to go home soon. I don’t like it back home but at least you aren’t accused of hurting me there.” She ran her nose along his jaw and laughed softly. “What if the patient wishes to be strained… he didn’t take that into account.”

She ran her hands through his hair, tugging slightly at the longish length. “He doesn’t see how I could love someone like you and I don’t see how I could not. I never knew that you’d not been loved before, I can’t imagine that…” Well she hadn’t been loved either, he’d almost told her but the words never did come out, she didn’t wish to push the issue and upset him.

“I’m happy you know… because when you do love me it will be our first, together.” She touched her lips to his briefly, not wanting the nurse to catch them and report back to the doctor. Resting her head against his chest she spoke softly, “I miss Elizabeth and Glorianna and all the other ‘freaks’ we live with.”

Dmitry let out a breath as the doctor left, turning his attention back to Pavla, he wanted nothing more than to leave this sordid place as soon as possible, surely the circus grounds were somewhat barbaric, but the comfort of those who surrounded them made it all the more bearable. Here, away from those who would vouch for them, encased in strangers, Dmitry felt more uncomfortable than ever. Coupled with the desire to protect Pavla from anything and everything who wished to do her harm, Dmitry was almost at wits end.

Her sly words however, caused an entirely different kind of pounding in his chest. Strain? Oh, Dmitry longed for nothing more than to cause her a little bit of the aforementioned. To hear it from her lips though, was surprising, he raised an eyebrow inquisitively, a smirk crossing his lips.

“Oh really? Well little lady, we will have to get you stitched and healed as soon as possible… after which, I’ll be more than happy to help you with such.” He grumbled lustfully, returning her nuzzles with some of his own, dappling small kisses along her throat, his free hand which was not supporting her taking to grazing along her upper thigh slowly.

Her words still danced around in his head however, wondering what such a union would be like. Love… could it truly make it that much better? Of course had women in his bed before… but that was merely lust, and most of the time, highly inebriated. Love… and lack of booze, could prove to be a completely different kind of experience. Something which Dmitry was all too ready for.

He rose his head toward the door when it jostled again, getting tired of these constant interruptions to his ministrations. The nurse smiled with a bowing of her head, carrying a tray with a large bowl of steaming hot water and a small ceramic cup, setting on the table before motioning for Pavla to sit on the chair. Dmitry relinquished his grip on her, but watched closely as the nurse took some of the hot water and poured it into the cup, giving it a gentle stir before handing it to Pavla.

“Here, drink this dear, its powdered morphine. Might make you feel a little stomach sick, but the stitches will be far less painful.” The nurse added, and with that, began to thread her needle, which had a vicious looking curve to it, before soaking the lot of it in the large basin, to soften up the thread.

“Take off your dress dear, and we can get this over with as quickly as possible.”