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Mistress Legacy · (This post was last modified: 10-11-2011 07:33 PM by Mistress Legacy.)

I would like to know, from everyone that reads my posts and/or threads I have made with other people.

What do you think of my writing style? I'm slightly changing it as I go because I'm still working on how I use detail. but I need to know, what do you think? What do you think I need to improve on? What am I doing right and what am I doing wrong.

"Weed" · (This post was last modified: 09-30-2011 10:42 PM by "Weed".)

Alright, the one thing that stuck out the most is the fact that you repeat yourself frequently. This can, unfortunately, sometimes be misinterpreted as illiteracy. Also, cut back on the similes and type, not like how you speak, but how you want others to read your work.

Mistress Legacy · 10-01-2011, 02:37 AM

Okay thanks

Nihilistic_Impact · 10-02-2011, 04:46 PM

I would actually disagree on the typing as you speak. If you can get a very good conversational story tone then you are very likely to draw people in. Though I think you also need to step back and and think more about your word choice as you tend to start every sentence the same way. It disrupts the narrative.

You should try to start each sentence in a paragraph with a different word, not a hard rule of thumb; but a good one.

king_bakal · 10-06-2011, 11:08 PM

I'll be honest, I only read the first paragraph and one thing I noticed is the super fast pace of the stoytelling. Be more descripted. Imagine your readers as blind people. Make them see the picture without them seeing it. The way you write, it's like you're just showing the movie sequence and not showing the movie itself. Constructive criticism only my friend Smile

Mistress Legacy · 10-10-2011, 11:32 PM

Thanks for all the good advice. I'll take this into concentration. But do also read my other work. That little thing I wrote was just some little blur that I work. Go though my threads and tell me what you think. Thanks

Ghostsforlunch · 10-11-2011, 04:39 PM

I tried to edit your three paragraphs down to a more digestible form. I couldn't do it. The most important advice I can give you at this point in time is write every post and then read it to yourself out loud. As the others have said, you have lots of repetition, poor use of poetic devices (mostly simile), and for heaven's sake typos.

After reading it out loud, edits should be apparent. If it reads satisfactorily to you, run it through a spell check. Many players consider this an issue of manners. It is unlikely you will put much care into your posts if you don't even bother to spell check.

Reading other player's posts help to some extent. Form RP posts tend to be individualistic and conform to different conventions. Still, reading is the cornerstone to solid writing.

Mistress Legacy · 10-11-2011, 07:33 PM

I have the problem with typos. Thank you for your advice.

Razgriz · 10-14-2011, 10:50 PM

If there's one thing I notice, it's that you don't really put a lot of detail into your own character's state of emotion. You seem to simply state what they're doing and not really emphasizing how it's making them react/feel. From my own experience, this creates a lack of dimensionality in a character.

Just my two cents.

Mistress Legacy · 10-15-2011, 01:48 AM

I'll try to do that more, but it's hard when I don't get that back from my partners at times. Thank you

Mistress Legacy · 07-18-2012, 07:42 AM

bump

Kadavro · 07-18-2012, 08:07 AM

I'll let you know in a bit. Wish to narrow down the field to any period of time?

Mistress Legacy · 07-19-2012, 09:42 AM

Uh...not really sure, just either role play with me and see some things and then go from there.

Kadavro · 07-19-2012, 10:14 AM

Alright. May I ask if your stated dislike for playing older partners means that you wish to play the younger males vignette in your list? Also, are there any minks you currently have for m/m that one should know about?

Mistress Legacy · 07-19-2012, 10:32 AM

When it comes to girls, I'm always the younger one because I can't stand being with guys that are younger than me. When I play males I can do both because I know what a girl wants when it comes to sexual role plays and I read a lot of yaoi

***darkangel76*** · 07-19-2012, 11:03 AM

If this is going to turn into a discussion where you guys are determining an RP, please take it to PMs instead as it no longer is pertinent to ConCrit then. Thanks.

Mistress Legacy · 07-19-2012, 02:17 PM

I'm not sure how it got that way, but it was suppose to be for people to comment on my writing. I should have my partners see this thread.