What WriteMood is Writing

Some of you may know I'm a writer. Unfortunately, it isn't as easy of a task as people seem to think. Every waking moment is often used trying to finish this story, write a plot for that one, keep up with promo, remember to make an appearance online here. Very hard to keep track of it all! :huh:

I got another contract last Monday from a different publishing company than I usually work for. Maybe, Baby, a military based romantic short, was accepted within two days of submission and is slated for release in October through Secret Cravings Publishing.

Yay! Except ACK! Because now I have two books to promote in October. (I also have Midnight Masquerade in Evernight Publishing's Midnight Seductions Anthology coming out that month).

So what's on my plate right now? I'm currently working on a short for another publishing company. It's a lesbian shape shifter anthology entitled Beastly Babes. I'm almost done with that story, and hopefully it'll be accepted. No, it isn't really any easier to get in the door once you've had one book published.

I've also got a full length novel I'm trying to get done, plus the sequel to Sail My Oceans that needs to be wrote.

I'd love to RP with you ladies and gents more, but after a day of brainstorming and pounding plots out on the keyboard, I'm just dead in the water. I think I'd like to have one or two people (who understand I may only reply once a week) do a 'Wing It' style RP with me. I used to do those a lot on Gaia's threads, and loved it.

Alright, sorry for ranting. Needed to get some stuff out of my system. I swear I'm going to put Blue Moon in the acknowledgements of one of my books one day. ~ D. F. Krieger

Some day I will learn how to work without throwing all kinds of pressure on myself. I believe I've almost bit off more than I can chew...Then again, that may just be fear of the unknown talking.

I recently took an offer from a fellow author to become a reviewer on her website. Free books? Hell yeah, I'm sooo on that! Now I get to read books on a regular basis and can honestly claim I'm doing it for more than just pleasure.

So I've lost some writing time there. No big deal, right? Right.

But then I pulled a whopper. It was well intended and how could anybody say no? I mean, seriously. Talk about asking for an egg and being handed an entire chicken. Who wouldn't take the upgrade?

See, here's what happened: I heard through the grapevine that a certain publishing company (not one that I have any submissions with) was looking to hire proofreaders and editors. Eh, what the hell? I could use the extra money and I'm good at catching errors. I applied for a proofreader position.

I received an e-mail back stating that after looking at my resume, they wanted me to take a test. Pending on how I scored on the test, they may be willing to discuss "other options" with me. Wow, neat. Maybe they want me to write for them?

I took the test. (May I point out now that it was so difficult, I almost panicked at all the red marks and comments I was making?) The next morning I received an e-mail offering me a job as an editor. Wha? 0.o

An EDITOR. Me? ...............<---This is me in that dumb stupor phase.

I was in a car at a stop light when I got the e-mail. When it set in what happened, I screamed in joy. The guy in the car next to me stared, rolled up his window, and pushed the lock down.

My husband, meanwhile, pointed out one flaw with my plan. "When are you going to have time for your own writing?"

*insert crickets*

"I thrive under pressure," I reassured him (and myself) after a lengthy silence. "I'll do better now because I'll make use of my time in a productive fashion."

Now to see if I can follow through on that... ~ D. F. Krieger

A quick heads up to anyone who cares; the hurricane will be hitting my home tomorrow. I don't know if I'll lose power and, if I do, how long it'll be down. If I haven't replied to your RP, bear with me. I didn't abandon you, I'm just trying to survive.

You can find more info about it, plus a neat contest I created to win a copy of my book, Sail My Oceans, here.

http://dfkrieger.blogspot.com/2011/08/hurricanes-pirates.html

I do hope that anyone else who is in the path of this hurricane is playing it safe and makes it through unscathed. ~ D. F. Krieger

Hang in there! Having lived through one hurricane and run from a few others, I don't envy anyone in its path right now. Thankfully, though it will hit the coast of NC, the mountains should come out fine.

(Thank you Dare! )

Being an editor, I have found, is harder emotionally than I ever imagined. The two authors I've been working with are wonderful people, and I'm really pleased that though they've both had moments where they've doubted my advice, they've listened to my reasons and followed through. Later, both of them have looked back and said they are happy I suggested the things they balked at. Thank the gods!

But it isn't them that makes this so hard. Its the rejections. I hate sending them out. It makes me feel like the meanest damn person in the world and my heart breaks for the authors. I want them to succeed. I know what it is like to have the dream of getting published burning within your soul. I know that most writers give up after so many rejections and it kills me inside to think I may have forever snuffed the flame of their writing passion.

When I do reject, I've tried to make my letters as personal as I can. I tell them exactly what was wrong and encourage them to resubmit after they've fixed the errors. So far, none have. Its only been two weeks. I hope they pleasantly surprise me.

As for my own writing, I've finally picked back up on the desire to write Wings of Obsidian. The emotion in it was turning me off. The heroine has suffered a lot and in conveying that to my readers, I've had to channel her pain, her fears, and her love. It can be wearing and I almost feared I wasn't doing a good enough job. Fortunately, I allowed a crit partner to read the first page of the chapter I'm having the most difficulty writing. When she e-mailed back, she said only six words - "Damn you. You made me cry!"

SCORE!

On a side note: a dear friend of mine created a website a couple of months ago and he seems to be updating it regularly. I thought I would share it with you all. It is a compilation of various calls for submissions from lots of publishing companies. We're talking honest to goodness, paying and established publishing companies. Anthologies are a wonderful way to get your foot in the door if you want to be published and I highly (HIGHLY) recommend submitting to some.

http://taliesincalls.weebly.com

As always, if any of you need advice on writing/submitting/editing please feel free to pm me. I don't have time to edit entire pieces, but I can give pointers or edit a couple of paragraphs to give you a feel for writing. ~ D. F. Krieger

I apologize to all of my RP partners... I think I'll be taking a hiatus from Blue Moon for a bit. I feel it is best I be frank and so I shall. Thursday night I OD'd on Nyquil with the intentions of killing myself. You see, I've had a rough past two years. Between the miscarriage that started in May and is still going on and has turned into Gestational Trophoblastic Disease (basically, the cells that make up the placenta act cancerous and can turn into cancer), my mother passing unexpectedly a little over a year ago, a bad car wreck that has affected my short term memory, my husbands constant lying about various things, and several other things... Finding out he'd been cheating on me was a blow I couldn't handle. Back on August 19th, he came home to tell me he wanted a divorce even though we weren't fighting or doing bad. Come to find out, he asked for it because a woman told him to. A woman, I discovered Thursday, he met here on Blue Moon when he created an account behind my back. Though their relationship wasn't of a sexual nature, it was still emotionally involved enough that I still consider it cheating. I found out that he made me out to be this horrible person (jealous, controlling, emotionally unstable). You're damn right I'm emotional unstable currently, who wouldn't be with all the shit that is going on. Jealous? He's cheated on me before so I'm highly suspicious and can be considered jealous, but I don't forbid him from speaking to females period. Controlling? How can I control a man who is often never home and completely unreachable?

Since the 19th he swears he wants to save our marriage. I'll admit, I'm a vortex of conflicting emotions. I love my husband, despite the mean things he said about me (He even told this other woman that he liked talking to her more than me). I hate him for the things he's done. I doubt, after this, I'll ever be able to trust him again. I spent time in the hospital and a Psych ward because of all of this. I didn't try to die simply because my husband cheated on me. I tried because him cheating was the last straw in a long line of horrendous situations. I mean, I'd just found out last Tuesday that I might have cancer, but they can't risk checking because any surgery at this time will cause me to hemorrhage.

I don't know if there is any forgiveness in me for my husband or the woman. She knew he was married and yet she had no issues with undermining the marriage. Trust me, I'm angrier at him than her, but still... I guess I'm writing this as a plea and a warning to others on here who are married or dealing with someone who is married. If you don't know the couple personally, DON'T EVER tell them to divorce. You don't know both sides of the story. DON'T EVER take the conversations to such a personal level that it can be considered emotional cheating. I understand people need friends, but their is a difference between a friend who is there for you and people who are involving themselves in a mental relationship that violates their vows. If you are married, please, please, please... Some of us can't take anymore. What you are doing (if you are doing wrong) could, honestly, destroy the person you love...And you won't realize it until they are in the ER and you are begging them to fight for their own life.

I don't remember much from the ER. I do have a fuzzy memory that my husband was holding my hand, crying and begging me not to die. Begging me to give him the time to prove that he'd never betray me again. Telling me that he didn't realize how great the wrong was he'd committed until he faced a future without me.

Just because it is "online" doesn't mean it isn't real, people. Its just as devastating and just as much of a betrayal.

How do you forgive some one who has broken every promise they ever made to you? How do you move past the pain and sorrow of knowing that they gave themselves more completely in one month to someone they barely knew than they ever did to their spouse of two years? When they look you in the eyes and beg for more time to prove they won't do it again/are sorry/to make it right, how can you live through the next second, the next minute, the next hour, day, week, month. The betrayal haunts my every waking moment.

Since my last post I've had to undergo emergency surgery. I've also been to the ER for hemorrhaging and passing tissue masses that were sent off for biopsy. They've come back negative for cancer, but I'm on a rigorous schedule of weekly blood tests (still) and strict orders to return to the ER should a multitude of things begin to happen.

I have no desire to write anymore. He tried to blame my writing for his transgressions at the beginning. Now I feel like, if I write, I lose my husband. Why does it matter so much? Even after everything he's done, some stupid part of me loves him. Panics at the idea of losing him. All I ever wanted was for my husband to be honest and faithful. Why is that so extreme in this era and society? All I ever wanted was some one who loved me so much they were incapable of breaking their vows. A pipe dream, apparently.

A story of mine is being released on Friday, yet I couldn't care less. Another is due to come out on the 29. All I can do is cry. Maybe Baby was suppose to be special. A dedication to him. To my love for him despite the physical distance often between us. While I was busting my ass writing the book in secret as a surprise for him, while I was getting his name tattooed across my heart in beautiful purple script as a dedication to him (something he'd asked for on more than one occasion), he was talking trash about me and seducing another woman. When he came home and saw the things I'd done for him, it didn't stop him one bit.

Every night, as I lay in my bed alone (because once again his ship has pulled out to sea), I cry and beg any gods who are willing to listen. I pray for one thing, without fail. "Please, whoever is out there. Please, let me die in my sleep." It's not inconceivable. I have a heart condition. It has killed everyone else in my family, including my aunt at the age of 30. I'm 27, not too far off.

"Please, just let me die."

I'm feeling much better today. I want to personally thank Dare for her kind messages and letting me dish some of my heart out. I really appreciate it. Many good things have happened since I wrote the last entry. I was assigned a new author to work with over the weekend. One of my other authors is fastly approaching her release day and it's an exciting time for her and myself. I also pitched an anthology idea to my boss, who is allowing me to place a call for submissions on it. It will be seven volumes total and I can't believe he's allowing me to head such an immense project even though I'm one of the newest editors. He's also since asked me to start helping with advertising our press as well as the sister press. Quite a big deal, if you ask me.

My husband came home two weeks early. He kept in steady contact while gone instead of pulling away like he normally does. When he saw me after walking off the ship, he laid a kiss on me that stole my breath away, in front of everyone. It was heart warming to feel that love and desire from him once again. I suppose, after speaking with my therapist Monday, I've come to realize something.

His cheating on me actually improved our relationship. I'm not suggesting my route of coping with it to anybody, by any means, but seeing me on that hospital bed dying really changed him. He's far more aware now of his emotions towards me and seems a lot more involved with forging a future together. Where once, if I asked his opinion on something like a quilt, he used to shrug and say "Whatever you like, I like." Now, he gets avidly involved with decisions in the house, and it may just be me, but he seems a lot more interested in spending time with our two sons as well.

He's talking to me again, like he did years ago when we first courted the idea of a relationship. We're considering writing together as a husband and wife team under a pen name (a genre I don't already write of course, so I'll still have my own writing). While gone, he made me a beautiful advertisement banner for my writing. It was very sweet and unexpected, plus an apology, I suppose, for trying to point the gun at my writing as the source of our problems. In the past, he still had that young mentality of "I want to barhop, have one night stands, spend my money without a care, and disappear when I feel like it." Since the incident, he's really settled down. He finally seems happy with our quiet lifestyle of home-cooked dinners, fidelity with only his wife, spending money on items as a family (though we still do random buys like books, movies, recently a ferret), and keeps in touch on a constant basis.

In short I believe that over time our marriage may be whole again. I'm able to start writing again and wanting to. Little bits and pieces, but far better than nothing. I'm able to let him hold me again without crying and feeling like I sorely lack in someway. I'm able to get on here without feeling the overwhelming urge to message the woman. I don't know if she reads this and feels guilt over how close she came to destroying our marriage. I don't care anymore. In a way, I suppose I need to thank her. If it hadn't been for her, I'm not sure my husband ever would have opened his eyes and seen the wrongs he was committing and made a choice about what life he wanted.

It has been a long time since I posted on here. Normally I don't post my new releases here. I'm not sure many of you even care, but this release that's coming out on Monday is special. I let my husband cheating on me and my time in the psych ward shape a new book that hopefully will help some one. To Honor is a very special book that I can't even read without crying, and I wrote the darn thing!

Blurb:

Everyone has their breaking point and Evelyn has finally reached hers. In an attempt to escape her life, and the events that broke her heart and killed her dreams, she tries to commit suicide. Now, at R&R Resort, she must find the strength to love and trust again. But can she trust the person who betrayed her the most?

Derek made the wrong decision, one that damn near cost him everything he ever loved. When his wife attempts suicide, his superior officer recommends a military only health facility called R&R Resort. His wife is alive, but can he heal the wounds that are tearing their marriage apart?

Today marks another release day for me. As of now, I have nine books out and more schedule. Two for next month, four already schedule for next year. I have to say, I'm super stoked because I finally got offered that big dream. Yeah...Print. That's right, my stuff is going to be on book store shelves and I have to admit, I'm kinda scared.

You see, I'm writing a paranormal series with a mystery feel too it. The books will start coming out in e-book format in January (and then every two months after.) The print versions will start releasing next July. I've written the first book, and I'm working on the second. I think I choked recently, because my writing has become sporadic again. I'd like to blame it all on work.

My job at Breathless Press and Lycaon Press has intensified beyond my expectations. I climbed the ranks quicker than I thought possible and while I'm happy I'm working, I'm also a little overwhelmed with the amount of work saddled on my shoulders. I've actually scheduled a vacation from work for two weeks starting in January because I'm starting to suffer burn out. I have 19 manuscripts I'm currently editing, each of them with different authors who need help in different ways. I'm quite blessed in the fact none of my authors are the snide diva kind. Each of them are really sweet individuals who do their best and apply my suggestions without fighting me.

That's great and all but it kills my writing time. When I finally get free time, the last thing I want to do is STILL sit at a computer working on Microsoft Word to help a story flow. I want video games, or an outing to the zoo. To help keep myself from turning into a chunky chic, I bought a gym membership. Thus far I'm hitting the gym about 4 times a week, alternating between hardcore fitness training and swimming. It burns oh so good.

I wonder if anyone would look at me funny if I played my PSP while on the treadmill? Hmmmm

*hugs and loves*
Congrats. This is so exciting! I'm so thrilled for you it's insane! I admire you in so many ways.......... and this reminds me that I need to k.i.t more too.

Hey D. A.!

I've been missing hearing from you. Shame on you for teasing me with that last e-mail and then putting me through a dry spell. I'm sure everything I've achieved, you can too. Just need to reach for it. It takes a little time getting there, but it's totally worth it!

<3

*nodnod* I've been going through creative spurts and dry spells with it. But it's moving along. It's why I <3 you because you help me and are patient with me all rolled in one. And you encourage me like no other. I'm gonna keep reaching and reaching..... <333 I will get there. And all thanks to you.

I hate NaNo! Okay, so I don't actually hate NaNo, but I hate the fact it has revealed how little I am able to write anymore. 12 books needed to be edited for Christmas at my day job, and guess who willingly went into the crossfire knowing it would be a killer. Yeah, this dummy right here. These books were time sensitive and I guess I'm just a sucker for authors. I can't stand the idea of an author pouring their heart and soul into writing a book, only to have the inner political bullshit and callousness of some people cause them to have a bad experience. So I dutifully volunteered and in a sense I shot myself in my own foot.

I've got four books under contract. I've developed a good reputation with Secret Cravings Publishing as an author. I may not be one of their top sellers, but apparently my stuff does get noticed. They took a risk and offered me a contract for four books. The books have to each be 50,000 words or more so they can go in to print. My dream! PRINT! Except...only the first book was written, and they knew that. They've given me ample time to write the rest, but these damn Christmas stories sucked my life out from me. I'm only 24k into the second book and it's due to be released in March. Freaking MARCH! *head/desk/curse/repeat*

And then I had a brilliant idea...

NANO! NaNo will save me! It will motivate me! YAY. *Insert moronic "I think I'm a genius" grin here*

Yeah, NaNo is already over halfway done and I'm not even halfway there. So what's happened? I'm starting to panic. Well, panic even more than I was. Because now I can see how far I'm falling behind. That horribly brilliant chart taunts me every time I log in. I feel like when I update my word count, a deity is going to burst from the computer and be like, "You're offering hath been rejected, mortal. Feed me more literary sacrifice or I shall cast you into the darkest pits of Hades!"

A four day weekend is coming up for the holidays and I swear I'm preparing to post at work that I shall not be disturbed during the holidays lest they get the hose again. I will be writing, my precious, and I will kills any who dare takes it aways!