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Journal (thoughts, complaints, possibly secrets, etc.)

[Raven]

Planetoid
Joined
Jan 30, 2010
Wow. I am pretty irritated right now. I can tell my mom's wheels are spinning. I know in her head she is probably making DUMB ass assumptions that aren't even REMOTELY close to the truth and I don't know why. It wouldn't be the first time, course, but that's probably why is so annoying now.

I don't really have a LOT of friends, but I have a few and recently one of my friends have come back from out of state (college) and we've been hanging out a lot. So, when I suddenly leave, like after work or something she seems to be surprised and have a bit of an attitude. It irritates me. Just because she's old and doesn't want to ever do anything but be with her fiance doesn't mean that I'm the same. She acts as if I'm being strange by going out with my friend. She looks at me suspiciously when I leave or come back from her house. The other day she actually asked me if I was getting high at her house. I felt like screaming NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! YOU KNOW I DON'T SMOKE! WHY WOULD YOU ASSUME THAT?! It's retarded. It's like she's suddenly forgot who I am just because I'm not at home as much. And anyways tonight, I dressed up a little nicer than usual because... I felt like it? I just did. So I tell her I'm going out, we don't know what we're gonna do, but I'm going. She gives me a look and reluctantly kisses my cheek after I lean for I don't know how long, and continues the look. As if she doesn't believe that I don't know where or what we're gonna do. I don't know WHY she thinks that. I don't lie to her. Not really. I may tell a slimmer version of the truth here or there or exaggerate a tad bit (contrary to the way she does), but that's it.

Anyways. me and my friend have nothing to do. We go to a resturaunt, eat and talk and read (we are on this sort of reading kick) and drive around after because there's nothing else to do at 1030/11ish on a tues in this lame-ass city, until I say we should just go to my house. So we're in the garage, hanging out and finally her mom calls and says she has to go home. (she doesn't have a car here now because she's moved everything to where she goes to school, so I have to drive her) I'm whispering and telling her to be quiet because my mom and her fiance are sleeping, and turn off the light when we exit, and whadaya know, my mom is on her way to the kitchen. She's a bit startled, and I know she sleeps in little clothing, so I tell my friend to go the door and dont turn on the light. My mom goes back to her room once she knows that me and my friend are in the house... anyways. I take her home and come home and she pokes her head out of the room, "What are you doing?" I say, "nothing, just gonna check my mail and go to bed." She gives me another GODDAMN look. "What were you guys doing?" I tell her, "nothing. just hanging out, there was nothing else to do..." she still stares, "Well what were you guys doing, the lights were off?" and now I am DEFINITLY aggitated. The lights WEREN'T OFF I just turned them off when we left the room. Which is, what I think, most people do! I felt like saying: WHAT? I'M NOT A LESBIAN NOW IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE THINKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Omg. It wouldn't be the first tiem that she accused me of beign one. DUDE! What pisses me off the most is that she accuses me of doing someghing with out actually saying it. She'll just make faces and ask questions that imply things. Like she just beats around the bush. She's truly accusing me, but not litterally doing it, so she can get away with doing it. Uhg! I just wish she'd fucking come out and say/ask shit from me straight up. I AM NOT GAY! I DON'T DATE A LOT BUT I AM NOT GAY! Ugh! that's what I feel like saying. She's done this to me several times with friends I hang with. Just because...I don't know why.

Anyways. I suppose I feel better now, about that. And for the record. I am attracted to both sexes, but highly doubt I'd ever date another female.

-sighs-

Well, I guess that's it for now. Just wanted to vent.
 
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