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They say I lost my only friend

Joined
May 4, 2009
Okay, Misan doesn't do many of these things because I find the idea of spilling your guts rather...unpleasant as it sounds. I am the mediator, not the speaker. That said, I need to get this off my chest I suppose.

I HATE YOU SUBCONSCIOUS. I HATE YOU SO MUCH.

I had a dream where I traveled back through time. To about 1993 to be precise. I ended up buying/stealing bunches of Magic: the Gathering boxes to sell for insane amounts of money later in the future.

As dreams are wont to do, I sort of sped through many things. The "me" of the dream was not exactly "me," if you can understand that. Not until the very end. I ended up back at my house the very day my cat died.

I relived that painful memory over again through my dream. I held him in my hands as he passed away. I wasn't able to do that the first time. But instead of feeling like I had been there for him I realized I hadn't. He had been born in '93. This dream made me miss HIS ENTIRE LIFE EXCEPT FOR THE LAST DAY.

I woke up after he had died. I was screaming in my dream but not in real life. What the hells? Why? Why couldn't I have seen him as a kitten again? Why couldn't I have I have been there when he needed to go to the vet and gotten him there earlier? Just...why that of all things? Am I not depressed enough in my life that my mind thinks I need this?

It just doesn't make sense.
 
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